When the Parents are Out

Ryan and I had been flirtatiously texting back and forth since our dinner and movie date. In fact – the following day, he wrote “ya… it probably won’t be good for you to wait another eight days to see me again like before”.

I knew the upcoming week would be crazy for me at work. So I suggested he come over for dinner on Saturday, as my parents were going out for the evening. He was all for it so plans were locked in.

Throughout the week I created a ‘sexy evening playlist’. Knowing that Ryan was potentially coming up to my room, I had to spend some serious time creating it in order to set the mood. 2.5 hours later – I was quite satisfied with the list. Here are a few songs that are great to take note of:

Earned It AND What You Need – The Weeknd. Thinking About You – Frank Ocean. Hold On We’re Going Home – Drake. Crave You [Adventure Club Dubstep Remix] – Flight Facilities. Love Me Again – John Newman. Anything Sam Smith. Anything John Legend. (If I missed any essentials – please share them!)

Saturday arrived and I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. After thoroughly examining the groceries in my fridge, I settled on making Chicken Parmesan, beans and pasta. Simple enough! I cleaned up my room and threw the majority of teddy bears in my bed drawer. Added some gloss to my lips and spritzed some perfume.

Ryan arrived at 7:30 looking handsome as ever. We proceeded into the kitchen and he seemed quite impressed with how I laid the table and the display of food. I was quite proud of myself – considering I’m not the best cook in the world. We enjoyed each others company over dinner – although I knew in the back of our minds we were both wanting to finish quickly so we could get past the awkward sexual tension.

After cleaning up, I offered to give him a tour of my house – which he happily agreed to.

We walked upstairs. “So here’s my washroom… oh and this is my bedroom”.

Ryan started walking around examining the certificates on my walls and then came across the guitar in the corner of my room. I picked it up and asked for him to play me something. Without using a pick – he started strumming and played beautiful melodies… which were quite mesmerizing. I asked for him to teach me some strumming patterns. So he wrapped his one arm around me and maneuvered my fingers over the strings, and as much as I was trying to pay attention, it was hard with his lips so close to me.

I tried strumming – but the sound wasn’t right. He proceeded to say – “if you don’t get it right the next time you try, I should get a kiss”. After he said that, I damn well wasn’t even going to try to make it sound right. After an unsuccessful second attempt, I placed the guitar down, turned on my playlist and dimmed the lights. I sat back down on my bed next to him.

“So about that kiss…”

As we were making out quite heavily – he noticed something in the corner of his eye. My cat had walked in and was giving him the evil eye, as if protecting me from this intruder. We continued kissing but he couldn’t stop laughing at the awkwardness of having my cat watching so attentively. So I grudgingly got up, placed her out of my room, shut the door, and the focus was back on me.

Almost 3 hours later I get a phone call from my younger sister saying she was on her way home from a friends party. I told him he was welcome to stay to meet her – so we hustled to get back to a presentable state and went downstairs. The meet and greet was very short. They simply said “hi, nice to meet to you” to one another, and then as any typical teenager would – she ran up to her room. Ryan and I made some waffles and ice cream and finished off the night by watching Saturday Night Live with his arm wrapped around me. He left at 12 – as I knew my parents were heading back around 12:30.

Being around him felt so comfortable. He’s sweet, respectful and a complete gentleman.

Ryan told me he’s mentioned me to his mom – so I’m thinking that’s a good sign. My family knows about him too. So am I off the market yet? I don’t know… I think I need a few more dates to evaluate. At the very least… I’m definitely thinking I will have a special Valentines this year.

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Rejection

Adam (the guy I had gone on two dates with from Tinder) sent me a text message around 5:30PM saying “Can I quickly give you a shout?” I received it at one of the above ground stations while traveling home on the subway. My heart immediately sunk… knowing it was probably not something good to share. I had seven stops to go and each stop kept feeling like light years to get to. My mouth was getting dry and my heart wouldn’t stop racing.

I arrived at my station and got on the bus. It was full and everyone was quiet as a mouse. I knew there was no way I was going to talk to him while on the road, at the risk of breaking down in front of everyone. I texted Adam back saying I was on the bus and asked if I could call him back in fifteen minutes. He said, “Sure. Not a problem.”

My mouth was completely dry when I got off the bus. I started walking slowly towards my street and pulled up his number on my phone. I took a deep breath and pressed the dial button.

Adam: “Hey. How’s it going?”

“Hey! Pretty good. Had a long day at work. How about you?”

Back and forth casual banter went on for about a minute…

Adam: “Anyway, I wanted to tell you that I’ve had a really nice time going out and getting to know you. However, I don’t really see it going any further.”

He proceeded to tell me (as I had a feeling) that he only felt a friendly vibe.

I told him I respected the fact that he called to tell me that over the phone (which sadly made me like him that much more). I said I had a really nice time getting to know him as well. I tried fighting for him a bit… saying that I’ve found in the past that sometimes friendships can grow into something great… but no budge. He was giving one word responses and I knew it was over. There was no point to fight anymore as it was clear he had made a decision.

He rejected me… and it’s a horrible pill to swallow. I fell hard, and it had only been two dates. He was everything I was looking for on my check list – ambitious, good looking, family oriented, same values – the list goes on.

I was two minutes away from home and saw my mom outside by the garage. I ran to her and started sobbing in her arms – mascara was running down my cheeks and my throat stung. She comforted me for a few minutes and then I proceeded inside, ran up to my room and sobbed more into my pillow. I was sore all over and felt drained from crying so hard. I had a pretty horrible day at work as well, so I think the reason I was so upset was really a culmination of thoughts that had been piling up inside that needed to be released.

Was he not attracted to me? Did he get back together with his ex? Did he meet someone else? I always jump to assume it’s me – but who knows what it could have been.

I just checked Tinder and Adam was active 4 hours ago.

I’ve calmed down now but it’s still a bit surreal. I’m supposed to go out with AB tomorrow – so will try and clear my head and enjoy my time with him.

Deal or No Deal

My aunt and mom were in the living room with me when I unexpectedly heard a knock on the door.

I was waiting anxiously to receive a text from Adam (my Tinder man) to say that he was outside. The plan was for him to pick me up at 2:30PM. I looked at the clock on my TV system and sure enough it was 2:30PM on the dot. My mom jumped up and squealed “It’s him, it must be him!” I told her to calm down and not to move anywhere but of course there was no stopping her from leaping towards our window to spy on whoever was at the door. I coolly walked towards the front door, opened it and sure enough Adam was standing there. I invited him into the front entrance and we hugged hello. Guys – take note: a guy picking a girl up at her front door is very sexy and scores major points (at least in my books). I was thinking to myself… what a gentleman! Also, it’s so refreshing for a guy to do that versus just sending a text from the car. I introduced him to my aunt and my mom. He shook my moms hand hello and I think by that point my cheeks had gone bright red. I pulled him by the arm and said, “Okay, let’s go!”

He drove us to a local spot where we could play all different arcade games. When we arrived, I saw there was a glow in the dark mini putt right next door and let out my high-school squeal. I asked if he wanted to go play a round before going to play the arcade games. He seemed into the idea, so we headed over. Adam paid for the game – even though I offered. We walked inside and it took awhile for my eyes to get adjusted to the dark / see his beautiful, 6’4 stature clearly. We alternated taking turns, playfully distracting one another and high-fiving each other when one of us got close to a hole-in-one. We were probably the oldest there, but that didn’t stop us from having a great time.

After mini putt, we headed over to the arcade room. We played game after game – from Wheel of Fortune to Deal or No Deal to Triple 7s. Then we got into the more physical games like air hockey, basketball, football and several of the driving ones. I couldn’t believe how much of a workout those games could be!

$60 later we scored about 650 tickets which bought us a Pink Elephant (which we could have probably got at the dollar store), which we named Dumbo (appropriate) and 2 bouncy balls. Yes, a complete and utter rip off, but we still both seemed to have a really fun time.

After 3 hours together, he drove me home as he had another commitment later in the evening as did I (although I would have loved to spend more time with him). He parked outside my house and I started getting all fidgety with nerves. Do I kiss him? Is he into me the same way I’m into him? I told him I had a really nice time and he agreed. He put his arm out for a hug and so I leaned in – I was close to moving my lips towards his but my nerves got the best of me and instead I just went for the hug. I was kicking myself as soon as I stepped in my house for not going for it… but I thought to myself – there’s always next time.

He did ask me what I was up to next week and I suggested we go to a comedy show (I have a number of free tickets given to me as a birthday gift). Yes – I’m turning 23 on Tuesday! He told me he’d let me know so crossing my fingers it works out and I’ll get to see him again, presuming he’s still into me!

Poor AB… he’s been writing asking to see me again – and I can’t decide what to do. Perhaps I should go out with both of them again this week and by the end of the week decide which one to focus on. Ultimately I have to follow my heart… I know that. I’d feel guilty at this point to lead AB on any further if I continued dating Adam.

Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

Storia D’amore

Over the last few days I’ve been writing back and forth with Joey on OkCupid. I stumbled across his profile and immediately liked what I saw. He was Italian (tall, dark and handsome). Joey proclaimed he was a huge geek when it came to TV shows, video games, board games, the arts — all of which I equally geek out over! To top of it all off he was studying to become a lawyer and spoke fluent Italian (what girl wouldn’t want to have the sexy Italian language whispered into her ear night and day?) Guys, time to pick up a new language!

We decided to meet Tuesday evening to grab dinner / drinks. I was pretty nervous, though excited! The plan was for him to meet me at the subway station close to where I work and from there go find a local pub and perhaps walk around the area afterwards to spot out some celebrities (as the Toronto International Film Festival is going on right now). At 5:30pm I received a text saying “can you call me when you get this?” I immediately braced myself for the worst, and dialed his number. He picked up after a few rings…

Joey: So I hope you don’t find this really weird but I was on the bus over to you and I got a horrible nose bleed. It’s pretty bad. Probably from the humidity outside. I need to go back home to shower / get changed.

Me: That’s horrible! I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to take a rain check on hanging out?

Joey: No, tonight still works! I’m not too far from my house. Can we meet up in half an hour / 45 minutes?

So the new plan was for me to venture further down the subway line (about 10 stops away from where I currently was) to go to a shopping mall which was closer to him. We decided to meet on the subway platform. Pretty romantic spot, right?

I started walking down the platform to spot him. The humidity was dreadful. It’s about 40 degrees Celsius here and I was praying my hair wouldn’t turn into a complete frizz ball by the time I made it to where he was standing. I finally spotted him. I know what you’re thinking and no… we didn’t run into each others arms and share a passionate kiss. However, we did share a really nice hug hello. We walked into the shopping mall which was connected to the subway and instantly started cooling down.

Joey was just as cute as how he appeared in his pictures. Conversation started off slowly until we parked ourselves down inside a Pickle Barrel restaurant. We ordered food and conversation picked up — we talked about everything from our travels to family to our pets.

We shared a Caesar salad. Of course I had to order the spaghetti and meatballs (classic Italian dish). He ordered a curry dish, and shared a bit of my pasta as it was very filling (unfortunately there was no Lady and the Tramp moment).

We finished dinner around 8:30pm and he suggested we go see a movie, as there was a theater inside the same mall. I definitely wanted to continue our date so we paid the bill and headed over to the theater. The earliest time the next movie played was an hour later, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do as I knew the movie probably wouldn’t end til around 11pm and I would still need to subway back home to the suburbs. Joey said it was totally up to me. He had already seen that movie but would totally see it again. He even offered to drive me home afterwards, depending on what I felt comfortable with.

I decided to stay and watch the movie with him. Over the next hour before the movie started we explored the Indigo store next door, and then played a game of air hockey (which I totally let him win). Afterwards, we got cozy in the theater and started watching. There were definitely some flirtatious vibes in the air! Our legs were touching, and my head was pretty close to resting on his shoulder a few times.

The movie ended at 11pm and we got to the subway around half past. I knew the subway ran until 1:30am but I had never taken it on my own that late at night. Let alone, I had never taken that route before, and knew I’d have to transfer subway lines twice to get back home. Again, he offered to drive me home but I felt bad as he was tired so I insisted to just subway home. I was embarrassed to discover I ran out of tokens and the worker at the booth would only accept cash. Being the gentleman he was, Joey handed me a $10 bill and let me buy some tokens with it. I insisted on paying him back later on but he said not to worry about it.

He waited on the platform with me (got through with his monthly pass). We talked a bit longer although we were back out in the heat and the humidity started making us both fade quite a bit. When the subway started emerging from the tunnel, we shared a fairly long hug goodbye. I told him I had a really nice time and said hopefully we can hang out again soon. He agreed (which I certainly hoped he meant).

I managed to get home safe and sound that night! He texted me around 12:30am to make sure I got home okay, which was so sweet. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30am that morning. Joey and I talked more last night (he initiated the conversation) which is definitely a good sign!

Sweet, genuine guys like him don’t come around very often, and I really hope this one does work out. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed!

So close, yet so far.

Last Sunday, I found a guy on PlentyOfFish that seemed a bit too good to be true. Very good looking, 6’0′ tall, 26 years old, practiced law and lived in the same neighbourhood as me! He didn’t include much of a description in his profile aside from, “I’m new to this, just trying it out.” Usually I like reading a bit more about the guy before sending a message, but the little I already knew about him peaked my interest enough, so I sent a message.

Adam responded to my message within half an hour, and we started writing back and forth pretty quickly. Especially after discovering we lived a few streets away from each other! We also learned we went to the same high school, equally loved going to concerts, and were both on POF to connect with people outside our own circle of friends.

By midnight, we had probably sent about 15 messages back and forth and we both had work the next day. He ended off the conversation saying: “Well here’s my number if you want to text me sometime :) It was nice talking to you!” Then we both wished each other goodnight and logged off. I went to bed still thinking, he’s just way too good to be true, but it definitely ended my night on a positive note.

We texted back and forth for the next few days; and continued to learn more about one another. This past Wednesday evening, he wrote to me asking how my day was. I proceeded telling him how I had a very long day and it would probably be easier if we talked on the phone a bit. He told me he was having a BBQ dinner with his family. I suggested maybe he could call me later on, or another day later in the week. He responded:

Adam: Ya, okay. I recently got out of a relationship. :s It makes me a bit nervous.

Me: What makes you nervous?

Adam: Like moving on so fast.

Me: Well I’m not looking to rush into a relationship either. It’s always nice just to meet new people and see where it goes. (even though I would love that, but didn’t want to frighten him!)

Adam: Yeah, that’s true.

Then he switched the subject and we texted back and forth a bit more that night. Now if some of you think this guy could possibly be a catfish (click here if you don’t know what I’m referring to), he isn’t. How do I know? This is very bizarre – but as I was looking through Tinder after the first few days of us talking, his picture came up! The same one he used on his POF profile. I couldn’t believe it. Same name, and Tinder connects to your Facebook account, so I could see we had two mutual friends (both, really nice people). I did a quick Facebook search and he seemed to be legit. He’d been truthful about where he had gone to school.

We texted back and forth for a bit last night, although our conversation was cut short as Adam was just on his way out to go downtown.

I’m curious as to what all of you think I should do about him. I definitely don’t want to be the rebound again, but perhaps if I take things slowly and go at his pace, this could turn into something great. Throw your thoughts at me!

Menchies or Munchies?

I chatted on the phone about three times with Kevin, one of my most recent potential suitors from POF, prior to us meeting the other night. Each conversation was about an hour long, and he was really growing on me. His voice was sexy, and he had just the right balance of sarcasm and humour. During our first hour long phone conversation, we decided to ask each other random questions back and forth. Both of us share the same favourite colour: purple. We both take the subway everyday to get to work. He’s allergic to cats: major strike against him. Although as we continued asking each other questions, all of what we shared in common made up for that large strike. From everything we gathered about each other, he created a story of ‘how we met’, if the two of us were to work out:

We were both on the subway, en route to work. With suburbangirl4love being so directionally challenged, she asked me for directions. Something clicked and we decided to exchange our names to add each other on Facebook. From there we saw we had several mutual friends and decided it would be cool to go out and get to know each other more. So on our first date, we grabbed a bite and then proceeded to buy each other purple shirts.

He then proceeded to go into how lame he thought it was (sounded better in his head and regretted saying it out loud). I thought it was really cute and told him I wouldn’t change a thing.

So Kevin and I decided to meet at Menchie’s (frozen yoghurt place) Wednesday night. Being in condo sales, Kevin works about 10 hours each day so it was nice of him to meet up with me after work. Menchie’s closes at 11pm week nights so we had decided to meet for 9:30. He texted me around 8:30 to say he was about to leave downtown and he’d probably make it home for around 9:30. I told Kevin to text me when he was about to leave to head over to meet me.

I waited and waited in anticipation. 9:30 turned to 10. I finally heard from him to say he was leaving his house and would be there for quarter after. So I thought… okay, we’ll at least have 45 minutes to hang out. I walked over to Menchie’s and sat outside waiting for him. Within 5 minutes, I literally got 3 different mosquito bites which just made my fidgeting worse.

20 after 10, Kevin arrives and first thing I think: super cute but definitely shorter than me. I get up to hug him hello and I awkwardly bend over a little to hug him. Yes, he was definitely a bit shorter.  Anyway, I put that aside and we walked into Menchie’s. He told me it was his first time which was cool so I showed him how it works and proceeded to greedily fill my cup with Cake Batter, Peanut Butter and Cookies n’ Cream Frozen Yoghurt. Then the usual toppings: cheese cake bits and strawberries. My salivation almost made me forget about him for a second. Then my brain snapped back and we went to the counter. He said it was on him. (Bonus points!)

We sat down and conversation went really well. We picked up from our phone conversations and I found out we shared a lot more in common. 11pm arrived and the Menchie’s crew started closing up which meant we were going to be kicked out soon. I suggested we walk and talk around the plaza. We got up again and I noticed the height difference, although it didn’t bother me as much this time. We started walking around and the mosquitos instantly attacked us. We sat down on a bench and continued talking. That’s when I get call #1 from my mother. I pick it up and she asked where I was. I told her I was just hanging out in the area. Of course, she started freaking out, asking me to be more specific. I mouthed to Kevin how she was being a typical, overprotective mom. For laughs, I put her on speaker phone so he could hear how worked up she was getting about me (out of love, of course). I had told Kevin she knew who I was with beforehand. He said that was cool, because for all she knew, he could of been some serial killer.

Kevin proceeded to shout into the phone about how I was in safe hands. Oh, and that we were just getting high and drunk. I immediately went off speaker phone and told my mom none of that was true. My mom knows me, so she believed me, but she of course got very concerned about him after she heard that. Not because she worried about him influencing me, but apparently because she found him to be too nonchalant considering he had never met her before. I said I’d keep her updated. We then walked over to sit on the grass and there were definitely some flirtatious vibes going back and forth. It had only been about 20 minutes since phone call #1, and then I see my mom calling again. I pick it up and she said that she was going to send my dad to pick me up in the next ten minutes. I said to her that Kevin offered to give me a ride home. She then proceeded to freak out at me: “Listen to me right now. Please, do not get in the car with him.” She continued and her voice kept growing with concern and anger for me to listen to her. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like she was ruining the end of my date. I could tell Kevin was getting frustrated and God knows what he was thinking about my family and me. I hung up on my mom (I know, horrible). Kevin then said:

It’s getting kind of late, and I know we both have to get up early for work tomorrow. Do you still want a ride home?

My mom’s voice got in my head and I told him I was just going to walk home (as much as I would have loved for him to drive me home). He understood. I felt like an idiot. We hugged goodbye and there really wasn’t any mention of seeing each other again. I felt like the night could have ended on such a better note if my mom hadn’t interfered.

My dad found me about halfway home so I hopped in the car but was too angry to speak. When I got home I stormed to my room. My mom came upstairs shortly after and apologized several times. She felt really bad, but was genuinely concerned about me getting into a car with him.

I was really upset with her that night, but I forgave her soon after. As her actions were only out of love and concern for me.

I texted Kevin shortly after I got home to apologize for what happened and hoped he didn’t get the wrong impression of me or my family. I told him I freaked out at my mom and he responded, saying I shouldn’t blame her. So update: I haven’t heard from him since then. You know what though, if he’s not going to give me a second chance based on that, then he really isn’t worth having in my life. Your thoughts?