Real Estate Guy: Part 2

I recently got back from The Bahamas – which was the perfect remedy for escaping the cold Canadian Winter. I’d give anything to be back on the beach with a rum punch in my hand, while getting cat called by the Bahamian men…

In the midst of all the last minute packing and finalizing work projects, I forgot to provide everyone with an update on Real Estate Guy (who I talked about in my last post here).

I ended up driving over to his brother’s birthday party around 11PM and REG greeted me at the doorway. I could see the party was already in full gear; there were at least 20-30 people on the main floor. Some were playing beer pong, and others were busy putting together the final touches on his brothers birthday cake. He took me around and introduced me to all his friends – including his roommates and his brothers girlfriends. Everyone was very friendly! I was overall feeling very comfortable with the setting and surprisingly didn’t feel too overwhelmed by the number of people.

After about an hour – we went downstairs to the basement, and there I discovered another large group of people – who I found out were his brothers friends. When he introduced me to his brother – we gave each other a friendly hello, and that was it. I was so relieved his brother didn’t mention anything about us going on a date years ago…

Later on REG gave me a tour of his place – we laughed over all his embarrassing childhood photos on the walls. The tour ended in his old bedroom. It was definitely your typical boys room – with playboy model posters on the wall and all his sports trophies lined up on his chest of drawers. We lay down on his bed and stared into each others eyes. He just couldn’t stop smiling as he stared at me and I couldn’t help but giggle. He kept asking, “what’s so funny?” and I kept saying… “nothing, you’re just a really sweet guy”.

We started kissing and… I could feel something wasn’t right. I wasn’t feeling any sort of spark or excitement when he kissed me. I thought to myself — it’s probably just the setting. It wasn’t very romantic – and I felt a bit uncomfortable being there for too long while his friends were still downstairs. So I cut the kissing and cuddling session short, and we went downstairs to join his friends for a bit longer. At 3AM he walked me to the door, we kissed goodnight and with that I left.

We saw each other again last Sunday. The evening started with dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant. It was our third date and I thought conversation would maybe get a bit deeper. I was still unsure about where him and his ex stood (as 2/3 of his Facebook photos were of him and her). However, it just stayed surface level. Afterwards we went to see a movie at a theater nearby. About half way in he reached to hold my hand. I did feel something when he held my hand – which I thought was a good sign.

When the movie ended, he drove me home. I thanked him for a really nice evening. He told me I should come back to his place the following weekend for a hot tub and wine date and I nodded saying we’d speak more about it later. He then leaned in again and kissed me. I tried to completely relax and clear my head, and be in the moment. I closed me eyes and as we were kissing, but I still felt nothing. I felt… awful.

Perhaps part of me wished he had a bit of a play hard to get / bad side. I know I need someone who is sweet and sincere, but I crave that element of mystery and danger. Passion and chemistry are things you need to build in a relationship, and if I wasn’t feeling anything by date 3, I didn’t feel it would be fair to lead him on any further. It’s been almost a week since our date, and neither of us haven’t written to the other.

Another blogger I follow suggested you should wait at least a week in between dates when you first start seeing someone. I feel like there is something to that. Maybe it was too much too soon, and that was part of what turned me off. What are your thoughts on this?

So here I am again, back to square 1. Months away from reaching a quarter of a century, and trying to stay as optimistic as possible that my prince charming is out there somewhere. I still have a lot of adventures planned for the rest of this year, so I have faith that he is out there!

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It’s a Small World…

About a week ago I got a new match on Bumble; let’s call him Real Estate Guy. We wrote back and forth during the week, and I learned we had quite a bit in common. He lived downtown, but grew up in the same suburban city as me (his family literally lives a few streets away). We went to the same high school — but I never crossed paths with him as he was a year below me. We joked about how the app had a brilliant algorithm in place to match people up.

His first name wasn’t very common and sounded quite familiar — so I thought why not do a quick Facebook search. Sure enough, his profile was the first to pop up – and as soon as I saw his last name, I freaked out. Years ago I worked as a front desk receptionist at my dads office – and this guy would come in frequently as he had a sports injury that needed treatment. I was smitten by him and got my dad to investigate – but unfortunately he was in a relationship at the time.

Fast forward 6 or 7 years later – and here we are. We had our first date last night! I chose not to tell him about my crush on him years before or even to remind him that he had been into my dads office.

He picked me up in his stick shift Audi and away we went to a local restaurant for dessert and and drinks.

Over the next two hours conversation flowed so well. I was happy to learn he was very close with him family and also a travel enthusiast. Most importantly, I found another cat lover!

After about 2 hours – we decided it was too early to call it a night on a Friday evening. Next stop: glow in the dark mini-putting. Trust me, you can never be too old to go! We had a great time.

He drove me home around 11:30.

“So what are you up to for the rest of the weekend?” I said.

“My parents are out of town and we are going to have a party for my brothers birthday tomorrow night. Actually, you should come!”

I told him that sounded fun and I’d let him know. With that he walked me to my door (what a gentleman!) As we said goodnight, he leaned in and kissed me. It was so sweet. He was so sweet…

I woke up this morning with another realization. Oh. My. God. I ran to Facebook and searched his last name again. I found his brother’s page – the one whose birthday it was. I couldn’t believe it. I went on a date with him years ago – I have no idea whether he remembers me or not. If he does, it could be very awkward if I go to the party tonight.

I think the best thing to do is just play it cool if I go. I doubt he’d say anything, but still. What!! What would you guys do?

—-

I wanted to give you an update on Finance Guy from Valentine’s Day. After giving it quite a bit of thought – I decided not to pursue anything further with him. I felt as though his lifestyle and mine just didn’t match. It was a fun adventure, but onto the next!

YOLO: A Valentines Day Adventure

I’ve been talking to Finance Guy for about a week on a new app called ‘Happn‘. For those of you who don’t know about it, it’s become an increasingly popular dating app where you get matched with people you cross paths with.

Finance Guy and I matched around mid town (probably while I was passing him to get downtown). I learned he worked around there, but also was from the same suburban city as myself and did the commute everyday.

On Friday, he asked if I wanted to grab drinks Sunday evening. I was pretty excited about it, and thought it was cool he chose Valentine’s Day to have our first date. He called and made a reservation at a romantic restaurant in our area for 8PM.

I arrived a few minutes before him and sat down at our reserved booth – feeling quite nervous (it amazes me how after so many first dates, I still can’t shake the nerves!) I was analyzing the drinks menu, and before I knew it he appeared in front of me. I got up and we hugged hello. First impressions: he was very cute – gorgeous blue eyes, sweet smile and my height (ideally hoped he was a bit taller but not a deal breaker).

I ordered a Bellini and he got a Mojito. We also ordered an appetizer to share. Conversation was pretty free-flowing: we shared quite a bit in common – from mutual friends, to both being animal lovers (specifically cats) to our shared love for pizza and electronic music. We shared travel stories and even found out we will be traveling to the same country this summer (we joked about meeting up when we were there). Now that would be pretty romantic…

After about an hour and a half – he got a text from his friend who invited him to go out with a group of other friends to a club downtown. He told me his friends really wanted him to join and asked if I wanted to come with. I was completely caught off guard – thinking, what on earth should I do? I just met this guy… although he doesn’t seem like a serial killer. He’s actually pretty awesome. What else would I be doing on a Sunday eve? Tomorrow is a holiday… 

YOLO – he said. You only live once. With that, I thought to myself, I need to do this. I need to continue stepping outside my comfort zone and trust my instincts. I told him I wasn’t wearing appropriate clubbing attire – so he drove me back to my place and I quickly changed – making sure not to wear heels as I would definitely tower over him. *sigh*

We drove over to his friends place – who lived not far from me. We were greeted warmly by all of them, who were slightly intoxicated by the time we arrived (which made for very entertaining conversation). He ordered two Ubers and away we all went on our downtown adventure. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this.

We arrived at the club, went in, and his friends scoped out the place. It was a pretty lame scene – so we all decided to go to a nearby pub instead. FG ordered us drinks and we took them to a table. I was already feeling a bit tipsy from the two drinks and was in the mood to dance, even though there was no one else on the dance floor. It’s like he read my mind, and asked if I wanted to dance – so I took his hand after finishing off my drink – and away we went. We had our own private dance party and he had some pretty smooth moves on the floor. I was a bit self conscious of all the people staring at us – but thankfully some other people took that as a cue to also start dancing. As the electronic beats picked up, our bodies were dancing closer together and our noses were right up against each other. Not long after, he went in for the kiss. Oh god – my second make out session in a bar / club – in a public setting… in the last two months! He was a pretty good kisser, and I was enjoying just being in the moment with him and dancing with his friends.

After about an hour and a half, his one friend said he had to head out and we decided we may as well join him. The others stayed behind, so we said goodbye and headed back out into the cold.

We arrived back at his friend, and he then drove me back to my place. It was around 2AM at this point.

“So this was fun. I’ve never had such a spontaneous first date before. Thanks for inviting me to come with tonight!” I said.

“Yeah it was a lot of fun, definitely a first for me too. Text me and we will do it again sometime.”

With that we leaned in and had our second make out session for the night. Not sure if it was the alcohol but he was a damn good kisser and I didn’t want it to end!

2:30AM I got inside and plopped right onto on my bed. I felt pretty proud of myself for going on this Valentine’s Day Adventure with someone I just met. I’ll text him soon and I’m sure there will be a follow up post to this one.

Hope everyone had an equally fun and entertaining Valentine’s Day!

Netflix & Chill: Round Two

I’ve been on cloud nine since Cody left my house on New Years Eve. All throughout last week we were texting back and forth – and I was waiting ever so patiently for him to ask me out again.

Friday evening arrived and I asked what he was doing over the weekend. Cody told me he was free Saturday evening and suggested I “come over and hang out”. I was a little disappointed as I was hoping he’d ask me out on a date… but decided to accept his invitation anyway.

I walked inside his home to the smell of wonderful spices and aromas. We headed towards the kitchen, and to my surprise, I was warmly greeted by his mother! While Cody was finishing off preparing a late lunch for himself, we chatted over our love for The Bachelor and how she somehow or another, years ago, spoke to my mom professionally! Talk about six degrees of separation…

Afterwards, Cody gave me a tour of the rest of his place. The tour ended in the basement – where there were two big couches and a TV. He put on Netflix and as soon as the movie started, we picked up where we left off from New Years Eve. ;) He was very sweet – feeding me pieces of chocolate and apple chips. As tempting as it was to run with my feelings and live completely in the moment, I still decided to hold back on being extremely intimate with him. Mainly because his parents were just one floor above us, but also because I’m still unsure as to how he perceives our relationship.

I could tell he was disappointed, but still respected to go as far as I wanted to.

By 7:30 – both our stomachs were growling. It turned out that his mom was making a delicious Spaghetti Bolognese and offered to dish some up for us. We happily accepted the offer, and went upstairs to help her prepare the meal. She lit some candles on the table and gave us some privacy while we finished preparing dinner — which was very adorable.

We said goodbye to one another at 2AM after having been together for a solid 9 hours!

When I got home, my parents said, “sooooo?” and all I could respond with was… “I’m not sure”.

Overall, we had a really enjoyable evening together. However, when I reflect on where we are both at in our lives, I feel as though we are on two different levels right now. He’s slowly building up his personal training business and very focused on it, with no secure career plan. In contrast, I have a well established full-time career, and am at a point where I’m ready to find someone to develop a relationship with.. and to potentially have a future with.

I tend to over analyze too much. Perhaps it would be best to just go with the flow and enjoy spending time with him – with the understanding that he may not want to be in an exclusive relationship right now. Let me know if you agree!

I Picked Up a Bumble Bee

…and I didn’t get stung.

I’ve been talking to Cody for about a month. We met off of a new dating app called Bumble, which asks the woman to send the first message within 24 hours of being matched. Not long after messaging over Bumble, we exchanged numbers and started texting back and forth.

It seemed like we shared quite a lot in common – and I wanted to meet the guy already! It had already been a few weeks and I was growing antsy…

I asked Cody if he was around for the holidays. Thankfully he picked up on my subtle hint to get together, and asked if I wanted to grab a coffee over the weekend. We made plans to meet this afternoon.

I walked into the coffee shop right on time and sure enough spotted him at one of the booths, writing away in a journal. I walked towards the booth.

“Cody?”

“Hey, nice to meet you!” He put his hand out to shake mine.

I saw he already had a coffee – so I put my coat down and went to grab myself a tea.

When I sat down, we jumped into conversation about how we were enjoying the holidays. Conversation flowed smoothly from one subject to the next, and the more I learned about him, the more attractive he seemed. Physically – he was a 10/10 in my books. 6’2, personal trainer / fitness coach, dark and handsome. Maturity wise, he seemed on the same level as me which is quite rare to find in a lot of people in their mid 20s.

3 hours later, he walked me to my car.

Cody: “So this was fun. We should do this again sometime soon”.

I happily agreed, and with that we hugged each other good bye and drove off.

UPDATE: We’ve been texting non-stop since we got home. In fact, I may even be seeing him on New Years!!

To be continued…

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Ryan and I lay in each others arms on my bed. Burning tears were streaming down my cheeks, as I burrowed my head into his chest. “It’s going to be okay, baby” he said, holding onto me tightly and kissing my forehead. I looked up into his eyes which were red and cloudy with tears.

Around 2AM I walked downstairs with him, gripping onto his shirt tightly until we got to the front door. He tilted my head up and wiped away my tears with his finger. “We will always be in each others lives… don’t forget that”. I nodded and we gave each other one last kiss before he walked out. I stood by the door sobbing, with an awful, heart-wrenching pain that I had never experienced before.


After 9 incredible months of dating Ryan from JSwipe, it was time to say farewell to one another. Ryan was accepted into a PhD program half way around the world, which will take about 4 years to complete.

We knew about 3 months in that he would be leaving to go. It wasn’t an easy time in our relationship. At that point we were developing strong feelings for one another, and I hated the though of him leaving me. It was a difficult decision, but Ryan knew he couldn’t turn it down. It was one of the most prestigious and competitive programs in his field of study.

I could have ended the relationship at that point to avoid the heartbreak and sadness later on. However, I knew I had to let my fears go – not willing to give up the special bond we had.

We carried forward and went on a countless number of dates. Between our lazy nights at home watching American Horror Story, going to The Zoo, spending the night at a fancy hotel for his birthday and slow dancing together at his sisters wedding – we made so many wonderful memories together.

Before we knew it, October arrived and it was inevitable to talk about the future of our relationship. It was a very tough and emotional discussion to have, but ultimately it was decided that we weren’t going to try and do long-distance. As much as we cared for one another deeply, it would be very tough to be apart from one another for so long. As well, I needed the opportunity to explore other relationships – as this is all very new to me… in order to compare and decide what exactly I want in a life time partner.

I can finally say to the whole blogosphere that I did find love, and it has been an absolutely incredible journey to get to this point (even though it meant I had to experience heart break). A part of me will always love Ryan – we plan on staying in each others lives forever. We’ve been talking frequently since he landed – and I look forward to video chatting with him in a day or two once he is all settled in.

Who knows – maybe he will end up being the one I’m meant to be with forever. For now, my journey continues, and I hope you will stay along for the ride.