This might be ‘IT’

Apologies for the months of hiatus…

I’ve been on several cringe worthy dates since returning from South Africa… most of which were too dull to write about. At least until now.

Two weeks ago I matched with accounting boy on JSwipe. His profile description won me over; describing himself as a 6’1 accountant who was fondly proud of his baby face (as I am of mine!) We got right into talking about the benefits of looking younger than our actual age (aside from getting carded everywhere). After a few days, he asked for my number, and it wasn’t long after that we met up for drinks.

As I saw him walking towards me outside the restaurant, I was pleasantly surprised that he looked even cuter than his pictures. Definitely didn’t lie about the height…

We decided to sit on the patio, which had an awesome vibe. Over the course of the next few hours we drank, ate and bonded over the fact that we were born a year less two days apart from one another. Anyone take that as a sign? He also visited South Africa and went to the same cities I went to, so it was interesting to compare our experiences. Bees were buzzing around us left, right and center. He found it very amusing to see me ducking around every time one came near me, but he kept me calm and distracted… with his dashingly cute dimples, and as I’d like to call ‘hypnotizing brown eyes’. When the bill arrived, he paid for my food and drink without hesitation, even though I offered. We proceeded to walk into the subway together. As my train was arriving, he said something along the lines of “this was fun” and then kissed me on the cheek. Such a gentleman, right?

I took him paying and kissing me on the cheek as signs he was interested, but eager to play the game, I wasn’t going to be the first to reach out. I needed to see if he was actually interested. Sure enough, the next day he wrote saying he had a good time, and asked if I’d like to go out again. For the first time in awhile, I was feeling optimistic about someone asking me on a second date. It’s usually been one sided, and so to have mutual feelings with someone was a GREAT feeling.

That was last Friday. It was a busy work week for both of us, so couldn’t hang out again until… last night.

We decided to go see Stephen King’s new movie called IT. I was beyond terrified that I would have clown nightmares for the rest of my life, but I was looking forward to grabbing his hand during the scary scenes. Apparently he was just as fearful as me, but said he was “willing to give it a shot” (aka wanting to grab my hand as well).

We first did a candy run at a grocery store — cos as we all know.. theaters rip us off! I thought it was cute that he was somewhat fearful of taking the outside candy into the movie theater, even though I reassured him that everything would be okay.

When we got to the theater, as predicted, no one bothered checking my bag to find the candy. He led us right up to the very back row. We got cozy in our seats, and eagerly ripped open both bags of mini eggs and sour keys. As the movie started rolling, I shifted my legs towards his, and consciously placed my right hand on my right leg. I figured when a scary scene popped up – he would reach for my hand. About 10 minutes in, the evil clown bit off a child’s arm, and without thinking I grabbed his arm and put my head on his shoulder for comfort. He jokingly covered my eyes with his right hand.

We broke the touch barrier! Oh, and I definitely wasn’t disappointed with his upper arm muscle. About half an hour in, we both jumped in our seats, and proceeded to laugh and stare into each others eyes. Next thing I knew, he leaned in and kissed me. I’m usually not the PDA type, but I was surprisingly into it. For the remainder of the movie we held hands, and had short make out sessions in between every few scenes. I felt on cloud nine.

At the end of the movie, he suggested we go to a Korean restaurant nearby to get drinks. Conversation was effortless. I said to him that it felt like we’d known each other for much longer than 5 hours. He laughed, agreed, and said it was a good thing.

En route back to the subway, we walked by a fountain and he asked if I wanted to sit down on the ledge for a bit. I knew what that was code for. So sitting, turned into making out, which went on for about ten minutes. He told me I was a good kisser (I mean… I better be after having gone on so many dates!) Next thing I knew his hands moved down and squeezed my bum. He told me I had a great ass. I replied, “well that’s where all the bagels go, so I guess I shouldn’t stop eating them”. We burst into laughter. Neither of us wanted to leave, but it was already 11:30pm and we both had work the next day.

In the subway, we kissed for a bit longer until my train arrived. We promised to swap a few of our fave songs with one another, so I will end this post with one of the songs he sent me today. It’s incredibly catchy… and I can’t help but think the lyrics speak to his actual feelings.

We will both be celebrating our birthday this week, and have already planned to go out and celebrate. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Advertisements

A million miles away P.2

Continuation of ‘A million miles away‘…

Me: Safe travels! Let me know when you’re here.

SA Boy: You know it.

Picture he attached upon arrival at airport

SA boy was here, in Canada! It didn’t seem real. We had been messaging and calling one another over Whatsapp since the beginning of February. The thought of finally getting to meet him face to face was incredibly exciting.

He wrote early the next day, saying he was pretty busy with family activities during the day – but could hang out later in the evening for dinner, with the potential of joining him and his cousins afterwards at a bar.

We decided to meet up at 8pm for a late dinner. I was disappointed to learn that he was just going to be having a guys night out with his cousins. That meant we would only have 2 hours together before he had to meet them, but that wasn’t going to put a damper on my evening.

I arrived at the restaurant right at 8, and ran straight to the washroom to freshen up. I awkwardly sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes, eagerly waiting for him to say “I’m here”. However, SA boy didn’t appear to be receiving my messages, and I was developing a pit in my stomach.. thinking that he wasn’t going to show up. Around 10 after I walked out of the washroom back towards the front entrance. As I’m walking, someone stands up from their table and taps my shoulder. Startled, I look over and it was him!

He grinned and showcased the most beautiful dimples I’ve ever seen. He bent his 6’4 stature over to hug me hello. I must have been blushing like a little school girl. Then he started talking…. and my whole body melted. It was one thing to hear his sexy South African accent over the phone, but to have the whole package *ha ha* in front of me, I just couldn’t take it.

Our time together whizzed by. We ordered some drinks and both got the same pasta dish. We were joking around about South African vs. Canadian lingo. Like did you know that in SA, they call street lights robots? Also, trunks here are called boots there! Before I knew it his cousins were writing, asking where he was.

He was quite the gentleman and pulled out his wallet to pay, but I insisted it was on me since he was a guest in my country. He then walked me to the subway. It was so cute… his teeth were chattering the entire walk over (they don’t get snow in SA, and the coldest it ever gets is about 5 degrees). I looped my arm through his, joking around saying I’d keep him warm. He clearly took that as an opening to place his arm around me and pull us closer together.

When we got to the subway, he ordered an Uber and we talked about potentially meeting up once more the next day before I left to go out of town. I looked up at him, our eyes locked, and like out of a fairy tale, we kissed. I completely blocked out the people walking around us – and soaked in those next 2 minutes before he had to go. He was an amazing kisser. ;)

We tried to meet up again the next day, but sadly the timing didn’t work. We agreed that when I go visit there, we would have more time to spend together.

I’m trying to stay realistic. He lives half way around the world. July is also a fair time away. I’ll keep my search going in the mean time, but rest assured there will most certainly be a part 3 to this story. Potentially part 4, if this fairy tale has more chapters.

A million miles away

Well it’s already two months into the new year, and I’ve only had one or two potential matches. None of which were exciting enough to report. Until now…

This year marks my mothers 40th year since she immigrated to Toronto from South Africa, so we felt it was the right time for us to go visit as a family and explore the part of the country she grew up in. So in a few months, we will be flying almost half way around the world (a total of 21 hours to be exact)… for what I’m sure will be quite an emotional and exhilarating trip.

As we started looking into our trip a month ago, I had a crazy idea: why not see what the guys are like in South Africa? So I hopped onto JSwipe, changed my location setting, and low and behold was presented with a few dozen new profiles of Jewish South African hunks. I knew my chances were slim of getting matched with any of them as they could see I lived so far away — but still swiped right on a few profiles.

The next day, I got a match! SA boy looked absolutely dreamy in his photos — beautiful dimples and the most perfect smile. You know you’ve matched with a guy from Africa when he has profile pictures with parrots on his shoulders and elephant trunks wrapped around his body.

SG (Suburban Girl): “Want to be my tour guide when I come visit?”

SA Boy: “Sure! Gladly.”

SG: What do you for fun in SA?

SA Boy: “You mean when not racing cheetahs? ;P There’s plenty to do, but like anywhere in the world we spend way too much time watching series.”

We started bonding over several TV show series, and he told me about all the romantic things we could do in SA when I came to visit — like going surfing and watching the sunset on the beach. I was already swooning. Fast forward a few messages later…

SA Boy: “Ironically, you might be the one being the tour guide first! I’m actually going to be in your city for a wedding in March.”

I couldn’t believe it. Of all the men I could have matched with in South Africa… he was already planning to come visit here for the first time — for his cousins wedding! I leaped in excitement.

Despite the 7 hour time difference, we’ve been managing to write lengthy messages back and forth to one another. The more I’m discovering about him, the more excited I am about meeting him in person. The countdown is officially on until we meet for the first time. Of course the reality is that he does live so far away, and it’s truly a fairy tale to think that it could end up working out and one of us moves to live with the other person. However, I am truly a romantic at heart, and you never know where life will lead you next.

What are your thoughts? Would fellow romantics route for this to go somewhere?

Hold tight for part 2 of this story.

Speed Dating Adventures: Round 1

Speed dating originated in 1998, and was set up by an American rabbi, as a way for young, single Jewish people to meet one another. Back in the nineties, speed dating events attracted large diverse crowds. But as the years have gone on, the popularity of speed dating has dwindled potentially as a result of people primarily finding their partners through apps.

Although it’s not as common anymore (at least for my age group) – the thought of having up to 15 mini-dates seemed very exciting. I mean, who wouldn’t want to experience being ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’ at least once?

My silent prayer was answered when my sweet Jewish mother purchased me 2 speed dating Groupons through 25dates.com as part of my birthday gift. I mean… do you think she was sending me a subtle hint?

So I went online to sign my friend and I up. Neither of us had any expectations – other than to at the very least to have a good laugh. We did agree to go in with an open mind, and try to take the whole experience seriously.

The event took place at a vodka bar & lounge. The ambiance was very nice and relaxing. We signed in, were each given a name tag with a specific number and a score card sheet. The first half an hour or so was just waiting around for the other 10-15 guys and girls to get there… we were one of the first few. It was painfully awkward waiting around to start, so I went up to the bar to get a drink, and as I returned back to the couch — I noticed a cute guy sitting there. We smiled at each other.

Him: “Hi – you look very familiar.”

Me: “Actually.. you as well.”

Him: “Have we been talking on JSwipe?”

I was so shocked… I knew I recognized him from somewhere. We had matched several times on more than one app and for some reason or another our conversation never led to meeting up. Anyway it was almost meant to be I thought, that both of us had signed up for this event!

Another guy had started talking to my friend – so I wasted no time getting to know JSwipe guy even more – and we pretty much had a 15 minute head start on our 5 minute speed date. He seemed quite normal and mature, and we had a bit in common. He said to me I looked a lot better in person than on the app… which I thought to take as a compliment, but also just goes to show that sometimes the pictures you post don’t always do you complete justice.

We pretty much told each other we were marking a ‘yes’ next to both of our names. It was a great start to the evening! Unfortunately, it only went downhill after that…

Kevin the line cook was one of my favourites – for all the wrong reasons. Mainly for entertainment. He jumped right into telling me that he was ‘a masochist who enjoyed getting hurt’… pointing out all the burn marks and scars down his arm. It only got better from there. When I asked him to tell me something random about himself, he said that he considered cherries to be very unsexy.

favim-com-awesome-cheery-cherries-delicioud-592855

When I asked why – he told me because he didn’t like the shape (red flag #1… thought to myself: So do you prefer the shape of a banana?) and he said also because they lower your sex drive. Who knew about that one? Anyway, with no hesitancy, I marked down ‘no’.

On the topic of food – Kevin the software manager asked me what I thought about Pineapples. Because of course, that’s something I think about on a regular, day-to-day basis.

Me: “They’re pretty sweet. What do you think?”

Kevin: “Delicious. They’re actually known to make everything taste so much better.” Throws in a wink at the end.

Grabbed my score card and marked ‘no’.

Aside from those, most of the conversations I had were pretty dry and I didn’t feel any chemistry, so by the end of the night – there was only one box marked ‘yes’ for the JSwipe guy. I hate to say, but most were quite socially awkward (which is not a bad thing) but they had absolutely no clue how to talk to woman.

Fast forward to 11PM. I’m about to go to sleep and I get a new Bumble alert on my phone. Oh my god… I still had JSwipe guy listed as a match. So for the next hour we continued writing back and forth. So much for waiting two days (at which time I would get an alert from 25dates) to find out if he was interested. Conversation was mostly great, but he was being overly flirty. To the point of saying things like I’m a naughty girl for following him to a speed dating event, and that he noticed I have a really nice bum. I was surprised he was talking this way after our great conversation that night.

I responded asking if he was examining me when I was at the bar. He replied…

“Admittedly I was. A good doctor always has to examine his patients.” (No, he’s not a doctor).

I responded jokingly asking if he had a PhD. He replied…

“Yeah, I guess I’ll have to be more thorough next time”.

Anyway — he wants to see me tomorrow evening (3 days after the event). He suggested a movie and wine night at his place, which I think everyone knows what that implies. I wrote saying I would be open to going to see a movie in a theatre and maybe grabbing a drink after. He liked that idea, but after having spoken with my friends about it… I’m feeling like he may just be a playboy looking for a good time. Thinking I may need to be honest about what I’m looking for before meeting up. Thoughts?

More adventures coming your way soon.

P.S. According to Toronto.com’s ‘100 Places to Pickup in Toronto‘ article – speed dating is pretty high up on the list of new ways to meet and mingle with other young professionals. I plan on checking out several of the other venues on this list over the next year, and will try to shift more away from all the online apps. Take a look, you may be inspired.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ryan and I lay in each others arms on my bed. Burning tears were streaming down my cheeks, as I burrowed my head into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, baby” he said, holding onto me tightly and kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes which were red and cloudy with tears.

Around 2AM I walked downstairs with him, gripping onto his shirt tightly until we got to the front door. He tilted my head up and wiped away my tears with his finger. “We will always be in each others lives… don’t forget that”. I nodded and we gave each other one last kiss before he walked out. I stood by the door sobbing, with an awful, heart-wrenching pain that I had never experienced before.


After 9 incredible months of dating Ryan from JSwipe, it was time to say farewell to one another. Ryan was accepted into a PhD program half way around the world, which will take about 4 years to complete.

We knew about 3 months in that he would be leaving to go. It wasn’t an easy time in our relationship. At that point we were developing strong feelings for one another, and I hated the though of him leaving me. It was a difficult decision, but Ryan knew he couldn’t turn it down. It was one of the most prestigious and competitive programs in his field of study.

I could have ended the relationship at that point to avoid the heartbreak and sadness later on. However, I knew I had to let my fears go – not willing to give up the special bond we had.

We carried forward and went on a countless number of dates. Between our lazy nights at home watching American Horror Story, going to The Zoo, spending the night at a fancy hotel for his birthday and slow dancing together at his sisters wedding – we made so many wonderful memories together.

Before we knew it, October arrived and it was inevitable to talk about the future of our relationship. It was a very tough and emotional discussion to have, but ultimately it was decided that we weren’t going to try and do long-distance. As much as we cared for one another deeply, it would be very tough to be apart from one another for so long. As well, I needed the opportunity to explore other relationships – as this is all very new to me… in order to compare and decide what exactly I want in a life time partner.

I can finally say to the whole blogosphere that I did find love, and it has been an absolutely incredible journey to get to this point (even though it meant I had to experience heart break). A part of me will always love Ryan – we plan on staying in each others lives forever. We’ve been talking frequently since he landed – and I look forward to video chatting with him in a day or two once he is all settled in.

Who knows – maybe he will end up being the one I’m meant to be with forever. For now, my journey continues, and I hope you will stay along for the ride.

It’s Official

Well – here’s the post you’ve all secretly been waiting for. Ryan and I are officially in a relationship now! It hasn’t been blurted out to the world (i.e. over Facebook)… but we’ve made it very clear to one another that we aren’t interested in seeing anyone else. Who thought this day would come?

Even though we’ve only been dating for a month a half – I’ve already developed pretty strong feelings towards him (and I’m almost 100% positive he feels the same way about me).

Last Wednesday he picked me up from the subway after work. We grabbed a slice of pizza for dinner and then went over to his place. We walked inside and I immediately got introduced to his mother. She seemed very sweet and friendly. It was a brief ‘hello, nice to meet you’ – as she was on her way out to grab dinner with friends. When she left we went to his room to ‘watch a movie’ ;). I kept asking him what time she was going to come home – as the last thing I wanted was for her to walk in on us and think I was a complete slut. Sure enough my worst fear came true, as we heard the front door open much sooner than he expected. I scrambled to throw my clothes back on. My face was all red and blotchy from kissing, and my hair completely disheveled. Oh no…

Thankfully, we got back to a presentable state fairly quickly. His plan was for us to head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. We saw her sitting on the couch and she smiled at the two of us as we walked in. I smiled back, but felt very awkward. Although why should I? I’m his girlfriend after all… After grabbing water, I walked out to talk to her a bit more. We didn’t talk for too long – as Ryan was motioning for me to come back to his room. Anyway, I believe I made a decent first impression, as when I left she said it was really nice meeting me, and hoped to see me again soon.

Fast forward to yesterday evening. My parents had been anxious to meet Ryan for quite some time, so I figured that now was a good time since I had recently met his mother. He came over around 5 (my parents were heading to a show at 6 – so they would only have at the very most an hour to grill him with questions). I was a bundle of nerves waiting for him to arrive. Mostly nervous that my parents would completely embarrass me. They did promise to be on their best behaviour.

It really went so much better than expected. Ryan hit it off with my dad. They were talking to one another about products they were developing, and bonded over music and travel stories. My mom pulled me aside and told me she thought he was stunning, smart, and I certainly picked a good one. Aw, shucks!

When they left, he told me he thought my family was great. I grinned from ear to ear, happy that they bonded so well. I’m still waiting for someone to pinch me, to wake up from this dream…

So where does this leave my blog? To be fair to Ryan, and knowing he might one day read this, I feel it’s best for me not to dive into anything more personal between the two of us as our relationship grows. I’ll just leave that up to your imagination. ;) So because of this, I will be taking a break from writing – but I will definitely let you know when suburban girl is totally in love.

For now I just want to send out a big thank you to everyone who has been following along my journey to find love – especially to those who’ve been supporting me since the beginning. To know I’ve inspired some of you, is more than I could have asked for.

Also – I have faith that my favourite Unfortunate Virgin Male (who all my readers should follow) – will also end up with a success story!

The next time I write, you will know that I’m either in love, engaged, or getting married. Or that I’m desperately heart broken.

My Valentines

Ryan asked to take me out last night for Valentine’s Day. I was pretty excited about it – as I’ve never been asked out on Valentine’s Day before.

He picked me up around 7:30pm (our usual Saturday night time). Conversation flowed so naturally. I was excited to tell him about my week – and hear about what he’d been up to. We sung along to car tunes like ‘Hotel California’ and ‘Take Me To Church’ while holding each others hand the majority of the car ride.

He parked on the street of the restaurant and once the meter was filled – we started walking over. Little did either us realize that it was -36 degrees outside. I was silly and didn’t wear gloves or a hat. Ryan offered me to wear his, but I felt bad taking them. I latched onto him for warmth but I was still feeling numb in my fingers and face. We looked at the building number to our left.. which was 800 and the restaurant was 200. Both of us made the decision to go back to the car and drive to a closer parking spot.

Finally, we arrived at a great middle eastern restaurant. Our food portions arrived and were humongous – enough to feed an army. Schnitzel, skewers, fries, salad, pita. After cleaning up our plates – Ryan asked about the small bag to my left with the “fluffy” paper coming out from the top, which was his cute way of referencing the tissue paper. I had bought him a little something and was so excited for him to open it. I passed it along and told him to open the card first. He seemed genuinely shocked and happy that I got him anything. The card was perfect – it said ‘I only have eyes for you’ on the front – and inside I wrote a cute, sappy message about how I’m so happy to have gotten matched with him and look forward to spending more days of the week together. Cue the ‘aww’… Then he took out the little stuffed monkey I bought which he was slightly embarrassed to hold but thought it was very cute.

He looked up at me and expressed how this was the nicest gift he’s ever received from any girlfriend. Did he just mention girlfriend? So I’m his current girlfriend? He then took out a LINDOR Chocolate box to give me – although he felt very silly and embarrassed to have gotten me something so small in comparison. I told him to stop it — just being with him that evening was all I needed. Cute the second ‘aww’.

Afterwards we walked over to a Jazz Bar which was a block away (thankfully). It was packed but we managed to get two seats near the bar which gave us a perfect view of the band.

Photo 2015-02-14, 11 37 05 PM

The room was filled with couples left and right. It was such a cute and intimate crowd. Ryan wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his shoulder. We were enjoying the lovely instrumental sounds of the Jazz band.

I wasn’t sure what I was starting to feel – but gazing up at Ryan… I certainly was beginning to feel loved. Love is something I’ve never experienced before, and I’m not sure that feeling has really taken over yet. However, I certainly feel like I am with someone who genuinely cares about me and when I think about my master check list of what I want in a boyfriend – he pretty much crosses everything off. Love is a feeling that scares me – the idea of fully giving myself to someone and then being completely heart broken is always a risk. Taking that leap is something that is so scary for me, but the more I’m with him, the more I feel ready to risk it all.

We left around quarter to 12 and rushed over to his car – so we could blast the heater and get toasty again. It was en route home when we started to hear a police siren approaching behind us. Shit! Ryan realized it was directed at us, so we pulled over. Neither of us had any idea as to why, and he seemed a little shocked.

The police officer came up to his window and said that we had apparently made an illegal left turn. Neither of us had seen any prohibited turn signs – but apparently there was one. We searched through his mom’s car to find the insurance papers and passed them over. The officer returned (thankfully he was a friendly guy) and saw that Ryan had a clean record so he only received a ticket to pay. I felt horrible – it had turned out to be a very expensive evening for him. He handled the whole situation very well though – which I was happy to see. Always good to see how a guy handles those sorts of situations…

My rebel drove us the remainder of the way home and parked in my driveway. He asked to see me again Monday – since it’s Family Day (no work!) So that will most likely happen.

So I guess guys… I can admit I have a boyfriend. Suburban girl isn’t ready to say she’s found love just yet – and this blog isn’t going anywhere for a little while. However, it is extremely exciting to report after so many dates that have gone nowhere – I have finally met a pretty incredible guy.

I took the bold step to delete all my online dating profiles / apps yesterday. It felt very bizarre, knowing it won’t be part of my normal daily routine to check them. However, I believe it’s healthy moving forward in this relationship. I need to give it a chance. Wouldn’t you agree?

Hope everyone had a lovely day yesterday – whether with your loved one, friends or family.