Speed Dating Adventures: Round 1

Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another. Back in the nineties, speed dating events attracted large diverse crowds. But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled potentially as a result of people primarily finding their partners through apps.

Although it’s not as common anymore (at least for my age group) – the thought of having up to 15 mini-dates seemed very exciting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to experience being ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’ at least once?

My silent prayer was answered when my sweet Jewish mother purchased me 2 speed dating Groupons through 25dates.com as part of my birthday gift. I mean… do you think she was sending me a subtle hint?

So I went online to sign my friend and I up. Neither of us had any expectations – other than to at the very least to have a good laugh. We did agree to go in with an open mind, and try to take the whole experience seriously.

The event took place at a vodka bar & lounge. The ambiance was very nice and relaxing. We signed in, were each given a name tag with a specific number and a score card sheet. The first half an hour or so was just waiting around for the other 10-15 guys and girls to get there… we were one of the first few. It was painfully awkward waiting around to start, so I went up to the bar to get a drink, and as I returned back to the couch — I noticed a cute guy sitting there. We smiled at each other.

Him: “Hi – you look very familiar.”

Me: “Actually.. you as well.”

Him: “Have we been talking on JSwipe?”

I was so shocked… I knew I recognized him from somewhere. We had matched several times on more than one app and for some reason or another our conversation never led to meeting up. Anyway it was almost meant to be I thought, that both of us had signed up for this event!

Another guy had started talking to my friend – so I wasted no time getting to know JSwipe guy even more – and we pretty much had a 15 minute head start on our 5 minute speed date. He seemed quite normal and mature, and we had a bit in common. He said to me I looked a lot better in person than on the app… which I thought to take as a compliment, but also just goes to show that sometimes the pictures you post don’t always do you complete justice.

We pretty much told each other we were marking a ‘yes’ next to both of our names. It was a great start to the evening! Unfortunately, it only went downhill after that…

Kevin the line cook was one of my favourites – for all the wrong reasons. Mainly for entertainment. He jumped right into telling me that he was ‘a masochist who enjoyed getting hurt’… pointing out all the burn marks and scars down his arm. It only got better from there. When I asked him to tell me something random about himself, he said that he considered cherries to be very unsexy.

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When I asked why – he told me because he didn’t like the shape (red flag #1… thought to myself: So do you prefer the shape of a banana?) and he said also because they lower your sex drive. Who knew about that one? Anyway, with no hesitancy, I marked down ‘no’.

On the topic of food – Kevin the software manager asked me what I thought about Pineapples. Because of course, that’s something I think about on a regular, day-to-day basis.

Me: “They’re pretty sweet. What do you think?”

Kevin: “Delicious. They’re actually known to make everything taste so much better.” Throws in a wink at the end.

Grabbed my score card and marked ‘no’.

Aside from those, most of the conversations I had were pretty dry and I didn’t feel any chemistry, so by the end of the night – there was only one box marked ‘yes’ for the JSwipe guy. I hate to say, but most were quite socially awkward (which is not a bad thing) but they had absolutely no clue how to talk to woman.

Fast forward to 11PM. I’m about to go to sleep and I get a new Bumble alert on my phone. Oh my god… I still had JSwipe guy listed as a match. So for the next hour we continued writing back and forth. So much for waiting two days (at which time I would get an alert from 25dates) to find out if he was interested. Conversation was mostly great, but he was being overly flirty. To the point of saying things like I’m a naughty girl for following him to a speed dating event, and that he noticed I have a really nice bum. I was surprised he was talking this way after our great conversation that night.

I responded asking if he was examining me when I was at the bar. He replied…

“Admittedly I was. A good doctor always has to examine his patients.” (No, he’s not a doctor).

I responded jokingly asking if he had a PhD. He replied…

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to be more thorough next time”.

Anyway — he wants to see me tomorrow evening (3 days after the event). He suggested a movie and wine night at his place, which I think everyone knows what that implies. I wrote saying I would be open to going to see a movie in a theatre and maybe grabbing a drink after. He liked that idea, but after having spoken with my friends about it… I’m feeling like he may just be a playboy looking for a good time. Thinking I may need to be honest about what I’m looking for before meeting up. Thoughts?

More adventures coming your way soon.

P.S. According to Toronto.com’s ‘100 Places to Pickup in Toronto‘ article – speed dating is pretty high up on the list of new ways to meet and mingle with other young professionals. I plan on checking out several of the other venues on this list over the next year, and will try to shift more away from all the online apps. Take a look, you may be inspired.

A Christmas Eve to Remember

Merry Christmas to all my fellow bloggers and readers! Hope you all made it on Santa’s nice list this year…

As I don’t celebrate Christmas, I usually just order in Chinese food and go out to see a movie with friends. However, this year I found out about a Christmas Eve party for Jewish singles at a nightclub downtown, so my friends and I decided to go check it out. I threw on a sexy pair of black leather leggings and halter crop top – and was ready to go meet and mingle!

The party started at 9 – so I figured we’d go an hour later (who goes to a nightclub right when the party starts??) We arrived there for 10:15, walked inside and lo and behold it was virtually empty. There were about 10 people hanging out by the bar, and a group of 5-6 girls on the dance floor swaying their hips to Israeli beats. We wanted to check our coats in, but the security guard told us that the coat check wouldn’t be open for another half hour. So we went over to the bar to get a drink… I had to pay $8 for a vodka cranberry which was ridiculous. At this point – we were feeling like this party may be a complete bust but decided to stick it out for a little while longer to see if more people would trickle in.

Sure enough by 11:30 – crowds of cute singles started making their way into the nightclub. We kicked ourselves for getting there so early – I guess you live and learn.

Everyone headed upstairs to the second level – and it was a completely differently experience than the first floor. It was dark and the DJ was blaring top 100 mixes. Private bottle service sections were set up and there was a huge dance floor with a disco ball hanging in the center with lights flashing from every direction. This was more my scene!

My friends and I grabbed another drink and made our way to the dance floor. We started swaying our hips to J Biebz and Calvin Harris. Swarms of people were dancing around us and eyeing us head to toe. Men started attacking us like vultures from left, right and center.

A pretty tall, attractive looking guy approached me and asked if I wanted to dance. I thought why not, so I wrapped my hands around his neck and his hands automatically went straight to my butt. Oh god… I went with it for a little bit.

“I have to tell you, you have a really sexy body”. I was flattered – but could already tell this guy was just looking to have a good time. “Are you from Toronto, Max?” “No – Montreal. I’m just visiting until the new year”. Red flag #2. He flipped me around and started to full out grind against me and at that point I was ready to get away from this guy.

I gave one of my girlfriends the bulged eye look and she took that as a cue to rescue me. We moved locations and continued dancing.

It was certainly an ego-boost to have so many men approach us and want to dance. I had to pull the boyfriend excuse for a few that were either 4 inches too short or were too drunk to have any sort of conversation.

My eyes were closed and I was letting my body move to the DJ’s beats. I opened my eyes for a second and sure enough saw another guy approaching me. He was tall and had a cute smile. I was a little tipsy at this point and happily accepted a dance with him. He put his hands on my shoulders which was a little awkward (but kind of adorable) and I had to push them down to my waist (clearly, he doesn’t go to the clubs much). We were singing out the lyrics to the songs and swaying our bodies together. From the little ear to ear conversation we had – I learned we were from the same suburban city, he had a full-time job and was a year older than me. Check, check and check!

He offered to buy me a drink which I happily accepted. I can officially cross that off my bucket list. We went back to the dance floor and continued dancing with both of our friends.

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I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the fact that we just found each other really cute but he looked directly at me and went in for a kiss! PDA on the dance floor… another first. It wasn’t very long, but I was a little in seventh heaven.

The clock struck 1AM and I, Cinderella, had to run to make it on the last subway train. Which sucked, because the party was in full gear at that point! I could tell this guy was clearly interested in me, but had yet to ask for my # so I simply wrote his name in my phone and gave it to him. He happily added his number in and I told him I’d text him. He kissed me once more goodnight which was unexpected and then my friends and I quickly grabbed our coats and headed out.

I woke up this morning – and still can’t stop smiling while writing this. Hopefully you all had an equally fun and entertaining Christmas Eve as me.

To be continued with Christmas Eve guy… plus there are a few other contenders on my list right now so I’ll definitely be back with more stories soon.

Elevator Lockdown

Last week, I received an open invitation from Advertising Boy to come over to his apartment to go swimming. I decided to take him up on that offer yesterday…

AB met me at the bus stop early afternoon and as soon as I stepped off, we embraced each other. We entered his building and he proceeded to take us up to the 36th floor. The first thing he did was give me a tour of his place. It was a beautiful apartment – one bedroom, kitchenette, living room and bathroom. He then took us out on his balcony and my jaw dropped. It was the most breathtaking view – you could see the CN Tower, and he overlooked the waterfront where you could see all the boats sailing over the crystal clear water. I could have seriously stared out at that view for hours.

We hung out at his place for about half an hour – passing the time by playing a few rounds of magnetic darts and jamming to some songs on his electric guitar. We then decided to head down to the indoor pool to go for a swim. My goal was to pull my hair up in a cute, messy bun so it wouldn’t look like a scary mess later on in the day. So I got to the change room, grabbed my one hair elastic, pulled my hair up high – and all of a sudden … it snaps. Shit! I had a minor freak out session but after a few deep breaths I took it as a sign that I should just let it go au natural.

He looked pretty damn good in a pair of swim trunks, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. We were the only ones in the pool area. AB dove right into the pool and the water glistened off his beautifully tanned skin. I took the safer route and entered by the steps. The water was beautiful. I slowly started swimming my way over to him. When we reached each other I held onto him and just as we were getting comfortable we heard the doors open to one of the change rooms. A family of 4 walked in with 2 young kids. SHIT! What a mood kill. I wanted my first kiss with him to happen then and there, and knew that wasn’t going to be. AB also seemed disappointed. Still, that didn’t stop us from having fun. There were lots of splashes and harmless play for a good fifteen minutes. Then we made our way over to the hot tub. That’s when things got a bit more steamy. We held hands and our feet were interlocked. I lay my head on his shoulder. The heat alongside his touch was perfect, and I gazed up at him thinking there could only be one thing to make that moment even better. We looked right at each other, but knew that as long as those kids were there, we couldn’t do anything. Those darn kids! About ten minutes later, AB suggested we see if the outdoor hot tub was free. We made our way over there and were sad to see that it was already full. I suggested we head back up to his room, get changed – go to a carnival that was going on close by and then maybe go for a late night swim. He liked that idea.

AB took us towards the elevator and we were both still dripping with water from the pool. Our clothes were drenched and I could tell my hair was already turning into a frizz ball. We walked into the elevator and it was just us… finally. As soon as the doors closed we looked up at each other, he pulled me close to him and gave me a passionate kiss. That lasted a good 8 floors long. Then we had to wait for another elevator. Got in, doors closed – round 2! I was enjoying this game a lot.

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We arrived on the 36th floor and as soon as we got into his apartment and the door shut behind us we pounced on each other. After we made out for a bit longer, he asked if I wanted to move into his bedroom. My body wanted to say yes… but my head urged me to slow down. I was nervous to rush into anything too quickly – especially since we worked together. I was mainly afraid of getting my heart broken so soon and having to face this man every day afterwards… and it was only our second real date. He agreed to go at a pace I was comfortable with.

We ate some pizza for dinner and then proceeded to the carnival. He had his arm around me as we walked over and I was happy to see he was so comfortable with kissing in public. When we got through the gates, he took me by the hand and led me through the massive crowds of people. AB won a Tweety bird prize for me at one of the carnival games, which was very sweet. We then went on the Ferris Wheel. It was actually my first time on a Ferris Wheel – and I’m not a big fan of heights, but being with him made me feel safe and I really enjoyed it. AB then convinced me to go on a crazy ride – this large boat that swings back and forth like a metronome, high up in the air. I am not a rides girl, so going on it was a big deal for me. Even though my stomach felt like it was dropping every time we plunged downwards, I loved the rush, squeezing his arm while I screamed at the top of my lungs. Hearing his laugh next to me warmed my heart.

Around 8:30pm we walked back over to his place so I could grab my swim bag to take back home. When we arrived, both of us were pretty tired so we sat on the couch, kissed some more, and lay in each others arms for half an hour. We were so comfortable and I could have easily fallen asleep. However, I managed to pull myself up and he proceeded to walk me back to the bus stop.

As the bus arrived, we shared a passionate kiss goodnight.

Some breaking news: on this, the day after, I just got off the phone with AB – who shared that he had been let go from the place at which we both work(ed). I didn’t know who to be more sorry for. Him for being let go, or me – at the idea that I wouldn’t see his gorgeous smile everyday. Maybe, however, this is a blessing in disguise. What do you think?

Catfish Detective

Having been part of the online dating world for several years now – it still never ceases to amaze me how I can get fooled by men claiming in their profiles to be someone that they clearly aren’t.


Just over a week ago I stumbled across Aaron’s profile on PlentyofFish. He had about 6 pictures (all seemingly normal of a 24 year old guy) and claimed he was an investment banker living in Toronto. His profile stated he also had a Yacht called “the Anna Maria” which he liked to take out and sail over Lake Ontario. Okay — so that should have been an immediate red flag.. but I was still curious to learn more about who this guy was. Maybe he just came from a wealthy family and was fortunate to have luxuries in his life like that.

I messaged him asking whereabouts he worked in Toronto. Never got a response…

Fast forward to today and I receive a message back from him.

Hey. Yeah I work as an investment banker in the financial district. Whereabouts do you work? Would you be interested in meeting up over your lunch break tomorrow?

I was caught off guard with his mention of meeting up so soon. We had no back and forth communication whatsoever. I thought it was a bit odd – although at the same time refreshing to hear he wanted to meet in person to learn more about me versus having a long winded dialogue over PoF or text.

When I got home – I decided to put on my Nev and Max cap (for those of you who don’t know who they are, learn about their TV show Catfish here). I thought to pull some of Aaron’s profile pictures onto my desktop and drag them into Google Images. The first image I dropped in to my surprise WAS A HIT! It was the exact same picture as a guy on LinkedIn (with a different name) who had 500+ connections, went to a University in Kingston but currently lived in California – and worked as an engineer. Had no trace of banking anywhere on his professional page.

I gave myself a pat on the back for taking some time tonight to investigate – especially before I gave away any more information about myself. I immediately reported Aaron’s profile on PoF and provided the LinkedIn page for the moderators to see. Surely within minutes, his profile was deleted!

For those of you who are also currently online searching for love – don’t rush into meeting up with the guy/girl you’re talking to. Make sure to do enough basic research beforehand. Enough that you can be almost 100% sure that the person you are meeting up with is being true to who they say they are. I always try and speak on the phone before meeting up in person – I would strongly encourage you to do the same. Another tip that’s worked for me is to find out what school they went to / what program they were in. That way you can do a basic Facebook search to try and uncover a bit more about them and make sure what they’re telling you is the truth.

P.S. If you’re wondering – Advertising Boy and I are still talking almost every day. I’m still exploring the online scene as I’m not sure if it will turn into anything with AB just yet. We’re making plans to go out again shortly.. so definitely staying optimistic!

Florida Sunshine Cleanse

After my date with LinkedIn boy last month – I was hesitant as to whether or not I should see him again. I was afraid that the more intimate we got… the more attached I’d get. After giving it some deep thought over the next few days and taking into account all of your insightful feedback, my final decision was to go with the flow, and if he were to ask me out – I would see him again. I’d go with what I felt comfortable with, even if it slightly tampered with my heart.

A few more casual, flirtatious text messages were sent back and forth the week following our date, but after that I never heard from him again. Unless you count the dozens of email notifications I received whenever he went live on his gaming website. Needless to say – I’ve now unsubscribed from those email alerts, at the same time unsubscribing from the fantasy of any future between the two of us.

Since then I’ve spoken to a few more guys on OKC and Tinder – but majority of them, similarly to LinkedIn boy, were just looking for a ‘Friends with Benefits’ type relationship. Feeling discouraged, I logged off all online accounts and focused more on going out with my friends.

On a positive note, this Canadian suburban girl just got back from a road trip which was a 24+ hour drive each way! I spent over a week right by the ocean and beautiful palm trees. Lying by the pool and beach with the scorching sun washing over me, feeling the mist of the ocean tickling the tip of my toes, sipping a yummy Pina Colada in hand… I felt free. Free from all my boy troubles, stress of finding a full-time job, amongst a list of other things.

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I was very tempted to stay in Florida permanently and continue to soak in the beautifully tanned men. However, reality sunk in the day we departed and before I knew it, I was back in Toronto.

Still, I am happy to be back. I’d highly recommend you take a road trip or spontaneous vacation, even if it’s just for a week – to de-stress and reflect. Being away reminded me how it’s important to go out on adventures and live life to the fullest. I promised myself to do less online scouting for love and more going out with friends and exploring my beautiful city.

The Naughty Aussie

5 days ago I got matched with Drew on Tinder. His bio line said he was an ‘Australian abroad’ so I naturally started the conversation by asking what brought him to Toronto. Drew told me he was visiting friends that he met when they did an exchange in Australia.

Unfortunately by the time we started talking, Drew was already on the last leg of his 2 month trip, and was planning on going back to Australia on January 2nd. He told me he was spending the rest of his time in Ottawa and wouldn’t be back in Toronto. Still, we continued talking, and decided to Snapchat a bit back and forth. He had the most dreamy blue eyes, dark hair, and his smile was perfect (which was only fitting as he is studying to be a dentist).

Let’s fast forward to two days later…

Drew: “I may be able to make it to Toronto for one more night before I fly home if you are interested. It would be New Year’s Day.”

I was surprised he said that and really wasn’t sure how to respond. I just told him to let me know of his plans once he was certain. The next day…

Drew: “I’m going to be in Toronto on the afternoon and night of the 1st of January. If you are around, we could hang out?”

Me: “Whereabouts in Toronto will you stay?”

Drew: “I’ll probably just get a hotel room for the night as I arrive in Toronto around 5:30pm and the next day I need to be at the airport for 9am.”

I knew there was probably no point to meet as he lived half way around the world. The other part of me thought.. it truly could be an amazing love story. When I talked to one of my best friend’s about him, she said:

“It sounds crazy he is leaving but I don’t believe in cookie cutter love stories. You’ll never know what this could end up being! At the very least maybe you’ll make a good friend. Just be clear about boundaries.”

One of my new year’s resolutions is to be more spontaneous, so I thought… what the hell. I made it clear I was not looking to rush into anything, but would be open to grabbing dinner and getting to know one another more.

So yesterday evening we met at a restaurant nearby the hotel he stayed at. Drew met me by the front entrance, and said “hello, nice to meet you” in a thick Australian accent which was very cute. Once we sat down at the table and placed our orders, conversation went very smoothly. He told me about his travels thus far, what Australia was like, and his family back home. We sat there enjoying our dinner and had a few glasses of Sangria. Once we polished off our meals, there was about 1/4 of the Sangria mix left so he poured some into my glass, and then I took it from him and poured the last of it in his glass.

Drew: “Trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me later?”

I playfully smirked. After finishing off the last sip of my glass, I started feeling slightly buzzed. As we started running out of conversation topics, he asked if I wanted to walk over to his hotel to grab another drink there. It was already 10pm and I had to get up at 6am the next morning to go back to work. As I knew I’d be drinking – I was waiting for a ride so was open to spending some more time together.

I agreed to walk back to his hotel – only because all the other local pubs were closed as it was New Years Day. It was freezing – I’d say -25 degrees celcius. Drew offered me his gloves which was very sweet, but I felt bad to take them so he put his arm around me for the walk over. We went directly to the bar near the front lobby and ordered two more drinks. I looked at my watch and realized I was getting picked up in half an hour. We continued bantering back and forth about our lives. However, I could tell he was growing tired of the conversation.. and to be honest so was I. Drew started playing with my bracelet saying how it was pretty.. which led into him saying that I was pretty. I truly did want to kiss him then and there. However, we were surrounded by quite a number of people and I didn’t have enough alcohol in me to kiss in front of all of them.

Drew then started talking about his hotel room upstairs – saying how it was so massive for one person and that he had a king sized bed. I had 5 minutes before getting picked up and so I quickly changed the subject.

Me: “So did you have a nice time tonight?”

Drew: “Yeah. You’re a cool girl. Totally beats spending the night in my hotel room alone. The night’s still young though!”

Shit…

At that point I told him I unfortunately had to leave in the next few minutes as I had to get up very early for work the next day. He seemed pretty disappointed but understood. I proceeded to pay the bill for our drinks as he paid for dinner. At that point he walked with me towards the main lobby. I told him I’d still love to stay in touch and perhaps we would cross paths again if he came back to Toronto or I came to Australia. He said that would be nice. We hugged and parted ways.

As I write this, he is probably half way home – every minute further and further away. I wasn’t going to be intimate with a guy who I may never see again – and I especially didn’t want to be with a guy long term who wanted to hook up on a first date. I felt from all I got to know about him over dinner that we shared more differences than similarities and I couldn’t quite see it playing out into a long-distance relationship – even if we had been more intimate.

He knew I wasn’t looking to hook up. Yes, he may have been hopeful that I would change my mind. You could say I led him on to a certain extent by going back to his hotel after dinner… However, I have no regrets about how the night played out.

Happy new year everyone. Look forward to sharing some more great adventures with you in 2014. Hopefully, this will be a great year!

The Quick and Torrid Love Affair

Two posts in one weekend, just because my latest Tinder match made such an impression that I had to share. The following conversation happened last night.

Charlie: “Ah, you like ‘best vines’ too. We must be soulmates!” (For those of you that don’t know, Vines are short videos, usually 5 to 10 seconds long of compiled clips).

Me: “It’s a sign!”

Charlie: “Hahah yup. When’s the wedding?”

Me: “Tonight. City hall.”

Charlie: “Okay. 8pm sharp.”

Me: “Perfect. I’ll go get the dress now. Do you have a suit ready to go?”

Charlie: “No. I’m not from here so I left my suit at home. :(”

Turns out Charlie was from Halifax, NS and had come into town for the weekend to watch the big NFL game.

Me: “Geesh. You should carry your suit with you everywhere – especially for important times like this.”

Charlie: “Haha. Didn’t know I was gonna meet my dream girl up here!”

Me: “When do you go back to Halifax? Maybe I can convince you to stay longer. After all, we’ll be married as of 8pm so it’s not entirely your choice whether you get to leave. ;)”

Charlie: “Well of course I’m not going to be leaving now! The plan WAS to fly out Monday morning.”

Charlie and I continued this playful marriage banter for the next ten minutes. I learned he was an engineer and loved sports.

Me: “What’s going to happen with your job now that you’re moving to Toronto?”

Charlie: “It’s going to be tough on me. But, love, nothing you can do about that.” (How cute!)

Me: *blush face*

I discovered he was staying with his cousin downtown on the street I worked off of! All joking aside, I was feeling a bit sad that he had to leave Monday morning as I thought he may actually be fun to get to know in person.

We proceeded to add each other on SnapChat, and then started sending a few harmless pictures back and forth. The first picture Charlie sent me was of him holding out his hand. He had drawn a ring inside of it. Of course, I responded with a picture of me grinning, pointing to a similar drawing of a ring on my finger.

I said to him that realistically if our city hall plans didn’t work out for last night, perhaps we could quickly exchange vows Monday morning before I had to go to work. Unfortunately, his plane was taking off at 7am and I knew there was no possible way I could get downtown for 5:30am from the suburbs. I could barely get out of bed for that time. The other option was to meet him tonight, but I already had plans.

He texted me a picture from the NFL game today and we wrote a bit more back and forth. Just moments ago…

Charlie: “Does this mean we are postponing the wedding or you’re gonna go without a bachelorette party?”

Unfortunately for Charlie, as fast and furious as our Tinder relationship went, I really don’t know if it will work with the distance. It’s really too bad he lives so far away. It was a short love affair, but certainly one that I won’t forget.