This might be ‘IT’

Apologies for the months of hiatus…

I’ve been on several cringe worthy dates since returning from South Africa… most of which were too dull to write about. At least until now.

Two weeks ago I matched with accounting boy on JSwipe. His profile description won me over; describing himself as a 6’1 accountant who was fondly proud of his baby face (as I am of mine!) We got right into talking about the benefits of looking younger than our actual age (aside from getting carded everywhere). After a few days, he asked for my number, and it wasn’t long after that we met up for drinks.

As I saw him walking towards me outside the restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised that he looked even cuter than his pictures. Definitely didn’t lie about the height…

We decided to sit on the patio, which had an awesome vibe. Over the course of the next few hours we drank, ate and bonded over the fact that we were born a year less two days apart from one another. Anyone take that as a sign? He also visited South Africa and went to the same cities I went to, so it was interesting to compare our experiences. Bees were buzzing around us left, right and center. He found it very amusing to see me ducking around every time one came near me, but he kept me calm and distracted… with his dashingly cute dimples, and as I’d like to call ‘hypnotizing brown eyes’. When the bill arrived, he paid for my food and drink without hesitation, even though I offered. We proceeded to walk into the subway together. As my train was arriving, he said something along the lines of “this was fun” and then kissed me on the cheek. Such a gentleman, right?

I took him paying and kissing me on the cheek as signs he was interested, but eager to play the game, I wasn’t going to be the first to reach out. I needed to see if he was actually interested. Sure enough, the next day he wrote saying he had a good time, and asked if I’d like to go out again. For the first time in awhile, I was feeling optimistic about someone asking me on a second date. It’s usually been one sided, and so to have mutual feelings with someone was a GREAT feeling.

That was last Friday. It was a busy work week for both of us, so couldn’t hang out again until… last night.

We decided to go see Stephen King’s new movie called IT. I was beyond terrified that I would have clown nightmares for the rest of my life, but I was looking forward to grabbing his hand during the scary scenes. Apparently he was just as fearful as me, but said he was “willing to give it a shot” (aka wanting to grab my hand as well).

We first did a candy run at a grocery store — cos as we all know.. theaters rip us off! I thought it was cute that he was somewhat fearful of taking the outside candy into the movie theater, even though I reassured him that everything would be okay.

When we got to the theater, as predicted, no one bothered checking my bag to find the candy. He led us right up to the very back row. We got cozy in our seats, and eagerly ripped open both bags of mini eggs and sour keys. As the movie started rolling, I shifted my legs towards his, and consciously placed my right hand on my right leg. I figured when a scary scene popped up – he would reach for my hand. About 10 minutes in, the evil clown bit off a child’s arm, and without thinking I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder for comfort. He jokingly covered my eyes with his right hand.

We broke the touch barrier! Oh, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed with his upper arm muscle. About half an hour in, we both jumped in our seats, and proceeded to laugh and stare into each others eyes. Next thing I knew, he leaned in and kissed me. I’m usually not the PDA type, but I was surprisingly into it. For the remainder of the movie we held hands, and had short make out sessions in between every few scenes. I felt on cloud nine.

At the end of the movie, he suggested we go to a Korean restaurant nearby to get drinks. Conversation was effortless. I said to him that it felt like we’d known each other for much longer than 5 hours. He laughed, agreed, and said it was a good thing.

En route back to the subway, we walked by a fountain and he asked if I wanted to sit down on the ledge for a bit. I knew what that was code for. So sitting, turned into making out, which went on for about ten minutes. He told me I was a good kisser (I mean… I better be after having gone on so many dates!) Next thing I knew his hands moved down and squeezed my bum. He told me I had a great ass. I replied, “well that’s where all the bagels go, so I guess I shouldn’t stop eating them”. We burst into laughter. Neither of us wanted to leave, but it was already 11:30pm and we both had work the next day.

In the subway, we kissed for a bit longer until my train arrived. We promised to swap a few of our fave songs with one another, so I will end this post with one of the songs he sent me today. It’s incredibly catchy… and I can’t help but think the lyrics speak to his actual feelings.

We will both be celebrating our birthday this week, and have already planned to go out and celebrate. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

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Real Estate Guy: Part 2

I recently got back from The Bahamas – which was the perfect remedy for escaping the cold Canadian Winter. I’d give anything to be back on the beach with a rum punch in my hand, while getting cat called by the Bahamian men…

In the midst of all the last minute packing and finalizing work projects, I forgot to provide everyone with an update on Real Estate Guy (who I talked about in my last post here).

I ended up driving over to his brother’s birthday party around 11PM and REG greeted me at the doorway. I could see the party was already in full gear; there were at least 20-30 people on the main floor. Some were playing beer pong, and others were busy putting together the final touches on his brothers birthday cake. He took me around and introduced me to all his friends – including his roommates and his brothers girlfriends. Everyone was very friendly! I was overall feeling very comfortable with the setting and surprisingly didn’t feel too overwhelmed by the number of people.

After about an hour – we went downstairs to the basement, and there I discovered another large group of people – who I found out were his brothers friends. When he introduced me to his brother – we gave each other a friendly hello, and that was it. I was so relieved his brother didn’t mention anything about us going on a date years ago…

Later on REG gave me a tour of his place – we laughed over all his embarrassing childhood photos on the walls. The tour ended in his old bedroom. It was definitely your typical boys room – with playboy model posters on the wall and all his sports trophies lined up on his chest of drawers. We lay down on his bed and stared into each others eyes. He just couldn’t stop smiling as he stared at me and I couldn’t help but giggle. He kept asking, “what’s so funny?” and I kept saying… “nothing, you’re just a really sweet guy”.

We started kissing and… I could feel something wasn’t right. I wasn’t feeling any sort of spark or excitement when he kissed me. I thought to myself — it’s probably just the setting. It wasn’t very romantic – and I felt a bit uncomfortable being there for too long while his friends were still downstairs. So I cut the kissing and cuddling session short, and we went downstairs to join his friends for a bit longer. At 3AM he walked me to the door, we kissed goodnight and with that I left.

We saw each other again last Sunday. The evening started with dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant. It was our third date and I thought conversation would maybe get a bit deeper. I was still unsure about where him and his ex stood (as 2/3 of his Facebook photos were of him and her). However, it just stayed surface level. Afterwards we went to see a movie at a theater nearby. About half way in he reached to hold my hand. I did feel something when he held my hand – which I thought was a good sign.

When the movie ended, he drove me home. I thanked him for a really nice evening. He told me I should come back to his place the following weekend for a hot tub and wine date and I nodded saying we’d speak more about it later. He then leaned in again and kissed me. I tried to completely relax and clear my head, and be in the moment. I closed me eyes and as we were kissing, but I still felt nothing. I felt… awful.

Perhaps part of me wished he had a bit of a play hard to get / bad side. I know I need someone who is sweet and sincere, but I crave that element of mystery and danger. Passion and chemistry are things you need to build in a relationship, and if I wasn’t feeling anything by date 3, I didn’t feel it would be fair to lead him on any further. It’s been almost a week since our date, and neither of us haven’t written to the other.

Another blogger I follow suggested you should wait at least a week in between dates when you first start seeing someone. I feel like there is something to that. Maybe it was too much too soon, and that was part of what turned me off. What are your thoughts on this?

So here I am again, back to square 1. Months away from reaching a quarter of a century, and trying to stay as optimistic as possible that my prince charming is out there somewhere. I still have a lot of adventures planned for the rest of this year, so I have faith that he is out there!

Disco Fever

Ryan and I went out last night. Our fourth consecutive weekly date – meaning it’s been a month since we first started seeing each other! Despite the horrible snow storm that hit my city, he still picked me up and we headed over to a local bowling alley. As soon as we arrived to our lane, the glow in the dark / disco lights kicked in and I was glowing head to toe. We gave ourselves gangster display names and picked up our bowling balls. Our first few turns were equally horrible and embarrassing – with one gutter ball after the next… although we just laughed it off. I even did the granny style bowl for one round, and still, no pins got knocked down.

Anyway, by the fourth turn we got into the swing of things. Each time there was a strike, we gave each other a kiss. Even though I’m not a huge fan of PDA – there were couples to our left and right acting the same way around each other, so it didn’t bother me whatsoever.

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We bowled for an hour – which was quite a work out! Ryan then drove us to a dessert cafe. We decided to split the New York Cheesecake with fruit (it seems like cheesecake is becoming our signature dessert to share). Ryan shared that he met up with two other girls from JSwipe before me — which thankfully didn’t work out. He asked if I’d been on any other online dates or if I had any interesting stories to share. What was I supposed to say?! I’ve only been on about 80 first dates or so… I could have easily talked about the goose hunter, the time I though I met my perfect match over LinkedIn or perhaps one of my awkward Tinder exchanges, but I simply said I’d also been on a few dates and left it at that for now.

We played with each others fingers and stared into each others eyes for quite awhile. Ryan said that he missed lying in bed with me, which put a huge grin on my face. I told him we should do it again soon – although it’s difficult having to coordinate around our parents schedules / when they would be out of the house. I joked around saying we should take a trip to Niagara Falls next weekend and he replied saying “let’s do it”. He seemed pretty serious too. I told him I was down. Next weekend is also Valentine’s Day – so that would be pretty cute for us to spend the weekend away together. Anyway – it was just casual talk and we will see if he brings it up again.

He dropped me off at home and before going inside – we had a sweet and passionate make out session to Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake. I exited the car just a little bit on Cloud 9. He texted me when he got home saying he arrived back safely and to have a good night. I wrote back saying goodnight and even added a little pink heart into the message. ;)

Several of my friends think I may need to soon change my blog title to ‘Suburban Girl Found Love’ – but I don’t feel I’m there just yet. It’s still early into the relationship and I don’t want to jinx anything. I was thinking if he asked me out on Valentine’s Day – it would be the perfect opportunity to figure out whether we were exclusive or not. I’m not ready to put all my eggs in one basket unless he tells me he’s willing to focus on me, and only me. Would my fellow bloggers agree?

When the Parents are Out

Ryan and I had been flirtatiously texting back and forth since our dinner and movie date. In fact – the following day, he wrote “ya… it probably won’t be good for you to wait another eight days to see me again like before”.

I knew the upcoming week would be crazy for me at work. So I suggested he come over for dinner on Saturday, as my parents were going out for the evening. He was all for it so plans were locked in.

Throughout the week I created a ‘sexy evening playlist’. Knowing that Ryan was potentially coming up to my room, I had to spend some serious time creating it in order to set the mood. 2.5 hours later – I was quite satisfied with the list. Here are a few songs that are great to take note of:

Earned It AND What You Need – The Weeknd. Thinking About You – Frank Ocean. Hold On We’re Going Home – Drake. Crave You [Adventure Club Dubstep Remix] – Flight Facilities. Love Me Again – John Newman. Anything Sam Smith. Anything John Legend. (If I missed any essentials – please share them!)

Saturday arrived and I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. After thoroughly examining the groceries in my fridge, I settled on making Chicken Parmesan, beans and pasta. Simple enough! I cleaned up my room and threw the majority of teddy bears in my bed drawer. Added some gloss to my lips and spritzed some perfume.

Ryan arrived at 7:30 looking handsome as ever. We proceeded into the kitchen and he seemed quite impressed with how I laid the table and the display of food. I was quite proud of myself – considering I’m not the best cook in the world. We enjoyed each others company over dinner – although I knew in the back of our minds we were both wanting to finish quickly so we could get past the awkward sexual tension.

After cleaning up, I offered to give him a tour of my house – which he happily agreed to.

We walked upstairs. “So here’s my washroom… oh and this is my bedroom”.

Ryan started walking around examining the certificates on my walls and then came across the guitar in the corner of my room. I picked it up and asked for him to play me something. Without using a pick – he started strumming and played beautiful melodies… which were quite mesmerizing. I asked for him to teach me some strumming patterns. So he wrapped his one arm around me and maneuvered my fingers over the strings, and as much as I was trying to pay attention, it was hard with his lips so close to me.

I tried strumming – but the sound wasn’t right. He proceeded to say – “if you don’t get it right the next time you try, I should get a kiss”. After he said that, I damn well wasn’t even going to try to make it sound right. After an unsuccessful second attempt, I placed the guitar down, turned on my playlist and dimmed the lights. I sat back down on my bed next to him.

“So about that kiss…”

As we were making out quite heavily – he noticed something in the corner of his eye. My cat had walked in and was giving him the evil eye, as if protecting me from this intruder. We continued kissing but he couldn’t stop laughing at the awkwardness of having my cat watching so attentively. So I grudgingly got up, placed her out of my room, shut the door, and the focus was back on me.

Almost 3 hours later I get a phone call from my younger sister saying she was on her way home from a friends party. I told him he was welcome to stay to meet her – so we hustled to get back to a presentable state and went downstairs. The meet and greet was very short. They simply said “hi, nice to meet to you” to one another, and then as any typical teenager would – she ran up to her room. Ryan and I made some waffles and ice cream and finished off the night by watching Saturday Night Live with his arm wrapped around me. He left at 12 – as I knew my parents were heading back around 12:30.

Being around him felt so comfortable. He’s sweet, respectful and a complete gentleman.

Ryan told me he’s mentioned me to his mom – so I’m thinking that’s a good sign. My family knows about him too. So am I off the market yet? I don’t know… I think I need a few more dates to evaluate. At the very least… I’m definitely thinking I will have a special Valentines this year.

Elevator Lockdown

Last week, I received an open invitation from Advertising Boy to come over to his apartment to go swimming. I decided to take him up on that offer yesterday…

AB met me at the bus stop early afternoon and as soon as I stepped off, we embraced each other. We entered his building and he proceeded to take us up to the 36th floor. The first thing he did was give me a tour of his place. It was a beautiful apartment – one bedroom, kitchenette, living room and bathroom. He then took us out on his balcony and my jaw dropped. It was the most breathtaking view – you could see the CN Tower, and he overlooked the waterfront where you could see all the boats sailing over the crystal clear water. I could have seriously stared out at that view for hours.

We hung out at his place for about half an hour – passing the time by playing a few rounds of magnetic darts and jamming to some songs on his electric guitar. We then decided to head down to the indoor pool to go for a swim. My goal was to pull my hair up in a cute, messy bun so it wouldn’t look like a scary mess later on in the day. So I got to the change room, grabbed my one hair elastic, pulled my hair up high – and all of a sudden … it snaps. Shit! I had a minor freak out session but after a few deep breaths I took it as a sign that I should just let it go au natural.

He looked pretty damn good in a pair of swim trunks, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. We were the only ones in the pool area. AB dove right into the pool and the water glistened off his beautifully tanned skin. I took the safer route and entered by the steps. The water was beautiful. I slowly started swimming my way over to him. When we reached each other I held onto him and just as we were getting comfortable we heard the doors open to one of the change rooms. A family of 4 walked in with 2 young kids. SHIT! What a mood kill. I wanted my first kiss with him to happen then and there, and knew that wasn’t going to be. AB also seemed disappointed. Still, that didn’t stop us from having fun. There were lots of splashes and harmless play for a good fifteen minutes. Then we made our way over to the hot tub. That’s when things got a bit more steamy. We held hands and our feet were interlocked. I lay my head on his shoulder. The heat alongside his touch was perfect, and I gazed up at him thinking there could only be one thing to make that moment even better. We looked right at each other, but knew that as long as those kids were there, we couldn’t do anything. Those darn kids! About ten minutes later, AB suggested we see if the outdoor hot tub was free. We made our way over there and were sad to see that it was already full. I suggested we head back up to his room, get changed – go to a carnival that was going on close by and then maybe go for a late night swim. He liked that idea.

AB took us towards the elevator and we were both still dripping with water from the pool. Our clothes were drenched and I could tell my hair was already turning into a frizz ball. We walked into the elevator and it was just us… finally. As soon as the doors closed we looked up at each other, he pulled me close to him and gave me a passionate kiss. That lasted a good 8 floors long. Then we had to wait for another elevator. Got in, doors closed – round 2! I was enjoying this game a lot.

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We arrived on the 36th floor and as soon as we got into his apartment and the door shut behind us we pounced on each other. After we made out for a bit longer, he asked if I wanted to move into his bedroom. My body wanted to say yes… but my head urged me to slow down. I was nervous to rush into anything too quickly – especially since we worked together. I was mainly afraid of getting my heart broken so soon and having to face this man every day afterwards… and it was only our second real date. He agreed to go at a pace I was comfortable with.

We ate some pizza for dinner and then proceeded to the carnival. He had his arm around me as we walked over and I was happy to see he was so comfortable with kissing in public. When we got through the gates, he took me by the hand and led me through the massive crowds of people. AB won a Tweety bird prize for me at one of the carnival games, which was very sweet. We then went on the Ferris Wheel. It was actually my first time on a Ferris Wheel – and I’m not a big fan of heights, but being with him made me feel safe and I really enjoyed it. AB then convinced me to go on a crazy ride – this large boat that swings back and forth like a metronome, high up in the air. I am not a rides girl, so going on it was a big deal for me. Even though my stomach felt like it was dropping every time we plunged downwards, I loved the rush, squeezing his arm while I screamed at the top of my lungs. Hearing his laugh next to me warmed my heart.

Around 8:30pm we walked back over to his place so I could grab my swim bag to take back home. When we arrived, both of us were pretty tired so we sat on the couch, kissed some more, and lay in each others arms for half an hour. We were so comfortable and I could have easily fallen asleep. However, I managed to pull myself up and he proceeded to walk me back to the bus stop.

As the bus arrived, we shared a passionate kiss goodnight.

Some breaking news: on this, the day after, I just got off the phone with AB – who shared that he had been let go from the place at which we both work(ed). I didn’t know who to be more sorry for. Him for being let go, or me – at the idea that I wouldn’t see his gorgeous smile everyday. Maybe, however, this is a blessing in disguise. What do you think?

What can come of Kissing an Origami Frog?

I slept in this morning, fully intending to stay in my pajamas all day and work on my Thesis project. This was until 2pm, when my Facebook prince charming (see last post for reference) sent me a text message asking what I was up to today. I told him I had nothing much planned aside from lounging around at home. He wrote:

Boring.

I asked what exciting plans he had for the day. He was just hanging out and had no plans either. I asked if he wanted to meet up and he agreed! As we were trying to arrange plans, I had that giddy and nervous feeling in my stomach. I could barely eat my cream cheese bagel as I was trying hard to think of a place we could meet in between where he and I live (since I’m in the suburbs and he lives mid-town).

After some back and forth of trying to find a good spot, I decided it would just be better if I took the subway to meet him mid-town since there was more to do there and we could walk around / grab a drink. I then took the bold move of asking him to call my cell phone so we could confirm where to meet. After chowing down the rest of my bagel I quickly ran upstairs to pick out an outfit. I was shaking… God knows why. Probably a combination of nerves and my mother always turning the heat down. As I took a few options out of my closet, my phone rang and it was him! I took a deep breath and answered the phone.

He had a deep, sexy voice. Although we only talked briefly, I felt very relaxed and at ease. We agreed to meet right at the subway station. As soon as we got off the phone I zoned into primping and priming for the next half hour and then headed straight to the subway.

I arrived right on time and was pleased with navigating my way through the station, as I’m pretty directionally challenged. I stood nonchalantly against a wall in a waiting area above ground. Thankfully it was indoors so I didn’t have to bear the cold while waiting. I called him and he told me he was walking over and would be 5 more minutes. I absolutely hate waiting for the guy to arrive as it makes me feel ten times more nervous, but I gave him a cool response and said, “no worries”.

When he walked through the door I recognized him instantly. He appeared just as cute as in his Facebook pictures. Had thick, messy hair, black rimmed glasses and greyish-blue eyes. When he approached me to hug hello I recognized we were actually about the same height. I had thought he was taller, but it wasn’t an issue. He suggested we go to the Aroma Espresso Bar around the corner so away we went.

When we got to the cash register, they took his order first and when they asked if he wanted to get anything else, he didn’t look over at me. We ended up just paying separately. Typically, I’d take this as a red flag. However, he had previously opened up to me in regards to having to take care of himself since he was 13 and how money was tight for him so I was okay with paying for myself. He ordered an iced cappuccino and I got a hot chocolate. They each came with a little milk chocolate which he was so excited about. It was very cute; like a little giddy boy getting chocolate as a rare treat.

We sat down and conversation flowed so well. Usually I feel uncomfortable having coffee dates and having to sit face to face but there was not one awkward pause. We listened to each other and seemed genuinely interested in what each other had to say. He asked me lots of questions about what I did and seemed very impressed. He really opened up to me about having to become so independent at such a young age. We talked about religion and how that factored into his family dynamics. I was completely fascinated and had such admiration for all his hard work. He had to live on his own since a very young age and with that pay his own bills, do his own laundry, take classes and work a part-time job as many hours as he could get. Despite living on his own since a young age he still has a relationship with his family and has such an optimistic and adventurous outlook on life.

Not only was he incredibly good looking, but he also had a nerdy side to him which I found so attractive. He told me he knew all the N64 Mario Kart and Mario Party tricks which is a huge turn on for me since it was one of the few video games I grew up playing. He then made me a tiny origami frog out of a TTC bus transfer ticket and in return I made him a fortune teller made out of Kleenex. Of course, the giddy school girl in me filled it in and wrote little messages like:

Within the next week, you will make the girl across from you a home cooked Spaghetti meal.

He then went on to show me some magic tricks and I was just becoming more impressed with this guy. He then requested for more Aroma chocolates and was so serious about it that I couldn’t help but grin. They brought over about ten of them to our table. He gave me three. I sarcastically told him how generous he was. We couldn’t stop smiling. We then discussed how I’d help him design some self-promotional branding materials within the next week (of course, he’d need to be creative with what he’d give me in return, aside from the origami frog).

Two and a half hours later we walked around and explored Indigo. At the 3 hour mark it was already 6:30 pm and he said it was probably time to get home. I agreed, so we headed towards the subway together so he could see me off.

Update: he called 2 hours ago! I was surprised to see his name pop up but excitedly threw my laptop down and ran upstairs. He wanted to know what my email was so he could send over what he wanted designed. We also talked about what we had for dinner. He didn’t have any! I felt bad and wished I could go over there to make him some Kraft Dinner (my specialty).

Who know where this will go but I’m looking forward to seeing where it’s headed. What’s your prediction?

I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud!

Since I got back from vacation, I feel as though I’ve been cursed. First, I had a very hard time getting back into my work routine (although who wouldn’t after having just spent 7 days in the Caribbean?) Next, the guy I’ve been dating has backed off and hasn’t reached out to hang out since I got home. I never even received a ‘welcome back’ text or call from him. Just to top everything off, I’ve come down with a wicked cold and have been battling with a sore throat that will just not go away. Oh, and did I mention I have a crucial design conference coming up this Saturday?

Not that the past week and a half has been all bad. It’s been nice to catch up with my close friends again and I’ve also gone in for a job interview. Unfortunately, I didn’t get the paid internship but they did rave about my portfolio which is a boost to my confidence.

I’m just mainly upset about how this guy I’ve been smitten over the last few weeks has slowly been backing off. I did understand from the beginning he had recently come out of a long relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious right away. However, my feelings were developing fast for him. I didn’t want them to, but he was really the first guy I’ve felt such an intense physical attraction/connection with. On top of that I always felt comfortable being around him and besides his child like immaturity at times, I loved it because it got me to loosen up and just live in the moment.

I even bought him a little token from one of the islands I visited. I’m upset that I thought about him so much, since clearly he hasn’t felt the same. It’s just hard to wrap my head around that since I hung out with him the day before I left for vacation. He gave me absolutely no signals that he wasn’t interested. We went tobogganing on a hill (that should probably be blocked off due to safety hazards), and then went to buy some burgers. Before getting the burgers we kissed for awhile in his car and I really felt like we were at a good pace in our relationship and felt hopeful about where things could go. After buying the burgers, he told me he had to drop me off (we couldn’t stay to eat) since his mom needed the car back and he had his older brother’s birthday party to attend. I wasn’t upset he didn’t invite me to come with, as we still weren’t exclusive. However, I would have loved to spend more time with him.

So I fed him french fries as we drove home as we blared 102.1 The Edge and I just felt… happy.

He kissed me goodnight and I got home wishing I didn’t have to leave for vacation so soon.

Now that I’m back I can’t help but question if there’s a new girl in his life feeding him french fries. I saw he was on the dating site the other day which was a bit upsetting but again, we weren’t exclusive so why should I be upset. I messaged him several days after I got back telling him I was home and he’s been making casual conversation. Even still asking me questions so not just providing one line responses. So what’s the deal??

I feel I deserve better. I want a guy who will take me on actual dates and won’t play mind games with me. However, I feel like I need closure from all of this and trying to figure out the best way to do it without scaring him off. Any suggestions? Also – any fast working cold remedies?