It’s a Small World…

About a week ago I got a new match on Bumble; let’s call him Real Estate Guy. We wrote back and forth during the week, and I learned we had quite a bit in common. He lived downtown, but grew up in the same suburban city as me (his family literally lives a few streets away). We went to the same high school — but I never crossed paths with him as he was a year below me. We joked about how the app had a brilliant algorithm in place to match people up.

His first name wasn’t very common and sounded quite familiar — so I thought why not do a quick Facebook search. Sure enough, his profile was the first to pop up – and as soon as I saw his last name, I freaked out. Years ago I worked as a front desk receptionist at my dads office – and this guy would come in frequently as he had a sports injury that needed treatment. I was smitten by him and got my dad to investigate – but unfortunately he was in a relationship at the time.

Fast forward 6 or 7 years later – and here we are. We had our first date last night! I chose not to tell him about my crush on him years before or even to remind him that he had been into my dads office.

He picked me up in his stick shift Audi and away we went to a local restaurant for dessert and and drinks.

Over the next two hours conversation flowed so well. I was happy to learn he was very close with him family and also a travel enthusiast. Most importantly, I found another cat lover!

After about 2 hours – we decided it was too early to call it a night on a Friday evening. Next stop: glow in the dark mini-putting. Trust me, you can never be too old to go! We had a great time.

He drove me home around 11:30.

“So what are you up to for the rest of the weekend?” I said.

“My parents are out of town and we are going to have a party for my brothers birthday tomorrow night. Actually, you should come!”

I told him that sounded fun and I’d let him know. With that he walked me to my door (what a gentleman!) As we said goodnight, he leaned in and kissed me. It was so sweet. He was so sweet…

I woke up this morning with another realization. Oh. My. God. I ran to Facebook and searched his last name again. I found his brother’s page – the one whose birthday it was. I couldn’t believe it. I went on a date with him years ago – I have no idea whether he remembers me or not. If he does, it could be very awkward if I go to the party tonight.

I think the best thing to do is just play it cool if I go. I doubt he’d say anything, but still. What!! What would you guys do?

—-

I wanted to give you an update on Finance Guy from Valentine’s Day. After giving it quite a bit of thought – I decided not to pursue anything further with him. I felt as though his lifestyle and mine just didn’t match. It was a fun adventure, but onto the next!

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Sinking the Balls

Six weeks post-surgery and I’m finally back in the dating game!

Almost a year ago, I got matched with Mathew on Tinder. We messaged each other back and forth for a few weeks and I seem to recall we had tried making plans to meet up, but for some reason or another the timing just didn’t work out. He was finishing up his business program and was off to Argentina to spend his final co-op semester there. We decided to stay connected over Facebook with the possibility of meeting when he returned – but our conversation simply faded away when he left.

Fast forward to two weeks following my operation. AB and I started talking less and less. He never came to visit me which was disappointing and my intuition was telling me to move on. Being housebound, I decided to get cozy on my couch and begin to update my dating profiles with new pictures (I look like a totally different person now!) I began to start my search into the new crop of men that had entered the world of online dating.

Sure enough, at the top of my search list on PofF – appeared Mathew! I had almost forgotten about him. His profile said he was back in town, looking for a relationship, and still lived in my neighbourhood. I decided there was no harm in sending him a private Facebook message to see how he was doing.

He responded, and again, we started writing back and forth. We caught up a bit on both of our lives – and I explained to him about my jaw surgery which he seemed really interested in. About a week into our conversation – I asked if he’d still be open to meeting up for drinks. He said yes! I agreed for him to pick me up at 8:30PM last night and we’d go to a local pub to play some pool and have a drink. Not that I usually advocate having someone you’ve never met before pick you up on a first date – but I thought this guy was harmless and that it was unlikely he’d kidnap me.

He arrived right at 8:30PM. My stomach churned with nerves but mostly excitement. As I entered his car, he said hello in a deep, sexy voice and I immediately melted. He was gorgeous and smelt divine. Mathew pulled out the GPS on his phone to locate the closest pubs and once we settled on one – away we went. Despite my minor recovery lisp – we managed to have a really great car ride conversation – talking about our family, and places we’ve traveled to.

We arrived at the pub and when we began walking towards the entrance, I noticed he was very tall – probably 6’1! No faults so far…

The pub wasn’t huge but there was a private area in the centre with a pool table and a few tables and chairs. Nobody was there so we joked about how he had reserved the section just for us. We placed our coats down and went to the bar to order drinks. This was my first drink post-surgery, and it was amazing! It was nice to finally drink something besides ensure shakes and apple juice…

We placed our drinks down and started playing a game of pool. We flat out admitted at the beginning we were both horrible at pool – but would still give it our best go. Now I’m not sure if it was the few sips of alcohol in me or my new found confidence, but I was sinking those balls in one after the next. ;) Poor Mathew wasn’t having as easy a time, and told me I must have been lying and that I’ve been playing this game all my life. He seemed quite impressed. When I got 3 in a row, he said, “well done” and put his hand out to shake mine but I playfully said “no, I think that deserves a hug!” Seriously – am I the same person?! He opened his arms and embraced me in a warm hug which I could have easily held onto the rest of the night.

I ended up winning and gave myself a little pat on the back. We then sunk the remaining balls and sat down at our table where the drinks were. We opened up so much to one another – which I thought was incredible for a first date! He asked to see before and after pictures of my surgery which I was a bit hesitant to show, but I agreed to it and he was blown away. He really didn’t think it was the same person. Surely – it was! I loved how interested he was in my life, my stories and my surgery. He in turn was so open with me about his life – his family, childhood and even surgeries he had gone through. Most importantly – we bonded over our love for word games and N64. We both play an addicting phone app called Words with Friends (kind of like a virtual game of Scrabble which I highly recommend everyone play!)

It was 11PM and I knew we should probably head back soon as we had work the next day. Mathew also had to get up early but kept saying, “whatever you want, I’m cool to stay until whenever” – it was exciting that he wasn’t the one to mention having to leave. That he genuinely wanted to spend more time with me. As the night went on, it got busier and another group of people started playing pool. I could tell there were a few girls staring over at us and I kept thinking – how lucky am I to be with this incredible, gorgeous guy. Truly… I have no clue why he’s still single but I didn’t want to bring that up on a first date.

Anyway – I made the decision for us to leave at 11:15PM. We got into his car and blasted the heater (it’s freezing in Toronto so it was nice to get cozy). He drove us back to my house and parked the car. Ugh… the moment – will he kiss me? I damn well wanted to kiss him! However, I can’t feel my bottom lip… literally. I’m still numb and was kind of curious to see what I could and couldn’t feel in a kiss after 6 weeks.

Unfortunately I didn’t get a kiss. However, the first thing he said when we parked was that he had a great time and would love to see me again – even suggesting we go see a movie next week. I was over the moon excited, but stayed cool and responded with, “I’d love that.” He hugged me goodnight and I told him to drive home safe. I got in, ran to my room – stared at myself in the mirror and smiled. I smiled because I was staring at a girl that was more confident, and gleaming from head to toe. A girl who finally felt happy in her own skin. This was the first date where I didn’t end it thinking, “I wonder if he liked me?” To have such a successful first date after being out of the dating game for almost two months – was incredible.

So now we wait. I hate the “game” so much – but unfortunately you have to play a bit hard to get at the beginning! The hook is there, now just have to reel him in. I’ve decided I’ll wait for Mathew to write to me – but if he hasn’t reached out by Sunday I may shoot him a casual message. Unless you can think of a better post-first-date strategy to lock down Date #2?

Conflicted

Adam and I got matched on Tinder at the time I started getting to know AB. We had four mutual friends and lived fairly close to one another. I learned he worked in the financial industry downtown Toronto, his family lived up North (near where I live) and we were both Big Brother fans.

Adam and I tried meeting up, but unfortunately it didn’t work out. We had little opportunity to plan for any other day as he was leaving on a work trip for several weeks. We decided to add each other on Facebook and get in touch when he was home. As I got to know AB more – I started wondering if Adam would write to me when he got back and if he did, if I’d even want to meet up with him.

Sure enough – about a week ago, Adam reached out to me saying he was back in town and he asked if I still wanted to meet for drinks. I was torn, because although I think AB is a very nice and caring guy, I didn’t want to close this door since I had felt that Adam and I would be quite compatible when we first connected. We made plans to go to a pool hall / bar downtown yesterday evening. We met at 7:30 – he was already waiting outside. I approached him and boy was he tall… I learned he was 6’4! He smiled, said hello and put his hand out to shake mine but instead I went in for a hug. We proceeded upstairs to the bar and pool table area. He got drinks for both of us – I got a comso and he got a beer. We sat down at a nearby table. I was living vicariously as he talked about his tales of adventure – getting to swim with sharks and sea lions. After about twenty minutes, we went over to a pool table and got a game going. There were certainly flirtatious vibes in the air. We were both equally horrible at the beginning – neither of us able to sink a ball, but the more alcohol we consumed, the better our shots seemed to get.

I learned we had fairly similar taste in music. I asked Adam what the most recent concert was that he went to and my jaw almost dropped to the floor when he said, “I don’t know if this classifies as a traditional concert, but I went to a taped Bryan Adams event recently”. The exact same concert I had gone to with AB. We could have been rows apart from each other. I mean, what are the chances? We kept taking our turns at pool, and we seemed so completely relaxed in each others presence. I learned we had gone to the same camp when we were younger, he used to work as a lifeguard a mere five minutes from my house and that he too is very close with his family.

After we finished our game of pool – we sat back down and talked for another 45 minutes. He was tall, dark and handsome – and had the sweetest smile and eyes. I could have looked into them all night but alas the night had to come to an end as I had to get up for work early this morning. At around 11 he walked me to the subway station where we said goodnight and he told me he’d be in touch.

The subway ride home was a tough one for me. I was going back and forth in my head between AB and Adam. I definitely connected more with Adam from the get go, whereas it took a bit longer for AB and I to find common ground. Adam and I are also from the same religious background – so it was nice to relate on that level. I also like that Adam and I have mutual friends and he is familiar with my neighbourhood.

However, then I reflected on my relationship with AB who has to this day been so caring towards me and seems really into me. However, I just don’t know if I would have even agreed to meet up with Adam if I was completely convinced that AB and I were meant to be together.

How much of a role do you think religious and cultural backgrounds play when developing a relationship with someone? I feel conflicted because I don’t want to lead AB on any further if I start to see Adam, but I’m afraid of letting him go completely. Do you think I’m being unfaithful by dating two guys at one time if neither relationship has been identified as exclusive?

LinkedIn to Love

Working in the design industry, my profession is all about networking and connecting with others. LinkedIn is a social networking website which has really helped push my career forward… but never did I think it may also be a place where I would find a potential love interest. Although – if you think about it… what girl wouldn’t go a bit gaga over a profile picture of a guy in a sexy business suit? Or browsing a profile of a guy who appears quite career driven?

Back in October I logged onto LinkedIn and was browsing through the ‘People You May Know’ section. I came across a handsome guy who looked around my age. I didn’t know him but I decided to peak at his profile anyway, and discovered he lived in the same city as me and worked in the financial industry. I went ahead and added him as a LinkedIn friend and he accepted my invitation a few hours later!

I figured I had nothing to lose by sending Zach a private message.

“Hey. Thanks for connecting! If you / your company ever needs any design or branding materials developed, let me know. On a side note, you look pretty familiar.. not sure where from though. I’m sure we’ve crossed paths at some point!”

The last line was a lie – although I didn’t think it hurt to add that in since we both lived in a city where a lot of people knew one another.

The next day I got a reply!

“Thanks for letting me know. I actually have a live streaming / gaming TV account that I started and was interested in getting a custom design created for it sometime in the near future. Would your rates be fairly reasonable for a small project like that? Also yeah, your last name seems familiar. Thanks for connecting!”

Even though the design project was completely unrelated to his professional career – that didn’t matter. The fact that he had a project for me meant we would get to talk more. I also found it incredibly attractive that he is a gamer. Growing up – I used to be a huge video game nerd. I’d pretty much crush all of you at any N64 game!

I responded the following day telling him I was somewhat familiar with what he was telling me about and that maybe we should meet up over coffee and discuss the project further. No response. Was a bit disappointed, but I moved on from it and focused on work and my other online prospects.

January 8th – I received a new message alert from Zach in my LinkedIn inbox.

“Hope you had a good holiday! I was wondering if you were familiar with vector imaging. I’m looking for someone that’s able to make a cartoon version of me for a website. (I know… sounds strange) Let me know whenever you get a chance, may have something for you. Thanks!”

I wrote back and told him I’d be up for the challenge. I gave him my email address and from there he sent me a more detailed outline of the intricate character he wanted. I had never designed anything like this before and knew it would be a bit of a learning curve for me – but I was willing to take on the challenge… especially for him!

Today we spoke on the phone for about half an hour and right off the bat I was pretty smitten due to his confident, sexy voice. Soon into the conversation he asked me if I had Facebook – as he said it would be easier to ‘send over links’ through Facebook chat. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that one – was he wanting to check me out more? I didn’t know what other reference links he could really send me other than what was sent via email. Not that I was complaining – as I was certainly interesting in learning more about him.

Every now and then we veered slightly off topic but we primarily kept the conversation on a professional level. As the conversation came to an end, he told me to check out his live streams during the week and I said I’d keep him updated with my progress on the design as well.

I can’t tell if he’s single as his Facebook page doesn’t mention his relationship status. Although from looking at his recent pictures – there doesn’t appear to be any other girl.

How do you think I can take this to the next level after the business part of this relationship is over?

Hopeless Romantic or Kinky Ass?

Just over a week ago, I reached out to Aaron on PlentyofFish. On his profile, it said he was looking for a relationship, lived in the same city as me and that he was a hopeless romantic.

We sent several messages back and forth and I learned we had quite a bit in common. Both of us shared a love for music, turns out his sister went to the same art/design University as me (which is rare considering how small my school’s population is), and we lived fairly close by each other.

About two days into our conversation…

Aaron: “So suburbangirl4love…. tell me something about yourself! Something that maybe you’ve never told anyone before…or maybe too embarrassed to tell… lol could be for any reason.”

Me: “Hmmm.. well I’m a pretty open person – I don’t think there is really anything I haven’t told my friends. I can tell you some things about me that I haven’t shared with you yet. I can definitely be a bit of a nerd. Love Mario kart n64 (kind of the champ at that game) and lately I’ve kinda gotten into chess. Too awesome, right? Your turn.”

Aaron: “Ahah thats not embarrassing at all! You’re only the champ because you haven’t faced me yet! I don’t think you get an embarrassing or fun fact about me until you step up the game ;) Chess is fun though. I haven’t played in years.”

Me: “How am I supposed to step up the game, hmm?”

Aaron: “Let’s start with something embarrassing…. of course there’s always the pro move of pulling out the something kinky card, but then this isn’t the majors now ;)”

I had to give this some serious thought. Unfortunately, my mind drew a blank – which was kind of sad. I’ve always been very sweet and mature, so I never got myself into any wild or embarrassing situations that really stood out in my mind. Anyway, of course, the only logical thing to do was to Google search ‘top 50 embarrassing situations to be in’ and on the list – it said ‘your bathing suit falling off in public’. I grinned, as reading this finally triggered a story. I recalled my experience back when I was a counselor at Day Camp. Of course, on the day of the swim test, I wore this flimsy string bikini that I hadn’t worn in forever thinking it’d be cute to show off. Then, about half way through the test I noticed several of the male life guards were staring.. and when I looked back down I notice my top had completely gone loose. I’d say that was pretty embarrassing.

Aaron: “ooo naked camp stories is it. Well in that case I see your couple of guy counselors and raise you your entire cabin full of kids. When I was a CIT, at the dining hall no less, once everyone was seated my buddy comes up from behind me and pantsed me in front of everyone… now that put the ass in embarrassing!”

That put a huge grin on my face. Anyway, we wrote a bit more harmless, flirtatious comments back and forth until he asked if I had WhatsApp on my phone so we could talk through that instead.

5 days ago I checked my phone and saw I got a new Facebook friend request alert from none other than him. I was confused as I never gave him my name on Facebook. I asked him how he found me and all he said was that it took him two tries… first time he added another girl who looked like me, who is apparently my doppelganger.

Anyway, I was fine with it and added him back.

The flirtatious comments from him continued over the next two days – telling me I needed to unwind at the end of a long work day with a nice hot chocolate by the fire, massage and rom com in the background. It was sweet and still it was nothing that made me feel uncomfortable.

This brings us up to three days ago.

Aaron: “You said you like lazy Sundays?”

Me: “For sure! Chilling in my PJ’s all day – the life.”

Aaron: “Hahah. Oh. My lazy Sundays, I prefer naked.”

I waited awhile to respond, meanwhile he wrote again saying I had been quiet.

Me: “To be honest, I was a little taken aback by your last comment. I don’t want you to think I’m just on this site for hooking up.”

Aaron: “Ahaha no, I know you aren’t and to be honest I don’t want you to think I am either. At the same time though, I know there is a sexual side to relationships and having been in one for 4 years I know how important it is to have one where you’re both on the same level physically as well as emotionally.”

Me: “I totally get that – but without having met me, a comment like that could be misinterpreted and may be a bit premature. ;) If you want to get to know me better, it might be best to move this to a phone conversation sometime or meet up for coffee.”

No response. It’s been two days since I sent that.

Do you feel this hopeless romantic went too far? Maybe I should have just gone along with it instead of perhaps scaring him off a bit. I could respond saying, “well, you’ve been quiet”.

However, if he’s only looking to have a sexual conversation online and not have the courage to ask me out on a date, is he really worth it?

Talking on the Phone vs Texting

About a week and a half ago, I started communicating with Cory on POF. He looked gorgeous in his pictures (none of them made me question whether he was a ‘catfish‘). Cory recently graduated from University / moved to Toronto. His profile stated that as a recent graduate, he was doing lots of soul searching and introspection to figure out where to go in his life and his response has been to a) drink lots of tea and b) BLOG.

I thought to myself… wouldn’t it would be funny if we were both blogging about our dating stories? It would be interesting to read both of our first date perspectives about one another. Little did he know that I was a blogger myself.

We started talking about what our favourite teas were, as he mentioned working at a tea store. I was telling him about my adventures attending high tea. From there we talked briefly about where we lived (turns out we are only 10-15 away from each other), what we studied, and what our plans for the future were career wise.

After about 5 messages back and forth I made the next move and gave Cory my cell number. I suggested he call or text me sometime as it would be an easier way to have a conversation.

This past Tuesday he texted me. The first two days we were texting very quickly back and forth. On day 2 I asked if he wanted to call me but he said:

“I’m actually watching [fill in movie name] with my housemate. We haven’t seen much of each other lately so we’re catching up. Rain check!”

I thought to myself… that’s fair. At least he asked for a rain check. Mean while we kept texting back and forth a bit while he was watching the movie. As the next few days passed our text messages ranged from being an hour apart to days apart.

This past Wednesday, Cory told me he was having an interview the following day so I told him to let me know how it went. The following day I never heard from him. I texted him Friday night asking how it went. Still no response…

I was beginning to question whether this guy was being legit. I decided to be a ‘catfish‘ detective by dragging and dropping two of his online profile pictures into a google image search. I came across his LinkedIn (which seemed pretty up to date with everything he told me about himself) and it also provided me with his last name. From there I searched that name on Facebook and sure enough, I found him! 930 friends, 2 mutual ones and he even shared some of his WordPress blog posts on his wall which was set to public. I was too tempted and clicked the link and scrolled through. He did have some relationship posts but the majority of what I skimmed through talked about life in general. He is a great writer.

Anyway, I decided to text one last time this morning saying, “everything okay?” About an hour later he wrote back, apologizing for not responding sooner. He was out of town attending his old Universities homecoming weekend. He asked how my weekend was going.

I was getting tired of all the texting. I wrote back saying that he should just call me when he got back in town and we could talk more then. He wrote back saying:

“I’m not really a phone conversation person. I feel a lot is lost when you can’t see body language and hear tone. Although I’m hypocritical because I like to text… haha”.

Yeah, completely hypocritical I’d say. Sure, some people just aren’t comfortable with talking on the phone, I get that. Still – I felt something just wasn’t adding up. I wrote back:

“That’s fair! I like texting too but I find it’s really hard to have any sort of real conversation. Are you interested in meeting up at some point?”

Cory wrote back saying:

“This is true for any prolonged length. For sure. My schedule is a little sporadic this week but maybe we can find time for coffee, or tea! :P”

I haven’t responded yet. I would like to meet him, but part of me thinks I’d feel more comfortable at least hearing his voice once before. Perhaps even if it’s just to arrange where to meet. What would you suggest I do with him? Ever experienced something similar?

Tale of the Princess Maffle

Last Wednesday I received a text message from my younger cousin who is one of my loyal blog followers. She wrote saying:

“I want to set you up with this guy I work with!”

Of course I was curious so I asked her more about who he was. Eli worked at the same theatre as her. She told me he was turning 25, had two degrees, was very down to earth / funny, and most importantly: single.

Naturally this got me pretty intrigued. I asked if she felt he was my type. She replied:

“I could totally see you guys together.”

I told her to pass along my Facebook name so he could add me. About an hour and a half later, I received a new friend request alert from him. I logged onto his page from my phone and started flipping through his pictures. He was cute! Tall, lanky and had a very young-boy(ish) look, which is the type I generally go for.

Over the next 24 hours, we exchanged about 8 lengthy messages through Facebook chat. From there we exchanged cell numbers. This past Saturday we decided to talk on the phone and the conversation lasted about an hour and a half long! I was pleasantly surprised.

We arranged to meet a few days later at a coffee/dessert spot that neither of us had been to before (which Eli had heard great things about). It was called ‘Cafe Princess’. The name sold me instantly.

I arrived a few minutes after 8pm, and saw Eli already sitting at one of the ornate tables in the corner by a large window. He got up, smiled, and came over to me. We hugged hello. We walked back over to the table and I immediately expressed how cute and comfy the place was. There were large and luxurious couches, star decorations above each of the tables, and the menus had a very cute, whimsical feel. As Eli and I were reading through the menu, some of the hand-written items were so illegible that we couldn’t help but laugh and make fun of them. We decided to share the ‘Princess Waffle’. Although, the W in their hand writing appeared upside down so we kept referring to it as the ‘Princess Maffle’. We then proceeded to stare out the window and joke sarcastically about how beautiful the scenery was (pointing out the gas station and roads).

About 15 minutes later, our ‘Princess Maffle’ arrived at our table and we were presented with a white waffle… YES, white – which came with two scoops of ice cream, strawberries and kiwi. Confused, I looked back at the menu and completely didn’t process that in brackets next to this menu item it read ‘made out out of rice cakes’. Uh oh…

Eli could tell by my reaction that something was up. He asked if I was okay with it. I said… “of course. There’s a first for everything, right?” I took the first bite and I’m pretty sure the expression on my face was priceless. It was the chewiest waffle I had ever tasted. It tasted nothing like a waffle… maybe it truly was a maffle! It was bland, and I could feel it slowly getting stuck in my braces. At least it was white so the pieces wouldn’t show, but I knew I couldn’t take another bite. He was very sweet about it and finished off the maffle. I helped myself to the ice cream and fruit.

Overall the date went well! Did I feel instant butterflies? No… but maybe that feeling will grow if I continue getting to know him.

The next day, Eli wrote to me saying he had a nice time and asked if I’d be interested to go out again soon. We’ve tentatively scheduled to go out next Monday. He seems like a really genuine guy that’s looking for a relationship, or should I say princess? Of course, I want my prince charming too. So why am I not over the moon excited to see him again? I guess I’m not used to the guy being so eager to pursue me… I’m used to the chase, and part of me secretly loves it. I know I need to grow up and get over it.

What’s your take on ‘the chase’? Would you encourage me to go on a second date with Eli?