Heating Up

After spending Thursday evening together, AB drove me home from his apartment at 11PM. We had a celebratory evening as he received a job offer that day! The cherry on top? I found out the company was a few minutes walking distance from the advertising agency. My bad boy took us cruising down the highway, had his one hand stroking up and down my thigh, while my body was moving back and forth to the dance remixes that were blasting through the speakers.

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Since AB got let go from work, I’m happy to report that it has been a blessing in disguise and our relationship has continued to grow. At first it was upsetting for me to pass by his empty desk, but now I’ve accepted the fact that we no longer work together. I simply get more excited for the next opportunity I get to see him.

***

We were ten minutes away from the exit ramp to get to my house – when suddenly I hear a fairly loud thud. He continued to drive but the further we went we could hear the sounds getting worse. I was concerned and he also felt that something was wrong. Luckily – we were nearby another exit ramp so he took the ramp, pulled over to the side of the road and put his hazard lights on. He told me to stay in the car and got out to examine what was wrong. Sure enough, we had a flat tire. Shit! The wheel was really hot. AB had never changed a tire before, so he quickly called CAA. I could tell he was a bit freaked out / in a state of shock, so I stroked his arm to keep him calm. We found out that his families CAA membership had not been renewed – and unfortunately it couldn’t be done that night.

“You didn’t have to go to such an extent to spend more time with me, you know.”

AB laughed and kissed me.

We both had very little battery power left on our phones. I couldn’t believe this was happening! He called another roadside assistance company – and thankfully they were able to get to us twenty minutes after he made the call. I had to get out of the car while they switched the tire. They weren’t quite sure what it was, but think it could have been a nail which punctured the tire. It was pitch black out, and we were both being bitten alive by mosquitoes. We got back in the car around 12:15AM. I was barely able to direct us to my place from the exit we got off at (a combination of feeling beyond tired along with being very directionally challenged). However, we made it and I got home safely at 12:30AM.

We kissed goodnight. I got inside, set my alarm clock, turned out the lights and lay in bed smiling over how crazy of a day it had been.

As for what comes next, I’m not sure. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship, and I have no clue if he’s even open to an exclusive relationship. From everything I’ve shared thus far – it would seem there are strong indicators that he is moving towards that level with me. I’m still not sure if I’m ready to DTR (determine the relationship) – although it’s certainly something that could come up in the near future!

Spring has Sprung, but not My Love Life

I thought I’d kick off the first day of Spring by grabbing Gelato with my latest Tinder match, David. We had started talking on March. 15. David and I had a few mutual friends, and didn’t live too far from one another. I made it clear right off the bat that I wasn’t looking for a casual hookup, and he felt the same way. Once that was out of the way, we started getting into a lengthy conversation through our Tinder messages. By day 2, he asked for my cell number, and so the conversation continued via texting. We talked about practically everything; where we went to school, places we’ve traveled, family, friends, likes/dislikes.. the list goes on for miles.

By day 3, we added each other on the iPhone application called Snapchat. What I really like about this app, is that you can send instant pictures and videos to one another for a certain number of seconds – which gives me a sense of relief, knowing their face matches that of their pictures. David and I also made plans to meet on Thursday (today).

By day 4, we must have sent at least 100 text messages back and forth between one another. We still hadn’t spoken on the phone. I had thought of bringing up the option several times but by this point, it didn’t really make sense as I had plans to meet him the next day.

I met up with David after work today, around 5:15pm. To sum up our date… we certainly clicked and there weren’t any long, awkward pauses as I thought there might be. However, I felt the conversation fell a bit flat. It was a bit of a let down as we really didn’t have any of the first date conversation topics left. I wasn’t ready to jump into talking about anything more serious, so all we had left to talk about was how work was and the weather (and that’s a sign to get out!) I also quite honestly didn’t feel the physical attraction was there in person, even though I did find him cute in his pictures.

After about an hour and a half – not even.. we decided to head our separate ways. There was no mention of seeing each other again.

A valuable lesson I’ve taken away from this – is that when you start talking to someone new.. you shouldn’t get to know each others full life story before you meet. It’s important to get to know each other in person. Otherwise, it may sometimes feel like a big let down and disappointment.

So yes, spring has officially sprung, but my love life is unfortunately still pretty cold.

Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

The Tinder Epilogue

The last few days of texting back and forth with Jon led to this:

So when do you think you’ll be able to start driving again?

Jon: I have no idea. :( The doc said he will check up on me again in a month. I am going camping for 2 weeks. So excited. :D

Who are you going camping with? / when?

No response.

I was fed up. One part of me felt like writing again to say “fuck you for your erratic behaviour!” I wanted straight up answers, and all he kept giving me was small talk. I got the impression that he wasn’t interested to pursue what we had anymore. There was no more effort on his part. No more texts saying, “you’re beautiful, you know that” or “I’ll never stop telling you how stunning you are”. I still couldn’t fathom how Jon could go from being so completely enthralled with me to just start slowly writing me off. Did lying on the hammock, having our arms around each other, mean nothing to him? I felt stupid for having gone through the effort of transcribing the song he played on guitar and creating lyrics to go with it. I had hoped what we had would work out, and I could sing the lyrics to him when we were dating exclusively.

I wrote out a follow up text which took quite some time to compose. I didn’t want to come across angry, nor desperate. I just wanted to write something that’s intent would hopefully get him to snap back into gear and make more of an effort to fight for me. I sent the following text yesterday evening:

Hey. I’ve had a lot of fun getting to know you and I loved meeting you and your sister but I’ve noticed you’ve become distant. I’d appreciate you telling me where your heads at. Because if you’re not interested in getting to know me more, then I have another guy who is interested and I’ve been holding off.

Okay, yes, I lied. There are no other current suitors on the horizon. However, it was my own subtle, plea of desperation for him to fight for me. For him to realize what a good thing I was and to not let his ex get the better of him / manipulate him to think otherwise.

I waited for a response all day today. As the day went on with no response, I knew it probably wasn’t going to have a great ending. I braced myself for the worst. At quarter to 5, my phone flashed and I saw he texted. I took a deep breath, opened the message, and read:

I am so sorry for being distant without realizing it. Your text yesterday has made me think long and hard about why that is. You are an incredible girl, with a lot going for you! I have come to the conclusion that I just can’t handle anything long distance at the moment. Especially when school starts. You deserve someone that has the time for you :). So basically I think I have been distant for the last bit because deep down I knew I didn’t want us to get more attached to each other, only hurting you more. I am so happy to know you have someone else!! You deserve an amazing guy!!

My eyes started tearing up and I hurried towards the washroom, away from my co-workers. I locked myself in a stall, and started sobbing. I called my mom and told her about what happened. She tried consoling me, but it didn’t take away the pain that I felt. Why? I kept thinking to myself. How can this be? It seemed we were so perfect for one another.

I extremely appreciate the support and guidance from all of you. I agree, there were a lot of red flags to begin with, and he certainly comes with quite a bit of baggage from his past relationships. I think the long distance line he said was bull shit. An hour really isn’t bad. And camping when he’s still recovering from his injury? Something doesn’t add up there. I really do feel like the ex got to him, and he probably still has feelings for her. So maybe this is for the best.

The question is, do I give it one last attempt and respond? Maybe just being completely honest with him about how I feel would be good to get off my chest before closing the door.

On a more uplifting note, there may actually be a new suitor around the corner. Here’s a sneak preview:

Zach: Hey, I’m friends with Cory who works with your mom…not a random creeper. Said I should say hello.

Is he Playing Hard to Get?

The latest fish I met is surprisingly the guy I was referring to in my ‘What a Charmer’ blog post. Over a month ago I was talking to a guy who suggested to meet up for coffee soon after our initial online introduction. I was so excited to meet him but then he shockingly let me down at the last minute saying he was too busy with work and he wasn’t ready to date or be in a relationship. I was pretty upset over it as he had led me on and felt at the very least he owed me one coffee date, but that was the end of it.

I then saw he was online this past Thursday and knew he lied to me. Well, he could have all along just been looking for a fun time and wanted nothing serious but I still wasn’t going to let him off the hook. I called him out on it and sent him a message saying something along the lines of, “so much for you being so busy with work that you don’t have time to meet up with anyone.” I figured he would disregard my message but instead he wrote back saying between now and the 6th of November he had mid terms and he was just on the site wasting a bit of time since school/work was calming down a bit. Then he wrote:

After Nov 6 I think I will have some time to slow down and catch my breath. To be honest, when I was speaking with you I just got kind of overwhelmed, and I had to stop and catch my breath. If you are feeling up to it I would love to meet up with you after my midterms. I think we hit it off pretty well. What do you think?

He also apologized for cancelling last minute and said he understood if I didn’t want to meet up with him anymore. I took a bit of time to process the message. Ultimately I decided to meet him and give it a another shot since I also felt we hit it off the first time we talked.

We spoke quite a bit that night, and went from possibly meeting after November 6th, to the following evening (Friday) for coffee. It all felt like a bit of deja vu. I was excited but also a bit nervous he would let me down last minute like the first time.

Thankfully he didn’t and in fact was right on time. Just like in his pictures he was incredibly gorgeous and I felt at ease talking to him within the first few minutes of sitting down next to one another.

At the end of our first date, we hugged goodbye and he even asked for me to join him to a work function he was invited to the following week as his plus 1!

Update: almost the end of the weekend and still no text message from him (although I know he is more of a phone talker). Also I had deleted him off Facebook last time, and we had mentioned re-adding each other but I feel before I do, I should hear from him first. I absolutely hate this ‘playing hard to get’ game. It could just be he’s very busy with work but is it not a good sign I haven’t heard from him yet?

Okay to Mix Work and Pleasure?

Yesterday I had a scheduled meeting with a senior designer at a fairly large advertising agency in Toronto. I had met him about a month ago as part of a design conference and was completely in awe when I first laid eyes on him (as I’m sure a million of the other girls in the room were). I was expecting to meet professionals who were in their mid to late 30s or 40s. Instead, I walk into one of the rooms and there I am standing face to face with a guy who looks to be my age in very casual attire. Gorgeous blue eyes and shaggy brown hair, with a bit of a stubble. Very tall — at least 6 feet, and he was wearing a sports cap. While he was explaining what his agency was all about and some of the work they did, I was blown away, yet at the same time incredibly distracted listening to the words coming out of his mouth. I kept saying to myself… “stop being so unprofessional and FOCUS,” but I just couldn’t get over the fact that he was the senior designer there. Prior to showing us some of the work the ad agency had done, he talked about his past work experiences and I was amazed at some of the big agencies he had worked at prior to his current position.

I thought to myself… he must be incredibly talented having gotten to the level he is currently at, also seemingly no older than 25 or 26. He also appeared almost TOO attractive. One of those guys who I’d most likely be too shy to approach in a bar. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In my eyes, he certainly got my attention. Another thought running through my head… “is he gay?” Well you never really know. I decided to keep my fantasy alive of me and him being a power couple in the design industry.

A few days following the conference I wrote to him asking if they were looking for a summer design intern or Junior Graphic Designer. Unfortunately after a few correspondences I found out they had already hired one for the summer. Despite this, he had offered to meet me one-on-one to discuss my portfolio and give me pointers. Of course I jumped at the opportunity and agreed to meet him.

For those of you who haven’t read the novel called ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ I’d say go buy it this instant. It’s part of a trilogy and once you start you really can’t put it down. I’ve listed it under my Goodreads widget in the sidebar.

Quoted from the ever so trusted Wikipedia…

Fifty Shades of Grey is a New York Times bestselling erotic fiction paperback and e-book by E.L. James. Set largely in Seattle, the trilogy traces the deepening relationship between college graduate Ana Steele and a young business magnate, Christian Grey.

Until you read it this association won’t make sense. However, I truly felt like the main character Anastasia Steele prior to meeting this guy similar to the other main character in the novel — Christian Grey. Similarly, I became in awe of someone close in age, who I found incredibly attractive and appeared in my eyes so powerful, smart and sophisticated.

Yesterday was the day. I arrived fifteen minutes early and was greeted 5 minutes later by him. He gave me a gorgeous grin and we said hello to each other. He guided me to a boardroom in the back and again, I was in awe, but tried my best to maintain a mature and professional level of composure. We chatted casually at first about where I went to school, which then led to me taking out my portfolio and I began talking through each of my pieces.

He patiently listened and seemed interested as I was talking. Following this, he gave me his feedback about each of my pieces. One at a time, in great detail. His ideas were brilliant and I was absorbing every word he had to say. I ultimately convinced myself, “he can’t be gay… at least in my mind he wasn’t”. An hour and a half later (which went by too fast) we said goodbye. I told him I would keep in touch and hopefully he would keep me in mind for any new opportunities at the agency.

So to answer my blog title question… is it okay to mix work and pleasure? Well for me it wasn’t so much work as it was gaining real world experience in my profession. Still, I believe it’s okay to mix in a bit of pleasure as long as it’s appropriate and doesn’t distract you from your daily tasks and objectives. I think everyone is entitled to a bit of fantasy… no matter which environment you are in. Thoughts?

S.A.D. Day = Apple Crumble, Ice Cream & A Family Bonding Experience

S.A.D. Day = For those of you who don’t know, yesterday was ‘Singles Awareness Day’. Once again I fell into that category.

So I’m sure all of you were expecting an interesting post yesterday seeing as it was the most lovey dovey holiday for the year (although personally I think it’s a bit overrated). Then again that may also be because I didn’t have that special someone to buy me a pink rose and say those 3 magic words.

So yesterday it was pretty much a work day. I had 1 class and was secretly hoping a guy in my class who I have a slight crush on would possibly ask me out for dinner as class ended at 5:30. Let me tell you this guy is the complete opposite of me personality wise. He’s immature, is obsessed with Japanese culture and has pretty bizarre habits like cracking his knuckles every half hour. Putting all that aside, he’s stunning. When I look in his direction to mouth the words ‘hey’ he responds with a coy facial expression – lifting one of his eyebrows in a sexy way. Anyways, was kinda down as I didn’t even get to take the subway home with him after class, as we usually do with a group of people from school (as he had to get something printed).

So ended off my long day going out with my family to a quaint little deli where I knew I wouldn’t see many ‘lovey-dovey’ public displays of affection. My parents gave me yummy chocolate and ironically both my parents bought me the exact same card independent of one another. Ha! This is why I keep saying to make home made cards…

Anyway I had a great time with my family. I got an amazing dessert (apple crumble with the best vanilla ice cream I’ve ever tasted). Hopefully this time next year I will have that ‘lovey-dovey’ feeling for someone and they better get me amazing chocolates and 5 pink roses. Or maybe even a red rose!