Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

Storia D’amore

Over the last few days I’ve been writing back and forth with Joey on OkCupid. I stumbled across his profile and immediately liked what I saw. He was Italian (tall, dark and handsome). Joey proclaimed he was a huge geek when it came to TV shows, video games, board games, the arts — all of which I equally geek out over! To top of it all off he was studying to become a lawyer and spoke fluent Italian (what girl wouldn’t want to have the sexy Italian language whispered into her ear night and day?) Guys, time to pick up a new language!

We decided to meet Tuesday evening to grab dinner / drinks. I was pretty nervous, though excited! The plan was for him to meet me at the subway station close to where I work and from there go find a local pub and perhaps walk around the area afterwards to spot out some celebrities (as the Toronto International Film Festival is going on right now). At 5:30pm I received a text saying “can you call me when you get this?” I immediately braced myself for the worst, and dialed his number. He picked up after a few rings…

Joey: So I hope you don’t find this really weird but I was on the bus over to you and I got a horrible nose bleed. It’s pretty bad. Probably from the humidity outside. I need to go back home to shower / get changed.

Me: That’s horrible! I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to take a rain check on hanging out?

Joey: No, tonight still works! I’m not too far from my house. Can we meet up in half an hour / 45 minutes?

So the new plan was for me to venture further down the subway line (about 10 stops away from where I currently was) to go to a shopping mall which was closer to him. We decided to meet on the subway platform. Pretty romantic spot, right?

I started walking down the platform to spot him. The humidity was dreadful. It’s about 40 degrees Celsius here and I was praying my hair wouldn’t turn into a complete frizz ball by the time I made it to where he was standing. I finally spotted him. I know what you’re thinking and no… we didn’t run into each others arms and share a passionate kiss. However, we did share a really nice hug hello. We walked into the shopping mall which was connected to the subway and instantly started cooling down.

Joey was just as cute as how he appeared in his pictures. Conversation started off slowly until we parked ourselves down inside a Pickle Barrel restaurant. We ordered food and conversation picked up — we talked about everything from our travels to family to our pets.

We shared a Caesar salad. Of course I had to order the spaghetti and meatballs (classic Italian dish). He ordered a curry dish, and shared a bit of my pasta as it was very filling (unfortunately there was no Lady and the Tramp moment).

We finished dinner around 8:30pm and he suggested we go see a movie, as there was a theater inside the same mall. I definitely wanted to continue our date so we paid the bill and headed over to the theater. The earliest time the next movie played was an hour later, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do as I knew the movie probably wouldn’t end til around 11pm and I would still need to subway back home to the suburbs. Joey said it was totally up to me. He had already seen that movie but would totally see it again. He even offered to drive me home afterwards, depending on what I felt comfortable with.

I decided to stay and watch the movie with him. Over the next hour before the movie started we explored the Indigo store next door, and then played a game of air hockey (which I totally let him win). Afterwards, we got cozy in the theater and started watching. There were definitely some flirtatious vibes in the air! Our legs were touching, and my head was pretty close to resting on his shoulder a few times.

The movie ended at 11pm and we got to the subway around half past. I knew the subway ran until 1:30am but I had never taken it on my own that late at night. Let alone, I had never taken that route before, and knew I’d have to transfer subway lines twice to get back home. Again, he offered to drive me home but I felt bad as he was tired so I insisted to just subway home. I was embarrassed to discover I ran out of tokens and the worker at the booth would only accept cash. Being the gentleman he was, Joey handed me a $10 bill and let me buy some tokens with it. I insisted on paying him back later on but he said not to worry about it.

He waited on the platform with me (got through with his monthly pass). We talked a bit longer although we were back out in the heat and the humidity started making us both fade quite a bit. When the subway started emerging from the tunnel, we shared a fairly long hug goodbye. I told him I had a really nice time and said hopefully we can hang out again soon. He agreed (which I certainly hoped he meant).

I managed to get home safe and sound that night! He texted me around 12:30am to make sure I got home okay, which was so sweet. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30am that morning. Joey and I talked more last night (he initiated the conversation) which is definitely a good sign!

Sweet, genuine guys like him don’t come around very often, and I really hope this one does work out. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed!

So close, yet so far.

Last Sunday, I found a guy on PlentyOfFish that seemed a bit too good to be true. Very good looking, 6’0′ tall, 26 years old, practiced law and lived in the same neighbourhood as me! He didn’t include much of a description in his profile aside from, “I’m new to this, just trying it out.” Usually I like reading a bit more about the guy before sending a message, but the little I already knew about him peaked my interest enough, so I sent a message.

Adam responded to my message within half an hour, and we started writing back and forth pretty quickly. Especially after discovering we lived a few streets away from each other! We also learned we went to the same high school, equally loved going to concerts, and were both on POF to connect with people outside our own circle of friends.

By midnight, we had probably sent about 15 messages back and forth and we both had work the next day. He ended off the conversation saying: “Well here’s my number if you want to text me sometime :) It was nice talking to you!” Then we both wished each other goodnight and logged off. I went to bed still thinking, he’s just way too good to be true, but it definitely ended my night on a positive note.

We texted back and forth for the next few days; and continued to learn more about one another. This past Wednesday evening, he wrote to me asking how my day was. I proceeded telling him how I had a very long day and it would probably be easier if we talked on the phone a bit. He told me he was having a BBQ dinner with his family. I suggested maybe he could call me later on, or another day later in the week. He responded:

Adam: Ya, okay. I recently got out of a relationship. :s It makes me a bit nervous.

Me: What makes you nervous?

Adam: Like moving on so fast.

Me: Well I’m not looking to rush into a relationship either. It’s always nice just to meet new people and see where it goes. (even though I would love that, but didn’t want to frighten him!)

Adam: Yeah, that’s true.

Then he switched the subject and we texted back and forth a bit more that night. Now if some of you think this guy could possibly be a catfish (click here if you don’t know what I’m referring to), he isn’t. How do I know? This is very bizarre – but as I was looking through Tinder after the first few days of us talking, his picture came up! The same one he used on his POF profile. I couldn’t believe it. Same name, and Tinder connects to your Facebook account, so I could see we had two mutual friends (both, really nice people). I did a quick Facebook search and he seemed to be legit. He’d been truthful about where he had gone to school.

We texted back and forth for a bit last night, although our conversation was cut short as Adam was just on his way out to go downtown.

I’m curious as to what all of you think I should do about him. I definitely don’t want to be the rebound again, but perhaps if I take things slowly and go at his pace, this could turn into something great. Throw your thoughts at me!

50 Questions: Tinder Edition

This morning I woke up and while lying in bed, I decided to check Tinder for fun. There I was, still half asleep, checkmarking and x’ing the guys pictures when I came across this guy Max who looked familiar (not to mention, very cute). I decided to checkmark him and sure enough he had already checkmarked me back. We were a match! I wrote hello and he immediately wrote back… “Hey. I feel like I know you from somewhere.” After thinking of a few possible places with no luck, he finally remembered that he helped his friend put his OKcupid account together and that he remembered seeing my picture from there. I proceeded to ask who his friend was and the name didn’t ring a bell. This is how the Tinder conversation proceeded (I’m in blue):

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Max told me he worked in the business world. I asked what got him interested in the app and he said it was very simple and popular so he was just checking it out. He also went on to tell me he had a girlfriend, and was just looking to do some research about the app. Max literally had 50 questions to ask me and wanted to do it in this forum so he could refer back to them. I considered going along with it, even though I was a bit disappointed that he was already taken. He said he had several friends, such as the one from OKcupid who he could introduce me to. So he told me to add him on Facebook to see what his single friends looked like. Then the conversation moved over to private Facebook chat:

Screen-Shot-2013-07-20-at-12.36.48-PMThis made me even more perplexed, since he had previously told me there were “legit” 50 questions he had in mind and he even wanted to refer back to them. I started digging a little more asking if he was perhaps designing a similar app and was doing research for it. He denied this emphatically and started backing off a little. But not before he asked me how old I was. Again, not wanting to reveal too much about myself, I said – 20 something.

“Give me a number.” He demanded. Woah….. I’d had enough. “Sorry, that’s all you’re going to get.” I said. “Good luck with your research”.

What are your Tinder highlights?

Menchies or Munchies?

I chatted on the phone about three times with Kevin, one of my most recent potential suitors from POF, prior to us meeting the other night. Each conversation was about an hour long, and he was really growing on me. His voice was sexy, and he had just the right balance of sarcasm and humour. During our first hour long phone conversation, we decided to ask each other random questions back and forth. Both of us share the same favourite colour: purple. We both take the subway everyday to get to work. He’s allergic to cats: major strike against him. Although as we continued asking each other questions, all of what we shared in common made up for that large strike. From everything we gathered about each other, he created a story of ‘how we met’, if the two of us were to work out:

We were both on the subway, en route to work. With suburbangirl4love being so directionally challenged, she asked me for directions. Something clicked and we decided to exchange our names to add each other on Facebook. From there we saw we had several mutual friends and decided it would be cool to go out and get to know each other more. So on our first date, we grabbed a bite and then proceeded to buy each other purple shirts.

He then proceeded to go into how lame he thought it was (sounded better in his head and regretted saying it out loud). I thought it was really cute and told him I wouldn’t change a thing.

So Kevin and I decided to meet at Menchie’s (frozen yoghurt place) Wednesday night. Being in condo sales, Kevin works about 10 hours each day so it was nice of him to meet up with me after work. Menchie’s closes at 11pm week nights so we had decided to meet for 9:30. He texted me around 8:30 to say he was about to leave downtown and he’d probably make it home for around 9:30. I told Kevin to text me when he was about to leave to head over to meet me.

I waited and waited in anticipation. 9:30 turned to 10. I finally heard from him to say he was leaving his house and would be there for quarter after. So I thought… okay, we’ll at least have 45 minutes to hang out. I walked over to Menchie’s and sat outside waiting for him. Within 5 minutes, I literally got 3 different mosquito bites which just made my fidgeting worse.

20 after 10, Kevin arrives and first thing I think: super cute but definitely shorter than me. I get up to hug him hello and I awkwardly bend over a little to hug him. Yes, he was definitely a bit shorter.  Anyway, I put that aside and we walked into Menchie’s. He told me it was his first time which was cool so I showed him how it works and proceeded to greedily fill my cup with Cake Batter, Peanut Butter and Cookies n’ Cream Frozen Yoghurt. Then the usual toppings: cheese cake bits and strawberries. My salivation almost made me forget about him for a second. Then my brain snapped back and we went to the counter. He said it was on him. (Bonus points!)

We sat down and conversation went really well. We picked up from our phone conversations and I found out we shared a lot more in common. 11pm arrived and the Menchie’s crew started closing up which meant we were going to be kicked out soon. I suggested we walk and talk around the plaza. We got up again and I noticed the height difference, although it didn’t bother me as much this time. We started walking around and the mosquitos instantly attacked us. We sat down on a bench and continued talking. That’s when I get call #1 from my mother. I pick it up and she asked where I was. I told her I was just hanging out in the area. Of course, she started freaking out, asking me to be more specific. I mouthed to Kevin how she was being a typical, overprotective mom. For laughs, I put her on speaker phone so he could hear how worked up she was getting about me (out of love, of course). I had told Kevin she knew who I was with beforehand. He said that was cool, because for all she knew, he could of been some serial killer.

Kevin proceeded to shout into the phone about how I was in safe hands. Oh, and that we were just getting high and drunk. I immediately went off speaker phone and told my mom none of that was true. My mom knows me, so she believed me, but she of course got very concerned about him after she heard that. Not because she worried about him influencing me, but apparently because she found him to be too nonchalant considering he had never met her before. I said I’d keep her updated. We then walked over to sit on the grass and there were definitely some flirtatious vibes going back and forth. It had only been about 20 minutes since phone call #1, and then I see my mom calling again. I pick it up and she said that she was going to send my dad to pick me up in the next ten minutes. I said to her that Kevin offered to give me a ride home. She then proceeded to freak out at me: “Listen to me right now. Please, do not get in the car with him.” She continued and her voice kept growing with concern and anger for me to listen to her. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like she was ruining the end of my date. I could tell Kevin was getting frustrated and God knows what he was thinking about my family and me. I hung up on my mom (I know, horrible). Kevin then said:

It’s getting kind of late, and I know we both have to get up early for work tomorrow. Do you still want a ride home?

My mom’s voice got in my head and I told him I was just going to walk home (as much as I would have loved for him to drive me home). He understood. I felt like an idiot. We hugged goodbye and there really wasn’t any mention of seeing each other again. I felt like the night could have ended on such a better note if my mom hadn’t interfered.

My dad found me about halfway home so I hopped in the car but was too angry to speak. When I got home I stormed to my room. My mom came upstairs shortly after and apologized several times. She felt really bad, but was genuinely concerned about me getting into a car with him.

I was really upset with her that night, but I forgave her soon after. As her actions were only out of love and concern for me.

I texted Kevin shortly after I got home to apologize for what happened and hoped he didn’t get the wrong impression of me or my family. I told him I freaked out at my mom and he responded, saying I shouldn’t blame her. So update: I haven’t heard from him since then. You know what though, if he’s not going to give me a second chance based on that, then he really isn’t worth having in my life. Your thoughts?

The Most Unconventional First Date

It had been almost 3 weeks since I started talking to my South African boy, Jon, on Tinder. Since my last blog post, A True South African Gentleman, we continued talking on a daily basis through Skype and text. The more we talked, the more I felt like we had known each other forever. However, I also started growing a bit tired of our online relationship. I didn’t want what we had to turn into another one of my hopeless fantasies that would never result in anything.

Living about an hour away from each other wasn’t ideal, but Jon and I were both interested enough to make things work. He had gotten into a pretty serious accident and hurt his back around when we first started talking, so he still wasn’t completely comfortable driving on his own just yet. Jon told me that his sister offered to drive the both of them to my area. When he suggested that to me, I wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was about time we had our first date, yet if his sister came along it could make things a bit awkward and also make her feel like a bit of a third wheel. After a long period of contemplation, I decided to have them both over to my house Saturday evening.

When Saturday arrived, I was pretty nervous. I think I changed my outfit at least five times, and my nails have never gone through so many colour changes within an hour. I had actually planned a special surprise for them. My dad offered to cook up a South African delicacy, boerewors (which is a type of sausage).

So yes, I know what you’re thinking. We pretty much fast tracked ten dates for our first ever face to face meeting.

Jon and his sister arrived and my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. I hugged him and his sister hello. Jon then presented me with a bouquet of beautiful lilacs and I smiled bashfully. He admitted his sister had helped pick out the flowers, which was so incredibly sweet.

We went out to my backyard and my dad had started cooking on the BBQ. I made the introductions. It was so much for me to take in at once. Yet, surprisingly it wasn’t as awkward as you may think. In fact, the four of us got into great conversation right away and it felt like we had all known each other for quite some time. Jon and his sister were grinning at one another as soon as they smelled the boerewors (they knew what it was instantly).

After dinner, my dad left and I opened up a bottle of ice wine for the three of us to share. I gave Jon my guitar and he started playing some of his own, original music as the sun was fading. It was so romantic, although I couldn’t get completely into the moment as his sister was sitting behind him. She was just relaxing and had her eyes closed, so at points of the evening it did feel like it was just the two of us. I sang along with him to ‘Yellow’ by Coldplay, and he even taught me a few of the chords which are perfection. Seriously, the most beautiful guitar chords I’ve ever heard. He’s such an incredible guitarist (I told him he needs to get his own YouTube channel going). After Jon gave us a little show, he passed it along to his sister for her to play a song.

I have a chimineya in my backyard, so at that point we decided to get a fire going. Jon started placing the firewood inside the pit. It was mesmerizing to watch the fire flutter back and forth and seeing little sparks exiting the pit, within seconds disappearing into thin air. The smell of the firewood was heavenly. We made some s’mores and afterwards Jon and I went to lie on my hammock. His sister was on her phone so we just went over. I colossally failed the first time around as I jumped onto the hammock and managed to do a complete 360 degree turn and toss myself over the other side. We just laughed it off and then positioned ourselves comfortably onto the hammock and were lying in each others arms. His head rested on mine and my one hand lay on his chest. He told me he could fall asleep right then and there. It was so perfect. In that moment, I felt like he was my boyfriend. His sister had gone to the washroom for quite some time as we were lying there. We looked at each other at certain moments and I thought of kissing him. However, I decided to wait. It was just the first date, and I wanted to share that moment when it was just the two of us and no one else around.

His sister came over to join us after a little while (dragged a lawn chair over to the hammock and lay facing us). We kept talking and laughing, and the more we talked, the more similarities I discovered. Around 10:30pm the mosquitoes had done an excellent job of attacking his sister and I, so we quickly brought everything inside. We moved into the living room and he had his arm around me on the couch, even with my dad hanging around the house.

Despite it being such a nontraditional first date, it somehow just felt right. Totally worth the 10+ mosquito bites. He texted me on the car ride home saying how incredible I was and thanked me again. It was so sweet and genuine and I couldn’t wipe away the large grin from my face.

As my dad and I got comfortable to watch the latest Hell’s Kitchen episode, we noticed Jon’s wallet had fallen out of his pocket and was tucked into the couch!

I quickly texted him: You totally left your wallet on purpose to see me again, right? ;)

Jon: Oh crap! I like having a great excuse like that.

He couldn’t get anyone to drive him back the next day. However, his mom was visiting their family friends in my area the following day so I just dropped it off there.

I’m really looking forward to seeing him again. Hopefully it’ll just be the two of us next time! The only thing that worries me is the hour distance between us. Do you think I should be concerned about that?