12AM by the Fireplace. Meow.

Last night I received a text message from French Fry boy. Let’s call him Matt. You can get a bit of a recap from my blog posts, I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud! and I’m Just a Playful Girl at Heart.

To summarize, I started talking to Matt at the beginning of January and there was an immediate attraction from both sides. He had just gotten out of a pretty long term relationship so we casually hung out a few times over the next month. By casual, I mean either hanging out at one of our houses or occasionally going out mini-putting or tobogganing. Whenever I was around him, he made me feel like a giddy school girl. Still, at the same time he scared me, as he had quite a bit more sexual experience and I felt our relationship was progressing faster than I was used to. In fact, further than I had gone with any relationship in the past. I liked where it was going, although I wasn’t ready to give myself for the first time to a guy who I didn’t sense was ready to be exclusive. I knew it would be absolutely heart breaking if he were to just drop me for the next girl afterwards. I went at a pace I was comfortable with. Then, when I got back from my trip to the Caribbean in February, he made no effort to see me. In all fairness, we were both very busy with finishing up the last few months of school. Still, the fact that nothing came of our relationship once I got back was upsetting, but I accepted it.

Matt and I continued talking casually through text – a bit more frequently as of a month ago. Things had calmed down for both of us school wise. I really didn’t think anything more would happen between us up until last night when he asked me if I wanted to hang out as his mom was out of town. His friend was coming in from Burlington to visit him around 7PM so he’d let me know when he’d be free to pick me up. I messaged him around 9PM to let him know my parents would be out between 9:30-11:30PM and that he should just come over to hang out with me. I didn’t get any response. I was waiting and waiting and still, at 11PM I hadn’t heard from him. I couldn’t believe it and was ready to officially write him off when he messaged me at 11:30PM saying he had just dropped his friend off at the bus stop. Matt asked if he could pick me up to go over to his house for an hour or two and then he’d drop me back off at my house.

I was thinking about it and first off, I wasn’t sure how comfortable I felt with him driving me if he had just been smoking weed with his friend. Secondly, I wondered what his intentions were for wanting me over to his house while his mom was away (aside from trying to get in my pants). So I gave him an ultimatum saying either he could come over to my house or it just wouldn’t happen.

Matt was trying so hard to convince me he wouldn’t ever do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. However, I stood my ground and stayed with my ultimatum. He was on the fence about it as he didn’t want my parents to catch us doing anything. I assured him my family would be fast asleep by the time he got to my house. He ultimately caved in… I couldn’t believe it. I was nervous and excited. I made sure all the lights were out upstairs. My parents had gone to bed and he got to my house at 12AM. Yeah, I know it’s late. Still, I didn’t care what time it was. I just really wanted to see him.

I waited by the front door for him and 10 minutes later he showed up. Immediately I was all giddy again (trying to still remain sexy and composed). I literally pounced on him when he walked in, gave him a hug, and in that moment it really felt like it hadn’t gone any longer than a week since I’d last seen him. We tip toed into my basement and plopped onto the couch. One of my kittens followed us into the basement and jumped onto Matt’s lap. All of a sudden, my kitten went ballistic and started digging into him and rolling in circles as if he was high off of catnip. I said:

“Wow, he must really like you.”

Matt: “It seems that way. Meow.”

“I’ve never seen him go this crazy. Do you think he’s smelling something on your pants?”

Matt: “Maybe it’s the weed from earlier.”

“Hahaha.”

Could the smell of weed really have the same effect as catnip? Who knows. Still, we both got a kick out of it. Then I joked around that my kitten was getting more attention than me so I moved the kitten upstairs and closed the door to the basement. Finally.

The pure, innocent angel in me was saying to just take things slow. However, the devilish, inner vixen was saying to turn out the lights, put the fireplace on and pounce on him. I decided to put the fireplace on and dim the lights. I joined him back on the couch and we talked for quite awhile. We seemed so comfortable around each other and I felt really relaxed. However, the more we were talking the more I wanted to kiss him. I could tell he was being hyper vigilant. I said:

“Afraid my dad’s going to come down with a gun?”

Matt: “Noooooo.”

“So then. Why are you being so good?”

Matt: “I’m always good. An angel, really.”

“Is that so?”

I decided not to get all Fifty Shades of Grey at this point in my blog post. What I can say, is that he was certainly a good teacher! ;) I also ended up with a temporary tattoo on my lower back (a snake). We were just having fun and he continued at a pace I was comfortable with. He gave me a goodnight kiss by my front door and left around 3:30AM. I was pretty flushed and overall I was exuding happiness.

I told Matt that the next time we go out he needs to surprise me with something special planned, so hopefully he will stick to that. I still haven’t heard from him since last night but hopefully he’ll get back into gear this time around and continue making the effort to see me.

So when do you think is the right time to ask him if he is seeing anybody else?

Little Boy Blue

Hope you didn’t think I forgot about you! It’s been quite the crazy last few weeks. I wrapped up my final University classes/presentations and can officially say I am done! However, I don’t think it will really sink in until I wear the graduation robe and shake the President’s hand in June. My feelings are pretty mixed about being finished. On one hand I am very excited to start a new chapter in my life and continue meeting new people and stepping outside my comfort zone. On the other hand, I have made such amazing friendships at my school that it will be very strange not seeing them around everyday.

I had talked to you awhile back in my post ‘More Than a Friend’ about a guy I’ve known since my second year of University that I instantly developed a strong bond with. Since then, our friendship has grown leaps and as time went on, he started developing strong, romantic feelings for me. I so wished I could reciprocate those feelings and have that happily ever after with him. Unfortunately, I just couldn’t see us as going past a platonic friendship. I considered him my best guy friend. Someone who I felt completely comfortable talking to about anything, with full assurance everything would remain between the two of us. Sadly, the physical attraction was never there on my end. He suffers from several health conditions, which makes him very self-conscious of his body image and as well struggles with self-confidence. He is also very shy to begin with and after having gotten to know him for three years, he opens up to me much more than his family. I knew that deep down it couldn’t go any further than platonic as I needed that special person in my life to have that level of confidence to push mine higher. Perhaps the attraction could grow if I was open to giving it a chance. However, the fact that I know how self-conscious he is and all the struggles he deals with makes it hard for me to be open to more between us. I casually mentioned to him when we first had this discussion that maybe it would be good for him to talk to someone to help deal with the struggles he faced, but he was very opposed to the idea. He said:

I have you.

I valued how he felt so open to talk to me about his feelings. However, I didn’t think it was healthy to not have any other close friends to talk to and felt it was important he was able to open up to someone else aside from me.

After all of this happened several months ago and we were completely honest with one another, I felt our friendship was strong enough to get through it (as hard as I knew it was for him). This leads us to today.

We were at school clearing out our lockers and fixing a final project to go on display for an upcoming graduate show. As I was eating lunch with him in the student cafe, I could tell he appeared sad. I asked him what was on his mind. He said:

A lot of things.

I asked:

Like what?

He was being kind of vague so I simply started listing off a few things. I asked if it could be about finishing school and not really having any definite next plans. He said that was part of it. I then asked if it had to do with me and being sad that we weren’t going to see each other as often. I could tell from his reaction to that line it was definitely part of it. He proceeded to tell me how he thought I knew how much he cared about me. It was hard on him recently when other students would ask if the two of us were dating. I guess being because we spent a lot of time together at school. He still couldn’t wrap his head around why I didn’t want to be with him. The more he talked, the more I felt sick and upset and I couldn’t form the right responses. I simply said to him how much I cared about him, but I just still didn’t see us as more than platonic. I told him that I felt he really needed to talk to someone about everything going on and feel better about himself/take better care of himself before I were to even consider that. He said:

That’s the thing though. I feel I can only get better when I’m around you. I feel totally comfortable around you.

Still, he would never wear a t-shirt around me. He still suffered from social anxieties and health issues – which I don’t think I could take on in a romantic relationship. I needed to breathe and so I made up an excuse to go to the washroom. After having taken some time to gather my thoughts together, I returned to the table and said:

I would really like to book for the two of us to see a therapist. We have health insurance through school and I feel it would be really healthy for our friendship to talk to someone at least once. Please at least think about it.

He was still very skeptical and didn’t seem like he would. I couldn’t say anymore other than to let me know his decision this weekend. The subway ride home was pretty uncomfortable. There was a lot of silence and small casual talk. When his stop arrived he said:

You’re still my best friend.

I said:

You are mine too. Don’t worry, we will get through this.

I really hope we can. What do you think of my situation and suggestion to him?

My Chocolate was Hot on Easter Sunday

To all my followers that were hopeful Facebook boy would truly be my prince charming: unfortunately I don’t have good news. In fact, I’ve been screaming at myself for being so easily manipulated to think he was actually interested in developing something with me. Instead, he used me for my design skills and once I was of no more use to him, he stopped communicating with me. So it’s time to say goodbye and move on.

Business boy and I had been messaging each other back and forth over the past week on a Jewish online dating site. Even though I’m not very religious, I thought it would be nice to try it out and find some guys who were a bit more serious about looking to find the right girl. After my date with Facebook boy, I was feeling pretty defeated but I figured this would be the last guy I met up with before wrapping up the last few weeks of school.

We decided it’d be great to grab a hot chocolate/coffee over the weekend. Business boy told me he was heading up to his cottage on Saturday (I desperately wanted to ask him to take me with but contained myself). He said he’d call me when he got back Saturday afternoon to arrange plans. Sure enough the next day I heard from him. He sounded very cute on the phone. We talked for a few minutes and decided to meet at a shopping mall the next day that was located between the two of us. I thought this would be a good spot – instead of having to sit down the whole time over a drink, we could walk around a bit.

I woke up Sunday morning when it hit me: the shopping mall is probably closed today, being Easter Sunday! Still lying in bed, I called the shopping mall and sure enough no one was picking up. I sent him a text message saying the mall was most likely closed so would he be open to just going somewhere else to grab a drink. He said he’d be cool to meet me at a coffee shop in my area which was very sweet of him (and refreshing, compared to Facebook boy who made me come to him). So I gave him the name and intersection and we decided to meet at 3:30 pm today.

I got to the coffee shop ten minutes early and found a table for two towards the back. I sat down and threw my coat on the chair. I then started getting a bit fidgety and was looking around the shop which was fairly busy but still comfortable/not too loud. I sent him a text saying I got there and asked how much longer he’d be. I received a message back saying he was a few minutes away.

My heart was leaping back and forth. I saw a guy walk in and he looked at me but he didn’t look at all like Business boy. He sat down at a table towards the front, so I sighed in relief and continued fidgeting. A few minutes later another guy walked in, and as he came closer he totally looked like the guy in the pictures I saw, probably ten times cuter. I got up to hug him. He was very tall (about 6’2), muscular and was wearing a cologne that got me a bit too giddy.

Before we sat down, Business boy offered to buy me a drink (what was I thinking with the last guy?) and so I went up to the counter with him to order a hot chocolate. He also got a drink for himself. Standing there with him I was in awe of how gorgeous he was and was already starting to feel butterflies. I told myself to remain calm and try to not smile so much.

We sat down with our drinks in hand and conversation immediately started flowing naturally. He showed a lot of interest in what I was studying and how my graduate show worked. He told me about how he was working in finance/marketing and continued presenting himself in a very sexy and professional way. As he talked he had a bit of a crooked smile which I found a bit distracting but cute. I’d like to think I did a very good job listening and asking questions in response. Not once did either of us check our cell phones and we pretty much talked about everything from our similar music tastes to how important family was to countries we have/want to travel to. We seemed to have such a similar outlook on life and he just seemed really mature, yet down to earth. Most importantly, I got a sense that he was looking for something more than just hooking up or having a good time. Which is something I’ve learned is what I want at this point in my life.

Two hours later our cups were dry and he told me he had to go home for a family dinner. I found it so attractive that he put the time aside every Sunday to catch up with them. As we were getting ready to leave he asked if I drove here. I had actually been given a lift to the coffee shop so he offered to give me a ride home. I was still feeling so giddy and the butterflies were growing stronger. I was happy he was going to be with his family, but selfishly I would have loved to spend more time with him.

We walked into the parking lot and he told me to stop once we got to the black Mercedes. My jaw dropped. I tried remaining cool and collected. It was so sleek and inside I was screaming: out of happiness this time. I directed him to my house and once arrived we hugged goodbye. Once I got inside my dad was cooking in the kitchen and I told him the guys name (only because Business boy said his parents used to live in the same city as my dad). My dad recognized the last name and sure enough – he had gone to University with both his parents. We couldn’t believe what a small world it is!

If he writes again (let’s keep our fingers crossed), I will have to tell him about that. Maybe it’s a sign? What do you think?

Signed, Utterly Confused and Disappointed

Hello to all my new followers! I’ve now reached over 100. I feel so blessed to have so many of you following along my hilarious and crazy journey to find love.

First off, I was unable to go to the speed dating event two nights ago. As I mentioned, I’ve been battling a bad cold over the last week and have been on antibiotics for the last few days. I was disappointed not to go, if not for the experience alone, but I knew it was best to get fully better and not expose my cold to anyone. The one positive thing I hoped from getting a cold was a sweet, sexy rhasp to my voice… but NO. I woke up to my phone ringing the other day to confirm an order I made to a print shop, sounding like a 70 year old man. I tried apologizing but it just continued getting worse. Luckily, my voice is almost back to normal.

Now if you can believe it, the guy I was talking about in ‘I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud!‘ finally took the initiative to reach out to me yesterday. However, it was surprisingly on the online dating site where our conversation initially started.

Heeelllu dere =)

Me: Hey stranger.

I couldn’t believe how ridiculous this was. I felt like we were back to square one and the mind games were starting again. It’s like we never hung out or kissed before. Quite honestly it felt like a slap in the face and it hurt.

I completely agreed with elizabethbennett2‘s comment, that he probably wasn’t into me as much as I was into him, and just wanted the “relationship” to die of starvation.

However, when I gave this guy space and finally came to terms with not seeing him anymore, he reached out in a form that I found very confusing and bizarre. After having gone on 4 dates, why was this guy messaging me on the site that everything started. Why not just call me and have a conversation? Even texting me is better than starting from square one again. Part of me didn’t even think I should respond. Although I couldn’t help but feel that maybe he still felt something deep within that pushed him to message me.

So as our online conversation continued, he proceeded to ask me about how my cruise was. He then told me he had a large amount of work to get done before the school year finished and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. Which made me think: Well, maybe I’m being too hard on him. Maybe he can’t commit to making any definite plans aside from focusing on his studies right now. But hang on… he can still make the time to go the gym a few times a week and continue having conversations with girls from the website? I’m busy too, but if I genuinely liked someone I would still make the time to see them. 

Then he asked me if I’ve received any crazy messages from anyone on the site recently. I was honest and told him I’ve received a few messages but I haven’t met up with anyone since him. He told me he hadn’t met up with anyone else either. However, he was still communicating with girls and even sent me an entire conversation thread he recently had with one of them. I was shocked. She was accusing him of just looking to sleep around with girls from the site based on a comment he made in his profile description. Which led into a heated back and forth conversation with him defending himself and telling her off. WHY would he be sending this to me. Why do I care what conversations he is having with other girls?

He also recently got back into smoking weed, and I have no clue whether that could have any effect on the way he’s been communicating with me. I promised myself I wouldn’t judge him for that. However, it is an issue if it dramatically affects his behaviour.

I always find the male mind a strange thing to wrap my head around, which is why I welcome opinions from all my readers about what they make of him. Is it time to ignore and move on?

More Than a Friend

Over the last three years of school I’ve developed an incredible friendship with a guy who at first appeared to me as very awkward, closed off and shy. I was never sure whether to approach him to say hello (as I would see him on the subway going home often standing on his own) and always wanted to say something but never sure whether he wanted to talk.

It wasn’t until one of our classes when we were given a partner assignment and by chance happened to get each others names. Since then over the last three years I have seen him slowly grow out of his quiet, awkward shell and we have become so close that we can talk to each other about anything. We can relate on levels that others may not be able to understand due to our past and we both value each others friendship more than words can say.

Since last summer I noticed a change in his behaviour. The way he acted around me, his constant fidgeting… I could sense he was battling something internally that he wouldn’t share with me. Up until recently I remained silent as it was never anything extreme and I still felt at ease in his presence but this past week things changed dramatically. When we were together working on an assignment it felt very formal and tense talking to him. He was fidgeting more than usual and when I looked into his eyes I could tell there was something wandering in his head that was trapped. It was as if whatever was on his mind kept growing and trying to get out but the more he kept it in the more violent it became.

After our class this past Friday we rode the subway home together and before he got off at his stop, he turned to me and said…

I really want to tell you something. (pause) I’m just too afraid.

Then he walked off and I was at a loss. I reflected on our friendship over the last three years and what may have caused it to change. I had always sensed how much he cared for me; through his actions and harmless flirtatious comments here and there but I never knew exactly how he felt towards me. I never talked to him about my relationships out of fear he did feel something towards me and if that was the case never wanted to hurt him.

However, I knew it was time he told me how he felt whatever may happen as a result of it. I composed a heart felt email to him Friday night when I got home explaining how I genuinely cared for him and I could sense something wasn’t right. I told him that nothing he would say would jeopardize our friendship.

The next day I got a new notification in my email that he had responded. As I read it, I started crying as my prediction was right. He did in fact have stronger romantic feelings for me that had been growing since the summer. He was always afraid to tell me how he felt as he never wanted things to be awkward if I didn’t feel the same, especially because we are working on several projects together this year.

After reflecting and organizing my thoughts, I sent an email back to him. I explained how honoured I felt that he cared for me that much. I was also so happy he finally expressed his feelings which I knew was hard for him to do as I am one of the only people he feels comfortable talking to, and since the subject was me he had no one else to turn to. I told him that I value his friendship so much and it means the world to me, but I didn’t feel there was a romantic connection that could develop. I would also never want to sacrifice our dynamic work relationship, especially if we were to go into business together post graduation.

I know that it will probably take him some time to process my email response and it may be a bit awkward at first when I see him, but I really hope we can get back to how our friendship used to be.

I’d like to Deposit Cheques… and my Cell Number.

Last Friday my family decided to go to the mall to make some bank deposits. Once having arrived at the mall we were initially going to grab a bite to eat for dinner in the food court. However, since the bank was right where we walked in, that became our first stop. As we waited in line I was starving and also incredibly tired from a long day at work. Not to mention, I had no makeup on, my hair was unwashed and the bags under my eyes were probably quadruple the depth they usually were.

5 minutes later we got to the front of the line and a guy who looked fairly young compared to the other tellers motioned to us that he was available. *hint hint nudge nudge* When we got to his teller booth he greeted us hello. As he did I examined him a bit more carefully and noticed he had dimples, a sweet smile and was wearing glasses. My mother immediately dumped a handful of cheques on the counter and expressed they were all given to my sister for her Bat Mitzvah and asked if he knew what that was. He smiled again and said ‘of course, I’m Jewish.’ We were surprised as he looked Italian… and of course my mom lit right up. She had to find out more about him. I’m talking personal questions and putting him on the spot with, ‘Where do you go to school? How old are you? Any siblings?’ As she kept asking him he was responding very coolly and casually and I was impressed… but deep down I was turning 50 shades of red as I knew what my mom was doing. After having answered several questions he looked over at me and asked where I went to school and what I was studying. He seemed interested and turned out we actually had a lot in common. However, the more he continued talking to my mom, I knew the level of redness deep down started projecting to my cheeks and across my face.

He appeared cute, but wasn’t the typical bad boy, scruffy look I usually go for. It was obvious my mom was leading up the dreaded question and before I could stop her… ‘Do you have a girlfriend?’ There it was. Out in the open. I knew my face was now 50 shades of red and I had to turn away. He answered no.

It was clearly a mistake to have turned for those few seconds as when I turned back, I saw that my mom had written my cell phone number on a piece of paper and given it to him. She finished making the deposits after having done a pretty good job making sure he wasn’t a criminal. Then she left and said she’d give us a few minutes to get to know each other. Let me repeat… GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. Well if my face wasn’t red, it definitely was now, but I tried acting as cool as he was presenting himself. He then said… ‘I could throw this out if you don’t want me to have it.’ I giggled nervously and said of course he could keep it. We ‘got to know each other’ for a few more minutes which was only about a 6/10 on the awkward scale. I walked away not sure whether I wanted to kill my mother or give her an incredibly big bear hug. In the end I did neither, and thought it’d be a good blog post even if nothing resulted of it.

Sure enough just to brief you on what’s happened since. A few hours later… he called me! I was shocked… looking the way I was… but it was a nice surprise. I missed the call so I texted the number and sure enough it was him. He asked me out for drinks and we went out last night! I had a really nice time getting to know him and he was a true gentleman the entire night.

Now I’m not going to say mother’s always know best… but you never know. She seemed to have pretty good instincts and sometimes someone has to make a bold move. He texted me this morning saying he had a great time and wants to see me again. So, I will just have to update all of you if anything progresses with that!

Ever had a similarly embarrassing story that involved one of your parents or siblings? Comment here or if you’d like your story anonymously shared or under a username, send it to suburbangirl4love@gmail.com.

It’s the Little Things that Make your Day

So I thought I’d share a short and sweet story today.

My friend and I went to our school’s food court for lunch. Once she had grabbed herself a muffin we headed back towards our school for class, when a random stranger taps me at my waist area. He looks in his mid 20s – good looking, dark features, possible European? I see he’s sitting with his friend and when our gazes meet, he says ‘I just wanted to say you’re gorgeous.’

Now of course my over-analytical mindset jumped to conclude he was just a perve who came on to many girls that way. Once I eliminated the pessimistic options, I thought.. Wow. That really made my day. As no matter what his intentions were, he still took notice and reached out to me. It made me feel very positive and changed my mentality from ‘urgh.. I have to sit through another 2 hours of class’ to ‘I’m going to make the most of it.’

So although I’ll probably never meet him again and presume he’ll never read this.. I would like to thank you whoever you are. For adding some positivity and light to my incredibly long and exhausting week.

On a final note – I want to thank all of my loyal readers / new subscribers. Please help get the word out about my blog by passing it along to your friends and family!