Elevator Lockdown

Last week, I received an open invitation from Advertising Boy to come over to his apartment to go swimming. I decided to take him up on that offer yesterday…

AB met me at the bus stop early afternoon and as soon as I stepped off, we embraced each other. We entered his building and he proceeded to take us up to the 36th floor. The first thing he did was give me a tour of his place. It was a beautiful apartment – one bedroom, kitchenette, living room and bathroom. He then took us out on his balcony and my jaw dropped. It was the most breathtaking view – you could see the CN Tower, and he overlooked the waterfront where you could see all the boats sailing over the crystal clear water. I could have seriously stared out at that view for hours.

We hung out at his place for about half an hour – passing the time by playing a few rounds of magnetic darts and jamming to some songs on his electric guitar. We then decided to head down to the indoor pool to go for a swim. My goal was to pull my hair up in a cute, messy bun so it wouldn’t look like a scary mess later on in the day. So I got to the change room, grabbed my one hair elastic, pulled my hair up high – and all of a sudden … it snaps. Shit! I had a minor freak out session but after a few deep breaths I took it as a sign that I should just let it go au natural.

He looked pretty damn good in a pair of swim trunks, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on him. We were the only ones in the pool area. AB dove right into the pool and the water glistened off his beautifully tanned skin. I took the safer route and entered by the steps. The water was beautiful. I slowly started swimming my way over to him. When we reached each other I held onto him and just as we were getting comfortable we heard the doors open to one of the change rooms. A family of 4 walked in with 2 young kids. SHIT! What a mood kill. I wanted my first kiss with him to happen then and there, and knew that wasn’t going to be. AB also seemed disappointed. Still, that didn’t stop us from having fun. There were lots of splashes and harmless play for a good fifteen minutes. Then we made our way over to the hot tub. That’s when things got a bit more steamy. We held hands and our feet were interlocked. I lay my head on his shoulder. The heat alongside his touch was perfect, and I gazed up at him thinking there could only be one thing to make that moment even better. We looked right at each other, but knew that as long as those kids were there, we couldn’t do anything. Those darn kids! About ten minutes later, AB suggested we see if the outdoor hot tub was free. We made our way over there and were sad to see that it was already full. I suggested we head back up to his room, get changed – go to a carnival that was going on close by and then maybe go for a late night swim. He liked that idea.

AB took us towards the elevator and we were both still dripping with water from the pool. Our clothes were drenched and I could tell my hair was already turning into a frizz ball. We walked into the elevator and it was just us… finally. As soon as the doors closed we looked up at each other, he pulled me close to him and gave me a passionate kiss. That lasted a good 8 floors long. Then we had to wait for another elevator. Got in, doors closed – round 2! I was enjoying this game a lot.

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We arrived on the 36th floor and as soon as we got into his apartment and the door shut behind us we pounced on each other. After we made out for a bit longer, he asked if I wanted to move into his bedroom. My body wanted to say yes… but my head urged me to slow down. I was nervous to rush into anything too quickly – especially since we worked together. I was mainly afraid of getting my heart broken so soon and having to face this man every day afterwards… and it was only our second real date. He agreed to go at a pace I was comfortable with.

We ate some pizza for dinner and then proceeded to the carnival. He had his arm around me as we walked over and I was happy to see he was so comfortable with kissing in public. When we got through the gates, he took me by the hand and led me through the massive crowds of people. AB won a Tweety bird prize for me at one of the carnival games, which was very sweet. We then went on the Ferris Wheel. It was actually my first time on a Ferris Wheel – and I’m not a big fan of heights, but being with him made me feel safe and I really enjoyed it. AB then convinced me to go on a crazy ride – this large boat that swings back and forth like a metronome, high up in the air. I am not a rides girl, so going on it was a big deal for me. Even though my stomach felt like it was dropping every time we plunged downwards, I loved the rush, squeezing his arm while I screamed at the top of my lungs. Hearing his laugh next to me warmed my heart.

Around 8:30pm we walked back over to his place so I could grab my swim bag to take back home. When we arrived, both of us were pretty tired so we sat on the couch, kissed some more, and lay in each others arms for half an hour. We were so comfortable and I could have easily fallen asleep. However, I managed to pull myself up and he proceeded to walk me back to the bus stop.

As the bus arrived, we shared a passionate kiss goodnight.

Some breaking news: on this, the day after, I just got off the phone with AB – who shared that he had been let go from the place at which we both work(ed). I didn’t know who to be more sorry for. Him for being let go, or me – at the idea that I wouldn’t see his gorgeous smile everyday. Maybe, however, this is a blessing in disguise. What do you think?

Post Valentines

I still had a great Valentines Day despite being single. My whole day was filled with lots of love from my family and friends. Sure – it stung a little bit on the subway ride home from work to see guys holding a single rose stem for their girlfriend; and hearing the musician in the station playing the traditional song you walk down the aisle to. However, I came home to a beautiful Italian themed dinner my dad cooked for my family. Followed by chocolate fondue with strawberries and bananas!

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down. I had hoped to see the guy from LinkedIn – Zach at some point this weekend but it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride with him since my last blog post…

About a week after we met for coffee, I sent him another version of his character. He sent back changes – so then a few days following, I sent him an updated version. Then came more changes. By this point I had spent over 15 hours designing the character for him – and I had only charged about 1/4 of the time spent.

Zach was such a charmer and I totally fell under his spell. Whenever I agreed to make another small change – he would send me heart signs back. Those hearts gave me hope he was still interested in seeing me again.

By the end of January, I was close to finishing his character and he sent me his final list of small edits.

Me: You owe me a week away after this.

Zach: Haha I know. (heart sign)

Me: You better hold up to your end of the deal.

Zach: I’m a man of my word. ;)

February 9, I sent Zach the final versions to post to his page. I was so excited that the character was done, and we could finally make plans to meet again to go for celebratory drinks. Unfortunately for me, ever since I’ve sent him the final designs – the hearts have stopped and his messages have been less frequent.

He ended up paying me more than what he was supposed to which was nice of him. However, still no mention on his part of going out again. That brings us to February 12.

Me: So when are we going to celebrate?

Zach: I dunno well have to see. :0

Me: Okay.

… Disappointment washed over my face and my heart sunk. ‘We’ll have to see..’ What the hell does that mean? Is that code word for, sorry but I’m not interested anymore? Is he just too obsessed with his gaming that he can’t commit to a time to see me? Maybe he started seeing someone else?

I don’t even know what to think. I feel pretty used and taken advantage of. He totally led me on. I wish I had a happier ending here, although it’s not to say this is for sure the ending. What do you think. Time to move on?

Identity Leaked

Apologies for being MIA for such a long period of time. I have been busy completing a summer internship. I would have thought that by now I would have had at least one adventure to report with one of the guys who also work there, but no such luck. However, I have been hired to work full time now at the same company so I’m sure that story will come along soon enough.

What’s consumed my thoughts over the last few days has to do with one of my closest friends. Let’s call him Matt. Matt sent me a lengthy email the other day, and as soon as I opened it my heart sunk. This dear friend of mine, one who has had strong feelings for me for quite some time (which I have been unable to reciprocate) told me he knew about both my blog AND that I was on online dating.

I had wondered why Matt seemed so distant over the last week, and the email pretty much summed up why.

I had mentioned to him several months ago to give online dating a shot, to see who else was out there. I guess he was bound to come across my profile eventually. If Matt had just come across that alone, it wouldn’t have been so upsetting. The fact that he also found out about my blog made me feel horrible… as I was to blame.

Several months ago, I had hinted I had a secret blog to him. I can’t even remember how it came up in conversation, although I said it; and of course, it got him curious. As I’m sure anyone would be, hearing the word ‘secret’ or ‘mysterious’. Matt told me that several times when we were screen-sharing through Skype either my email popped up or I had left a WordPress tab open accidentally. He apologized for invading my privacy (as it wasn’t any of his business) but he couldn’t help but search up the WordPress name that kept popping up and sure enough, he put two and two together.

I was so afraid of the inevitable that Matt would feel completely shattered reading all my stories if he came across this. Finding out I was meeting up with all these different guys to hopefully find my prince charming, when he had hoped that he could be that for me all along.

I told Matt I was proud of him for being so brave and honest. I told him that I care so deeply for him as a friend, but unless he worked through his anxieties and built up more confidence in himself, I could never be with him romantically.

Writing my blog posts have really opened my eyes to the type of guy I need in my life. Ultimately, I need to be true to myself, whether anonymous or real.

The Most Unconventional First Date

It had been almost 3 weeks since I started talking to my South African boy, Jon, on Tinder. Since my last blog post, A True South African Gentleman, we continued talking on a daily basis through Skype and text. The more we talked, the more I felt like we had known each other forever. However, I also started growing a bit tired of our online relationship. I didn’t want what we had to turn into another one of my hopeless fantasies that would never result in anything.

Living about an hour away from each other wasn’t ideal, but Jon and I were both interested enough to make things work. He had gotten into a pretty serious accident and hurt his back around when we first started talking, so he still wasn’t completely comfortable driving on his own just yet. Jon told me that his sister offered to drive the both of them to my area. When he suggested that to me, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was about time we had our first date, yet if his sister came along it could make things a bit awkward and also make her feel like a bit of a third wheel. After a long period of contemplation, I decided to have them both over to my house Saturday evening.

When Saturday arrived, I was pretty nervous. I think I changed my outfit at least five times, and my nails have never gone through so many colour changes within an hour. I had actually planned a special surprise for them. My dad offered to cook up a South African delicacy, boerewors (which is a type of sausage).

So yes, I know what you’re thinking. We pretty much fast tracked ten dates for our first ever face to face meeting.

Jon and his sister arrived and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. I hugged him and his sister hello. Jon then presented me with a bouquet of beautiful lilacs and I smiled bashfully. He admitted his sister had helped pick out the flowers, which was so incredibly sweet.

We went out to my backyard and my dad had started cooking on the BBQ. I made the introductions. It was so much for me to take in at once. Yet, surprisingly it wasn’t as awkward as you may think. In fact, the four of us got into great conversation right away and it felt like we had all known each other for quite some time. Jon and his sister were grinning at one another as soon as they smelled the boerewors (they knew what it was instantly).

After dinner, my dad left and I opened up a bottle of ice wine for the three of us to share. I gave Jon my guitar and he started playing some of his own, original music as the sun was fading. It was so romantic, although I couldn’t get completely into the moment as his sister was sitting behind him. She was just relaxing and had her eyes closed, so at points of the evening it did feel like it was just the two of us. I sang along with him to ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay, and he even taught me a few of the chords which are perfection. Seriously, the most beautiful guitar chords I’ve ever heard. He’s such an incredible guitarist (I told him he needs to get his own YouTube channel going). After Jon gave us a little show, he passed it along to his sister for her to play a song.

I have a chimineya in my backyard, so at that point we decided to get a fire going. Jon started placing the firewood inside the pit. It was mesmerizing to watch the fire flutter back and forth and seeing little sparks exiting the pit, within seconds disappearing into thin air. The smell of the firewood was heavenly. We made some s’mores and afterwards Jon and I went to lie on my hammock. His sister was on her phone so we just went over. I colossally failed the first time around as I jumped onto the hammock and managed to do a complete 360 degree turn and toss myself over the other side. We just laughed it off and then positioned ourselves comfortably onto the hammock and were lying in each others arms. His head rested on mine and my one hand lay on his chest. He told me he could fall asleep right then and there. It was so perfect. In that moment, I felt like he was my boyfriend. His sister had gone to the washroom for quite some time as we were lying there. We looked at each other at certain moments and I thought of kissing him. However, I decided to wait. It was just the first date, and I wanted to share that moment when it was just the two of us and no one else around.

His sister came over to join us after a little while (dragged a lawn chair over to the hammock and lay facing us). We kept talking and laughing, and the more we talked, the more similarities I discovered. Around 10:30pm the mosquitoes had done an excellent job of attacking his sister and I, so we quickly brought everything inside. We moved into the living room and he had his arm around me on the couch, even with my dad hanging around the house.

Despite it being such a nontraditional first date, it somehow just felt right. Totally worth the 10+ mosquito bites. He texted me on the car ride home saying how incredible I was and thanked me again. It was so sweet and genuine and I couldn’t wipe away the large grin from my face.

As my dad and I got comfortable to watch the latest Hell’s Kitchen episode, we noticed Jon’s wallet had fallen out of his pocket and was tucked into the couch!

I quickly texted him: You totally left your wallet on purpose to see me again, right? ;)

Jon: Oh crap! I like having a great excuse like that.

He couldn’t get anyone to drive him back the next day. However, his mom was visiting their family friends in my area the following day so I just dropped it off there.

I’m really looking forward to seeing him again. Hopefully it’ll just be the two of us next time! The only thing that worries me is the hour distance between us. Do you think I should be concerned about that?

Tinder Experiment: Found a Match

As a graduation gift last week, my family bought me an iPhone. Ever since I started using it, I can’t understand why I stuck with the Blackberry for so long. I can download ten times as many applications without the phone freezing on me, and the resolution and picture quality is infinitely better than what I had.

One of my followers, Dayna, suggested I try out a mobile application called Tinder. Having investigated it a bit more on my new phone, I learned it was similar to a ‘hot or not’ app you could find on Facebook a few years ago. You download the Tinder app to your phone, connect to your Facebook account and then select the distance/proximity you want your matches to be within. It didn’t take me any longer than two minutes to configure that. Then, I was presented with the image of a guy, below it stating how old he was, if we shared any mutual friends / any similar interests from Facebook. Below that I could decide whether to ‘x’ him or ‘heart’ him. If I were to heart him (which meant I liked him), and he liked me back, it would instantly pop up saying we were a match which would then enter us into a private chat.

So I began my x’s and hearts and couldn’t believe how fast an hour went by. I had actually come across some of the guy’s I had talked with before on other online dating websites.

I had about 15 matches already so at that point I decided to look through them. A few had already sent me a message:

1. Hey, whats up?

2. Did you catch the Leafs game? :(

3. If I were to flip a coin, what are the chances I’d get head? .. almost made me delete the app instantly.

4. Are you also drowning your sorrows in beer after that Leafs game?!

5. Post leafs game fail hangout?

6. THE LEAFSSSSS. NOOOOOOOO.

Yes, I am proud to be a Canadian. However, to be honest I didn’t really follow the Leafs much this season. I did watch the final game against Boston, so I at least understood why all these guys were so upset about it. Still, I found it kind of interesting that they all just started talking to me casually like we knew each other for a long time. After a bit of correspondence back and forth with two of them, that was the end of it. It was like they just needed to vent about the Leafs to someone cute and then move on. Bizarre!

So I was ready to call it quits with this app when a new guy popped up as a match. Let’s call him Cory. From the same city, same age, ten mutual friends and pretty cute! I thought why not send him a message. I learned that he studied finance and went to a high school I was familiar with. Cory was asking me questions aside from anything that had to do with the Leafs, which was refreshing! Our conversation was going pretty well and about half an hour later he gave me his Facebook and said for me to feel free to add him there.

Of course like any curious girl would do, I searched him and saw he had 600 Facebook friends and no shirtless profile pictures. He passed the initial test. So I added him (put my Limited profile on). Soon after he added me back and sent me a private message saying:

Good Find! Facebook Chat is much more legit!

From there we continued talking for quite awhile. I asked why he got Tinder in the first place. He said it was going around his campus awhile ago and he just checks it from time to time to see who is out there. He told me he was open to dating if the right girl came along. I was really starting to like him and he seemed very nice. It also put me at ease to know that our mutual friends were people I consider very nice and genuine. Conversation was going so well.

This morning I asked him how he was doing. After a few messages back and forth he gave me his cell number and asked if I wanted to grab coffee tomorrow. I was kind of excited, but didn’t want to get myself too worked up after what happened on my last coffee date. I suggested maybe we do something a little different like mini putting. My last experience doing that was fun and made me feel really comfortable. He thought that sounded great and so I told him to give me a call later on tonight to finalize plans. He said he would.

So thank you Dayna for giving me the idea to try out Tinder. It was an interesting experiment, and it has been a bit of a confidence booster. I will definitely let you all know how the phone conversation goes tonight and how mini putting goes tomorrow!

Do you think this is an insane way to meet a guy? Do you believe it’s ‘sketchier’ than an online dating website?

My Chocolate was Hot on Easter Sunday

To all my followers that were hopeful Facebook boy would truly be my prince charming: unfortunately I don’t have good news. In fact, I’ve been screaming at myself for being so easily manipulated to think he was actually interested in developing something with me. Instead, he used me for my design skills and once I was of no more use to him, he stopped communicating with me. So it’s time to say goodbye and move on.

Business boy and I had been messaging each other back and forth over the past week on a Jewish online dating site. Even though I’m not very religious, I thought it would be nice to try it out and find some guys who were a bit more serious about looking to find the right girl. After my date with Facebook boy, I was feeling pretty defeated but I figured this would be the last guy I met up with before wrapping up the last few weeks of school.

We decided it’d be great to grab a hot chocolate/coffee over the weekend. Business boy told me he was heading up to his cottage on Saturday (I desperately wanted to ask him to take me with but contained myself). He said he’d call me when he got back Saturday afternoon to arrange plans. Sure enough the next day I heard from him. He sounded very cute on the phone. We talked for a few minutes and decided to meet at a shopping mall the next day that was located between the two of us. I thought this would be a good spot – instead of having to sit down the whole time over a drink, we could walk around a bit.

I woke up Sunday morning when it hit me: the shopping mall is probably closed today, being Easter Sunday! Still lying in bed, I called the shopping mall and sure enough no one was picking up. I sent him a text message saying the mall was most likely closed so would he be open to just going somewhere else to grab a drink. He said he’d be cool to meet me at a coffee shop in my area which was very sweet of him (and refreshing, compared to Facebook boy who made me come to him). So I gave him the name and intersection and we decided to meet at 3:30 pm today.

I got to the coffee shop ten minutes early and found a table for two towards the back. I sat down and threw my coat on the chair. I then started getting a bit fidgety and was looking around the shop which was fairly busy but still comfortable/not too loud. I sent him a text saying I got there and asked how much longer he’d be. I received a message back saying he was a few minutes away.

My heart was leaping back and forth. I saw a guy walk in and he looked at me but he didn’t look at all like Business boy. He sat down at a table towards the front, so I sighed in relief and continued fidgeting. A few minutes later another guy walked in, and as he came closer he totally looked like the guy in the pictures I saw, probably ten times cuter. I got up to hug him. He was very tall (about 6’2), muscular and was wearing a cologne that got me a bit too giddy.

Before we sat down, Business boy offered to buy me a drink (what was I thinking with the last guy?) and so I went up to the counter with him to order a hot chocolate. He also got a drink for himself. Standing there with him I was in awe of how gorgeous he was and was already starting to feel butterflies. I told myself to remain calm and try to not smile so much.

We sat down with our drinks in hand and conversation immediately started flowing naturally. He showed a lot of interest in what I was studying and how my graduate show worked. He told me about how he was working in finance/marketing and continued presenting himself in a very sexy and professional way. As he talked he had a bit of a crooked smile which I found a bit distracting but cute. I’d like to think I did a very good job listening and asking questions in response. Not once did either of us check our cell phones and we pretty much talked about everything from our similar music tastes to how important family was to countries we have/want to travel to. We seemed to have such a similar outlook on life and he just seemed really mature, yet down to earth. Most importantly, I got a sense that he was looking for something more than just hooking up or having a good time. Which is something I’ve learned is what I want at this point in my life.

Two hours later our cups were dry and he told me he had to go home for a family dinner. I found it so attractive that he put the time aside every Sunday to catch up with them. As we were getting ready to leave he asked if I drove here. I had actually been given a lift to the coffee shop so he offered to give me a ride home. I was still feeling so giddy and the butterflies were growing stronger. I was happy he was going to be with his family, but selfishly I would have loved to spend more time with him.

We walked into the parking lot and he told me to stop once we got to the black Mercedes. My jaw dropped. I tried remaining cool and collected. It was so sleek and inside I was screaming: out of happiness this time. I directed him to my house and once arrived we hugged goodbye. Once I got inside my dad was cooking in the kitchen and I told him the guys name (only because Business boy said his parents used to live in the same city as my dad). My dad recognized the last name and sure enough – he had gone to University with both his parents. We couldn’t believe what a small world it is!

If he writes again (let’s keep our fingers crossed), I will have to tell him about that. Maybe it’s a sign? What do you think?

I’m Just a Playful Girl at Heart

Yesterday I went on date #2 with the guy I blogged about in my most recent post ‘Is smoking weed a turn on or turn off?‘. He picked me up at 7pm and took me to a glow in the dark mini-putt somewhat in the area. It was incredibly foggy; one of the foggiest nights I could remember in a long time. I was a bit nervous having him drive but he reassured me beforehand he drove ‘like a grandmother’ and that I was in good hands. He completely held true to his word and the drive there was very comfortable. We blasted 102.1 and were singing along horribly to different rock songs.

Once arrived, we got V.I.P. treatment as his friend is the manager there. As it was a Tuesday, we were one of the only ones there (which I wasn’t complaining about). At first we were very serious about counting how many times it took to get the ball in the hole… no sexual innuendo intended. By the third round, things got more playful/flirtatious. As I was winning by a few points, I thought we could make a bet to make the game a bit more interesting. Of course PG rated as it was only the second date so we concluded that the loser had to either a) buy the winner a drink or b) be tickled for 30 seconds non-stop. As the rounds went on we were trying to distract one another by using our puts to create pretend obstacles. So although the last time I had been mini-putting was probably when I was 15/16, there was something really special about being there with him and kind of reliving that playful/giddiness feeling from my childhood. It was also pretty sexy watching him try to impress me (although failing… but in all fairness I had told him I’d been practicing my mini-put game in my basement for the last 21 years). We physically kept getting closer as the rounds went on. I picked up on his cologne and part of me just wanted to grab him out of my comfort zone and kiss him right there but the other part of me was like… maybe now is not the right time.

Afterwards as part of our V.I.P. treatment his friend gave us free credits for the basketball arcade games so we challenged each other to see who could score the most points. I swear we must have played at least 5 rounds of that and I’d say we were pretty on par with one another. For the last game we played on the same machine and I kept accidentally shocking him but I just took that as a sign there was definitely some ‘electric chemistry’ building between us. We got to redeem our tickets afterwards for a few small prizes including 2 temporary tattoos. He got a guitar and I got a butterfly.

By the time we left it was 9pm and we went back to his car and hung out there for a bit. Again, blasted the music and just talked about everything from our dysfunctional families to who could make a meaner Kraft Dinner. The whole time I kept thinking about wanting to kiss him but I held back and suggested we put on the tattoos. He had a water bottle in his car so he went first and placed the butterfly on my lower back. I may have gotten him to hold onto in a bit longer than you had to. Then I placed his guitar on his upper arm and to be honest it was such a sexy exchange and I highly recommend all of you try this on your next date. Afterwards we decided to go to a Tim Hortons to grab a hot drink but by the time we got there they were JUST closing. So back to the car we went. Luckily we got to steal their wifi so he reclined our chairs back and we watched silly post-wisdom teeth removal videos to playing this Unicorn Dash game on his Android that had a cheesy song called Always by Erasure in the background. I couldn’t stop laughing but it still kind of set the mood I guess.

I felt so comfortable but quite honestly it was so distracting having his one arm on my leg and I couldn’t concentrate much on the small android screen anymore. We tried finding each others ticklish spots but if was a bit awkward while in the car. So we just sat there staring at one another and he asked me what was on my mind. I told him he made me nervous. He said ‘how so?’ I just said he did… I couldn’t explain it. Then I told him I felt he was too far away. He said ‘you want me to come closer?’ I’m pretty sure at that time I knew it felt right to lean in and kiss him so I did and it totally felt right. I can officially check off the bucket list making out in a guys car. Last night really felt like I was 16 again and I really am hopeful that things work out with him. Although you never know.

What date nights have you experienced that made you feel like you were reliving your giddy/childlike days? What was that one song that played on the radio that was border line cheesy but you’ll never forget hearing that song while sharing a moment with someone special?