Just over a week ago, I reached out to Aaron on PlentyofFish. On his profile, it said he was looking for a relationship, lived in the same city as me and that he was a hopeless romantic.
We sent several messages back and forth and I learned we had quite a bit in common. Both of us shared a love for music, turns out his sister went to the same art/design University as me (which is rare considering how small my school’s population is), and we lived fairly close by each other.
About two days into our conversation…
Aaron: “So suburbangirl4love…. tell me something about yourself! Something that maybe you’ve never told anyone before…or maybe too embarrassed to tell… lol could be for any reason.”
Me: “Hmmm.. well I’m a pretty open person – I don’t think there is really anything I haven’t told my friends. I can tell you some things about me that I haven’t shared with you yet. I can definitely be a bit of a nerd. Love Mario kart n64 (kind of the champ at that game) and lately I’ve kinda gotten into chess. Too awesome, right? Your turn.”
Aaron: “Ahah thats not embarrassing at all! You’re only the champ because you haven’t faced me yet! I don’t think you get an embarrassing or fun fact about me until you step up the game ;) Chess is fun though. I haven’t played in years.”
Me: “How am I supposed to step up the game, hmm?”
Aaron: “Let’s start with something embarrassing…. of course there’s always the pro move of pulling out the something kinky card, but then this isn’t the majors now ;)”
I had to give this some serious thought. Unfortunately, my mind drew a blank – which was kind of sad. I’ve always been very sweet and mature, so I never got myself into any wild or embarrassing situations that really stood out in my mind. Anyway, of course, the only logical thing to do was to Google search ‘top 50 embarrassing situations to be in’ and on the list – it said ‘your bathing suit falling off in public’. I grinned, as reading this finally triggered a story. I recalled my experience back when I was a counselor at Day Camp. Of course, on the day of the swim test, I wore this flimsy string bikini that I hadn’t worn in forever thinking it’d be cute to show off. Then, about half way through the test I noticed several of the male life guards were staring.. and when I looked back down I notice my top had completely gone loose. I’d say that was pretty embarrassing.
Aaron: “ooo naked camp stories is it. Well in that case I see your couple of guy counselors and raise you your entire cabin full of kids. When I was a CIT, at the dining hall no less, once everyone was seated my buddy comes up from behind me and pantsed me in front of everyone… now that put the ass in embarrassing!”
That put a huge grin on my face. Anyway, we wrote a bit more harmless, flirtatious comments back and forth until he asked if I had WhatsApp on my phone so we could talk through that instead.
5 days ago I checked my phone and saw I got a new Facebook friend request alert from none other than him. I was confused as I never gave him my name on Facebook. I asked him how he found me and all he said was that it took him two tries… first time he added another girl who looked like me, who is apparently my doppelganger.
Anyway, I was fine with it and added him back.
The flirtatious comments from him continued over the next two days – telling me I needed to unwind at the end of a long work day with a nice hot chocolate by the fire, massage and rom com in the background. It was sweet and still it was nothing that made me feel uncomfortable.
This brings us up to three days ago.
Aaron: “You said you like lazy Sundays?”
Me: “For sure! Chilling in my PJ’s all day – the life.”
Aaron: “Hahah. Oh. My lazy Sundays, I prefer naked.”
I waited awhile to respond, meanwhile he wrote again saying I had been quiet.
Me: “To be honest, I was a little taken aback by your last comment. I don’t want you to think I’m just on this site for hooking up.”
Aaron: “Ahaha no, I know you aren’t and to be honest I don’t want you to think I am either. At the same time though, I know there is a sexual side to relationships and having been in one for 4 years I know how important it is to have one where you’re both on the same level physically as well as emotionally.”
Me: “I totally get that – but without having met me, a comment like that could be misinterpreted and may be a bit premature. ;) If you want to get to know me better, it might be best to move this to a phone conversation sometime or meet up for coffee.”
No response. It’s been two days since I sent that.
Do you feel this hopeless romantic went too far? Maybe I should have just gone along with it instead of perhaps scaring him off a bit. I could respond saying, “well, you’ve been quiet”.
However, if he’s only looking to have a sexual conversation online and not have the courage to ask me out on a date, is he really worth it?