Speed Dating Adventures: Round 1

Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another. Back in the nineties, speed dating events attracted large diverse crowds. But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled potentially as a result of people primarily finding their partners through apps.

Although it’s not as common anymore (at least for my age group) – the thought of having up to 15 mini-dates seemed very exciting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to experience being ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’ at least once?

My silent prayer was answered when my sweet Jewish mother purchased me 2 speed dating Groupons through 25dates.com as part of my birthday gift. I mean… do you think she was sending me a subtle hint?

So I went online to sign my friend and I up. Neither of us had any expectations – other than to at the very least to have a good laugh. We did agree to go in with an open mind, and try to take the whole experience seriously.

The event took place at a vodka bar & lounge. The ambiance was very nice and relaxing. We signed in, were each given a name tag with a specific number and a score card sheet. The first half an hour or so was just waiting around for the other 10-15 guys and girls to get there… we were one of the first few. It was painfully awkward waiting around to start, so I went up to the bar to get a drink, and as I returned back to the couch — I noticed a cute guy sitting there. We smiled at each other.

Him: “Hi – you look very familiar.”

Me: “Actually.. you as well.”

Him: “Have we been talking on JSwipe?”

I was so shocked… I knew I recognized him from somewhere. We had matched several times on more than one app and for some reason or another our conversation never led to meeting up. Anyway it was almost meant to be I thought, that both of us had signed up for this event!

Another guy had started talking to my friend – so I wasted no time getting to know JSwipe guy even more – and we pretty much had a 15 minute head start on our 5 minute speed date. He seemed quite normal and mature, and we had a bit in common. He said to me I looked a lot better in person than on the app… which I thought to take as a compliment, but also just goes to show that sometimes the pictures you post don’t always do you complete justice.

We pretty much told each other we were marking a ‘yes’ next to both of our names. It was a great start to the evening! Unfortunately, it only went downhill after that…

Kevin the line cook was one of my favourites – for all the wrong reasons. Mainly for entertainment. He jumped right into telling me that he was ‘a masochist who enjoyed getting hurt’… pointing out all the burn marks and scars down his arm. It only got better from there. When I asked him to tell me something random about himself, he said that he considered cherries to be very unsexy.

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When I asked why – he told me because he didn’t like the shape (red flag #1… thought to myself: So do you prefer the shape of a banana?) and he said also because they lower your sex drive. Who knew about that one? Anyway, with no hesitancy, I marked down ‘no’.

On the topic of food – Kevin the software manager asked me what I thought about Pineapples. Because of course, that’s something I think about on a regular, day-to-day basis.

Me: “They’re pretty sweet. What do you think?”

Kevin: “Delicious. They’re actually known to make everything taste so much better.” Throws in a wink at the end.

Grabbed my score card and marked ‘no’.

Aside from those, most of the conversations I had were pretty dry and I didn’t feel any chemistry, so by the end of the night – there was only one box marked ‘yes’ for the JSwipe guy. I hate to say, but most were quite socially awkward (which is not a bad thing) but they had absolutely no clue how to talk to woman.

Fast forward to 11PM. I’m about to go to sleep and I get a new Bumble alert on my phone. Oh my god… I still had JSwipe guy listed as a match. So for the next hour we continued writing back and forth. So much for waiting two days (at which time I would get an alert from 25dates) to find out if he was interested. Conversation was mostly great, but he was being overly flirty. To the point of saying things like I’m a naughty girl for following him to a speed dating event, and that he noticed I have a really nice bum. I was surprised he was talking this way after our great conversation that night.

I responded asking if he was examining me when I was at the bar. He replied…

“Admittedly I was. A good doctor always has to examine his patients.” (No, he’s not a doctor).

I responded jokingly asking if he had a PhD. He replied…

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to be more thorough next time”.

Anyway — he wants to see me tomorrow evening (3 days after the event). He suggested a movie and wine night at his place, which I think everyone knows what that implies. I wrote saying I would be open to going to see a movie in a theatre and maybe grabbing a drink after. He liked that idea, but after having spoken with my friends about it… I’m feeling like he may just be a playboy looking for a good time. Thinking I may need to be honest about what I’m looking for before meeting up. Thoughts?

More adventures coming your way soon.

P.S. According to Toronto.com’s ‘100 Places to Pickup in Toronto‘ article – speed dating is pretty high up on the list of new ways to meet and mingle with other young professionals. I plan on checking out several of the other venues on this list over the next year, and will try to shift more away from all the online apps. Take a look, you may be inspired.

Real Estate Guy: Part 2

I recently got back from The Bahamas – which was the perfect remedy for escaping the cold Canadian Winter. I’d give anything to be back on the beach with a rum punch in my hand, while getting cat called by the Bahamian men…

In the midst of all the last minute packing and finalizing work projects, I forgot to provide everyone with an update on Real Estate Guy (who I talked about in my last post here).

I ended up driving over to his brother’s birthday party around 11PM and REG greeted me at the doorway. I could see the party was already in full gear; there were at least 20-30 people on the main floor. Some were playing beer pong, and others were busy putting together the final touches on his brothers birthday cake. He took me around and introduced me to all his friends – including his roommates and his brothers girlfriends. Everyone was very friendly! I was overall feeling very comfortable with the setting and surprisingly didn’t feel too overwhelmed by the number of people.

After about an hour – we went downstairs to the basement, and there I discovered another large group of people – who I found out were his brothers friends. When he introduced me to his brother – we gave each other a friendly hello, and that was it. I was so relieved his brother didn’t mention anything about us going on a date years ago…

Later on REG gave me a tour of his place – we laughed over all his embarrassing childhood photos on the walls. The tour ended in his old bedroom. It was definitely your typical boys room – with playboy model posters on the wall and all his sports trophies lined up on his chest of drawers. We lay down on his bed and stared into each others eyes. He just couldn’t stop smiling as he stared at me and I couldn’t help but giggle. He kept asking, “what’s so funny?” and I kept saying… “nothing, you’re just a really sweet guy”.

We started kissing and… I could feel something wasn’t right. I wasn’t feeling any sort of spark or excitement when he kissed me. I thought to myself — it’s probably just the setting. It wasn’t very romantic – and I felt a bit uncomfortable being there for too long while his friends were still downstairs. So I cut the kissing and cuddling session short, and we went downstairs to join his friends for a bit longer. At 3AM he walked me to the door, we kissed goodnight and with that I left.

We saw each other again last Sunday. The evening started with dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant. It was our third date and I thought conversation would maybe get a bit deeper. I was still unsure about where him and his ex stood (as 2/3 of his Facebook photos were of him and her). However, it just stayed surface level. Afterwards we went to see a movie at a theater nearby. About half way in he reached to hold my hand. I did feel something when he held my hand – which I thought was a good sign.

When the movie ended, he drove me home. I thanked him for a really nice evening. He told me I should come back to his place the following weekend for a hot tub and wine date and I nodded saying we’d speak more about it later. He then leaned in again and kissed me. I tried to completely relax and clear my head, and be in the moment. I closed me eyes and as we were kissing, but I still felt nothing. I felt… awful.

Perhaps part of me wished he had a bit of a play hard to get / bad side. I know I need someone who is sweet and sincere, but I crave that element of mystery and danger. Passion and chemistry are things you need to build in a relationship, and if I wasn’t feeling anything by date 3, I didn’t feel it would be fair to lead him on any further. It’s been almost a week since our date, and neither of us haven’t written to the other.

Another blogger I follow suggested you should wait at least a week in between dates when you first start seeing someone. I feel like there is something to that. Maybe it was too much too soon, and that was part of what turned me off. What are your thoughts on this?

So here I am again, back to square 1. Months away from reaching a quarter of a century, and trying to stay as optimistic as possible that my prince charming is out there somewhere. I still have a lot of adventures planned for the rest of this year, so I have faith that he is out there!

Mazel Tov – It’s a Match!

Even though I promised myself as a New Years Resolution to pull back from online dating  – I was enticed to download a new dating app similar to Tinder, but for Jewish Singles. Religion has never been a big factor for me with guys I’ve dated in the past – but I personally feel there are sometimes more things to share in common / talk about with someone from the same religious background.

About a month ago I got matched with Ryan – a cute Jewish single who lived in the same neighborhood as myself. I learned he studied engineering in California and had recently moved back to the city. His pictures were stunning – brown hair, blueish-green eyes AND dimples. I prayed he wasn’t catfishing me. Ryan asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee – so I picked a local spot and we met just over a week ago.

I had a huge sigh of relief when I first spotted him – he was just as cute as in his pictures. Also – quite tall (which is always a bonus, since I’m taller than average height for a girl). We met around 8PM and he ordered us both a drink. Conversation went very smoothly – I could tell he was a very go-with-the-flow, laid back guy and we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things. I liked that we shared similar family values (both coming from large families), and he was also a big traveler – like myself. The coffee shop was closing at 11PM so we got kicked out – although both of us would have easily stayed for at least another hour. Which is surprising for me… since I usually hate coffee dates (find it very uncomfortable sitting face to face talking – without doing anything). With him I could be myself – which is so important to feel.

Ryan walked me to my car, and we hugged each other goodnight. The next day he texted me saying he had a fun night, and would love to do it again sometime! I grinned from ear to ear – but didn’t get too excited, as my last Tinder date ended the same way – only for the guy to never follow up for the second date…

Thankfully Ryan was different and planned for us to go see a movie and grab dessert last night. He picked me up for 7:30PM, and drove us to a nearby theatre. He was a great driver – which put me at ease. We went to see a psycho thriller movie called ‘The Boy Next Door’ starring Jennifer Lopez… which to tell you the truth, is not really worth paying the money for. However, there were still moments that made me jump, so I squeezed his arm a few times… which were pretty built ;). We inched closer and closer together, and I dangled my left arm on my leg – hoping he’d reach out for it. Sure enough after about the third arm squeeze he interlocked his fingers with mine and I held onto his arm for the last 1/4 of the movie. Mission accomplished.

After the movie we went to a nearby restaurant. He ordered a beer and I got us the most incredible dessert to share – cheesecake wrapped in a soft tortilla shell drizzled with caramel (which was heavenly). Our table also had kraft paper / crayons for us to draw and release our inner child play. We played some games of hang man, puzzles, and he even challenged me to a game of thumb wars – which took me back to Grade 7. Then we got into a game of 2 truths and a lie, which is a perfect way to learn interesting and personal bits of information about your date.

Ryan had been a gentleman all evening. He purchased our movie tickets, and let me pick whatever I wanted off the menu at the restaurant. He complimented me on my brown eyes, and even told me he thought my braces were cute. I mean – they are hardly cute in my opinion, but I still thought it was sweet of him to say that. Nice to know that chivalry isn’t dead!

The restaurant was closing at 12 and so we left at quarter to. It was absolutely freezing outside, so I latched onto him for warmth as we walked over to his car. We made it back to my house around midnight and he parked outside. This is the moment that usually gets my stomach turning upside down – over thinking whether to go in for the kiss or not. Thankfully he made things easy for me by leaning over, softly placing his hands over my cheeks and embracing me in a passionate kiss. Oh boy – was he a good kisser… It only lasted for about 5 minutes – but I felt like that was the perfect length of time for a second date.

When we leaned away from each other – he said to me “until next time”. Let’s hope that means a third date will be on the horizon! 2015 is definitely off to a good start.

Sinking the Balls

Six weeks post-surgery and I’m finally back in the dating game!

Almost a year ago, I got matched with Mathew on Tinder. We messaged each other back and forth for a few weeks and I seem to recall we had tried making plans to meet up, but for some reason or another the timing just didn’t work out. He was finishing up his business program and was off to Argentina to spend his final co-op semester there. We decided to stay connected over Facebook with the possibility of meeting when he returned – but our conversation simply faded away when he left.

Fast forward to two weeks following my operation. AB and I started talking less and less. He never came to visit me which was disappointing and my intuition was telling me to move on. Being housebound, I decided to get cozy on my couch and begin to update my dating profiles with new pictures (I look like a totally different person now!) I began to start my search into the new crop of men that had entered the world of online dating.

Sure enough, at the top of my search list on PofF – appeared Mathew! I had almost forgotten about him. His profile said he was back in town, looking for a relationship, and still lived in my neighbourhood. I decided there was no harm in sending him a private Facebook message to see how he was doing.

He responded, and again, we started writing back and forth. We caught up a bit on both of our lives – and I explained to him about my jaw surgery which he seemed really interested in. About a week into our conversation – I asked if he’d still be open to meeting up for drinks. He said yes! I agreed for him to pick me up at 8:30PM last night and we’d go to a local pub to play some pool and have a drink. Not that I usually advocate having someone you’ve never met before pick you up on a first date – but I thought this guy was harmless and that it was unlikely he’d kidnap me.

He arrived right at 8:30PM. My stomach churned with nerves but mostly excitement. As I entered his car, he said hello in a deep, sexy voice and I immediately melted. He was gorgeous and smelt divine. Mathew pulled out the GPS on his phone to locate the closest pubs and once we settled on one – away we went. Despite my minor recovery lisp – we managed to have a really great car ride conversation – talking about our family, and places we’ve traveled to.

We arrived at the pub and when we began walking towards the entrance, I noticed he was very tall – probably 6’1! No faults so far…

The pub wasn’t huge but there was a private area in the centre with a pool table and a few tables and chairs. Nobody was there so we joked about how he had reserved the section just for us. We placed our coats down and went to the bar to order drinks. This was my first drink post-surgery, and it was amazing! It was nice to finally drink something besides ensure shakes and apple juice…

We placed our drinks down and started playing a game of pool. We flat out admitted at the beginning we were both horrible at pool – but would still give it our best go. Now I’m not sure if it was the few sips of alcohol in me or my new found confidence, but I was sinking those balls in one after the next. ;) Poor Mathew wasn’t having as easy a time, and told me I must have been lying and that I’ve been playing this game all my life. He seemed quite impressed. When I got 3 in a row, he said, “well done” and put his hand out to shake mine but I playfully said “no, I think that deserves a hug!” Seriously – am I the same person?! He opened his arms and embraced me in a warm hug which I could have easily held onto the rest of the night.

I ended up winning and gave myself a little pat on the back. We then sunk the remaining balls and sat down at our table where the drinks were. We opened up so much to one another – which I thought was incredible for a first date! He asked to see before and after pictures of my surgery which I was a bit hesitant to show, but I agreed to it and he was blown away. He really didn’t think it was the same person. Surely – it was! I loved how interested he was in my life, my stories and my surgery. He in turn was so open with me about his life – his family, childhood and even surgeries he had gone through. Most importantly – we bonded over our love for word games and N64. We both play an addicting phone app called Words with Friends (kind of like a virtual game of Scrabble which I highly recommend everyone play!)

It was 11PM and I knew we should probably head back soon as we had work the next day. Mathew also had to get up early but kept saying, “whatever you want, I’m cool to stay until whenever” – it was exciting that he wasn’t the one to mention having to leave. That he genuinely wanted to spend more time with me. As the night went on, it got busier and another group of people started playing pool. I could tell there were a few girls staring over at us and I kept thinking – how lucky am I to be with this incredible, gorgeous guy. Truly… I have no clue why he’s still single but I didn’t want to bring that up on a first date.

Anyway – I made the decision for us to leave at 11:15PM. We got into his car and blasted the heater (it’s freezing in Toronto so it was nice to get cozy). He drove us back to my house and parked the car. Ugh… the moment – will he kiss me? I damn well wanted to kiss him! However, I can’t feel my bottom lip… literally. I’m still numb and was kind of curious to see what I could and couldn’t feel in a kiss after 6 weeks.

Unfortunately I didn’t get a kiss. However, the first thing he said when we parked was that he had a great time and would love to see me again – even suggesting we go see a movie next week. I was over the moon excited, but stayed cool and responded with, “I’d love that.” He hugged me goodnight and I told him to drive home safe. I got in, ran to my room – stared at myself in the mirror and smiled. I smiled because I was staring at a girl that was more confident, and gleaming from head to toe. A girl who finally felt happy in her own skin. This was the first date where I didn’t end it thinking, “I wonder if he liked me?” To have such a successful first date after being out of the dating game for almost two months – was incredible.

So now we wait. I hate the “game” so much – but unfortunately you have to play a bit hard to get at the beginning! The hook is there, now just have to reel him in. I’ve decided I’ll wait for Mathew to write to me – but if he hasn’t reached out by Sunday I may shoot him a casual message. Unless you can think of a better post-first-date strategy to lock down Date #2?

Rejection

Adam (the guy I had gone on two dates with from Tinder) sent me a text message around 5:30PM saying “Can I quickly give you a shout?” I received it at one of the above ground stations while traveling home on the subway. My heart immediately sunk… knowing it was probably not something good to share. I had seven stops to go and each stop kept feeling like light years to get to. My mouth was getting dry and my heart wouldn’t stop racing.

I arrived at my station and got on the bus. It was full and everyone was quiet as a mouse. I knew there was no way I was going to talk to him while on the road, at the risk of breaking down in front of everyone. I texted Adam back saying I was on the bus and asked if I could call him back in fifteen minutes. He said, “Sure. Not a problem.”

My mouth was completely dry when I got off the bus. I started walking slowly towards my street and pulled up his number on my phone. I took a deep breath and pressed the dial button.

Adam: “Hey. How’s it going?”

“Hey! Pretty good. Had a long day at work. How about you?”

Back and forth casual banter went on for about a minute…

Adam: “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I’ve had a really nice time going out and getting to know you. However, I don’t really see it going any further.”

He proceeded to tell me (as I had a feeling) that he only felt a friendly vibe.

I told him I respected the fact that he called to tell me that over the phone (which sadly made me like him that much more). I said I had a really nice time getting to know him as well. I tried fighting for him a bit… saying that I’ve found in the past that sometimes friendships can grow into something great… but no budge. He was giving one word responses and I knew it was over. There was no point to fight anymore as it was clear he had made a decision.

He rejected me… and it’s a horrible pill to swallow. I fell hard, and it had only been two dates. He was everything I was looking for on my check list – ambitious, good looking, family oriented, same values – the list goes on.

I was two minutes away from home and saw my mom outside by the garage. I ran to her and started sobbing in her arms – mascara was running down my cheeks and my throat stung. She comforted me for a few minutes and then I proceeded inside, ran up to my room and sobbed more into my pillow. I was sore all over and felt drained from crying so hard. I had a pretty horrible day at work as well, so I think the reason I was so upset was really a culmination of thoughts that had been piling up inside that needed to be released.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he get back together with his ex? Did he meet someone else? I always jump to assume it’s me – but who knows what it could have been.

I just checked Tinder and Adam was active 4 hours ago.

I’ve calmed down now but it’s still a bit surreal. I’m supposed to go out with AB tomorrow – so will try and clear my head and enjoy my time with him.

Deal or No Deal

My aunt and mom were in the living room with me when I unexpectedly heard a knock on the door.

I was waiting anxiously to receive a text from Adam (my Tinder man) to say that he was outside. The plan was for him to pick me up at 2:30PM. I looked at the clock on my TV system and sure enough it was 2:30PM on the dot. My mom jumped up and squealed “It’s him, it must be him!” I told her to calm down and not to move anywhere but of course there was no stopping her from leaping towards our window to spy on whoever was at the door. I coolly walked towards the front door, opened it and sure enough Adam was standing there. I invited him into the front entrance and we hugged hello. Guys – take note: a guy picking a girl up at her front door is very sexy and scores major points (at least in my books). I was thinking to myself… what a gentleman! Also, it’s so refreshing for a guy to do that versus just sending a text from the car. I introduced him to my aunt and my mom. He shook my moms hand hello and I think by that point my cheeks had gone bright red. I pulled him by the arm and said, “Okay, let’s go!”

He drove us to a local spot where we could play all different arcade games. When we arrived, I saw there was a glow in the dark mini putt right next door and let out my high-school squeal. I asked if he wanted to go play a round before going to play the arcade games. He seemed into the idea, so we headed over. Adam paid for the game – even though I offered. We walked inside and it took awhile for my eyes to get adjusted to the dark / see his beautiful, 6’4 stature clearly. We alternated taking turns, playfully distracting one another and high-fiving each other when one of us got close to a hole-in-one. We were probably the oldest there, but that didn’t stop us from having a great time.

After mini putt, we headed over to the arcade room. We played game after game – from Wheel of Fortune to Deal or No Deal to Triple 7s. Then we got into the more physical games like air hockey, basketball, football and several of the driving ones. I couldn’t believe how much of a workout those games could be!

$60 later we scored about 650 tickets which bought us a Pink Elephant (which we could have probably got at the dollar store), which we named Dumbo (appropriate) and 2 bouncy balls. Yes, a complete and utter rip off, but we still both seemed to have a really fun time.

After 3 hours together, he drove me home as he had another commitment later in the evening as did I (although I would have loved to spend more time with him). He parked outside my house and I started getting all fidgety with nerves. Do I kiss him? Is he into me the same way I’m into him? I told him I had a really nice time and he agreed. He put his arm out for a hug and so I leaned in – I was close to moving my lips towards his but my nerves got the best of me and instead I just went for the hug. I was kicking myself as soon as I stepped in my house for not going for it… but I thought to myself – there’s always next time.

He did ask me what I was up to next week and I suggested we go to a comedy show (I have a number of free tickets given to me as a birthday gift). Yes – I’m turning 23 on Tuesday! He told me he’d let me know so crossing my fingers it works out and I’ll get to see him again, presuming he’s still into me!

Poor AB… he’s been writing asking to see me again – and I can’t decide what to do. Perhaps I should go out with both of them again this week and by the end of the week decide which one to focus on. Ultimately I have to follow my heart… I know that. I’d feel guilty at this point to lead AB on any further if I continued dating Adam.

Conflicted

Adam and I got matched on Tinder at the time I started getting to know AB. We had four mutual friends and lived fairly close to one another. I learned he worked in the financial industry downtown Toronto, his family lived up North (near where I live) and we were both Big Brother fans.

Adam and I tried meeting up, but unfortunately it didn’t work out. We had little opportunity to plan for any other day as he was leaving on a work trip for several weeks. We decided to add each other on Facebook and get in touch when he was home. As I got to know AB more – I started wondering if Adam would write to me when he got back and if he did, if I’d even want to meet up with him.

Sure enough – about a week ago, Adam reached out to me saying he was back in town and he asked if I still wanted to meet for drinks. I was torn, because although I think AB is a very nice and caring guy, I didn’t want to close this door since I had felt that Adam and I would be quite compatible when we first connected. We made plans to go to a pool hall / bar downtown yesterday evening. We met at 7:30 – he was already waiting outside. I approached him and boy was he tall… I learned he was 6’4! He smiled, said hello and put his hand out to shake mine but instead I went in for a hug. We proceeded upstairs to the bar and pool table area. He got drinks for both of us – I got a comso and he got a beer. We sat down at a nearby table. I was living vicariously as he talked about his tales of adventure – getting to swim with sharks and sea lions. After about twenty minutes, we went over to a pool table and got a game going. There were certainly flirtatious vibes in the air. We were both equally horrible at the beginning – neither of us able to sink a ball, but the more alcohol we consumed, the better our shots seemed to get.

I learned we had fairly similar taste in music. I asked Adam what the most recent concert was that he went to and my jaw almost dropped to the floor when he said, “I don’t know if this classifies as a traditional concert, but I went to a taped Bryan Adams event recently”. The exact same concert I had gone to with AB. We could have been rows apart from each other. I mean, what are the chances? We kept taking our turns at pool, and we seemed so completely relaxed in each others presence. I learned we had gone to the same camp when we were younger, he used to work as a lifeguard a mere five minutes from my house and that he too is very close with his family.

After we finished our game of pool – we sat back down and talked for another 45 minutes. He was tall, dark and handsome – and had the sweetest smile and eyes. I could have looked into them all night but alas the night had to come to an end as I had to get up for work early this morning. At around 11 he walked me to the subway station where we said goodnight and he told me he’d be in touch.

The subway ride home was a tough one for me. I was going back and forth in my head between AB and Adam. I definitely connected more with Adam from the get go, whereas it took a bit longer for AB and I to find common ground. Adam and I are also from the same religious background – so it was nice to relate on that level. I also like that Adam and I have mutual friends and he is familiar with my neighbourhood.

However, then I reflected on my relationship with AB who has to this day been so caring towards me and seems really into me. However, I just don’t know if I would have even agreed to meet up with Adam if I was completely convinced that AB and I were meant to be together.

How much of a role do you think religious and cultural backgrounds play when developing a relationship with someone? I feel conflicted because I don’t want to lead AB on any further if I start to see Adam, but I’m afraid of letting him go completely. Do you think I’m being unfaithful by dating two guys at one time if neither relationship has been identified as exclusive?