Spring has Sprung, but not My Love Life

I thought I’d kick off the first day of Spring by grabbing Gelato with my latest Tinder match, David. We had started talking on March. 15. David and I had a few mutual friends, and didn’t live too far from one another. I made it clear right off the bat that I wasn’t looking for a casual hookup, and he felt the same way. Once that was out of the way, we started getting into a lengthy conversation through our Tinder messages. By day 2, he asked for my cell number, and so the conversation continued via texting. We talked about practically everything; where we went to school, places we’ve traveled, family, friends, likes/dislikes.. the list goes on for miles.

By day 3, we added each other on the iPhone application called Snapchat. What I really like about this app, is that you can send instant pictures and videos to one another for a certain number of seconds – which gives me a sense of relief, knowing their face matches that of their pictures. David and I also made plans to meet on Thursday (today).

By day 4, we must have sent at least 100 text messages back and forth between one another. We still hadn’t spoken on the phone. I had thought of bringing up the option several times but by this point, it didn’t really make sense as I had plans to meet him the next day.

I met up with David after work today, around 5:15pm. To sum up our date… we certainly clicked and there weren’t any long, awkward pauses as I thought there might be. However, I felt the conversation fell a bit flat. It was a bit of a let down as we really didn’t have any of the first date conversation topics left. I wasn’t ready to jump into talking about anything more serious, so all we had left to talk about was how work was and the weather (and that’s a sign to get out!) I also quite honestly didn’t feel the physical attraction was there in person, even though I did find him cute in his pictures.

After about an hour and a half – not even.. we decided to head our separate ways. There was no mention of seeing each other again.

A valuable lesson I’ve taken away from this – is that when you start talking to someone new.. you shouldn’t get to know each others full life story before you meet. It’s important to get to know each other in person. Otherwise, it may sometimes feel like a big let down and disappointment.

So yes, spring has officially sprung, but my love life is unfortunately still pretty cold.

Business Meets Pleasure

Since my last blog post – I have been busy working on the vector character for the guy I met on LinkedIn – Zach. It was a project completely out of my element, as I have never before designed a Dragon Ball Z type character. However, I was excited to take on the challenge.. especially for him! As soon as Zach e-transferred me half of what I quoted him – I got straight to work.

The first few days were frustrating. However, by Day 4 I got to a stage that I was pretty satisfied with. So I sent the initial design to Zach to review. He wrote back saying it was coming along nicely, although it didn’t quite look like him.

I thought… this is a perfect opportunity for me to ask to meet up with him. Why? So I can get a better ‘visual’ of him to translate his features into the character. So I went for it and sure enough – he was open to meeting up. We made plans for tonight, 8pm, at a local coffee shop.

The day had finally arrived, and I was a bundle of nerves. I could barely get through work today as my stomach wouldn’t stop turning and my heart kept racing at the thought of meeting him. I kept saying to myself.. calm down. Don’t get your hopes up. He may be seeing someone / this could just purely be a business meeting and nothing else. Still, I couldn’t help the way I was feeling.

I parked near the coffee shop at 8pm sharp and walked inside. He walked in a few minutes after me, as I was taking my jacket off. I think my nerves tripled, and my heart was literally about to burst out of my chest. He was just as handsome as in his pictures – tall, dark and handsome, with the most gorgeous greenish-blue eyes.

Zach extended his hand to shake mine and afterwards we put our jackets down. He suggested we grab a hot drink to warm up from the incredibly cold weather outside. We walked up to the counter to place our orders. Once I asked for my tea, the woman behind the counter asked if we were paying together – and he said yes.

Me: “No, you don’t have to. I don’t feel right about that.”

Zach: “Don’t worry – it’s all good. You will just have to take me out for a steak dinner next time”.

At that point, I felt like this was certainly more than just a business meeting.

My nerves started calming down once we sat back at our table. Conversation flowed so smoothly, as if we had known each other forever. From what started off as laughing about how this was both our first ‘LinkedIn’ meet up, turned into talking about what videos games we liked, our family backgrounds, places we’ve traveled to and our favourite food items. An hour in and I was pretty infatuated with this guy. I intuitively felt he was reciprocating those feelings towards me.

We started talking about different languages we spoke, and he told me he could also speak Spanish.

Me: “I’ve always wanted to learn Spanish. Maybe you could give me lessons?”

Zach: “Definitely. If you teach me how to use Photoshop.”

Me: “Deal!”

Around 9:30pm, I reminded him about the designs I had brought to show him in the first place.

Zach: “Oh, I almost forgot about that. *checks watch* Wow, it’s already 9:30. That hour and a half went by fast.”

I lit up and tried to hold in my excitement. For the next 20 minutes we went over the designs and we pretty much were on the same page with how it should be finalized.

10pm arrived and the lady who had served us behind the counter came over and said: “Sorry, but we are closing”.

I looked around and noticed that everyone else had left. I didn’t even notice, nor did he. So we packed up our things, and proceeded towards the front door of the coffee shop. He gave me a hug before we went out into the cold, and I held onto it for a solid five seconds. He was a great hugger.

Something tells me this story is not quite over yet…

Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

Storia D’amore

Over the last few days I’ve been writing back and forth with Joey on OkCupid. I stumbled across his profile and immediately liked what I saw. He was Italian (tall, dark and handsome). Joey proclaimed he was a huge geek when it came to TV shows, video games, board games, the arts — all of which I equally geek out over! To top of it all off he was studying to become a lawyer and spoke fluent Italian (what girl wouldn’t want to have the sexy Italian language whispered into her ear night and day?) Guys, time to pick up a new language!

We decided to meet Tuesday evening to grab dinner / drinks. I was pretty nervous, though excited! The plan was for him to meet me at the subway station close to where I work and from there go find a local pub and perhaps walk around the area afterwards to spot out some celebrities (as the Toronto International Film Festival is going on right now). At 5:30pm I received a text saying “can you call me when you get this?” I immediately braced myself for the worst, and dialed his number. He picked up after a few rings…

Joey: So I hope you don’t find this really weird but I was on the bus over to you and I got a horrible nose bleed. It’s pretty bad. Probably from the humidity outside. I need to go back home to shower / get changed.

Me: That’s horrible! I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to take a rain check on hanging out?

Joey: No, tonight still works! I’m not too far from my house. Can we meet up in half an hour / 45 minutes?

So the new plan was for me to venture further down the subway line (about 10 stops away from where I currently was) to go to a shopping mall which was closer to him. We decided to meet on the subway platform. Pretty romantic spot, right?

I started walking down the platform to spot him. The humidity was dreadful. It’s about 40 degrees Celsius here and I was praying my hair wouldn’t turn into a complete frizz ball by the time I made it to where he was standing. I finally spotted him. I know what you’re thinking and no… we didn’t run into each others arms and share a passionate kiss. However, we did share a really nice hug hello. We walked into the shopping mall which was connected to the subway and instantly started cooling down.

Joey was just as cute as how he appeared in his pictures. Conversation started off slowly until we parked ourselves down inside a Pickle Barrel restaurant. We ordered food and conversation picked up — we talked about everything from our travels to family to our pets.

We shared a Caesar salad. Of course I had to order the spaghetti and meatballs (classic Italian dish). He ordered a curry dish, and shared a bit of my pasta as it was very filling (unfortunately there was no Lady and the Tramp moment).

We finished dinner around 8:30pm and he suggested we go see a movie, as there was a theater inside the same mall. I definitely wanted to continue our date so we paid the bill and headed over to the theater. The earliest time the next movie played was an hour later, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do as I knew the movie probably wouldn’t end til around 11pm and I would still need to subway back home to the suburbs. Joey said it was totally up to me. He had already seen that movie but would totally see it again. He even offered to drive me home afterwards, depending on what I felt comfortable with.

I decided to stay and watch the movie with him. Over the next hour before the movie started we explored the Indigo store next door, and then played a game of air hockey (which I totally let him win). Afterwards, we got cozy in the theater and started watching. There were definitely some flirtatious vibes in the air! Our legs were touching, and my head was pretty close to resting on his shoulder a few times.

The movie ended at 11pm and we got to the subway around half past. I knew the subway ran until 1:30am but I had never taken it on my own that late at night. Let alone, I had never taken that route before, and knew I’d have to transfer subway lines twice to get back home. Again, he offered to drive me home but I felt bad as he was tired so I insisted to just subway home. I was embarrassed to discover I ran out of tokens and the worker at the booth would only accept cash. Being the gentleman he was, Joey handed me a $10 bill and let me buy some tokens with it. I insisted on paying him back later on but he said not to worry about it.

He waited on the platform with me (got through with his monthly pass). We talked a bit longer although we were back out in the heat and the humidity started making us both fade quite a bit. When the subway started emerging from the tunnel, we shared a fairly long hug goodbye. I told him I had a really nice time and said hopefully we can hang out again soon. He agreed (which I certainly hoped he meant).

I managed to get home safe and sound that night! He texted me around 12:30am to make sure I got home okay, which was so sweet. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30am that morning. Joey and I talked more last night (he initiated the conversation) which is definitely a good sign!

Sweet, genuine guys like him don’t come around very often, and I really hope this one does work out. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed!

The Most Unconventional First Date

It had been almost 3 weeks since I started talking to my South African boy, Jon, on Tinder. Since my last blog post, A True South African Gentleman, we continued talking on a daily basis through Skype and text. The more we talked, the more I felt like we had known each other forever. However, I also started growing a bit tired of our online relationship. I didn’t want what we had to turn into another one of my hopeless fantasies that would never result in anything.

Living about an hour away from each other wasn’t ideal, but Jon and I were both interested enough to make things work. He had gotten into a pretty serious accident and hurt his back around when we first started talking, so he still wasn’t completely comfortable driving on his own just yet. Jon told me that his sister offered to drive the both of them to my area. When he suggested that to me, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was about time we had our first date, yet if his sister came along it could make things a bit awkward and also make her feel like a bit of a third wheel. After a long period of contemplation, I decided to have them both over to my house Saturday evening.

When Saturday arrived, I was pretty nervous. I think I changed my outfit at least five times, and my nails have never gone through so many colour changes within an hour. I had actually planned a special surprise for them. My dad offered to cook up a South African delicacy, boerewors (which is a type of sausage).

So yes, I know what you’re thinking. We pretty much fast tracked ten dates for our first ever face to face meeting.

Jon and his sister arrived and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. I hugged him and his sister hello. Jon then presented me with a bouquet of beautiful lilacs and I smiled bashfully. He admitted his sister had helped pick out the flowers, which was so incredibly sweet.

We went out to my backyard and my dad had started cooking on the BBQ. I made the introductions. It was so much for me to take in at once. Yet, surprisingly it wasn’t as awkward as you may think. In fact, the four of us got into great conversation right away and it felt like we had all known each other for quite some time. Jon and his sister were grinning at one another as soon as they smelled the boerewors (they knew what it was instantly).

After dinner, my dad left and I opened up a bottle of ice wine for the three of us to share. I gave Jon my guitar and he started playing some of his own, original music as the sun was fading. It was so romantic, although I couldn’t get completely into the moment as his sister was sitting behind him. She was just relaxing and had her eyes closed, so at points of the evening it did feel like it was just the two of us. I sang along with him to ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay, and he even taught me a few of the chords which are perfection. Seriously, the most beautiful guitar chords I’ve ever heard. He’s such an incredible guitarist (I told him he needs to get his own YouTube channel going). After Jon gave us a little show, he passed it along to his sister for her to play a song.

I have a chimineya in my backyard, so at that point we decided to get a fire going. Jon started placing the firewood inside the pit. It was mesmerizing to watch the fire flutter back and forth and seeing little sparks exiting the pit, within seconds disappearing into thin air. The smell of the firewood was heavenly. We made some s’mores and afterwards Jon and I went to lie on my hammock. His sister was on her phone so we just went over. I colossally failed the first time around as I jumped onto the hammock and managed to do a complete 360 degree turn and toss myself over the other side. We just laughed it off and then positioned ourselves comfortably onto the hammock and were lying in each others arms. His head rested on mine and my one hand lay on his chest. He told me he could fall asleep right then and there. It was so perfect. In that moment, I felt like he was my boyfriend. His sister had gone to the washroom for quite some time as we were lying there. We looked at each other at certain moments and I thought of kissing him. However, I decided to wait. It was just the first date, and I wanted to share that moment when it was just the two of us and no one else around.

His sister came over to join us after a little while (dragged a lawn chair over to the hammock and lay facing us). We kept talking and laughing, and the more we talked, the more similarities I discovered. Around 10:30pm the mosquitoes had done an excellent job of attacking his sister and I, so we quickly brought everything inside. We moved into the living room and he had his arm around me on the couch, even with my dad hanging around the house.

Despite it being such a nontraditional first date, it somehow just felt right. Totally worth the 10+ mosquito bites. He texted me on the car ride home saying how incredible I was and thanked me again. It was so sweet and genuine and I couldn’t wipe away the large grin from my face.

As my dad and I got comfortable to watch the latest Hell’s Kitchen episode, we noticed Jon’s wallet had fallen out of his pocket and was tucked into the couch!

I quickly texted him: You totally left your wallet on purpose to see me again, right? ;)

Jon: Oh crap! I like having a great excuse like that.

He couldn’t get anyone to drive him back the next day. However, his mom was visiting their family friends in my area the following day so I just dropped it off there.

I’m really looking forward to seeing him again. Hopefully it’ll just be the two of us next time! The only thing that worries me is the hour distance between us. Do you think I should be concerned about that?

A True South African Gentleman

Quick update on Matt: What an idiot. I have not heard from him since he came over to my house. Clearly he was just looking to hook up. I was naive enough to think he was going to make more of an effort a second time around.

Moving on to a happier note. This may be a shock to many of you but I have a new potential love interest from… Tinder. I know what you’re thinking: this coming from the girl who vowed to stop using the app after her last Tinder experience. See ‘Tinder P.2: Another One Bites the Dust‘.

Since then I had stopped liking pictures and initiating conversations. However, I completely forgot my profile was still floating in Tinder land. The last week of May, I got a notification on my phone saying ‘You’ve got a new match’. This reminded me I still had the app and just as I was about to delete it, that match messaged me. Tinder told me that Jonathan was 16 miles away, we had 3 mutual friends, and our shared interests were the TV show, Modern Family, and the band, Deadmau5. I could see four pictures of him and couldn’t believe how handsome he was. In fact, he looked pretty similar to my high school Disney crush, Zac Efron. I’m sure some of you secretly loved watching him as Troy Bolton in the Disney movie ‘High School Musical’, in his Wild Cats jersey and rocking the long, shaggy haircut.

I decided Jon would be the last guy I talked to on Tinder before calling it quits. We started off just talking casually. I asked how he knew our mutual friends. I learned one of them was a family friend of his from when he grew up in South Africa. I thought that was so neat, as my mom also grew up there. The more we talked, the more interested I was in learning more about him.

We added each other on Facebook and started messaging each other on a daily basis. We were both equally fascinated in one another, and couldn’t believe how many similarities we shared. I learned that we both had very artistic families, shared similar music tastes and were both very family oriented. He shared with me that he was at a point in his life where he was looking to find someone to share his life with. I was certainly beginning to get excited about this guy!

Over the last two weeks of writing to Jon, I keep becoming more and more infatuated with him and wonder whether what we have can translate to something real. We spoke on the phone for the first time last night. Might I add it went on for two hours! I couldn’t believe it. Conversation flowed as smoothly as it did writing back and forth. We didn’t run out of things to talk about. He talked and communicated so sincerely. Oh, and the slight South African accent was just a bonus! We even Skyped last night. I was so nervous about it, but seeing him on webcam, vice versa, felt so comfortable and we had a great time. Afterwards I headed to bed with quite the cheesy, large grin on my face.

While I was fast asleep, he sent me a text message at 12:36AM saying: I want you to wake up and read that I actually can’t stop thinking about you :D

So sure enough when I woke up this morning and read that text, it made me feel so amazing. My intuition tells me this guy is very genuine and the real deal. He’s not the type to play games. He even told me he’s talked to his family and best friends about me which is exciting yet nerve racking at the same time. Of course there is still the constant fear of whether he won’t like me when we meet in person. I guess only time will tell.

We are planning to meet within the next week and a half and I’m hopeful that something great will come out of this. Who knows, maybe this South African gentleman will be my Disney prince.

12AM by the Fireplace. Meow.

Last night I received a text message from French Fry boy. Let’s call him Matt. You can get a bit of a recap from my blog posts, I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud! and I’m Just a Playful Girl at Heart.

To summarize, I started talking to Matt at the beginning of January and there was an immediate attraction from both sides. He had just gotten out of a pretty long term relationship so we casually hung out a few times over the next month. By casual, I mean either hanging out at one of our houses or occasionally going out mini-putting or tobogganing. Whenever I was around him, he made me feel like a giddy school girl. Still, at the same time he scared me, as he had quite a bit more sexual experience and I felt our relationship was progressing faster than I was used to. In fact, further than I had gone with any relationship in the past. I liked where it was going, although I wasn’t ready to give myself for the first time to a guy who I didn’t sense was ready to be exclusive. I knew it would be absolutely heart breaking if he were to just drop me for the next girl afterwards. I went at a pace I was comfortable with. Then, when I got back from my trip to the Caribbean in February, he made no effort to see me. In all fairness, we were both very busy with finishing up the last few months of school. Still, the fact that nothing came of our relationship once I got back was upsetting, but I accepted it.

Matt and I continued talking casually through text – a bit more frequently as of a month ago. Things had calmed down for both of us school wise. I really didn’t think anything more would happen between us up until last night when he asked me if I wanted to hang out as his mom was out of town. His friend was coming in from Burlington to visit him around 7PM so he’d let me know when he’d be free to pick me up. I messaged him around 9PM to let him know my parents would be out between 9:30-11:30PM and that he should just come over to hang out with me. I didn’t get any response. I was waiting and waiting and still, at 11PM I hadn’t heard from him. I couldn’t believe it and was ready to officially write him off when he messaged me at 11:30PM saying he had just dropped his friend off at the bus stop. Matt asked if he could pick me up to go over to his house for an hour or two and then he’d drop me back off at my house.

I was thinking about it and first off, I wasn’t sure how comfortable I felt with him driving me if he had just been smoking weed with his friend. Secondly, I wondered what his intentions were for wanting me over to his house while his mom was away (aside from trying to get in my pants). So I gave him an ultimatum saying either he could come over to my house or it just wouldn’t happen.

Matt was trying so hard to convince me he wouldn’t ever do anything to make me feel uncomfortable. However, I stood my ground and stayed with my ultimatum. He was on the fence about it as he didn’t want my parents to catch us doing anything. I assured him my family would be fast asleep by the time he got to my house. He ultimately caved in… I couldn’t believe it. I was nervous and excited. I made sure all the lights were out upstairs. My parents had gone to bed and he got to my house at 12AM. Yeah, I know it’s late. Still, I didn’t care what time it was. I just really wanted to see him.

I waited by the front door for him and 10 minutes later he showed up. Immediately I was all giddy again (trying to still remain sexy and composed). I literally pounced on him when he walked in, gave him a hug, and in that moment it really felt like it hadn’t gone any longer than a week since I’d last seen him. We tip toed into my basement and plopped onto the couch. One of my kittens followed us into the basement and jumped onto Matt’s lap. All of a sudden, my kitten went ballistic and started digging into him and rolling in circles as if he was high off of catnip. I said:

“Wow, he must really like you.”

Matt: “It seems that way. Meow.”

“I’ve never seen him go this crazy. Do you think he’s smelling something on your pants?”

Matt: “Maybe it’s the weed from earlier.”

“Hahaha.”

Could the smell of weed really have the same effect as catnip? Who knows. Still, we both got a kick out of it. Then I joked around that my kitten was getting more attention than me so I moved the kitten upstairs and closed the door to the basement. Finally.

The pure, innocent angel in me was saying to just take things slow. However, the devilish, inner vixen was saying to turn out the lights, put the fireplace on and pounce on him. I decided to put the fireplace on and dim the lights. I joined him back on the couch and we talked for quite awhile. We seemed so comfortable around each other and I felt really relaxed. However, the more we were talking the more I wanted to kiss him. I could tell he was being hyper vigilant. I said:

“Afraid my dad’s going to come down with a gun?”

Matt: “Noooooo.”

“So then. Why are you being so good?”

Matt: “I’m always good. An angel, really.”

“Is that so?”

I decided not to get all Fifty Shades of Grey at this point in my blog post. What I can say, is that he was certainly a good teacher! ;) I also ended up with a temporary tattoo on my lower back (a snake). We were just having fun and he continued at a pace I was comfortable with. He gave me a goodnight kiss by my front door and left around 3:30AM. I was pretty flushed and overall I was exuding happiness.

I told Matt that the next time we go out he needs to surprise me with something special planned, so hopefully he will stick to that. I still haven’t heard from him since last night but hopefully he’ll get back into gear this time around and continue making the effort to see me.

So when do you think is the right time to ask him if he is seeing anybody else?