Things aren’t always as they appear

Wondering why suburban girl fell off the face of the planet for the last year? I’ve wondered that question too for awhile. Deep down, I started feeling discouraged. It felt like every time I shared about what I thought was a positive match, it would end up falling apart for some reason or another.

Truth be told – I’ve missed writing, and sharing my journey to find love. So let’s jump back into it (for anyone who is still following along). Or welcome, if you’re coming across my blog for the first time!

**

Aaron and I met Sunday evening at a local restaurant.

I heard my phone chime while parking. It was a text from him. “Just got here. I’m the tall white Jewish boy, good luck finding me. :P”

Walking into the restaurant, I quickly glanced around the room and sure enough saw him sitting at a booth. He didn’t get up to hug me. Instead, he extended his arm for a handshake. I suggested we move outside (as it was beautiful out and there was a spacious patio). He was easy going about it.

His profile didn’t lie – 6’2 and very lanky (my ideal look). When we sat down across from each other – I was quickly mesmerized by his beautiful blueish-green eyes and perfect teeth.

The next two hours were spent chatting about our families, work and musical tastes. Towards the latter end of the date – we started playfully flirting with each other. We joked about the spoons we were using to eat our slices of cake (he was the big spoon and I was the little), and about who would be first to take advantage of the other if we consumed too much of the Bailey’s Irish cream cheesecake.

However, after 3 mosquito bites – I was ready to call it a night. He walked me to my car, we hugged goodnight, and I drove home feeling excited about the potential to see him again.

–> Fast forward 2 days. Still no text from Aaron. At this time I had an awful pit in my stomach that something wasn’t right. And so the self-criticism began: Did I come across as desperate? Was he not attracted to me? Was I too sweet? Am I boring? The thoughts wouldn’t go away. They stung. I spoke to several of my friends who kept telling me – don’t let him get to you. You’re beautiful. It’s his loss.

However, I needed closure – even though I knew that it may hurt more than being ghosted. So I bravely sent him a text Wednesday aft:

“Hey. I enjoyed hanging out with you Sunday eve! Since I haven’t heard from you, wondered if you felt the same?”

Hours went by and no response. What a dick! I thought. He’s such a coward!

I slumped into bed, feeling very down about it. I was about to turn my lights off when I got another chime on my phone around 11. It was Aaron. I took a deep breath and opened the text.

“Hey! Sorry I didn’t text. Been dealing with a lot of work stuff. I was actually going to ask when you wanted to meet for round 2? :)”

**

Moral of the story – never assume it’s you. Also – don’t be afraid to seek clarity if you’re uncertain about something.

Date #2 is locked in for Saturday night!

 

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What A … Delicious Bagel ;)

Two weeks ago I got a new match on Bumble. He looked very familiar… and I was almost sure that we had both gone to the same party on Christmas Eve last year (click here for a reminder). I recalled he was very tall and handsome, and I hoped he would approach me to dance, but instead I mainly had drunk, immature boys making moves on me.

Even if I hadn’t seen him last year around this time, I would have still been interested in meeting him since his looks (especially his height) were appealing to me. So what started out as a casual Friday night chat over the app, extended into a week long conversation in getting to know one another. I was thrilled to learn that he was working part-time at my favourite bagel place and that we shared a passion for bagels of all sorts. We continued to learn about so many things we had in common including the same taste in music, family values and work ethic. I was interested to learn that he was studying to be a tradesman in a very practical field and one in which he most definitely would have to be good with his hands…

What I found most refreshing during our conversations was that he almost always began with asking me how my day was or following up to ask about something we had discussed the day before. By mid week, we decided to meet up on the weekend.

Although he offered to pick me up, I declined – saying that I’d meet him at a restaurant for dessert and coffee. I arrived right at 8 o clock to see him already sitting in a booth. He stood up, revealing his sexy 6’3 stature, and gave me a warm hug hello. He remembered having seen me before too, and it didn’t take long to confirm that it was in fact at that party almost a year ago. Fate? Conversation flowed so easily and he was making me laugh – telling me funny stories about his family and imitating them with an accent. We shared 2 slices of cake which were delicious.

After about two hours, not wanting to end our evening, I offered for him to follow me to my house so we could watch a show I had taped that happened to be one of our favourites. My sister wasn’t too happy that we had walked in on her wearing PJs and baking cookies. However, he won her over by eating some of her freshly baked creations and bonding over a conversation about Breaking Bad.

I got us some popcorn and we got cozy on the couch. We were holding each others hands and my legs were casually draped over his. As we got closer to one another, I noticed he still had a bit of chocolate stuck to the corner of his mouth. I took my finger and made a move to wipe it off. However, after doing so he moved in for the first kiss… and it was definitely one I will remember. I hadn’t felt this way for a long time. It honestly felt like I had known him forever, and I think he felt the same way. Before we knew it, it was 1AM, Monday morning, and we both had to be up for work in 6 hours. So we kissed goodnight and he said that we would speak soon.

Never quite relying on those famous last words, I wasn’t 100% sure about how soon he would be back in touch… if at all. So I was pleasantly surprised when he texted me on my way to work at 8:30AM to ask if I had gotten up in time (with a wink face). By the end of Monday, he already asked if we could see each other the following night. I already had plans to meet a friend for dinner, but even if not, I figured it was better to play a little bit cool and so suggested that we instead meet up on Friday (tomorrow).

Since Monday, we have again been texting back and forth non-stop and I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I’m already feeling like he could be boyfriend material. Will keep you posted on bagel boy.

The Spicy Israeli Soldier

A few weeks ago I departed on a 10 day organized trip to Israel with 39 other Jewish young adults. The thought of traveling without my family or friends for the first time was daunting, while at the same time extremely liberating. It was an opportunity for me to develop a deeper connection with my Jewish roots, and challenge me to go on an adventure so far outside my comfort zone. I was also somewhat optimistic to connect with a nice Jewish boy to bring home to mom and dad. ;)

The first day or two of the trip was extremely exhausting; especially finding it difficult with the time zone change and lack of sleep. We were all running on adrenaline to get through the action packed days.

By day 3 or 4 – I unfortunately had to write the majority of guys off my list, as they were either in a serious relationship or had already hooked up with two or three girls. From the short remaining list – there was one in particular that I was really into. We sparked up conversation here and there, and it sounded like we had things in common. However, he seemed a bit more reserved and shy so I mainly stuck to hanging out with the girls I connected with.

On day 5 – we had a group of Israeli soldiers in the IDF join us for the remainder of our trip. Most of them were close to the end of their mandatory service period and were given the opportunity to travel their country with our group. As we shook hands with all of them, I was surprised to see that one of the soldiers looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend, so of course… he immediately caught my attention.

The following day we all had a long bus ride to the Judean desert. We arrived and got settled into the Bedouin tents. I still had to pinch myself, thinking how unbelievable it was that I was actually in the middle of a desert! When the sun went down we all went star gazing, which was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had in my life. While walking back, the IDF soldier I had been eyeing approached me, and we struck up a conversation. When we arrived at the tents, there was a bonfire going and he asked if I wanted to join him. I had butterflies gathering in my stomach, and happily accepted his invitation.

Over the next few hours – we continued chatting by the fire and it truly felt like there was no one else around us. I was so interested to learn about his life, and in return he seemed to want to absorb every little detail about mine. He was so open to telling me about his position in the Israeli Navy – specifically the submarine unit. Considering his first language was Hebrew, I was pleasantly surprised that there was hardly a language barrier. Hearing all the IDF soldiers share their stories around the camp fire made me gain such a deep appreciation for what they do to defend their country.

Over the days that followed we continued to get to know one another. We had a magical evening in Jerusalem where a replica of the Eiffel Tower was the backdrop to our first kiss.

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We walked around the markets where he bought me an army beret to remember him. Afterwards, we met up with the rest of the group and went to a nearby club. It was overwhelmingly jam packed – but once we ordered drinks and found a spot to dance – all of us had the most incredible time. My soldier and I were grinding against one another in the middle of the dance floor, and somehow or another we ended up dancing on top of the tables with the rest of our group. Meanwhile I saw the other guy I liked in the corner of my eye – and he seemed to be getting closer with another girl on my trip. One might I add that was the polar opposite of me personality wise, and was surprised he would be interested in her. It was a little frustrating knowing that he might of been a better long-term match – but my mind was focused on living in the moment with my soldier.

We all got back to our hotel at around 1:30AM. I didn’t want the night to end with him so he kicked his two roommates out for a while. He shut the door and played some Israeli music. We shared a beautiful night together – one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

The time arrived when we had to say goodbye to all the soldiers – which was hard for me. Luckily, being the sweet and incredible guy my soldier was – he promised to come by the airport to see me one last time.

True to his word – there he was, waiting while my group checked in our luggage at 3AM. Once he finished hugging the rest of my group goodbye, he came to me and in the little time we had left together, we shared one last passionate kiss.

Upon my return home – we were still writing to each other quite frequently. Maybe once every day for the first few days. After a week, conversation started slowing down. Although he has plans to come visit here in a few months once finished with the army, I know that I just can’t do long distance.

Overall – the trip was eye opening, inspiring and an absolutely incredible adventure. Hoping there will be more exciting adventures to share soon.

Netflix & Chill: Round Two

I’ve been on cloud nine since Cody left my house on New Years Eve. All throughout last week we were texting back and forth – and I was waiting ever so patiently for him to ask me out again.

Friday evening arrived and I asked what he was doing over the weekend. Cody told me he was free Saturday evening and suggested I “come over and hang out”. I was a little disappointed as I was hoping he’d ask me out on a date… but decided to accept his invitation anyway.

I walked inside his home to the smell of wonderful spices and aromas. We headed towards the kitchen, and to my surprise, I was warmly greeted by his mother! While Cody was finishing off preparing a late lunch for himself, we chatted over our love for The Bachelor and how she somehow or another, years ago, spoke to my mom professionally! Talk about six degrees of separation…

Afterwards, Cody gave me a tour of the rest of his place. The tour ended in the basement – where there were two big couches and a TV. He put on Netflix and as soon as the movie started, we picked up where we left off from New Years Eve. ;) He was very sweet – feeding me pieces of chocolate and apple chips. As tempting as it was to run with my feelings and live completely in the moment, I still decided to hold back on being extremely intimate with him. Mainly because his parents were just one floor above us, but also because I’m still unsure as to how he perceives our relationship.

I could tell he was disappointed, but still respected to go as far as I wanted to.

By 7:30 – both our stomachs were growling. It turned out that his mom was making a delicious Spaghetti Bolognese and offered to dish some up for us. We happily accepted the offer, and went upstairs to help her prepare the meal. She lit some candles on the table and gave us some privacy while we finished preparing dinner — which was very adorable.

We said goodbye to one another at 2AM after having been together for a solid 9 hours!

When I got home, my parents said, “sooooo?” and all I could respond with was… “I’m not sure”.

Overall, we had a really enjoyable evening together. However, when I reflect on where we are both at in our lives, I feel as though we are on two different levels right now. He’s slowly building up his personal training business and very focused on it, with no secure career plan. In contrast, I have a well established full-time career, and am at a point where I’m ready to find someone to develop a relationship with.. and to potentially have a future with.

I tend to over analyze too much. Perhaps it would be best to just go with the flow and enjoy spending time with him – with the understanding that he may not want to be in an exclusive relationship right now. Let me know if you agree!

Dessert, Netflix and Chill 2016

As mentioned in my last post, Cody and I have been talking non-stop since our coffee date this past Sunday. It was safe to say we were quite smitten with one another!

A few days ago, Cody wrote to me saying we should hang out again this week. I asked him what he was up to on New Years Eve. He had nothing planned yet, so I suggested.. “We could always do a dessert, Netflix and chill at my place.” He really liked the idea, so plans were set and I anxiously awaited Thursday Eve’s arrival.

He walked in at 8PM sharp with literally a duffle bag of New Years supplies. We took it into the kitchen and started unpacking everything. Pop Chips, Belgium Chocolates, Perrier, Tequila… I knew this was going to be one crazy night.

My parents had already gone out but my sister was still upstairs and anxiously wanted to meet him. After giving him a tour of the basement and main floor, we made our way upstairs and I introduced them. They seemed to get along pretty well. In fact, they bonded so much that he even gave her a shot of his tequila!

At 8:30 she got picked up and it was finally just the two of us. It was time to get this New Years Party for two started!

He poured himself some more tequila and I took out a bottle of ice wine. It had a cork, and so I asked him to help out opening it with the bottle opener.

“Keep twisting it! Okay now lift the arms up. Drill it in a bit harder. It may not be going deep enough into the cork.”

At that point I burst into laughter because everything coming out of my mouth just sounded dirty and sexual. He started laughing too and I could tell he was feeling a bit embarrassed that he couldn’t figure out how to open in.

Thank God for Google Search – which explained all we had to do was peel off the plastic rim at the top and sure enough the cork slid out easily. A good 15 minutes later – and that ice wine was ready to be poured. We brought some popcorn, chocolate and our drinks into the living room. He went to the washroom, and while waiting I thought to put on some of my music. An Israeli track came on, which gave me an idea.

As he walked back towards the living room I motioned for him to come towards me and said we should dance.

“Ugh, no – I can’t dance!”

“Come on, if a sexy girl came up to you in a club and put her arms around you and asked to dance, you would turn it down?”

He couldn’t argue that one – so we started dancing close up against one another, moving to the Israeli beats. I could feel my heart beating so quickly. We looked into each others eyes and went in for the first kiss! Unlike my kiss in the real club, this one was definitely more passionate and romantic. I didn’t want it to end…

It felt so good to have that first kiss out of the way. After it happened, we just felt completely comfortable around one another – as if I’d known him for a lot longer than a few weeks.

We picked out a movie on Netflix and got nice and comfy on a couch – spooning towards the TV.

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It wasn’t long before we ripped each others shirts off. Oh sweet Jesus – that 6 pack! ;)

Cody was such a passionate kisser and I was really enjoying getting to know him more – both on a physical and emotional level. The fact that he was respectful the entire night and only did what I felt comfortable with, made me like him that much more.

1 minute to midnight. We poured some more drinks and stood up to start the countdown.

10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We clinked glasses and kissed. I couldn’t have asked to start 2016 off on a better note.

By 1:30PM – I got a text from my parents saying they just picked my sister up and were on their way home. Shit! I told Cody and he responded with.. “I love meeting parents. Let’s do this.”

I couldn’t believe how comfortable he was to meet my entire family on our second date. When they walked in – he shook hands with both my parents and started schmoozing with my dad right away about their passion for cooking. We all sat down for a bit and chatted. The whole situation felt surprisingly comfortable, which made me feel very relieved.

At 2:30 we were all exhausted – so my parents went up and it was time to say goodnight to Cody. I walked him to the door and we kissed one more time before he left.

SO – 2016 is definitely off to a good start. I am so happy to have a job that I’m passionate about, great family and friends, the most amazing blog followers, and I can’t wait to see where my love adventure will take me this year. Hope all of you will stay along for the ride!!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ryan and I lay in each others arms on my bed. Burning tears were streaming down my cheeks, as I burrowed my head into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, baby” he said, holding onto me tightly and kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes which were red and cloudy with tears.

Around 2AM I walked downstairs with him, gripping onto his shirt tightly until we got to the front door. He tilted my head up and wiped away my tears with his finger. “We will always be in each others lives… don’t forget that”. I nodded and we gave each other one last kiss before he walked out. I stood by the door sobbing, with an awful, heart-wrenching pain that I had never experienced before.


After 9 incredible months of dating Ryan from JSwipe, it was time to say farewell to one another. Ryan was accepted into a PhD program half way around the world, which will take about 4 years to complete.

We knew about 3 months in that he would be leaving to go. It wasn’t an easy time in our relationship. At that point we were developing strong feelings for one another, and I hated the though of him leaving me. It was a difficult decision, but Ryan knew he couldn’t turn it down. It was one of the most prestigious and competitive programs in his field of study.

I could have ended the relationship at that point to avoid the heartbreak and sadness later on. However, I knew I had to let my fears go – not willing to give up the special bond we had.

We carried forward and went on a countless number of dates. Between our lazy nights at home watching American Horror Story, going to The Zoo, spending the night at a fancy hotel for his birthday and slow dancing together at his sisters wedding – we made so many wonderful memories together.

Before we knew it, October arrived and it was inevitable to talk about the future of our relationship. It was a very tough and emotional discussion to have, but ultimately it was decided that we weren’t going to try and do long-distance. As much as we cared for one another deeply, it would be very tough to be apart from one another for so long. As well, I needed the opportunity to explore other relationships – as this is all very new to me… in order to compare and decide what exactly I want in a life time partner.

I can finally say to the whole blogosphere that I did find love, and it has been an absolutely incredible journey to get to this point (even though it meant I had to experience heart break). A part of me will always love Ryan – we plan on staying in each others lives forever. We’ve been talking frequently since he landed – and I look forward to video chatting with him in a day or two once he is all settled in.

Who knows – maybe he will end up being the one I’m meant to be with forever. For now, my journey continues, and I hope you will stay along for the ride.

It’s Official

Well – here’s the post you’ve all secretly been waiting for. Ryan and I are officially in a relationship now! It hasn’t been blurted out to the world (i.e. over Facebook)… but we’ve made it very clear to one another that we aren’t interested in seeing anyone else. Who thought this day would come?

Even though we’ve only been dating for a month a half – I’ve already developed pretty strong feelings towards him (and I’m almost 100% positive he feels the same way about me).

Last Wednesday he picked me up from the subway after work. We grabbed a slice of pizza for dinner and then went over to his place. We walked inside and I immediately got introduced to his mother. She seemed very sweet and friendly. It was a brief ‘hello, nice to meet you’ – as she was on her way out to grab dinner with friends. When she left we went to his room to ‘watch a movie’ ;). I kept asking him what time she was going to come home – as the last thing I wanted was for her to walk in on us and think I was a complete slut. Sure enough my worst fear came true, as we heard the front door open much sooner than he expected. I scrambled to throw my clothes back on. My face was all red and blotchy from kissing, and my hair completely disheveled. Oh no…

Thankfully, we got back to a presentable state fairly quickly. His plan was for us to head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. We saw her sitting on the couch and she smiled at the two of us as we walked in. I smiled back, but felt very awkward. Although why should I? I’m his girlfriend after all… After grabbing water, I walked out to talk to her a bit more. We didn’t talk for too long – as Ryan was motioning for me to come back to his room. Anyway, I believe I made a decent first impression, as when I left she said it was really nice meeting me, and hoped to see me again soon.

Fast forward to yesterday evening. My parents had been anxious to meet Ryan for quite some time, so I figured that now was a good time since I had recently met his mother. He came over around 5 (my parents were heading to a show at 6 – so they would only have at the very most an hour to grill him with questions). I was a bundle of nerves waiting for him to arrive. Mostly nervous that my parents would completely embarrass me. They did promise to be on their best behaviour.

It really went so much better than expected. Ryan hit it off with my dad. They were talking to one another about products they were developing, and bonded over music and travel stories. My mom pulled me aside and told me she thought he was stunning, smart, and I certainly picked a good one. Aw, shucks!

When they left, he told me he thought my family was great. I grinned from ear to ear, happy that they bonded so well. I’m still waiting for someone to pinch me, to wake up from this dream…

So where does this leave my blog? To be fair to Ryan, and knowing he might one day read this, I feel it’s best for me not to dive into anything more personal between the two of us as our relationship grows. I’ll just leave that up to your imagination. ;) So because of this, I will be taking a break from writing – but I will definitely let you know when suburban girl is totally in love.

For now I just want to send out a big thank you to everyone who has been following along my journey to find love – especially to those who’ve been supporting me since the beginning. To know I’ve inspired some of you, is more than I could have asked for.

Also – I have faith that my favourite Unfortunate Virgin Male (who all my readers should follow) – will also end up with a success story!

The next time I write, you will know that I’m either in love, engaged, or getting married. Or that I’m desperately heart broken.