Tale of the Princess Maffle

Last Wednesday I received a text message from my younger cousin who is one of my loyal blog followers. She wrote saying:

“I want to set you up with this guy I work with!”

Of course I was curious so I asked her more about who he was. Eli worked at the same theatre as her. She told me he was turning 25, had two degrees, was very down to earth / funny, and most importantly: single.

Naturally this got me pretty intrigued. I asked if she felt he was my type. She replied:

“I could totally see you guys together.”

I told her to pass along my Facebook name so he could add me. About an hour and a half later, I received a new friend request alert from him. I logged onto his page from my phone and started flipping through his pictures. He was cute! Tall, lanky and had a very young-boy(ish) look, which is the type I generally go for.

Over the next 24 hours, we exchanged about 8 lengthy messages through Facebook chat. From there we exchanged cell numbers. This past Saturday we decided to talk on the phone and the conversation lasted about an hour and a half long! I was pleasantly surprised.

We arranged to meet a few days later at a coffee/dessert spot that neither of us had been to before (which Eli had heard great things about). It was called ‘Cafe Princess’. The name sold me instantly.

I arrived a few minutes after 8pm, and saw Eli already sitting at one of the ornate tables in the corner by a large window. He got up, smiled, and came over to me. We hugged hello. We walked back over to the table and I immediately expressed how cute and comfy the place was. There were large and luxurious couches, star decorations above each of the tables, and the menus had a very cute, whimsical feel. As Eli and I were reading through the menu, some of the hand-written items were so illegible that we couldn’t help but laugh and make fun of them. We decided to share the ‘Princess Waffle’. Although, the W in their hand writing appeared upside down so we kept referring to it as the ‘Princess Maffle’. We then proceeded to stare out the window and joke sarcastically about how beautiful the scenery was (pointing out the gas station and roads).

About 15 minutes later, our ‘Princess Maffle’ arrived at our table and we were presented with a white waffle… YES, white – which came with two scoops of ice cream, strawberries and kiwi. Confused, I looked back at the menu and completely didn’t process that in brackets next to this menu item it read ‘made out out of rice cakes’. Uh oh…

Eli could tell by my reaction that something was up. He asked if I was okay with it. I said… “of course. There’s a first for everything, right?” I took the first bite and I’m pretty sure the expression on my face was priceless. It was the chewiest waffle I had ever tasted. It tasted nothing like a waffle… maybe it truly was a maffle! It was bland, and I could feel it slowly getting stuck in my braces. At least it was white so the pieces wouldn’t show, but I knew I couldn’t take another bite. He was very sweet about it and finished off the maffle. I helped myself to the ice cream and fruit.

Overall the date went well! Did I feel instant butterflies? No… but maybe that feeling will grow if I continue getting to know him.

The next day, Eli wrote to me saying he had a nice time and asked if I’d be interested to go out again soon. We’ve tentatively scheduled to go out next Monday. He seems like a really genuine guy that’s looking for a relationship, or should I say princess? Of course, I want my prince charming too. So why am I not over the moon excited to see him again? I guess I’m not used to the guy being so eager to pursue me… I’m used to the chase, and part of me secretly loves it. I know I need to grow up and get over it.

What’s your take on ‘the chase’? Would you encourage me to go on a second date with Eli?


The Summer Untouchables

Every year my family goes to a resort which takes no more than an hour and a half to get there by car. We go for a number of reasons. 1) It’s a great family bonding experience. 2) Buffet for breakfast, lunch and dinner is heaven. 3) The entire sports staff are approximately my age and they each look like they could be abercrombie models.

Well bullet 3 should have been bullet 1 as my cousin and I couldn’t get over how good looking they were and for the majority of our trip stayed in the extreme sports area to talk/flirt with them with our little fantasy clouds hovering over us grinning ear to ear.

Half way through the trip we dubbed them the untouchables. Why? We figured with a combination of incredibly good looks and their natural flirtatiousness, what was stopping them from having that effect on all the girls who drooled over them throughout the entire summer? A lot of these guys work there to be outdoors everyday, party and hookup. Now I don’t want to make that assumption for each of them but living somewhat further away from the resort, I knew nothing serious would happen with any of them. When I asked my younger cousin what she though I got a reply “I’d hookup with one of them”. Why? “They are so hot!” I pondered whether they appeared “hot” simply because they were or if it was because we were contained in this magical resort where everything appeared delicious, scrumptious and almost too good to be true.

I feel whenever I go to a resort I’m away in a fantasy world that thrills me for 5 days and then I go back to reality when home. Since it was my cousins first dose of it she still can’t fathom the fact that the sports staff won’t be in her eyes view until next summer. I explained to her it’s definitely a clever marketing tactic on the resort’s part to keep guests returning!

16 vs. 21

So my cousin and I hung out this afternoon and she was explaining to me about her love life and two guys in particular that she is currently smitten over.

I’ll start off by saying she’s 16.

If it were a game show, here’s how it would be presented…

Contender #1 is a year younger, goes to the same school, is tall and handsome and is book smart. Sounds like a perfect catch no?

Contender #2 is about 5 years older. He’s also tall and handsome, in University and has this charm that she’s attracted to. She met him at a party awhile back.

So after doing a thorough text message and facebook picture investigation – I explained to her I thought contender #1 was the better option. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the fact that contender #2 is 5 years older as I clearly state in ‘The Dating Age Gap’ how a number can’t define a connection between two people. However, I explained that 16 vs. 21 and 20 vs. 25 are two very different match games. With 16 vs. 21 the 16 year old being my cousin is attracted to the idea of physically being with someone who is older and has more experience. Also the fact that he is gorgeous makes the attraction that much stronger. Not to say all 21 year olds are like this, but I’m going to presume the majority who flirt with girls in their early stages of high school aren’t looking for ‘true love’ or a committed relationship. They are experienced and know how to charm a girl and almost act like persuasive snakes to get certain things that younger girls are sometimes vulnerable enough to give into. 20 vs. 25 can be read more indepth about in ‘The Dating Age Gap’ post.

Contender #1 – despite her hesitation regarding the fact he’s a year younger, I think is still someone she shouldn’t lose sight of. The fact that she knows a lot about him and they go to the same school and live close by means that she’s within her comfort zone. Also, the fact that he is in the more premature stages of a proper relationship makes him a stronger contendor for something long term and meaningful. I understand that at 16 she can’t help but worry how her friends may perceive her dating a guy 1 year younger – but I say go for it.

Usually I wouldn’t recommend dating younger as in my personal experience they are all incredibly immature and are ‘Justin Bieber’ clones. The way she described him though and how smitten she was just goes to show how much of a good thing she thinks he is. So I say make the first move and go out for dinner or to the movies. Get to know him more 1 on 1. Don’t focus too much on what your friends will think. We all need to trust our own hearts and if we always based our decisions on what our friends thought we’d never achieve a full level of happiness.

The dating age gap

Hey blogasphere. I know it’s been awhile since my last post. Mainly because I’ve been really focused on school work, in other words, no contact with the male population except for the usual guys in class (no noteworthy stories there). Now that I’ve had some time to settle in I’ll share stories as I get em, starting with the current hot topic – the dating age gap.

So my friend encouraged me to check out the online dating scene which I’ve been somewhat skeptical about – especially just after seeing a movie called ‘Trust.’ Not sure if any of you have heard of it. Pretty much a 14 year old girl who talks to this guy over the Internet who she thinks is her age and turns out to be some 40 year old. Creepy and unsettling!

HOWEVER, I’ve actually heard a lot of positives about online dating experiences. A few of my friends actually had/ have long term relationships with guys/girls they met online and I thought well.. as long as I’m cautious, I guess there is no harm.

So I stumble across this guys profile – and he seems pretty perfect. Same religious background, tall (I’m talking basketball player height), same family values, also loves cats, loves kids, is ambitious, the list goes on. The only thing is I see he’s 25, but really I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. When I think about guys my age (20) compared to guys 5 years older like my cousin (who is like a brother to me). I feel that I connect much more with my cousin’s male peer group than my own. I think maturity is a big thing, and the truth of the matter is a lot of 20 years old’s are still figuring out what they want to do, and partying it up, soaking up their early 20s. Now.. at least my perspective is that 25 year olds have a pretty good idea of where they are going in life, or at least have found some area of interest. They are for the most part independent and aren’t so much talking ‘let’s go get drunk,’ but more so ‘I still like to party, but I’m more focused on my career now/ finding the right girl.’ This isn’t to say I don’t date guys my age or even a year or two older, but I don’t always feel that we are in sync with values and direction.

Anyway – so I send him a message and he responds with a really sweet one, and since then we’ve written back and forth on the site a few times, which turned into texting, and hopefully soon to be phone conversations. I mean it’s kind of ridiculous that the virtual writing back and forth goes on for such a long period of time, but you need to at least develop an understanding of the person’s character and their values before physically meeting up with them.

So I posed a question to my cousin and her friend last night during a family dinner. I asked if they thought a 5 year age gap was too large. They both agreed that it’s perfectly fine. It’s about the connection you have and their maturity level – at least for some people. They said the only area of concern is EXPERIENCE. It’s very true and more than likely if you date someone 5 years older they will have quite a bit more experience than you do – but it’s obvious to note that honesty is the best policy in regards to my personal experience. If I end up meeting up with this guy and really falling for him, I’d be honest about my experience (or inexperience). If he seriously is mature and the amazing guy that he sounds like, I don’t think that will be an issue.

I stumbled across a site called www.experienceproject.com. There is a whole section on stories of young adults/women dating older men. It’s interesting how a lot say they date men twice their age not just related to their maturity level, ‘been there done that,’ and experience but it’s ultimately the connection you have with that person.

Personally I’d feel iffy it was anymore than a 5 year age gap but from the conversations we’ve had I think I’m developing a pretty strong connection and I see no harm in meeting up for coffee and taking it from there!

To tame or not to tame a Gr. 3 crush

So last night I go to my aunt’s house for dinner. After we eat, I’m hanging out with my cousin and her friend. The three of us were talking about what exactly we look for in a guy which led to each of us scrolling through our BBM (Blackberry) lists to see if we could find a new perfect match.

I stumble across this guy who for purposes of confidentiality we will call David. I added David the last time I was with my cousin as a joke. She had said to me she was talking to this guy in University who was gorgeous and smart. I looked at his picture and thought he was for sure, but she also told me he was a big partier and just liked to fool around with girls. So I added him to BBM jokingly and we just had a casual conversation. I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere but I was curious. As soon as David asked me to go on Skype (my cousin warned me not too) I backed off and we stopped talking.

Anyway – that was over a few months ago. I stumble across his name again on my list last night. My cousin says ‘Oh, you still talk to..’ and mentions David’s last name. When I heard his last name I said ‘WHAT! That can’t be…’. I had a crush in Gr.3 on a guy with exactly the same name. So I go ahead and write to him and ask if he went to my old elementary school. He says.. yes! I couldn’t believe it..

Anyways we we begin talking more last night. I decide to keep more of an open mind about him. He’s actually really nice and I’m interested… kinda. I still don’t know very much about him. The crazy part is that he totally remembered me.. vaguely but still! I said do you remember (I said my first and last name) and he said yeah. That girl with glasses? Who performed a monologue in the school talent show? I was shocked and excited that he remembered. I said to David that I remembered going to his birthday parties back in Gr. 3.

I was the one to end the conversation last night. I added him on Facebook. Now it’s his turn to make a move.

So the question is.. to tame or not to tame? I only hear from my cousin he is a bad boy. He didn’t even know me the first time we talked and wanted to go on Skype right away. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, right? It’s just a way to get to know someone more, as long as he doesn’t try to do anything else.

If he writes again I’m open to talking more and seeing where it goes. What do you guys think?