LinkedIn to Love

Working in the design industry, my profession is all about networking and connecting with others. LinkedIn is a social networking website which has really helped push my career forward… but never did I think it may also be a place where I would find a potential love interest. Although – if you think about it… what girl wouldn’t go a bit gaga over a profile picture of a guy in a sexy business suit? Or browsing a profile of a guy who appears quite career driven?

Back in October I logged onto LinkedIn and was browsing through the ‘People You May Know’ section. I came across a handsome guy who looked around my age. I didn’t know him but I decided to peak at his profile anyway, and discovered he lived in the same city as me and worked in the financial industry. I went ahead and added him as a LinkedIn friend and he accepted my invitation a few hours later!

I figured I had nothing to lose by sending Zach a private message.

“Hey. Thanks for connecting! If you / your company ever needs any design or branding materials developed, let me know. On a side note, you look pretty familiar.. not sure where from though. I’m sure we’ve crossed paths at some point!”

The last line was a lie – although I didn’t think it hurt to add that in since we both lived in a city where a lot of people knew one another.

The next day I got a reply!

“Thanks for letting me know. I actually have a live streaming / gaming TV account that I started and was interested in getting a custom design created for it sometime in the near future. Would your rates be fairly reasonable for a small project like that? Also yeah, your last name seems familiar. Thanks for connecting!”

Even though the design project was completely unrelated to his professional career – that didn’t matter. The fact that he had a project for me meant we would get to talk more. I also found it incredibly attractive that he is a gamer. Growing up – I used to be a huge video game nerd. I’d pretty much crush all of you at any N64 game!

I responded the following day telling him I was somewhat familiar with what he was telling me about and that maybe we should meet up over coffee and discuss the project further. No response. Was a bit disappointed, but I moved on from it and focused on work and my other online prospects.

January 8th – I received a new message alert from Zach in my LinkedIn inbox.

“Hope you had a good holiday! I was wondering if you were familiar with vector imaging. I’m looking for someone that’s able to make a cartoon version of me for a website. (I know… sounds strange) Let me know whenever you get a chance, may have something for you. Thanks!”

I wrote back and told him I’d be up for the challenge. I gave him my email address and from there he sent me a more detailed outline of the intricate character he wanted. I had never designed anything like this before and knew it would be a bit of a learning curve for me – but I was willing to take on the challenge… especially for him!

Today we spoke on the phone for about half an hour and right off the bat I was pretty smitten due to his confident, sexy voice. Soon into the conversation he asked me if I had Facebook – as he said it would be easier to ‘send over links’ through Facebook chat. I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret that one – was he wanting to check me out more? I didn’t know what other reference links he could really send me other than what was sent via email. Not that I was complaining – as I was certainly interesting in learning more about him.

Every now and then we veered slightly off topic but we primarily kept the conversation on a professional level. As the conversation came to an end, he told me to check out his live streams during the week and I said I’d keep him updated with my progress on the design as well.

I can’t tell if he’s single as his Facebook page doesn’t mention his relationship status. Although from looking at his recent pictures – there doesn’t appear to be any other girl.

How do you think I can take this to the next level after the business part of this relationship is over?

Defining the Male ‘Friend Code’

Two days ago I came across a guy’s profile that caught my interest on PlentyofFish. Rob’s profile says he is an aspiring author, and is looking for a girl with good intentions, with a positive outlook on life and doesn’t like to play games.

Me: “Hey! What do you write about?”

Rob: “Love and revenge. Or at least that’s what my novels about. What’s your name?”

Me: “My name is ‘insert here‘. I have a few writers in my family as well. So tell me a bit more about yourself.”

Meanwhile, I have still been communicating with Matt, who you may remember from my post back in June called ‘12AM by the Fireplace. Meow.‘ The guy who was looking to have a good time, but wasn’t interested in having an exclusive relationship. Since we hung out that night, he never bothered to ask me out again. It was difficult for me as I had been on several dates following him (which you are all up to speed with). However, none that I had the same physical chemistry with. I hated the fact that I still missed him.

Three months had gone by, and then I received a message from him wishing me a happy birthday. I acknowledged it, asked how he had been doing, which slowly led to us talking again. Not frequently, but every now and then through WhatsApp or ‘SnapChat’. It was all friendly, although as the weeks went by some messages got to be a bit more flirtatious. He had started making hints to see me again, although I was still under the impression he was only ‘interested’ in having fun. I am entitled to have fun… it’s just a matter of making sure my feelings wouldn’t get shattered if I got too far with him and then he moved along to the next girl.

Anyway, the two stories do collide – and you are about to find out how.

Matt sent me a ‘SnapChat’ two nights ago (the night I had started messaging Rob). I sent him one back the same night, and he opened it, but never responded. I didn’t think anything of it but I wrote to him the next day with a cute, playful message.

Me: *devil grinning face* Way to not respond to my SnapChat.

Matt: “Lol. Well I wasn’t exactly motivated to. You hit on my friend on POF playa.”

Me: Who?

Matt: “For me to know and you to be paranoid about. Small world.”

Me: “I’ve only been talking to one other guy so I’m pretty sure I know who it is… That’s pretty awkward”

Matt: “Yep. Really awkward for me.”

I didn’t respond to Matt. I presumed Rob must of told Matt he was also checking out the online dating scene and as soon as he got my name and told Matt, he immediately knew who I was. It’s not like I owed Matt anything.. but it was still awkward. Especially if they were close.

I went back on POF and wrote to Rob.

Me: “I heard we have a mutual friend in common…”

Rob: “Yeah apparently. Is that weird for you?”

Me: “Well, what did Matt say about him and I? How close are the two of you?”

Rob: “We’re close but he said you guys just didn’t work out. He was just like.. go for it if you like. Lol. Guys aren’t like girls with all that friend code shit, unless they actually had a relationship with the girl.”

I was obviously disappointed. It wasn’t shocking to hear Matt’s comment about the two of us, but deep down it did sting as he had still been leading me to believe he was interested over the past few weeks.

So now I have no clue what to do. There are plenty of other fish in the sea… so maybe it’s better to move away from both of them. Even if I did continue talking to Rob, how could I guarantee he wouldn’t tell Matt everything? I have no clue how much guys open up to each other about girls – especially ones that they have both dated. How far does the male ‘friend code’ go? How do I even know this whole thing wasn’t planned out by Matt – and maybe this is some sort of game now. If they are close… maybe Rob is just like Matt. Although Rob said he doesn’t want a girl that plays games… so doesn’t that mean he’s looking for something more? Okay, phew, my question rant is over!

My head is about to explode and I’m off to a job interview. Hopefully the fresh air will do me good. I’m sure that a combination of that plus any suggestions from my amazing followers will give me the insight I need to move forward with this situation.

What else can it mean?

Let me give you a quick recap as to why I felt my last two dates went so well.

The first guy, Joey (the Italian), had suggested for us to go out to see a movie after we had dinner (which was certainly a sign that he liked me enough to want to spend more time together). He texted me right after our date, asking if I got home safely. I felt our date couldn’t have gone any better. The next day he asked me what my name on Facebook was. The way we kept messaging each other back and forth made it seem that he was still truly interested in going out with me again.

Meanwhile, I felt as if my latest date with David had also gone so well. The fact that we spent over two hours together and with all that we had in common – I had a strong feeling I’d see him again. I had texted David shortly after our date saying I had a great evening. He responded about ten minutes later saying, ‘Glad to hear it :)’

Conclusion with Joey

Three weeks had gone by since Joey and I met and he still hadn’t suggested going on a second date. He seemed to be growing more distant. Confused – I sent him another message two nights ago on Facebook asking if he was still interested in seeing me again. He looked at the message. No response.

The next day I wrote again.

Me: “From your not responding I’ll presume not. I am genuinely curious though what happened between you asking to add me on Facebook to now?”

Joey: “Oh sorry… I forgot to answer. I would be interested in meeting up again. But in the interest of being completely honest, I’m kind of dating someone now (although I’m not sure if it’s going anywhere…) As long as you’re aware of that then yes, I would be interested in hanging out.”

Me: “Thanks for being honest with me. To be honest back, I’m not interested in seeing someone who is already dating someone else but would be up to see you again if things don’t work out. Keep me posted.”

Joey: “It very well might not work out haha… I will let you know. Thanks for understanding. In the meantime, hope you’re doing well. :)”.

Conclusion with David

I also texted David two nights ago with a simple, ‘Hey, what’s up?’ I was hoping that would strike up a conversation again which would lead in to me asking what he was up to this weekend. No response.

To this day, I still haven’t heard back. Since I texted him, I’ve seen him back online on the dating website. It’s very disappointing. Maybe I’ll message him in a few days from now, like I did with Joey, to see what his deal is. Maybe there is another girl in the picture as well.

My advise to you

After a great first date, it’s normal to feel disappointed and upset if you don’t hear from them again. I think the most important thing to remember is that you should never presume it has to do with you.

It’s important to recognize that guys and girls who use online dating sites date a large number of people before picking the one they want to solely pursue – or perhaps they have already been dating someone else and want to know what’s going on it the field before shutting down their profile.

In other news: I finally joined Twitter! For those of you who have an account, please follow me @suburbgirl4love

Also, my next date is with someone who I met offline – so stay tuned for how that works out for me!

Twenty Two Geese Later.

About a week ago, I stumbled across a guy’s profile on POF. He lived about an hour away which wasn’t too bad, had an extremely boy-ish quality about him in his pictures, and sounded down to earth from his description. The only red flag was that he was really into outdoorsy activities and so I wasn’t sure how compatible we’d be. Don’t get me wrong I like being outdoors… but preferably at a beach with a strawberry daiquiri in hand.

We ended up corresponding back and forth a few times on the site and he seemed genuinely interested in finding a girl to be with long term which was refreshing compared to a lot of guys I’ve recently gotten to know. He did make it clear how he lives and breathes being outdoors. So the probability of us ending up together was still on the fence, but I was still interested to see where our conversation would go.

We ended up moving our conversation to Facebook (Limited Profile settings in place). I know some of you may think it’s crazy of me to add someone I barely know on Facebook. However, I feel as though it’s a great way to see how they talk to their friends and the type of language they use. Of course ideally you wouldn’t come across anything shocking, and if anything, what you’d see would get you more excited to get to know the other person better.

I hate the term ‘stalking’ but I casually perused his profile pictures and came across some pictures of him in a camouflage suit holding a gun. This immediately raised another reg flag so I asked him what that was about. He told me he hunts… frequently. I was a bit caught off guard. Out of all my online experiences to date, I hadn’t yet communicated with a guy who hunted.

This past Sunday he sent me a text message asking me how I was doing. I mentioned I had developed a bad cold and he responded:

Awww! Just tired. Hunted hard all weekend.

Me: Oh. What did you hunt?

22 geese! (Attaches pictures of him and his friend kneeling behind a row of 22 dead geese… which I’m not going to post to avoid traumatizing any of my readers).

Me: What did you do with them afterwards? :(

Eat em. Why.

Me: Just wondering.

Oh ya. What did you do this weekend?

I never responded as I was unsure what to do with this guy. So many questions were running through my mind. I didn’t want to judge him for hunting, but it definitely wasn’t something I was used to hearing about. Twenty two geese?! Isn’t that a lot? I felt bad for the geese. Do people eat geese? I couldn’t take all the geese questions running through my head and wanted all of it to just fly away.

Wednesday he writes again:

Hey.

This morning he writes again:

Hey.

I had thought hard about what to do and concluded it was better I didn’t continue talking to him. I felt like the two of us had very different interests and it would never work out in the end. However, I didn’t want to come across rude. I responded with:

Hey. To be honest you seem like a really nice guy but I think our interests are pretty different so I just don’t think it would work out in the end. :(

He responds:

Ahaha so we can’t be friends? Aha.

Just as I’m about to respond, he writes again:

Never mind. You know what. Fuck it. You shouldn’t have a chance to enjoy me. Ahaha. See ya.

Seconds later I saw he beat me to the punch deleting me off Facebook.

I’d love to hear each of your takes on this story.

The Texting Game

I’m sure all of you have been through it before. You go on an incredible date and once you get home you think about how you’re already falling for that person. Then you continuously glance at your cellular device every 5 seconds with those puppy dog, glazed over eyes. Doing this with high hopes that he/she will write to you saying how much they enjoyed the night as well.

Tuesday night I came home from my date feeling extremely giddy and slightly infatuated. I had mentioned for him to message me saying he got home safe as it was a very foggy night. However, I didn’t hear from him and by 1 a.m. I thought it’d be best to turn my phone off to try and get some sleep.

However, my mind kept repeating all of the nights events over and over while lying in my bed. Somehow or another I got to sleep but I woke up to my room still incredibly dark and not a sound in my crazy, loud household. I felt wide awake and looked over at my alarm clock which read: 4:10 a.m. Shit. I knew it was going to be a long night. I kept rolling back and forth from side to side and couldn’t sleep. I tried listening to music but that didn’t help. At some point I must have fallen asleep again as the second time I woke up it was daylight and the sounds of my cranky sister screaming for breakfast and my 3 cat’s meowing for food told me it was time to get ready to head to class. I checked my phone and still no message. Slightly disappointed I took off my makeup from the night before (didn’t want to go to school with raccoon eyes), had a bowl of cereal and hopped on the bus.

As the day went on the lack of sleep was getting to me. It was hard to focus on anything my professor was lecturing about as I kept wondering if he had written. After class I checked my phone only to get a message from my friend who had written ‘did he message you yet’. No… he did not. I was beginning to freak out. Maybe he didn’t mean anything he said the night before. Did he think I was a horrible kisser? If he did… screw him! If  that was the case though, why would he have said to me after we shared that moment it had been one of the best nights he had in awhile? On the other hand he could have just been really busy that day… so as much as I wanted to message him I waited.

Sure enough I got a text that evening from him saying ‘Hey! How was youuuuur day?’ My puppy dog eyes reappeared and I wanted to immediately respond but then I thought to myself… when does the ‘game’ end? Do I have to wait and respond in an hour to keep him wanting more? Do guys even think about it or do they just respond whenever they get a chance to? Sometimes I freak out at myself for over analyzing all the small details but I can’t help myself. So about 20 minutes later I messaged him saying I had a class in the morning. I also said I had a great time with him. I didn’t really ask him any questions but when I pressed the enter button I was hopeful he’d write back saying he had a great time too.

No response.

So I wonder if I should text him again later today with a question this time or maybe just ask if he wants to talk on the phone? I find it so awkward asking a guy if he wants to talk… maybe I should just call him tonight.

Guys… your thoughts? Am I over analyzing the situation? Girls – what would you do?

Is the Subway (TTC) the New Matchmaking Service?

I was on the subway this morning en route to my summer class and observed across from me there was a woman who appeared in her late 20s, petite and dressed casually, who sat with her hands clutching onto the purse in her lap. She herself was in the midst of observing her environment cautiously. A few stops later on the subway line, a man who appeared also in his late 20s/ early 30s walked on and looked around to find a place to sit. He appeared tall, built and also dressed casually. He eyed the spot next to her but prior to sitting he noticed her, and both of their eyes met each other. He gave her a crooked smile and I didn’t notice whether she smiled back, but he then went to sit next to her.

For the next few subway stops they would casually catch a glance at the other. I tried not to stare, but I couldn’t help myself. It appeared like a perfect love story and I wanted to see how it would play out. You could tell the woman was trying to concoct a plan in her head to talk to him, but all she could think of was the continuous pattern of glances. I was hopeful their glances would lead to something more. After those few subway stops had passed, the man stood up and moved his bag over to where the doors open to let passengers out. So now he stood on the other side of her. As the subway continued to move, he bent down to purposely take longer than usual to fumble through the papers in his bag, as his body was purposely positioned to view her side, and he continued looking up every few seconds. I could tell she was trying to catch his glance in the corner of her eye several times. She took out her mirror and played with her hair a bit which caught his attention, but by the time she looked over, he was standing up again looking over a paper he ultimately pulled out of his bag.

You could tell she appeared disappointed and lost at what to do. Two stops later, the man picked up his bag and exited the subway. She of course noticed and the disappointment that crossed her face was much more evident and I couldn’t help but feel bad for her.

On my way home, there was an incredibly cute guy who was reading a novel and was wearing a business suit — which as you may have read in a previous blog post, I give out bonus points to intellects. I felt in the same predicament as her. “He’s so bloody cute, but how do I start up a conversation?” Better yet… “is it appropriate to try and pursue someone on the subway of all places?”

What are your thoughts? Should either the man or woman on the subway have been bold and given each other their phone numbers? Is the subway an inappropriate place to pick up someone? Or is it just the opposite… do you think it could actually be the perfect place to introduce yourself if you get some sort of vibe or positive feeling?

Okay to Mix Work and Pleasure?

Yesterday I had a scheduled meeting with a senior designer at a fairly large advertising agency in Toronto. I had met him about a month ago as part of a design conference and was completely in awe when I first laid eyes on him (as I’m sure a million of the other girls in the room were). I was expecting to meet professionals who were in their mid to late 30s or 40s. Instead, I walk into one of the rooms and there I am standing face to face with a guy who looks to be my age in very casual attire. Gorgeous blue eyes and shaggy brown hair, with a bit of a stubble. Very tall — at least 6 feet, and he was wearing a sports cap. While he was explaining what his agency was all about and some of the work they did, I was blown away, yet at the same time incredibly distracted listening to the words coming out of his mouth. I kept saying to myself… “stop being so unprofessional and FOCUS,” but I just couldn’t get over the fact that he was the senior designer there. Prior to showing us some of the work the ad agency had done, he talked about his past work experiences and I was amazed at some of the big agencies he had worked at prior to his current position.

I thought to myself… he must be incredibly talented having gotten to the level he is currently at, also seemingly no older than 25 or 26. He also appeared almost TOO attractive. One of those guys who I’d most likely be too shy to approach in a bar. Then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. In my eyes, he certainly got my attention. Another thought running through my head… “is he gay?” Well you never really know. I decided to keep my fantasy alive of me and him being a power couple in the design industry.

A few days following the conference I wrote to him asking if they were looking for a summer design intern or Junior Graphic Designer. Unfortunately after a few correspondences I found out they had already hired one for the summer. Despite this, he had offered to meet me one-on-one to discuss my portfolio and give me pointers. Of course I jumped at the opportunity and agreed to meet him.

For those of you who haven’t read the novel called ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’ I’d say go buy it this instant. It’s part of a trilogy and once you start you really can’t put it down. I’ve listed it under my Goodreads widget in the sidebar.

Quoted from the ever so trusted Wikipedia…

Fifty Shades of Grey is a New York Times bestselling erotic fiction paperback and e-book by E.L. James. Set largely in Seattle, the trilogy traces the deepening relationship between college graduate Ana Steele and a young business magnate, Christian Grey.

Until you read it this association won’t make sense. However, I truly felt like the main character Anastasia Steele prior to meeting this guy similar to the other main character in the novel — Christian Grey. Similarly, I became in awe of someone close in age, who I found incredibly attractive and appeared in my eyes so powerful, smart and sophisticated.

Yesterday was the day. I arrived fifteen minutes early and was greeted 5 minutes later by him. He gave me a gorgeous grin and we said hello to each other. He guided me to a boardroom in the back and again, I was in awe, but tried my best to maintain a mature and professional level of composure. We chatted casually at first about where I went to school, which then led to me taking out my portfolio and I began talking through each of my pieces.

He patiently listened and seemed interested as I was talking. Following this, he gave me his feedback about each of my pieces. One at a time, in great detail. His ideas were brilliant and I was absorbing every word he had to say. I ultimately convinced myself, “he can’t be gay… at least in my mind he wasn’t”. An hour and a half later (which went by too fast) we said goodbye. I told him I would keep in touch and hopefully he would keep me in mind for any new opportunities at the agency.

So to answer my blog title question… is it okay to mix work and pleasure? Well for me it wasn’t so much work as it was gaining real world experience in my profession. Still, I believe it’s okay to mix in a bit of pleasure as long as it’s appropriate and doesn’t distract you from your daily tasks and objectives. I think everyone is entitled to a bit of fantasy… no matter which environment you are in. Thoughts?