A million miles away P.2

Continuation of ‘A million miles away‘…

Me: Safe travels! Let me know when you’re here.

SA Boy: You know it.

Picture he attached upon arrival at airport

SA boy was here, in Canada! It didn’t seem real. We had been messaging and calling one another over Whatsapp since the beginning of February. The thought of finally getting to meet him face to face was incredibly exciting.

He wrote early the next day, saying he was pretty busy with family activities during the day – but could hang out later in the evening for dinner, with the potential of joining him and his cousins afterwards at a bar.

We decided to meet up at 8pm for a late dinner. I was disappointed to learn that he was just going to be having a guys night out with his cousins. That meant we would only have 2 hours together before he had to meet them, but that wasn’t going to put a damper on my evening.

I arrived at the restaurant right at 8, and ran straight to the washroom to freshen up. I awkwardly sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes, eagerly waiting for him to say “I’m here”. However, SA boy didn’t appear to be receiving my messages, and I was developing a pit in my stomach.. thinking that he wasn’t going to show up. Around 10 after I walked out of the washroom back towards the front entrance. As I’m walking, someone stands up from their table and taps my shoulder. Startled, I look over and it was him!

He grinned and showcased the most beautiful dimples I’ve ever seen. He bent his 6’4 stature over to hug me hello. I must have been blushing like a little school girl. Then he started talking…. and my whole body melted. It was one thing to hear his sexy South African accent over the phone, but to have the whole package *ha ha* in front of me, I just couldn’t take it.

Our time together whizzed by. We ordered some drinks and both got the same pasta dish. We were joking around about South African vs. Canadian lingo. Like did you know that in SA, they call street lights robots? Also, trunks here are called boots there! Before I knew it his cousins were writing, asking where he was.

He was quite the gentleman and pulled out his wallet to pay, but I insisted it was on me since he was a guest in my country. He then walked me to the subway. It was so cute… his teeth were chattering the entire walk over (they don’t get snow in SA, and the coldest it ever gets is about 5 degrees). I looped my arm through his, joking around saying I’d keep him warm. He clearly took that as an opening to place his arm around me and pull us closer together.

When we got to the subway, he ordered an Uber and we talked about potentially meeting up once more the next day before I left to go out of town. I looked up at him, our eyes locked, and like out of a fairy tale, we kissed. I completely blocked out the people walking around us – and soaked in those next 2 minutes before he had to go. He was an amazing kisser. ;)

We tried to meet up again the next day, but sadly the timing didn’t work. We agreed that when I go visit there, we would have more time to spend together.

I’m trying to stay realistic. He lives half way around the world. July is also a fair time away. I’ll keep my search going in the mean time, but rest assured there will most certainly be a part 3 to this story. Potentially part 4, if this fairy tale has more chapters.

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A million miles away

Well it’s already two months into the new year, and I’ve only had one or two potential matches. None of which were exciting enough to report. Until now…

This year marks my mothers 40th year since she immigrated to Toronto from South Africa, so we felt it was the right time for us to go visit as a family and explore the part of the country she grew up in. So in a few months, we will be flying almost half way around the world (a total of 21 hours to be exact)… for what I’m sure will be quite an emotional and exhilarating trip.

As we started looking into our trip a month ago, I had a crazy idea: why not see what the guys are like in South Africa? So I hopped onto JSwipe, changed my location setting, and low and behold was presented with a few dozen new profiles of Jewish South African hunks. I knew my chances were slim of getting matched with any of them as they could see I lived so far away — but still swiped right on a few profiles.

The next day, I got a match! SA boy looked absolutely dreamy in his photos — beautiful dimples and the most perfect smile. You know you’ve matched with a guy from Africa when he has profile pictures with parrots on his shoulders and elephant trunks wrapped around his body.

SG (Suburban Girl): “Want to be my tour guide when I come visit?”

SA Boy: “Sure! Gladly.”

SG: What do you for fun in SA?

SA Boy: “You mean when not racing cheetahs? ;P There’s plenty to do, but like anywhere in the world we spend way too much time watching series.”

We started bonding over several TV show series, and he told me about all the romantic things we could do in SA when I came to visit — like going surfing and watching the sunset on the beach. I was already swooning. Fast forward a few messages later…

SA Boy: “Ironically, you might be the one being the tour guide first! I’m actually going to be in your city for a wedding in March.”

I couldn’t believe it. Of all the men I could have matched with in South Africa… he was already planning to come visit here for the first time — for his cousins wedding! I leaped in excitement.

Despite the 7 hour time difference, we’ve been managing to write lengthy messages back and forth to one another. The more I’m discovering about him, the more excited I am about meeting him in person. The countdown is officially on until we meet for the first time. Of course the reality is that he does live so far away, and it’s truly a fairy tale to think that it could end up working out and one of us moves to live with the other person. However, I am truly a romantic at heart, and you never know where life will lead you next.

What are your thoughts? Would fellow romantics route for this to go somewhere?

Hold tight for part 2 of this story.

The Spicy Israeli Soldier

A few weeks ago I departed on a 10 day organized trip to Israel with 39 other Jewish young adults. The thought of traveling without my family or friends for the first time was daunting, while at the same time extremely liberating. It was an opportunity for me to develop a deeper connection with my Jewish roots, and challenge me to go on an adventure so far outside my comfort zone. I was also somewhat optimistic to connect with a nice Jewish boy to bring home to mom and dad. ;)

The first day or two of the trip was extremely exhausting; especially finding it difficult with the time zone change and lack of sleep. We were all running on adrenaline to get through the action packed days.

By day 3 or 4 – I unfortunately had to write the majority of guys off my list, as they were either in a serious relationship or had already hooked up with two or three girls. From the short remaining list – there was one in particular that I was really into. We sparked up conversation here and there, and it sounded like we had things in common. However, he seemed a bit more reserved and shy so I mainly stuck to hanging out with the girls I connected with.

On day 5 – we had a group of Israeli soldiers in the IDF join us for the remainder of our trip. Most of them were close to the end of their mandatory service period and were given the opportunity to travel their country with our group. As we shook hands with all of them, I was surprised to see that one of the soldiers looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend, so of course… he immediately caught my attention.

The following day we all had a long bus ride to the Judean desert. We arrived and got settled into the Bedouin tents. I still had to pinch myself, thinking how unbelievable it was that I was actually in the middle of a desert! When the sun went down we all went star gazing, which was one of the most incredible experiences I’ve ever had in my life. While walking back, the IDF soldier I had been eyeing approached me, and we struck up a conversation. When we arrived at the tents, there was a bonfire going and he asked if I wanted to join him. I had butterflies gathering in my stomach, and happily accepted his invitation.

Over the next few hours – we continued chatting by the fire and it truly felt like there was no one else around us. I was so interested to learn about his life, and in return he seemed to want to absorb every little detail about mine. He was so open to telling me about his position in the Israeli Navy – specifically the submarine unit. Considering his first language was Hebrew, I was pleasantly surprised that there was hardly a language barrier. Hearing all the IDF soldiers share their stories around the camp fire made me gain such a deep appreciation for what they do to defend their country.

Over the days that followed we continued to get to know one another. We had a magical evening in Jerusalem where a replica of the Eiffel Tower was the backdrop to our first kiss.

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We walked around the markets where he bought me an army beret to remember him. Afterwards, we met up with the rest of the group and went to a nearby club. It was overwhelmingly jam packed – but once we ordered drinks and found a spot to dance – all of us had the most incredible time. My soldier and I were grinding against one another in the middle of the dance floor, and somehow or another we ended up dancing on top of the tables with the rest of our group. Meanwhile I saw the other guy I liked in the corner of my eye – and he seemed to be getting closer with another girl on my trip. One might I add that was the polar opposite of me personality wise, and was surprised he would be interested in her. It was a little frustrating knowing that he might of been a better long-term match – but my mind was focused on living in the moment with my soldier.

We all got back to our hotel at around 1:30AM. I didn’t want the night to end with him so he kicked his two roommates out for a while. He shut the door and played some Israeli music. We shared a beautiful night together – one that I’ll remember for the rest of my life.

The time arrived when we had to say goodbye to all the soldiers – which was hard for me. Luckily, being the sweet and incredible guy my soldier was – he promised to come by the airport to see me one last time.

True to his word – there he was, waiting while my group checked in our luggage at 3AM. Once he finished hugging the rest of my group goodbye, he came to me and in the little time we had left together, we shared one last passionate kiss.

Upon my return home – we were still writing to each other quite frequently. Maybe once every day for the first few days. After a week, conversation started slowing down. Although he has plans to come visit here in a few months once finished with the army, I know that I just can’t do long distance.

Overall – the trip was eye opening, inspiring and an absolutely incredible adventure. Hoping there will be more exciting adventures to share soon.

Dessert, Netflix and Chill 2016

As mentioned in my last post, Cody and I have been talking non-stop since our coffee date this past Sunday. It was safe to say we were quite smitten with one another!

A few days ago, Cody wrote to me saying we should hang out again this week. I asked him what he was up to on New Years Eve. He had nothing planned yet, so I suggested.. “We could always do a dessert, Netflix and chill at my place.” He really liked the idea, so plans were set and I anxiously awaited Thursday Eve’s arrival.

He walked in at 8PM sharp with literally a duffle bag of New Years supplies. We took it into the kitchen and started unpacking everything. Pop Chips, Belgium Chocolates, Perrier, Tequila… I knew this was going to be one crazy night.

My parents had already gone out but my sister was still upstairs and anxiously wanted to meet him. After giving him a tour of the basement and main floor, we made our way upstairs and I introduced them. They seemed to get along pretty well. In fact, they bonded so much that he even gave her a shot of his tequila!

At 8:30 she got picked up and it was finally just the two of us. It was time to get this New Years Party for two started!

He poured himself some more tequila and I took out a bottle of ice wine. It had a cork, and so I asked him to help out opening it with the bottle opener.

“Keep twisting it! Okay now lift the arms up. Drill it in a bit harder. It may not be going deep enough into the cork.”

At that point I burst into laughter because everything coming out of my mouth just sounded dirty and sexual. He started laughing too and I could tell he was feeling a bit embarrassed that he couldn’t figure out how to open in.

Thank God for Google Search – which explained all we had to do was peel off the plastic rim at the top and sure enough the cork slid out easily. A good 15 minutes later – and that ice wine was ready to be poured. We brought some popcorn, chocolate and our drinks into the living room. He went to the washroom, and while waiting I thought to put on some of my music. An Israeli track came on, which gave me an idea.

As he walked back towards the living room I motioned for him to come towards me and said we should dance.

“Ugh, no – I can’t dance!”

“Come on, if a sexy girl came up to you in a club and put her arms around you and asked to dance, you would turn it down?”

He couldn’t argue that one – so we started dancing close up against one another, moving to the Israeli beats. I could feel my heart beating so quickly. We looked into each others eyes and went in for the first kiss! Unlike my kiss in the real club, this one was definitely more passionate and romantic. I didn’t want it to end…

It felt so good to have that first kiss out of the way. After it happened, we just felt completely comfortable around one another – as if I’d known him for a lot longer than a few weeks.

We picked out a movie on Netflix and got nice and comfy on a couch – spooning towards the TV.

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It wasn’t long before we ripped each others shirts off. Oh sweet Jesus – that 6 pack! ;)

Cody was such a passionate kisser and I was really enjoying getting to know him more – both on a physical and emotional level. The fact that he was respectful the entire night and only did what I felt comfortable with, made me like him that much more.

1 minute to midnight. We poured some more drinks and stood up to start the countdown.

10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.. 5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1..

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We clinked glasses and kissed. I couldn’t have asked to start 2016 off on a better note.

By 1:30PM – I got a text from my parents saying they just picked my sister up and were on their way home. Shit! I told Cody and he responded with.. “I love meeting parents. Let’s do this.”

I couldn’t believe how comfortable he was to meet my entire family on our second date. When they walked in – he shook hands with both my parents and started schmoozing with my dad right away about their passion for cooking. We all sat down for a bit and chatted. The whole situation felt surprisingly comfortable, which made me feel very relieved.

At 2:30 we were all exhausted – so my parents went up and it was time to say goodnight to Cody. I walked him to the door and we kissed one more time before he left.

SO – 2016 is definitely off to a good start. I am so happy to have a job that I’m passionate about, great family and friends, the most amazing blog followers, and I can’t wait to see where my love adventure will take me this year. Hope all of you will stay along for the ride!!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ryan and I lay in each others arms on my bed. Burning tears were streaming down my cheeks, as I burrowed my head into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, baby” he said, holding onto me tightly and kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes which were red and cloudy with tears.

Around 2AM I walked downstairs with him, gripping onto his shirt tightly until we got to the front door. He tilted my head up and wiped away my tears with his finger. “We will always be in each others lives… don’t forget that”. I nodded and we gave each other one last kiss before he walked out. I stood by the door sobbing, with an awful, heart-wrenching pain that I had never experienced before.


After 9 incredible months of dating Ryan from JSwipe, it was time to say farewell to one another. Ryan was accepted into a PhD program half way around the world, which will take about 4 years to complete.

We knew about 3 months in that he would be leaving to go. It wasn’t an easy time in our relationship. At that point we were developing strong feelings for one another, and I hated the though of him leaving me. It was a difficult decision, but Ryan knew he couldn’t turn it down. It was one of the most prestigious and competitive programs in his field of study.

I could have ended the relationship at that point to avoid the heartbreak and sadness later on. However, I knew I had to let my fears go – not willing to give up the special bond we had.

We carried forward and went on a countless number of dates. Between our lazy nights at home watching American Horror Story, going to The Zoo, spending the night at a fancy hotel for his birthday and slow dancing together at his sisters wedding – we made so many wonderful memories together.

Before we knew it, October arrived and it was inevitable to talk about the future of our relationship. It was a very tough and emotional discussion to have, but ultimately it was decided that we weren’t going to try and do long-distance. As much as we cared for one another deeply, it would be very tough to be apart from one another for so long. As well, I needed the opportunity to explore other relationships – as this is all very new to me… in order to compare and decide what exactly I want in a life time partner.

I can finally say to the whole blogosphere that I did find love, and it has been an absolutely incredible journey to get to this point (even though it meant I had to experience heart break). A part of me will always love Ryan – we plan on staying in each others lives forever. We’ve been talking frequently since he landed – and I look forward to video chatting with him in a day or two once he is all settled in.

Who knows – maybe he will end up being the one I’m meant to be with forever. For now, my journey continues, and I hope you will stay along for the ride.

My Valentines

Ryan asked to take me out last night for Valentine’s Day. I was pretty excited about it – as I’ve never been asked out on Valentine’s Day before.

He picked me up around 7:30pm (our usual Saturday night time). Conversation flowed so naturally. I was excited to tell him about my week – and hear about what he’d been up to. We sung along to car tunes like ‘Hotel California’ and ‘Take Me To Church’ while holding each others hand the majority of the car ride.

He parked on the street of the restaurant and once the meter was filled – we started walking over. Little did either us realize that it was -36 degrees outside. I was silly and didn’t wear gloves or a hat. Ryan offered me to wear his, but I felt bad taking them. I latched onto him for warmth but I was still feeling numb in my fingers and face. We looked at the building number to our left.. which was 800 and the restaurant was 200. Both of us made the decision to go back to the car and drive to a closer parking spot.

Finally, we arrived at a great middle eastern restaurant. Our food portions arrived and were humongous – enough to feed an army. Schnitzel, skewers, fries, salad, pita. After cleaning up our plates – Ryan asked about the small bag to my left with the “fluffy” paper coming out from the top, which was his cute way of referencing the tissue paper. I had bought him a little something and was so excited for him to open it. I passed it along and told him to open the card first. He seemed genuinely shocked and happy that I got him anything. The card was perfect – it said ‘I only have eyes for you’ on the front – and inside I wrote a cute, sappy message about how I’m so happy to have gotten matched with him and look forward to spending more days of the week together. Cue the ‘aww’… Then he took out the little stuffed monkey I bought which he was slightly embarrassed to hold but thought it was very cute.

He looked up at me and expressed how this was the nicest gift he’s ever received from any girlfriend. Did he just mention girlfriend? So I’m his current girlfriend? He then took out a LINDOR Chocolate box to give me – although he felt very silly and embarrassed to have gotten me something so small in comparison. I told him to stop it — just being with him that evening was all I needed. Cute the second ‘aww’.

Afterwards we walked over to a Jazz Bar which was a block away (thankfully). It was packed but we managed to get two seats near the bar which gave us a perfect view of the band.

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The room was filled with couples left and right. It was such a cute and intimate crowd. Ryan wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. We were enjoying the lovely instrumental sounds of the Jazz band.

I wasn’t sure what I was starting to feel – but gazing up at Ryan… I certainly was beginning to feel loved. Love is something I’ve never experienced before, and I’m not sure that feeling has really taken over yet. However, I certainly feel like I am with someone who genuinely cares about me and when I think about my master check list of what I want in a boyfriend – he pretty much crosses everything off. Love is a feeling that scares me – the idea of fully giving myself to someone and then being completely heart broken is always a risk. Taking that leap is something that is so scary for me, but the more I’m with him, the more I feel ready to risk it all.

We left around quarter to 12 and rushed over to his car – so we could blast the heater and get toasty again. It was en route home when we started to hear a police siren approaching behind us. Shit! Ryan realized it was directed at us, so we pulled over. Neither of us had any idea as to why, and he seemed a little shocked.

The police officer came up to his window and said that we had apparently made an illegal left turn. Neither of us had seen any prohibited turn signs – but apparently there was one. We searched through his mom’s car to find the insurance papers and passed them over. The officer returned (thankfully he was a friendly guy) and saw that Ryan had a clean record so he only received a ticket to pay. I felt horrible – it had turned out to be a very expensive evening for him. He handled the whole situation very well though – which I was happy to see. Always good to see how a guy handles those sorts of situations…

My rebel drove us the remainder of the way home and parked in my driveway. He asked to see me again Monday – since it’s Family Day (no work!) So that will most likely happen.

So I guess guys… I can admit I have a boyfriend. Suburban girl isn’t ready to say she’s found love just yet – and this blog isn’t going anywhere for a little while. However, it is extremely exciting to report after so many dates that have gone nowhere – I have finally met a pretty incredible guy.

I took the bold step to delete all my online dating profiles / apps yesterday. It felt very bizarre, knowing it won’t be part of my normal daily routine to check them. However, I believe it’s healthy moving forward in this relationship. I need to give it a chance. Wouldn’t you agree?

Hope everyone had a lovely day yesterday – whether with your loved one, friends or family.

Confidence

On October. 6th, I underwent orthognathic jaw surgery. I had both my lower and upper jaw repositioned along with getting my 4 wisdom teeth removed. Yes – ouch!! The procedure was done for both functional and cosmetic reasons. I committed to this process a year and a half ago and it’s surreal to think I’m in the recovery stage now (which explains why I haven’t posted any new dating adventures in awhile).

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Confidence has always been something that I’ve struggled with in my life. Don’t get me wrong, having gone on so many dates and building this blog has really brought my confidence level up. However, I still struggle with truly being happy with myself and have always been very self-critical as to how I appear in the public eye.

You know that old saying where you have to love yourself in order to be loved in return? Well it’s true. Perhaps this has been why I’ve never committed to a long-term relationship before. It’s always partly been fear, but also because I’ve known that I need to love myself and be fully comfortable in my own skin in order to let someone else in.

AB has been writing to check up on me every other day to see how I’m feeling. I even had the courage to send him a picture of my new profile and he said “Who is that beautiful girl?” I choked up a bit because it was the first time I truly accepted the fact that I did look beautiful. He’s so sweet, and really cares about me. However, I’m healing right now. The more I’ve been recovering, the less excited I’ve been to see him again… (don’t roll your eyes). I need time to reflect on what exactly I need in my life right now. I need to decide how much I really need to share in common with someone in order to progress a relationship.

I’m proving to myself how strong I am throughout this recovery and so excited for what the future has in store. I’ll be unveiling a new me to the public. It will be a bit daunting and scary, but can’t wait to love myself and others even more than before.

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