A million miles away P.2

Continuation of ‘A million miles away‘…

Me: Safe travels! Let me know when you’re here.

SA Boy: You know it.

Picture he attached upon arrival at airport

SA boy was here, in Canada! It didn’t seem real. We had been messaging and calling one another over Whatsapp since the beginning of February. The thought of finally getting to meet him face to face was incredibly exciting.

He wrote early the next day, saying he was pretty busy with family activities during the day – but could hang out later in the evening for dinner, with the potential of joining him and his cousins afterwards at a bar.

We decided to meet up at 8pm for a late dinner. I was disappointed to learn that he was just going to be having a guys night out with his cousins. That meant we would only have 2 hours together before he had to meet them, but that wasn’t going to put a damper on my evening.

I arrived at the restaurant right at 8, and ran straight to the washroom to freshen up. I awkwardly sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes, eagerly waiting for him to say “I’m here”. However, SA boy didn’t appear to be receiving my messages, and I was developing a pit in my stomach.. thinking that he wasn’t going to show up. Around 10 after I walked out of the washroom back towards the front entrance. As I’m walking, someone stands up from their table and taps my shoulder. Startled, I look over and it was him!

He grinned and showcased the most beautiful dimples I’ve ever seen. He bent his 6’4 stature over to hug me hello. I must have been blushing like a little school girl. Then he started talking…. and my whole body melted. It was one thing to hear his sexy South African accent over the phone, but to have the whole package *ha ha* in front of me, I just couldn’t take it.

Our time together whizzed by. We ordered some drinks and both got the same pasta dish. We were joking around about South African vs. Canadian lingo. Like did you know that in SA, they call street lights robots? Also, trunks here are called boots there! Before I knew it his cousins were writing, asking where he was.

He was quite the gentleman and pulled out his wallet to pay, but I insisted it was on me since he was a guest in my country. He then walked me to the subway. It was so cute… his teeth were chattering the entire walk over (they don’t get snow in SA, and the coldest it ever gets is about 5 degrees). I looped my arm through his, joking around saying I’d keep him warm. He clearly took that as an opening to place his arm around me and pull us closer together.

When we got to the subway, he ordered an Uber and we talked about potentially meeting up once more the next day before I left to go out of town. I looked up at him, our eyes locked, and like out of a fairy tale, we kissed. I completely blocked out the people walking around us – and soaked in those next 2 minutes before he had to go. He was an amazing kisser. ;)

We tried to meet up again the next day, but sadly the timing didn’t work. We agreed that when I go visit there, we would have more time to spend together.

I’m trying to stay realistic. He lives half way around the world. July is also a fair time away. I’ll keep my search going in the mean time, but rest assured there will most certainly be a part 3 to this story. Potentially part 4, if this fairy tale has more chapters.

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A million miles away

Well it’s already two months into the new year, and I’ve only had one or two potential matches. None of which were exciting enough to report. Until now…

This year marks my mothers 40th year since she immigrated to Toronto from South Africa, so we felt it was the right time for us to go visit as a family and explore the part of the country she grew up in. So in a few months, we will be flying almost half way around the world (a total of 21 hours to be exact)… for what I’m sure will be quite an emotional and exhilarating trip.

As we started looking into our trip a month ago, I had a crazy idea: why not see what the guys are like in South Africa? So I hopped onto JSwipe, changed my location setting, and low and behold was presented with a few dozen new profiles of Jewish South African hunks. I knew my chances were slim of getting matched with any of them as they could see I lived so far away — but still swiped right on a few profiles.

The next day, I got a match! SA boy looked absolutely dreamy in his photos — beautiful dimples and the most perfect smile. You know you’ve matched with a guy from Africa when he has profile pictures with parrots on his shoulders and elephant trunks wrapped around his body.

SG (Suburban Girl): “Want to be my tour guide when I come visit?”

SA Boy: “Sure! Gladly.”

SG: What do you for fun in SA?

SA Boy: “You mean when not racing cheetahs? ;P There’s plenty to do, but like anywhere in the world we spend way too much time watching series.”

We started bonding over several TV show series, and he told me about all the romantic things we could do in SA when I came to visit — like going surfing and watching the sunset on the beach. I was already swooning. Fast forward a few messages later…

SA Boy: “Ironically, you might be the one being the tour guide first! I’m actually going to be in your city for a wedding in March.”

I couldn’t believe it. Of all the men I could have matched with in South Africa… he was already planning to come visit here for the first time — for his cousins wedding! I leaped in excitement.

Despite the 7 hour time difference, we’ve been managing to write lengthy messages back and forth to one another. The more I’m discovering about him, the more excited I am about meeting him in person. The countdown is officially on until we meet for the first time. Of course the reality is that he does live so far away, and it’s truly a fairy tale to think that it could end up working out and one of us moves to live with the other person. However, I am truly a romantic at heart, and you never know where life will lead you next.

What are your thoughts? Would fellow romantics route for this to go somewhere?

Hold tight for part 2 of this story.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ryan and I lay in each others arms on my bed. Burning tears were streaming down my cheeks, as I burrowed my head into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, baby” he said, holding onto me tightly and kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes which were red and cloudy with tears.

Around 2AM I walked downstairs with him, gripping onto his shirt tightly until we got to the front door. He tilted my head up and wiped away my tears with his finger. “We will always be in each others lives… don’t forget that”. I nodded and we gave each other one last kiss before he walked out. I stood by the door sobbing, with an awful, heart-wrenching pain that I had never experienced before.


After 9 incredible months of dating Ryan from JSwipe, it was time to say farewell to one another. Ryan was accepted into a PhD program half way around the world, which will take about 4 years to complete.

We knew about 3 months in that he would be leaving to go. It wasn’t an easy time in our relationship. At that point we were developing strong feelings for one another, and I hated the though of him leaving me. It was a difficult decision, but Ryan knew he couldn’t turn it down. It was one of the most prestigious and competitive programs in his field of study.

I could have ended the relationship at that point to avoid the heartbreak and sadness later on. However, I knew I had to let my fears go – not willing to give up the special bond we had.

We carried forward and went on a countless number of dates. Between our lazy nights at home watching American Horror Story, going to The Zoo, spending the night at a fancy hotel for his birthday and slow dancing together at his sisters wedding – we made so many wonderful memories together.

Before we knew it, October arrived and it was inevitable to talk about the future of our relationship. It was a very tough and emotional discussion to have, but ultimately it was decided that we weren’t going to try and do long-distance. As much as we cared for one another deeply, it would be very tough to be apart from one another for so long. As well, I needed the opportunity to explore other relationships – as this is all very new to me… in order to compare and decide what exactly I want in a life time partner.

I can finally say to the whole blogosphere that I did find love, and it has been an absolutely incredible journey to get to this point (even though it meant I had to experience heart break). A part of me will always love Ryan – we plan on staying in each others lives forever. We’ve been talking frequently since he landed – and I look forward to video chatting with him in a day or two once he is all settled in.

Who knows – maybe he will end up being the one I’m meant to be with forever. For now, my journey continues, and I hope you will stay along for the ride.

Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

My Chocolate was Hot on Easter Sunday

To all my followers that were hopeful Facebook boy would truly be my prince charming: unfortunately I don’t have good news. In fact, I’ve been screaming at myself for being so easily manipulated to think he was actually interested in developing something with me. Instead, he used me for my design skills and once I was of no more use to him, he stopped communicating with me. So it’s time to say goodbye and move on.

Business boy and I had been messaging each other back and forth over the past week on a Jewish online dating site. Even though I’m not very religious, I thought it would be nice to try it out and find some guys who were a bit more serious about looking to find the right girl. After my date with Facebook boy, I was feeling pretty defeated but I figured this would be the last guy I met up with before wrapping up the last few weeks of school.

We decided it’d be great to grab a hot chocolate/coffee over the weekend. Business boy told me he was heading up to his cottage on Saturday (I desperately wanted to ask him to take me with but contained myself). He said he’d call me when he got back Saturday afternoon to arrange plans. Sure enough the next day I heard from him. He sounded very cute on the phone. We talked for a few minutes and decided to meet at a shopping mall the next day that was located between the two of us. I thought this would be a good spot – instead of having to sit down the whole time over a drink, we could walk around a bit.

I woke up Sunday morning when it hit me: the shopping mall is probably closed today, being Easter Sunday! Still lying in bed, I called the shopping mall and sure enough no one was picking up. I sent him a text message saying the mall was most likely closed so would he be open to just going somewhere else to grab a drink. He said he’d be cool to meet me at a coffee shop in my area which was very sweet of him (and refreshing, compared to Facebook boy who made me come to him). So I gave him the name and intersection and we decided to meet at 3:30 pm today.

I got to the coffee shop ten minutes early and found a table for two towards the back. I sat down and threw my coat on the chair. I then started getting a bit fidgety and was looking around the shop which was fairly busy but still comfortable/not too loud. I sent him a text saying I got there and asked how much longer he’d be. I received a message back saying he was a few minutes away.

My heart was leaping back and forth. I saw a guy walk in and he looked at me but he didn’t look at all like Business boy. He sat down at a table towards the front, so I sighed in relief and continued fidgeting. A few minutes later another guy walked in, and as he came closer he totally looked like the guy in the pictures I saw, probably ten times cuter. I got up to hug him. He was very tall (about 6’2), muscular and was wearing a cologne that got me a bit too giddy.

Before we sat down, Business boy offered to buy me a drink (what was I thinking with the last guy?) and so I went up to the counter with him to order a hot chocolate. He also got a drink for himself. Standing there with him I was in awe of how gorgeous he was and was already starting to feel butterflies. I told myself to remain calm and try to not smile so much.

We sat down with our drinks in hand and conversation immediately started flowing naturally. He showed a lot of interest in what I was studying and how my graduate show worked. He told me about how he was working in finance/marketing and continued presenting himself in a very sexy and professional way. As he talked he had a bit of a crooked smile which I found a bit distracting but cute. I’d like to think I did a very good job listening and asking questions in response. Not once did either of us check our cell phones and we pretty much talked about everything from our similar music tastes to how important family was to countries we have/want to travel to. We seemed to have such a similar outlook on life and he just seemed really mature, yet down to earth. Most importantly, I got a sense that he was looking for something more than just hooking up or having a good time. Which is something I’ve learned is what I want at this point in my life.

Two hours later our cups were dry and he told me he had to go home for a family dinner. I found it so attractive that he put the time aside every Sunday to catch up with them. As we were getting ready to leave he asked if I drove here. I had actually been given a lift to the coffee shop so he offered to give me a ride home. I was still feeling so giddy and the butterflies were growing stronger. I was happy he was going to be with his family, but selfishly I would have loved to spend more time with him.

We walked into the parking lot and he told me to stop once we got to the black Mercedes. My jaw dropped. I tried remaining cool and collected. It was so sleek and inside I was screaming: out of happiness this time. I directed him to my house and once arrived we hugged goodbye. Once I got inside my dad was cooking in the kitchen and I told him the guys name (only because Business boy said his parents used to live in the same city as my dad). My dad recognized the last name and sure enough – he had gone to University with both his parents. We couldn’t believe what a small world it is!

If he writes again (let’s keep our fingers crossed), I will have to tell him about that. Maybe it’s a sign? What do you think?

Epiphany over the Caribbean Sea

Yesterday I arrived home from a one week family vacation. We flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico and from there cruised along the Caribbean Sea to St. Thomas, St. Kitts, Aruba and Curacao. It was absolute paradise. Definitely can’t complain going from Toronto’s -15 degrees Celsius to 30 degrees Celsius weather.

My goal going into this vacation was just to relax and enjoy every single moment of my travels and time with my family. Which is exactly what I did. I sat on the top deck of the cruise ship by the pool and stared out into the swaying, aquamarine ripples of the ocean as we awaited our first port. It felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, just a speck floating in this large vessel on water and in that moment it made the world seem infinite. I felt completely relaxed and with the sun beaming down and a subtle breeze passing by every so often; I felt like all my anxieties, troubles and fears had temporarily floated away.

Having no access to technology was difficult at first but as the trip continued it felt refreshing not to have it by my side 24/7. In fact, not knowing if any of my ‘fish’ had written to me felt great, and made me realize that it was taking away from appreciating what I did have in my life and just living in the moment.

I got home from my trip with a sun burn that was peeling, but was surprisingly darker than I’ve ever been. When we landed back in Toronto I was already reminiscing about the islands, dolphin encounter and laying on the beaches in Aruba and St. Kitts with a Pina Colada in hand. There were several guys with their families that looked my age on the cruise, but I really wanted to not focus on chasing after anyone and if anything let them chase me.

When I arrived back in Toronto to the freezing cold, I felt like the last week had been a dream. I flipped through my pictures and couldn’t believe I experienced all of it. Really, it was an escape from reality. Although I’m home now and back to daily routine, I want to continue not to let my obsession over finding ‘the one’ take away from experiencing life to the fullest.

My advise to all of my readers: make yourself a Pina Colada and lay down on your couch. Play a YouTube soundtrack of the ocean breeze. (Yes guys, this goes for you too. You can get a beer instead of a Pina Colada if preferred). Close your eyes, shut your technology off and discover that feeling that pushes away all the stressful things in your life and transports you to a contented place.