Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

Tinder Experiment: Found a Match

As a graduation gift last week, my family bought me an iPhone. Ever since I started using it, I can’t understand why I stuck with the Blackberry for so long. I can download ten times as many applications without the phone freezing on me, and the resolution and picture quality is infinitely better than what I had.

One of my followers, Dayna, suggested I try out a mobile application called Tinder. Having investigated it a bit more on my new phone, I learned it was similar to a ‘hot or not’ app you could find on Facebook a few years ago. You download the Tinder app to your phone, connect to your Facebook account and then select the distance/proximity you want your matches to be within. It didn’t take me any longer than two minutes to configure that. Then, I was presented with the image of a guy, below it stating how old he was, if we shared any mutual friends / any similar interests from Facebook. Below that I could decide whether to ‘x’ him or ‘heart’ him. If I were to heart him (which meant I liked him), and he liked me back, it would instantly pop up saying we were a match which would then enter us into a private chat.

So I began my x’s and hearts and couldn’t believe how fast an hour went by. I had actually come across some of the guy’s I had talked with before on other online dating websites.

I had about 15 matches already so at that point I decided to look through them. A few had already sent me a message:

1. Hey, whats up?

2. Did you catch the Leafs game? :(

3. If I were to flip a coin, what are the chances I’d get head? .. almost made me delete the app instantly.

4. Are you also drowning your sorrows in beer after that Leafs game?!

5. Post leafs game fail hangout?

6. THE LEAFSSSSS. NOOOOOOOO.

Yes, I am proud to be a Canadian. However, to be honest I didn’t really follow the Leafs much this season. I did watch the final game against Boston, so I at least understood why all these guys were so upset about it. Still, I found it kind of interesting that they all just started talking to me casually like we knew each other for a long time. After a bit of correspondence back and forth with two of them, that was the end of it. It was like they just needed to vent about the Leafs to someone cute and then move on. Bizarre!

So I was ready to call it quits with this app when a new guy popped up as a match. Let’s call him Cory. From the same city, same age, ten mutual friends and pretty cute! I thought why not send him a message. I learned that he studied finance and went to a high school I was familiar with. Cory was asking me questions aside from anything that had to do with the Leafs, which was refreshing! Our conversation was going pretty well and about half an hour later he gave me his Facebook and said for me to feel free to add him there.

Of course like any curious girl would do, I searched him and saw he had 600 Facebook friends and no shirtless profile pictures. He passed the initial test. So I added him (put my Limited profile on). Soon after he added me back and sent me a private message saying:

Good Find! Facebook Chat is much more legit!

From there we continued talking for quite awhile. I asked why he got Tinder in the first place. He said it was going around his campus awhile ago and he just checks it from time to time to see who is out there. He told me he was open to dating if the right girl came along. I was really starting to like him and he seemed very nice. It also put me at ease to know that our mutual friends were people I consider very nice and genuine. Conversation was going so well.

This morning I asked him how he was doing. After a few messages back and forth he gave me his cell number and asked if I wanted to grab coffee tomorrow. I was kind of excited, but didn’t want to get myself too worked up after what happened on my last coffee date. I suggested maybe we do something a little different like mini putting. My last experience doing that was fun and made me feel really comfortable. He thought that sounded great and so I told him to give me a call later on tonight to finalize plans. He said he would.

So thank you Dayna for giving me the idea to try out Tinder. It was an interesting experiment, and it has been a bit of a confidence booster. I will definitely let you all know how the phone conversation goes tonight and how mini putting goes tomorrow!

Do you think this is an insane way to meet a guy? Do you believe it’s ‘sketchier’ than an online dating website?

Meeting ‘fish’ in the most random of places — FATE?

Saturday night I reluctantly decided to go out with my family to see a Flamenco Performance at a small coffee shop downtown, Toronto as my dad’s old time friend growing up was performing and playing the African drums. I initially thought… it’ll probably just be an older crowd wanting to go see Flamenco and I’d feel like a complete third wheel with my parents… but I had no other plans for my Saturday night and my parents convinced me it would be a great ‘family bonding’ experience. So I got myself out of my PJ’s, threw on some clothes, applied some makeup and away we went.

Our first stop was to quickly grab dinner at a restaurant prior to going to see the show. We went to a pretty popular spot which I had never been to before. It was completely packed but we decided to wait in line as it seemed to be moving at a fast pace and the location was minutes away from our next destination. While waiting in line, my mom whispered to me that there was a guy at the table next to where we were standing who kept looking over at me. I glanced over and he appeared to be sitting with his family. There was a girl opposite him and I couldn’t tell whether it was his sister or his girlfriend. I opted for option 1 as once again he looked over and our eyes caught each other. He actually was quite cute and I could immediately feel my cheeks going red and looked away, thinking nothing would come out of it anyway.

Later once my family had ordered dinner his family got up to leave and as they were walking out he quickly turned around and our eyes caught each other once again — seconds later he left to follow his family. I immediately thought… wait a second. I vaguely remembered his face and then I knew it was one of the guys I was corresponding with online months ago. I told my mom and she said I should message him if he’s still online and see if it really was him. I decided against it as even if it was him, there must of been a reason we had stopped writing in the first place.

Today, Monday, I get an email notification from the dating site saying I’ve received a new message and when I checked, sure enough IT WAS HIM! He said ‘I swear I saw you at x place Saturday night’. I couldn’t believe he knew it was me… we had never even met before and I thought to myself, is this fate? What are the chances of seeing him there? We both must have pretty incredible visual memories. I said yes and he went on by saying ‘you’re hot ;)’. Reading this in my bed I immediately felt my cheeks flush red, and I was very flattered. The fact that my pictures did me justice in real life and he liked what he saw made me feel really amazing. I then went to explore his profile again and there it was… I remembered he had only completed high school. I think at the time it didn’t sound as if he really had any ambition other than working in sales and with me being so far along in my career, I wanted to be with someone who was equally passionate about work. When I checked today, he actually now mentions something about wanting to study in University so I messaged back earlier and asked what his story was. If he is currently studying/ wants to study.

So despite my initial negative thoughts of having to go out with my parents, it actually turned out to be an amazing night and I really had fun. It was great talking to my parents, I would have never bumped into an old ‘fish,’ and I absolutely loved the Flamenco Performance. It was at this really neat coffee shop on an outdoor patio and the scene was very bohemian and relaxing. I breathed in the smell of firewood, drank Sangria and the air was filled with conversation, laughter and a gorgeous night sky.

Point of the story, don’t think negatively about anything. What you may think is negative can in fact turn into a very positive and fun experience.

My question to all of you. Is a situation like this a sign… fate should I say? Should I give him a shot even if he still lacks professional ambition?

16 vs. 21

So my cousin and I hung out this afternoon and she was explaining to me about her love life and two guys in particular that she is currently smitten over.

I’ll start off by saying she’s 16.

If it were a game show, here’s how it would be presented…

Contender #1 is a year younger, goes to the same school, is tall and handsome and is book smart. Sounds like a perfect catch no?

Contender #2 is about 5 years older. He’s also tall and handsome, in University and has this charm that she’s attracted to. She met him at a party awhile back.

So after doing a thorough text message and facebook picture investigation – I explained to her I thought contender #1 was the better option. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the fact that contender #2 is 5 years older as I clearly state in ‘The Dating Age Gap’ how a number can’t define a connection between two people. However, I explained that 16 vs. 21 and 20 vs. 25 are two very different match games. With 16 vs. 21 the 16 year old being my cousin is attracted to the idea of physically being with someone who is older and has more experience. Also the fact that he is gorgeous makes the attraction that much stronger. Not to say all 21 year olds are like this, but I’m going to presume the majority who flirt with girls in their early stages of high school aren’t looking for ‘true love’ or a committed relationship. They are experienced and know how to charm a girl and almost act like persuasive snakes to get certain things that younger girls are sometimes vulnerable enough to give into. 20 vs. 25 can be read more indepth about in ‘The Dating Age Gap’ post.

Contender #1 – despite her hesitation regarding the fact he’s a year younger, I think is still someone she shouldn’t lose sight of. The fact that she knows a lot about him and they go to the same school and live close by means that she’s within her comfort zone. Also, the fact that he is in the more premature stages of a proper relationship makes him a stronger contendor for something long term and meaningful. I understand that at 16 she can’t help but worry how her friends may perceive her dating a guy 1 year younger – but I say go for it.

Usually I wouldn’t recommend dating younger as in my personal experience they are all incredibly immature and are ‘Justin Bieber’ clones. The way she described him though and how smitten she was just goes to show how much of a good thing she thinks he is. So I say make the first move and go out for dinner or to the movies. Get to know him more 1 on 1. Don’t focus too much on what your friends will think. We all need to trust our own hearts and if we always based our decisions on what our friends thought we’d never achieve a full level of happiness.