A million miles away P.2

Continuation of ‘A million miles away‘…

Me: Safe travels! Let me know when you’re here.

SA Boy: You know it.

Picture he attached upon arrival at airport

SA boy was here, in Canada! It didn’t seem real. We had been messaging and calling one another over Whatsapp since the beginning of February. The thought of finally getting to meet him face to face was incredibly exciting.

He wrote early the next day, saying he was pretty busy with family activities during the day – but could hang out later in the evening for dinner, with the potential of joining him and his cousins afterwards at a bar.

We decided to meet up at 8pm for a late dinner. I was disappointed to learn that he was just going to be having a guys night out with his cousins. That meant we would only have 2 hours together before he had to meet them, but that wasn’t going to put a damper on my evening.

I arrived at the restaurant right at 8, and ran straight to the washroom to freshen up. I awkwardly sat on the toilet for about 5 minutes, eagerly waiting for him to say “I’m here”. However, SA boy didn’t appear to be receiving my messages, and I was developing a pit in my stomach.. thinking that he wasn’t going to show up. Around 10 after I walked out of the washroom back towards the front entrance. As I’m walking, someone stands up from their table and taps my shoulder. Startled, I look over and it was him!

He grinned and showcased the most beautiful dimples I’ve ever seen. He bent his 6’4 stature over to hug me hello. I must have been blushing like a little school girl. Then he started talking…. and my whole body melted. It was one thing to hear his sexy South African accent over the phone, but to have the whole package *ha ha* in front of me, I just couldn’t take it.

Our time together whizzed by. We ordered some drinks and both got the same pasta dish. We were joking around about South African vs. Canadian lingo. Like did you know that in SA, they call street lights robots? Also, trunks here are called boots there! Before I knew it his cousins were writing, asking where he was.

He was quite the gentleman and pulled out his wallet to pay, but I insisted it was on me since he was a guest in my country. He then walked me to the subway. It was so cute… his teeth were chattering the entire walk over (they don’t get snow in SA, and the coldest it ever gets is about 5 degrees). I looped my arm through his, joking around saying I’d keep him warm. He clearly took that as an opening to place his arm around me and pull us closer together.

When we got to the subway, he ordered an Uber and we talked about potentially meeting up once more the next day before I left to go out of town. I looked up at him, our eyes locked, and like out of a fairy tale, we kissed. I completely blocked out the people walking around us – and soaked in those next 2 minutes before he had to go. He was an amazing kisser. ;)

We tried to meet up again the next day, but sadly the timing didn’t work. We agreed that when I go visit there, we would have more time to spend together.

I’m trying to stay realistic. He lives half way around the world. July is also a fair time away. I’ll keep my search going in the mean time, but rest assured there will most certainly be a part 3 to this story. Potentially part 4, if this fairy tale has more chapters.

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Signals

Jeremy and I got matched on Coffee Meets Bagel two weeks ago. The app had been on my phone for a little while and I really wasn’t having any luck… up until his handsome profile popped up.

Over the next week we were writing back and forth quite a bit. I discovered we shared a lot in common and he sounded quite mature and grounded for a guy in his mid 20s. He also conveniently lived a walk away from where I work! So it was only natural that the next step was to meet up for drinks after work one evening.

I met up with Jeremy last Thursday after work at a cute little Italian restaurant with a beautiful outdoor patio. He was waiting outside the restaurant when I arrived – and he looked even more handsome than in his photos. We hugged hello and made our way inside (he held the door open for me, which made my heart melt just a little). Unfortunately for us, it was 40 degrees out so we opted to eat inside.

We had the whole upper level dining area to ourselves – truly couldn’t have asked for a more romantic setting! Once we got past the initial nervous banter, conversation seemed to flow pretty well. We picked up where we left off on the app and started diving into more about our families and travel adventures. I was inadvertently twirling my hair the entire night and he seemed to be sending me signals he was interested as well. First off – there was no checking his phone the entire time we were together (except for when he showed me pictures of his dogs – which were incredibly cute). Second, he combed his hand through his luscious surfer hair multiple times — guys, am I reading too much into that one or is that a definite sign of showing off / interest? Third – there were a few times that he stretched his arms up to show off his biceps — I was definitely liking what I saw.

Once we finished dinner – he offered to pay. Huge signal he likes me, right? Otherwise, he could have just split the bill since we shared a salad and pizza. He then walked back to the subway station with me even though it was past his street to go home. At that point we hugged goodbye and I felt the date ended on a great note.

So here I am — trying to get through my work day last Friday… although every 5 seconds I’m glancing over at my phone hoping to see his name pop up. 5PM rolls around and nothing. Saturday, nothing. At this point I was starting to get worried but figured maybe by the third day he’d message (playing it cool). Sunday, nothing.

Monday evening I decided to send him a text playing it cool and just said, “Hey! How was your weekend?” He responded almost an hour later, “Hey, weekend was good. Went up to a friends cottage.”

That’s it. He didn’t ask me how my weekend was, or any question in return. Obviously, I was feeling confused and hurt. I thought I picked up all these signals that he was interested, but I guess I was wrong. There’s been no correspondence since Monday – I never responded, because I didn’t feel there was anything to respond to. Wishing I had some closure – even though I know we only went on one date.

Thoughts?

When the Parents are Out

Ryan and I had been flirtatiously texting back and forth since our dinner and movie date. In fact – the following day, he wrote “ya… it probably won’t be good for you to wait another eight days to see me again like before”.

I knew the upcoming week would be crazy for me at work. So I suggested he come over for dinner on Saturday, as my parents were going out for the evening. He was all for it so plans were locked in.

Throughout the week I created a ‘sexy evening playlist’. Knowing that Ryan was potentially coming up to my room, I had to spend some serious time creating it in order to set the mood. 2.5 hours later – I was quite satisfied with the list. Here are a few songs that are great to take note of:

Earned It AND What You Need – The Weeknd. Thinking About You – Frank Ocean. Hold On We’re Going Home – Drake. Crave You [Adventure Club Dubstep Remix] – Flight Facilities. Love Me Again – John Newman. Anything Sam Smith. Anything John Legend. (If I missed any essentials – please share them!)

Saturday arrived and I was a bundle of nerves and excitement. After thoroughly examining the groceries in my fridge, I settled on making Chicken Parmesan, beans and pasta. Simple enough! I cleaned up my room and threw the majority of teddy bears in my bed drawer. Added some gloss to my lips and spritzed some perfume.

Ryan arrived at 7:30 looking handsome as ever. We proceeded into the kitchen and he seemed quite impressed with how I laid the table and the display of food. I was quite proud of myself – considering I’m not the best cook in the world. We enjoyed each others company over dinner – although I knew in the back of our minds we were both wanting to finish quickly so we could get past the awkward sexual tension.

After cleaning up, I offered to give him a tour of my house – which he happily agreed to.

We walked upstairs. “So here’s my washroom… oh and this is my bedroom”.

Ryan started walking around examining the certificates on my walls and then came across the guitar in the corner of my room. I picked it up and asked for him to play me something. Without using a pick – he started strumming and played beautiful melodies… which were quite mesmerizing. I asked for him to teach me some strumming patterns. So he wrapped his one arm around me and maneuvered my fingers over the strings, and as much as I was trying to pay attention, it was hard with his lips so close to me.

I tried strumming – but the sound wasn’t right. He proceeded to say – “if you don’t get it right the next time you try, I should get a kiss”. After he said that, I damn well wasn’t even going to try to make it sound right. After an unsuccessful second attempt, I placed the guitar down, turned on my playlist and dimmed the lights. I sat back down on my bed next to him.

“So about that kiss…”

As we were making out quite heavily – he noticed something in the corner of his eye. My cat had walked in and was giving him the evil eye, as if protecting me from this intruder. We continued kissing but he couldn’t stop laughing at the awkwardness of having my cat watching so attentively. So I grudgingly got up, placed her out of my room, shut the door, and the focus was back on me.

Almost 3 hours later I get a phone call from my younger sister saying she was on her way home from a friends party. I told him he was welcome to stay to meet her – so we hustled to get back to a presentable state and went downstairs. The meet and greet was very short. They simply said “hi, nice to meet to you” to one another, and then as any typical teenager would – she ran up to her room. Ryan and I made some waffles and ice cream and finished off the night by watching Saturday Night Live with his arm wrapped around me. He left at 12 – as I knew my parents were heading back around 12:30.

Being around him felt so comfortable. He’s sweet, respectful and a complete gentleman.

Ryan told me he’s mentioned me to his mom – so I’m thinking that’s a good sign. My family knows about him too. So am I off the market yet? I don’t know… I think I need a few more dates to evaluate. At the very least… I’m definitely thinking I will have a special Valentines this year.

Spring has Sprung, but not My Love Life

I thought I’d kick off the first day of Spring by grabbing Gelato with my latest Tinder match, David. We had started talking on March. 15. David and I had a few mutual friends, and didn’t live too far from one another. I made it clear right off the bat that I wasn’t looking for a casual hookup, and he felt the same way. Once that was out of the way, we started getting into a lengthy conversation through our Tinder messages. By day 2, he asked for my cell number, and so the conversation continued via texting. We talked about practically everything; where we went to school, places we’ve traveled, family, friends, likes/dislikes.. the list goes on for miles.

By day 3, we added each other on the iPhone application called Snapchat. What I really like about this app, is that you can send instant pictures and videos to one another for a certain number of seconds – which gives me a sense of relief, knowing their face matches that of their pictures. David and I also made plans to meet on Thursday (today).

By day 4, we must have sent at least 100 text messages back and forth between one another. We still hadn’t spoken on the phone. I had thought of bringing up the option several times but by this point, it didn’t really make sense as I had plans to meet him the next day.

I met up with David after work today, around 5:15pm. To sum up our date… we certainly clicked and there weren’t any long, awkward pauses as I thought there might be. However, I felt the conversation fell a bit flat. It was a bit of a let down as we really didn’t have any of the first date conversation topics left. I wasn’t ready to jump into talking about anything more serious, so all we had left to talk about was how work was and the weather (and that’s a sign to get out!) I also quite honestly didn’t feel the physical attraction was there in person, even though I did find him cute in his pictures.

After about an hour and a half – not even.. we decided to head our separate ways. There was no mention of seeing each other again.

A valuable lesson I’ve taken away from this – is that when you start talking to someone new.. you shouldn’t get to know each others full life story before you meet. It’s important to get to know each other in person. Otherwise, it may sometimes feel like a big let down and disappointment.

So yes, spring has officially sprung, but my love life is unfortunately still pretty cold.

What else can it mean?

Let me give you a quick recap as to why I felt my last two dates went so well.

The first guy, Joey (the Italian), had suggested for us to go out to see a movie after we had dinner (which was certainly a sign that he liked me enough to want to spend more time together). He texted me right after our date, asking if I got home safely. I felt our date couldn’t have gone any better. The next day he asked me what my name on Facebook was. The way we kept messaging each other back and forth made it seem that he was still truly interested in going out with me again.

Meanwhile, I felt as if my latest date with David had also gone so well. The fact that we spent over two hours together and with all that we had in common – I had a strong feeling I’d see him again. I had texted David shortly after our date saying I had a great evening. He responded about ten minutes later saying, ‘Glad to hear it :)’

Conclusion with Joey

Three weeks had gone by since Joey and I met and he still hadn’t suggested going on a second date. He seemed to be growing more distant. Confused – I sent him another message two nights ago on Facebook asking if he was still interested in seeing me again. He looked at the message. No response.

The next day I wrote again.

Me: “From your not responding I’ll presume not. I am genuinely curious though what happened between you asking to add me on Facebook to now?”

Joey: “Oh sorry… I forgot to answer. I would be interested in meeting up again. But in the interest of being completely honest, I’m kind of dating someone now (although I’m not sure if it’s going anywhere…) As long as you’re aware of that then yes, I would be interested in hanging out.”

Me: “Thanks for being honest with me. To be honest back, I’m not interested in seeing someone who is already dating someone else but would be up to see you again if things don’t work out. Keep me posted.”

Joey: “It very well might not work out haha… I will let you know. Thanks for understanding. In the meantime, hope you’re doing well. :)”.

Conclusion with David

I also texted David two nights ago with a simple, ‘Hey, what’s up?’ I was hoping that would strike up a conversation again which would lead in to me asking what he was up to this weekend. No response.

To this day, I still haven’t heard back. Since I texted him, I’ve seen him back online on the dating website. It’s very disappointing. Maybe I’ll message him in a few days from now, like I did with Joey, to see what his deal is. Maybe there is another girl in the picture as well.

My advise to you

After a great first date, it’s normal to feel disappointed and upset if you don’t hear from them again. I think the most important thing to remember is that you should never presume it has to do with you.

It’s important to recognize that guys and girls who use online dating sites date a large number of people before picking the one they want to solely pursue – or perhaps they have already been dating someone else and want to know what’s going on it the field before shutting down their profile.

In other news: I finally joined Twitter! For those of you who have an account, please follow me @suburbgirl4love

Also, my next date is with someone who I met offline – so stay tuned for how that works out for me!

Sangria’s, X’S and O’S

Over the last week, my Italian ‘fish’, Joey, has quickly slipped away back into the dating pond. I’m just as confused as many of you may be – after reading about the successful date I had with him two weeks ago. At any rate, I was back on the prowl and might have found myself an even better contender.

Meet David: a 24 year old accountant who also appreciates high tea and shares a love for traveling.

We had been talking back and forth on OKCupid for just over a week, when we decided to move things over to Facebook. The first thing I noticed was that our birthdays were three days apart. Thought that was pretty neat. Next, I saw we shared one mutual friend. Turns out that mutual friend was a girl I went to both elementary school and high school with! As I looked through a few pictures he was tagged in, I put the puzzle pieces together and figured out they were cousins. Small world! Anyway, I suggested the two of us go out for drinks to celebrate our birthdays.

Which leads us to tonight.

The two of us met up at Jack Astor’s Bar & Grill for drinks and dinner downtown. When I got there he was already waiting in the front entrance and stepped outside as he saw me walking up the stairs. He was very cute – just like in the pictures! We hugged each other hello and then proceeded to sit down at a booth inside the dining room.

We looked over the drink menu, and decided to share a pitcher of red Sangria. I could tell David was pretty nervous, as I was initiating the majority of conversation towards the beginning. Maybe it was just my beautiful presence which made his knees week. ;) Anyway, I felt like as we continued making our way through the bottle of Sangria, he felt more at ease and asked me more questions.

We talked about our families, and I was really pleased to hear how close he was with his parents and siblings. Our conversation pretty much covered all areas including places we traveled to, our University experiences, work life and pets (so happy he shared a love for cats like I do!)

The atmosphere was really nice and after about an hour of sitting down together, they dimmed the lights in the room. It was as if the waitress telepathically read my mind as it definitely made the setting more romantic.

Along with our Sangria’s, we shared a garlic bread and pizza. It was deelish! As we finished off our meal, I noticed there were some crayons at the table and our plates covered a sheet of drawing paper. That led into several games of X’s and O’s (which I won twice) and we also played a few games of hang man. Definitely a fun ice breaker activity on a first date. It was also a good way of learning what kind of bands he liked, cities he visited, and TV shows he watched. Even if you don’t have a Jack Astor’s in your city, I’m sure there is a similar restaurant that can allow you and your date to relive some of those classic childhood games.

Just over two hours later, he paid the bill (I offered to contribute) and we walked towards the subway. Once we got there I thanked David again for dinner. He said he had a nice time and hoped I got home safely. We had a nice hug goodbye and then we proceeded our separate ways. I had a silly grin on my face while taking the escalator down into the subway.

I texted him when I got home saying, “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got home safe and thanks again for a great evening!”

David responded about ten minutes later saying, “Glad to hear that. :)”

I really hope he’s interested in going on a second date! Don’t want to get too excited, but I think he is definitely a good one. Thoughts?

Storia D’amore

Over the last few days I’ve been writing back and forth with Joey on OkCupid. I stumbled across his profile and immediately liked what I saw. He was Italian (tall, dark and handsome). Joey proclaimed he was a huge geek when it came to TV shows, video games, board games, the arts — all of which I equally geek out over! To top of it all off he was studying to become a lawyer and spoke fluent Italian (what girl wouldn’t want to have the sexy Italian language whispered into her ear night and day?) Guys, time to pick up a new language!

We decided to meet Tuesday evening to grab dinner / drinks. I was pretty nervous, though excited! The plan was for him to meet me at the subway station close to where I work and from there go find a local pub and perhaps walk around the area afterwards to spot out some celebrities (as the Toronto International Film Festival is going on right now). At 5:30pm I received a text saying “can you call me when you get this?” I immediately braced myself for the worst, and dialed his number. He picked up after a few rings…

Joey: So I hope you don’t find this really weird but I was on the bus over to you and I got a horrible nose bleed. It’s pretty bad. Probably from the humidity outside. I need to go back home to shower / get changed.

Me: That’s horrible! I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to take a rain check on hanging out?

Joey: No, tonight still works! I’m not too far from my house. Can we meet up in half an hour / 45 minutes?

So the new plan was for me to venture further down the subway line (about 10 stops away from where I currently was) to go to a shopping mall which was closer to him. We decided to meet on the subway platform. Pretty romantic spot, right?

I started walking down the platform to spot him. The humidity was dreadful. It’s about 40 degrees Celsius here and I was praying my hair wouldn’t turn into a complete frizz ball by the time I made it to where he was standing. I finally spotted him. I know what you’re thinking and no… we didn’t run into each others arms and share a passionate kiss. However, we did share a really nice hug hello. We walked into the shopping mall which was connected to the subway and instantly started cooling down.

Joey was just as cute as how he appeared in his pictures. Conversation started off slowly until we parked ourselves down inside a Pickle Barrel restaurant. We ordered food and conversation picked up — we talked about everything from our travels to family to our pets.

We shared a Caesar salad. Of course I had to order the spaghetti and meatballs (classic Italian dish). He ordered a curry dish, and shared a bit of my pasta as it was very filling (unfortunately there was no Lady and the Tramp moment).

We finished dinner around 8:30pm and he suggested we go see a movie, as there was a theater inside the same mall. I definitely wanted to continue our date so we paid the bill and headed over to the theater. The earliest time the next movie played was an hour later, and I wasn’t quite sure what to do as I knew the movie probably wouldn’t end til around 11pm and I would still need to subway back home to the suburbs. Joey said it was totally up to me. He had already seen that movie but would totally see it again. He even offered to drive me home afterwards, depending on what I felt comfortable with.

I decided to stay and watch the movie with him. Over the next hour before the movie started we explored the Indigo store next door, and then played a game of air hockey (which I totally let him win). Afterwards, we got cozy in the theater and started watching. There were definitely some flirtatious vibes in the air! Our legs were touching, and my head was pretty close to resting on his shoulder a few times.

The movie ended at 11pm and we got to the subway around half past. I knew the subway ran until 1:30am but I had never taken it on my own that late at night. Let alone, I had never taken that route before, and knew I’d have to transfer subway lines twice to get back home. Again, he offered to drive me home but I felt bad as he was tired so I insisted to just subway home. I was embarrassed to discover I ran out of tokens and the worker at the booth would only accept cash. Being the gentleman he was, Joey handed me a $10 bill and let me buy some tokens with it. I insisted on paying him back later on but he said not to worry about it.

He waited on the platform with me (got through with his monthly pass). We talked a bit longer although we were back out in the heat and the humidity started making us both fade quite a bit. When the subway started emerging from the tunnel, we shared a fairly long hug goodbye. I told him I had a really nice time and said hopefully we can hang out again soon. He agreed (which I certainly hoped he meant).

I managed to get home safe and sound that night! He texted me around 12:30am to make sure I got home okay, which was so sweet. I didn’t get to bed until 1:30am that morning. Joey and I talked more last night (he initiated the conversation) which is definitely a good sign!

Sweet, genuine guys like him don’t come around very often, and I really hope this one does work out. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed!