Florida Sunshine Cleanse

After my date with LinkedIn boy last month – I was hesitant as to whether or not I should see him again. I was afraid that the more intimate we got… the more attached I’d get. After giving it some deep thought over the next few days and taking into account all of your insightful feedback, my final decision was to go with the flow, and if he were to ask me out – I would see him again. I’d go with what I felt comfortable with, even if it slightly tampered with my heart.

A few more casual, flirtatious text messages were sent back and forth the week following our date, but after that I never heard from him again. Unless you count the dozens of email notifications I received whenever he went live on his gaming website. Needless to say – I’ve now unsubscribed from those email alerts, at the same time unsubscribing from the fantasy of any future between the two of us.

Since then I’ve spoken to a few more guys on OKC and Tinder – but majority of them, similarly to LinkedIn boy, were just looking for a ‘Friends with Benefits’ type relationship. Feeling discouraged, I logged off all online accounts and focused more on going out with my friends.

On a positive note, this Canadian suburban girl just got back from a road trip which was a 24+ hour drive each way! I spent over a week right by the ocean and beautiful palm trees. Lying by the pool and beach with the scorching sun washing over me, feeling the mist of the ocean tickling the tip of my toes, sipping a yummy Pina Colada in hand… I felt free. Free from all my boy troubles, stress of finding a full-time job, amongst a list of other things.

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I was very tempted to stay in Florida permanently and continue to soak in the beautifully tanned men. However, reality sunk in the day we departed and before I knew it, I was back in Toronto.

Still, I am happy to be back. I’d highly recommend you take a road trip or spontaneous vacation, even if it’s just for a week – to de-stress and reflect. Being away reminded me how it’s important to go out on adventures and live life to the fullest. I promised myself to do less online scouting for love and more going out with friends and exploring my beautiful city.

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What can come of Kissing an Origami Frog?

I slept in this morning, fully intending to stay in my pajamas all day and work on my Thesis project. This was until 2pm, when my Facebook prince charming (see last post for reference) sent me a text message asking what I was up to today. I told him I had nothing much planned aside from lounging around at home. He wrote:

Boring.

I asked what exciting plans he had for the day. He was just hanging out and had no plans either. I asked if he wanted to meet up and he agreed! As we were trying to arrange plans, I had that giddy and nervous feeling in my stomach. I could barely eat my cream cheese bagel as I was trying hard to think of a place we could meet in between where he and I live (since I’m in the suburbs and he lives mid-town).

After some back and forth of trying to find a good spot, I decided it would just be better if I took the subway to meet him mid-town since there was more to do there and we could walk around / grab a drink. I then took the bold move of asking him to call my cell phone so we could confirm where to meet. After chowing down the rest of my bagel I quickly ran upstairs to pick out an outfit. I was shaking… God knows why. Probably a combination of nerves and my mother always turning the heat down. As I took a few options out of my closet, my phone rang and it was him! I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

He had a deep, sexy voice. Although we only talked briefly, I felt very relaxed and at ease. We agreed to meet right at the subway station. As soon as we got off the phone I zoned into primping and priming for the next half hour and then headed straight to the subway.

I arrived right on time and was pleased with navigating my way through the station, as I’m pretty directionally challenged. I stood nonchalantly against a wall in a waiting area above ground. Thankfully it was indoors so I didn’t have to bear the cold while waiting. I called him and he told me he was walking over and would be 5 more minutes. I absolutely hate waiting for the guy to arrive as it makes me feel ten times more nervous, but I gave him a cool response and said, “no worries”.

When he walked through the door I recognized him instantly. He appeared just as cute as in his Facebook pictures. Had thick, messy hair, black rimmed glasses and greyish-blue eyes. When he approached me to hug hello I recognized we were actually about the same height. I had thought he was taller, but it wasn’t an issue. He suggested we go to the Aroma Espresso Bar around the corner so away we went.

When we got to the cash register, they took his order first and when they asked if he wanted to get anything else, he didn’t look over at me. We ended up just paying separately. Typically, I’d take this as a red flag. However, he had previously opened up to me in regards to having to take care of himself since he was 13 and how money was tight for him so I was okay with paying for myself. He ordered an iced cappuccino and I got a hot chocolate. They each came with a little milk chocolate which he was so excited about. It was very cute; like a little giddy boy getting chocolate as a rare treat.

We sat down and conversation flowed so well. Usually I feel uncomfortable having coffee dates and having to sit face to face but there was not one awkward pause. We listened to each other and seemed genuinely interested in what each other had to say. He asked me lots of questions about what I did and seemed very impressed. He really opened up to me about having to become so independent at such a young age. We talked about religion and how that factored into his family dynamics. I was completely fascinated and had such admiration for all his hard work. He had to live on his own since a very young age and with that pay his own bills, do his own laundry, take classes and work a part-time job as many hours as he could get. Despite living on his own since a young age he still has a relationship with his family and has such an optimistic and adventurous outlook on life.

Not only was he incredibly good looking, but he also had a nerdy side to him which I found so attractive. He told me he knew all the N64 Mario Kart and Mario Party tricks which is a huge turn on for me since it was one of the few video games I grew up playing. He then made me a tiny origami frog out of a TTC bus transfer ticket and in return I made him a fortune teller made out of Kleenex. Of course, the giddy school girl in me filled it in and wrote little messages like:

Within the next week, you will make the girl across from you a home cooked Spaghetti meal.

He then went on to show me some magic tricks and I was just becoming more impressed with this guy. He then requested for more Aroma chocolates and was so serious about it that I couldn’t help but grin. They brought over about ten of them to our table. He gave me three. I sarcastically told him how generous he was. We couldn’t stop smiling. We then discussed how I’d help him design some self-promotional branding materials within the next week (of course, he’d need to be creative with what he’d give me in return, aside from the origami frog).

Two and a half hours later we walked around and explored Indigo. At the 3 hour mark it was already 6:30 pm and he said it was probably time to get home. I agreed, so we headed towards the subway together so he could see me off.

Update: he called 2 hours ago! I was surprised to see his name pop up but excitedly threw my laptop down and ran upstairs. He wanted to know what my email was so he could send over what he wanted designed. We also talked about what we had for dinner. He didn’t have any! I felt bad and wished I could go over there to make him some Kraft Dinner (my specialty).

Who know where this will go but I’m looking forward to seeing where it’s headed. What’s your prediction?

French Fry Boy Update / Found my Facebook Prince Charming

Hi everyone. First off, I thought I’d write a follow up on french fry boy. Since my last blog post, there was absolutely no contact between us until this evening. Here is how our text message conversation went:

Hey! Wow long time, how’s life treating you?

Me: Pretty good… you?

Could always be better but I’m hanging in there. Finally recovered from being sick?

Me: Yeah.

Ouch. Real conversation murderer there.

I responded by telling him straight up how I was frustrated with him for being so distant since I got back from vacation. I told him it felt like he wasn’t interested anymore and I didn’t deserve for him to just be messaging me out of the blue every so often. He wrote back saying he never meant to create any drama or stress. If it made me feel better he hadn’t seen any of his friends in the past couple of weeks. He apologized and said if I’d prefer he didn’t message me anymore, to let him know. He didn’t want to complicate anything. I did want to give him some benefit of the doubt as it sounded like he may be going through a hard time and he had told me about some anxieties he was dealing with.

Me: I liked where things were going between us and then when I got back from vacation its like things backtracked. I know you weren’t looking for anything serious from the beginning but I felt we developed a strong connection. If you don’t think your open to anything becoming more serious it’s better if we just stay friends.

I sent that about half an hour ago. I’m sure you’re all thinking I’m silly and should have just ignored him. However, I needed closure. I probably would have been devouring 10 tubs of Ben and Jerry’s by now if it weren’t for all of your support.

Now onto a happier note.

As many of you know, I was unable to attend the local speed dating event put on by a University/College organization two weeks ago. What many of you don’t know is that when my friend and I first got invited to the Facebook event, we may have peeked over the ‘attending’ and ‘maybe’ lists. Don’t tell me you’ve never done that before! Anyway, I stumbled across this really cute guy’s profile. From what I could see, he appeared tall, had that prince charming quality to him and was also in his final year of University downtown. Mean time while I was putting all these bits of information together, my friend had found two guys of her liking and sent them a private message to see if they were interested in talking further! I couldn’t believe she did that. I wasn’t sure how stalker like it would appear. However, we could conclude they were ‘single and looking to mingle’ from being marked as ‘attending’ and I thought – good for her! What does she have to lose.

Somehow or another she convinced me to message this guy I stumbled upon. I said:

Hey. I know this is pretty random but my friend and I got this local speed dating event invitation on Facebook and we may have peeked at the list to see who was invited. Are you going?

A few days later and still no response. I figured it was unlikely I’d hear back so I wasn’t disappointed.

Which brings us to yesterday when I received a new private message alert on Facebook:

I just got this message now… yea I was there, crazy experience! So do you normally randomly message cute guys on Facebook? :P

I couldn’t believe he wrote back! From there we talked back and forth which went on for about 2 hours! I didn’t get to bed until 1:30 am. He told me he ended up going to the event. It was an ‘interesting’ experience but it was hard for him to take it seriously because it’s not the typical way he meets new people.

At the end of our conversation he gave me his phone number and I encouraged him to make the next move. He’s even suggested to go out for dinner with me which is so refreshing. I took a screenshot of him giving me virtual flowers. I mean, how original and cute is that! Well, we were both deliriously tired from a long day of school so I guess it made it seem that much more amazing.

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I’m excited to see where things go. No word from him today but hopefully he will make his move tomorrow. I’ll definitely keep all of you updated. Anyone reading this ever experience a similar situation? What’s the most random place you’ve introduced yourself to a guy/ made the first move?

Signed, Utterly Confused and Disappointed

Hello to all my new followers! I’ve now reached over 100. I feel so blessed to have so many of you following along my hilarious and crazy journey to find love.

First off, I was unable to go to the speed dating event two nights ago. As I mentioned, I’ve been battling a bad cold over the last week and have been on antibiotics for the last few days. I was disappointed not to go, if not for the experience alone, but I knew it was best to get fully better and not expose my cold to anyone. The one positive thing I hoped from getting a cold was a sweet, sexy rhasp to my voice… but NO. I woke up to my phone ringing the other day to confirm an order I made to a print shop, sounding like a 70 year old man. I tried apologizing but it just continued getting worse. Luckily, my voice is almost back to normal.

Now if you can believe it, the guy I was talking about in ‘I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud!‘ finally took the initiative to reach out to me yesterday. However, it was surprisingly on the online dating site where our conversation initially started.

Heeelllu dere =)

Me: Hey stranger.

I couldn’t believe how ridiculous this was. I felt like we were back to square one and the mind games were starting again. It’s like we never hung out or kissed before. Quite honestly it felt like a slap in the face and it hurt.

I completely agreed with elizabethbennett2‘s comment, that he probably wasn’t into me as much as I was into him, and just wanted the “relationship” to die of starvation.

However, when I gave this guy space and finally came to terms with not seeing him anymore, he reached out in a form that I found very confusing and bizarre. After having gone on 4 dates, why was this guy messaging me on the site that everything started. Why not just call me and have a conversation? Even texting me is better than starting from square one again. Part of me didn’t even think I should respond. Although I couldn’t help but feel that maybe he still felt something deep within that pushed him to message me.

So as our online conversation continued, he proceeded to ask me about how my cruise was. He then told me he had a large amount of work to get done before the school year finished and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. Which made me think: Well, maybe I’m being too hard on him. Maybe he can’t commit to making any definite plans aside from focusing on his studies right now. But hang on… he can still make the time to go the gym a few times a week and continue having conversations with girls from the website? I’m busy too, but if I genuinely liked someone I would still make the time to see them. 

Then he asked me if I’ve received any crazy messages from anyone on the site recently. I was honest and told him I’ve received a few messages but I haven’t met up with anyone since him. He told me he hadn’t met up with anyone else either. However, he was still communicating with girls and even sent me an entire conversation thread he recently had with one of them. I was shocked. She was accusing him of just looking to sleep around with girls from the site based on a comment he made in his profile description. Which led into a heated back and forth conversation with him defending himself and telling her off. WHY would he be sending this to me. Why do I care what conversations he is having with other girls?

He also recently got back into smoking weed, and I have no clue whether that could have any effect on the way he’s been communicating with me. I promised myself I wouldn’t judge him for that. However, it is an issue if it dramatically affects his behaviour.

I always find the male mind a strange thing to wrap my head around, which is why I welcome opinions from all my readers about what they make of him. Is it time to ignore and move on?

Epiphany over the Caribbean Sea

Yesterday I arrived home from a one week family vacation. We flew to San Juan, Puerto Rico and from there cruised along the Caribbean Sea to St. Thomas, St. Kitts, Aruba and Curacao. It was absolute paradise. Definitely can’t complain going from Toronto’s -15 degrees Celsius to 30 degrees Celsius weather.

My goal going into this vacation was just to relax and enjoy every single moment of my travels and time with my family. Which is exactly what I did. I sat on the top deck of the cruise ship by the pool and stared out into the swaying, aquamarine ripples of the ocean as we awaited our first port. It felt like I was in the middle of nowhere, just a speck floating in this large vessel on water and in that moment it made the world seem infinite. I felt completely relaxed and with the sun beaming down and a subtle breeze passing by every so often; I felt like all my anxieties, troubles and fears had temporarily floated away.

Having no access to technology was difficult at first but as the trip continued it felt refreshing not to have it by my side 24/7. In fact, not knowing if any of my ‘fish’ had written to me felt great, and made me realize that it was taking away from appreciating what I did have in my life and just living in the moment.

I got home from my trip with a sun burn that was peeling, but was surprisingly darker than I’ve ever been. When we landed back in Toronto I was already reminiscing about the islands, dolphin encounter and laying on the beaches in Aruba and St. Kitts with a Pina Colada in hand. There were several guys with their families that looked my age on the cruise, but I really wanted to not focus on chasing after anyone and if anything let them chase me.

When I arrived back in Toronto to the freezing cold, I felt like the last week had been a dream. I flipped through my pictures and couldn’t believe I experienced all of it. Really, it was an escape from reality. Although I’m home now and back to daily routine, I want to continue not to let my obsession over finding ‘the one’ take away from experiencing life to the fullest.

My advise to all of my readers: make yourself a Pina Colada and lay down on your couch. Play a YouTube soundtrack of the ocean breeze. (Yes guys, this goes for you too. You can get a beer instead of a Pina Colada if preferred). Close your eyes, shut your technology off and discover that feeling that pushes away all the stressful things in your life and transports you to a contented place.

A Philosophical Tweet

Every girl wants a bad boy, who will be good just for them, and every boy wants a good girl, who will be bad just for them.

I checked my email inbox today and stumbled across this Tweet by @frank_oceaan that had been re tweeted by someone that I follow. I read it thoroughly word by word and couldn’t believe how true it was.

I feel a large number of us live in somewhat of a fantasy world. Girls like myself like the idea of a ‘bad boy,’ or simply someone who appears unattainable. Coming from a small suburban city and sheltered the majority of my life departing slowly now at adulthood, I partly crave the unattainable due to fear of attaching myself to someone who is attainable. When I have the attainable, sweet and romantic guy who has genuine feelings for me… I runaway. In constant doubt and uncertainty as to whether it’s related to physical attraction, missing the ‘bad boy’ edge that I constantly crave, or simply out of fear of intensifying our relationship. I feel I thrive off of the excitement of the catch, and once it’s gone, I’m afraid of whether I will ever feel that again or if there is something else better.

I get afraid that I typically go after the wrong guy, and I understand that my mentality needs to change and I can’t set my standards incredibly high. Of course my dream would be to take the ultimate ‘bad boy’ and change him to be more of a gentlemanly, sweet guy while maintaining somewhat of his edge… but the reality of that happening is slim to none. Of course at the same time I want a guy who will genuinely treat me like a lady, but have somewhat of an edge to him and surprise me with things that aren’t so sweet on every date we go on.

So what’s your perfect guy? Is he a combination of good and bad?