It’s Official

Well – here’s the post you’ve all secretly been waiting for. Ryan and I are officially in a relationship now! It hasn’t been blurted out to the world (i.e. over Facebook)… but we’ve made it very clear to one another that we aren’t interested in seeing anyone else. Who thought this day would come?

Even though we’ve only been dating for a month a half – I’ve already developed pretty strong feelings towards him (and I’m almost 100% positive he feels the same way about me).

Last Wednesday he picked me up from the subway after work. We grabbed a slice of pizza for dinner and then went over to his place. We walked inside and I immediately got introduced to his mother. She seemed very sweet and friendly. It was a brief ‘hello, nice to meet you’ – as she was on her way out to grab dinner with friends. When she left we went to his room to ‘watch a movie’ ;). I kept asking him what time she was going to come home – as the last thing I wanted was for her to walk in on us and think I was a complete slut. Sure enough my worst fear came true, as we heard the front door open much sooner than he expected. I scrambled to throw my clothes back on. My face was all red and blotchy from kissing, and my hair completely disheveled. Oh no…

Thankfully, we got back to a presentable state fairly quickly. His plan was for us to head to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. We saw her sitting on the couch and she smiled at the two of us as we walked in. I smiled back, but felt very awkward. Although why should I? I’m his girlfriend after all… After grabbing water, I walked out to talk to her a bit more. We didn’t talk for too long – as Ryan was motioning for me to come back to his room. Anyway, I believe I made a decent first impression, as when I left she said it was really nice meeting me, and hoped to see me again soon.

Fast forward to yesterday evening. My parents had been anxious to meet Ryan for quite some time, so I figured that now was a good time since I had recently met his mother. He came over around 5 (my parents were heading to a show at 6 – so they would only have at the very most an hour to grill him with questions). I was a bundle of nerves waiting for him to arrive. Mostly nervous that my parents would completely embarrass me. They did promise to be on their best behaviour.

It really went so much better than expected. Ryan hit it off with my dad. They were talking to one another about products they were developing, and bonded over music and travel stories. My mom pulled me aside and told me she thought he was stunning, smart, and I certainly picked a good one. Aw, shucks!

When they left, he told me he thought my family was great. I grinned from ear to ear, happy that they bonded so well. I’m still waiting for someone to pinch me, to wake up from this dream…

So where does this leave my blog? To be fair to Ryan, and knowing he might one day read this, I feel it’s best for me not to dive into anything more personal between the two of us as our relationship grows. I’ll just leave that up to your imagination. ;) So because of this, I will be taking a break from writing – but I will definitely let you know when suburban girl is totally in love.

For now I just want to send out a big thank you to everyone who has been following along my journey to find love – especially to those who’ve been supporting me since the beginning. To know I’ve inspired some of you, is more than I could have asked for.

Also – I have faith that my favourite Unfortunate Virgin Male (who all my readers should follow) – will also end up with a success story!

The next time I write, you will know that I’m either in love, engaged, or getting married. Or that I’m desperately heart broken.

Mazel Tov – It’s a Match!

Even though I promised myself as a New Years Resolution to pull back from online dating  – I was enticed to download a new dating app similar to Tinder, but for Jewish Singles. Religion has never been a big factor for me with guys I’ve dated in the past – but I personally feel there are sometimes more things to share in common / talk about with someone from the same religious background.

About a month ago I got matched with Ryan – a cute Jewish single who lived in the same neighborhood as myself. I learned he studied engineering in California and had recently moved back to the city. His pictures were stunning – brown hair, blueish-green eyes AND dimples. I prayed he wasn’t catfishing me. Ryan asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee – so I picked a local spot and we met just over a week ago.

I had a huge sigh of relief when I first spotted him – he was just as cute as in his pictures. Also – quite tall (which is always a bonus, since I’m taller than average height for a girl). We met around 8PM and he ordered us both a drink. Conversation went very smoothly – I could tell he was a very go-with-the-flow, laid back guy and we seemed to be on the same page about a lot of things. I liked that we shared similar family values (both coming from large families), and he was also a big traveler – like myself. The coffee shop was closing at 11PM so we got kicked out – although both of us would have easily stayed for at least another hour. Which is surprising for me… since I usually hate coffee dates (find it very uncomfortable sitting face to face talking – without doing anything). With him I could be myself – which is so important to feel.

Ryan walked me to my car, and we hugged each other goodnight. The next day he texted me saying he had a fun night, and would love to do it again sometime! I grinned from ear to ear – but didn’t get too excited, as my last Tinder date ended the same way – only for the guy to never follow up for the second date…

Thankfully Ryan was different and planned for us to go see a movie and grab dessert last night. He picked me up for 7:30PM, and drove us to a nearby theatre. He was a great driver – which put me at ease. We went to see a psycho thriller movie called ‘The Boy Next Door’ starring Jennifer Lopez… which to tell you the truth, is not really worth paying the money for. However, there were still moments that made me jump, so I squeezed his arm a few times… which were pretty built ;). We inched closer and closer together, and I dangled my left arm on my leg – hoping he’d reach out for it. Sure enough after about the third arm squeeze he interlocked his fingers with mine and I held onto his arm for the last 1/4 of the movie. Mission accomplished.

After the movie we went to a nearby restaurant. He ordered a beer and I got us the most incredible dessert to share – cheesecake wrapped in a soft tortilla shell drizzled with caramel (which was heavenly). Our table also had kraft paper / crayons for us to draw and release our inner child play. We played some games of hang man, puzzles, and he even challenged me to a game of thumb wars – which took me back to Grade 7. Then we got into a game of 2 truths and a lie, which is a perfect way to learn interesting and personal bits of information about your date.

Ryan had been a gentleman all evening. He purchased our movie tickets, and let me pick whatever I wanted off the menu at the restaurant. He complimented me on my brown eyes, and even told me he thought my braces were cute. I mean – they are hardly cute in my opinion, but I still thought it was sweet of him to say that. Nice to know that chivalry isn’t dead!

The restaurant was closing at 12 and so we left at quarter to. It was absolutely freezing outside, so I latched onto him for warmth as we walked over to his car. We made it back to my house around midnight and he parked outside. This is the moment that usually gets my stomach turning upside down – over thinking whether to go in for the kiss or not. Thankfully he made things easy for me by leaning over, softly placing his hands over my cheeks and embracing me in a passionate kiss. Oh boy – was he a good kisser… It only lasted for about 5 minutes – but I felt like that was the perfect length of time for a second date.

When we leaned away from each other – he said to me “until next time”. Let’s hope that means a third date will be on the horizon! 2015 is definitely off to a good start.

Confidence

On October. 6th, I underwent orthognathic jaw surgery. I had both my lower and upper jaw repositioned along with getting my 4 wisdom teeth removed. Yes – ouch!! The procedure was done for both functional and cosmetic reasons. I committed to this process a year and a half ago and it’s surreal to think I’m in the recovery stage now (which explains why I haven’t posted any new dating adventures in awhile).

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Confidence has always been something that I’ve struggled with in my life. Don’t get me wrong, having gone on so many dates and building this blog has really brought my confidence level up. However, I still struggle with truly being happy with myself and have always been very self-critical as to how I appear in the public eye.

You know that old saying where you have to love yourself in order to be loved in return? Well it’s true. Perhaps this has been why I’ve never committed to a long-term relationship before. It’s always partly been fear, but also because I’ve known that I need to love myself and be fully comfortable in my own skin in order to let someone else in.

AB has been writing to check up on me every other day to see how I’m feeling. I even had the courage to send him a picture of my new profile and he said “Who is that beautiful girl?” I choked up a bit because it was the first time I truly accepted the fact that I did look beautiful. He’s so sweet, and really cares about me. However, I’m healing right now. The more I’ve been recovering, the less excited I’ve been to see him again… (don’t roll your eyes). I need time to reflect on what exactly I need in my life right now. I need to decide how much I really need to share in common with someone in order to progress a relationship.

I’m proving to myself how strong I am throughout this recovery and so excited for what the future has in store. I’ll be unveiling a new me to the public. It will be a bit daunting and scary, but can’t wait to love myself and others even more than before.

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Catfish Detective

Having been part of the online dating world for several years now – it still never ceases to amaze me how I can get fooled by men claiming in their profiles to be someone that they clearly aren’t.


Just over a week ago I stumbled across Aaron’s profile on PlentyofFish. He had about 6 pictures (all seemingly normal of a 24 year old guy) and claimed he was an investment banker living in Toronto. His profile stated he also had a Yacht called “the Anna Maria” which he liked to take out and sail over Lake Ontario. Okay — so that should have been an immediate red flag.. but I was still curious to learn more about who this guy was. Maybe he just came from a wealthy family and was fortunate to have luxuries in his life like that.

I messaged him asking whereabouts he worked in Toronto. Never got a response…

Fast forward to today and I receive a message back from him.

Hey. Yeah I work as an investment banker in the financial district. Whereabouts do you work? Would you be interested in meeting up over your lunch break tomorrow?

I was caught off guard with his mention of meeting up so soon. We had no back and forth communication whatsoever. I thought it was a bit odd – although at the same time refreshing to hear he wanted to meet in person to learn more about me versus having a long winded dialogue over PoF or text.

When I got home – I decided to put on my Nev and Max cap (for those of you who don’t know who they are, learn about their TV show Catfish here). I thought to pull some of Aaron’s profile pictures onto my desktop and drag them into Google Images. The first image I dropped in to my surprise WAS A HIT! It was the exact same picture as a guy on LinkedIn (with a different name) who had 500+ connections, went to a University in Kingston but currently lived in California – and worked as an engineer. Had no trace of banking anywhere on his professional page.

I gave myself a pat on the back for taking some time tonight to investigate – especially before I gave away any more information about myself. I immediately reported Aaron’s profile on PoF and provided the LinkedIn page for the moderators to see. Surely within minutes, his profile was deleted!

For those of you who are also currently online searching for love – don’t rush into meeting up with the guy/girl you’re talking to. Make sure to do enough basic research beforehand. Enough that you can be almost 100% sure that the person you are meeting up with is being true to who they say they are. I always try and speak on the phone before meeting up in person – I would strongly encourage you to do the same. Another tip that’s worked for me is to find out what school they went to / what program they were in. That way you can do a basic Facebook search to try and uncover a bit more about them and make sure what they’re telling you is the truth.

P.S. If you’re wondering – Advertising Boy and I are still talking almost every day. I’m still exploring the online scene as I’m not sure if it will turn into anything with AB just yet. We’re making plans to go out again shortly.. so definitely staying optimistic!

Florida Sunshine Cleanse

After my date with LinkedIn boy last month – I was hesitant as to whether or not I should see him again. I was afraid that the more intimate we got… the more attached I’d get. After giving it some deep thought over the next few days and taking into account all of your insightful feedback, my final decision was to go with the flow, and if he were to ask me out – I would see him again. I’d go with what I felt comfortable with, even if it slightly tampered with my heart.

A few more casual, flirtatious text messages were sent back and forth the week following our date, but after that I never heard from him again. Unless you count the dozens of email notifications I received whenever he went live on his gaming website. Needless to say – I’ve now unsubscribed from those email alerts, at the same time unsubscribing from the fantasy of any future between the two of us.

Since then I’ve spoken to a few more guys on OKC and Tinder – but majority of them, similarly to LinkedIn boy, were just looking for a ‘Friends with Benefits’ type relationship. Feeling discouraged, I logged off all online accounts and focused more on going out with my friends.

On a positive note, this Canadian suburban girl just got back from a road trip which was a 24+ hour drive each way! I spent over a week right by the ocean and beautiful palm trees. Lying by the pool and beach with the scorching sun washing over me, feeling the mist of the ocean tickling the tip of my toes, sipping a yummy Pina Colada in hand… I felt free. Free from all my boy troubles, stress of finding a full-time job, amongst a list of other things.

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I was very tempted to stay in Florida permanently and continue to soak in the beautifully tanned men. However, reality sunk in the day we departed and before I knew it, I was back in Toronto.

Still, I am happy to be back. I’d highly recommend you take a road trip or spontaneous vacation, even if it’s just for a week – to de-stress and reflect. Being away reminded me how it’s important to go out on adventures and live life to the fullest. I promised myself to do less online scouting for love and more going out with friends and exploring my beautiful city.

Spring has Sprung, but not My Love Life

I thought I’d kick off the first day of Spring by grabbing Gelato with my latest Tinder match, David. We had started talking on March. 15. David and I had a few mutual friends, and didn’t live too far from one another. I made it clear right off the bat that I wasn’t looking for a casual hookup, and he felt the same way. Once that was out of the way, we started getting into a lengthy conversation through our Tinder messages. By day 2, he asked for my cell number, and so the conversation continued via texting. We talked about practically everything; where we went to school, places we’ve traveled, family, friends, likes/dislikes.. the list goes on for miles.

By day 3, we added each other on the iPhone application called Snapchat. What I really like about this app, is that you can send instant pictures and videos to one another for a certain number of seconds – which gives me a sense of relief, knowing their face matches that of their pictures. David and I also made plans to meet on Thursday (today).

By day 4, we must have sent at least 100 text messages back and forth between one another. We still hadn’t spoken on the phone. I had thought of bringing up the option several times but by this point, it didn’t really make sense as I had plans to meet him the next day.

I met up with David after work today, around 5:15pm. To sum up our date… we certainly clicked and there weren’t any long, awkward pauses as I thought there might be. However, I felt the conversation fell a bit flat. It was a bit of a let down as we really didn’t have any of the first date conversation topics left. I wasn’t ready to jump into talking about anything more serious, so all we had left to talk about was how work was and the weather (and that’s a sign to get out!) I also quite honestly didn’t feel the physical attraction was there in person, even though I did find him cute in his pictures.

After about an hour and a half – not even.. we decided to head our separate ways. There was no mention of seeing each other again.

A valuable lesson I’ve taken away from this – is that when you start talking to someone new.. you shouldn’t get to know each others full life story before you meet. It’s important to get to know each other in person. Otherwise, it may sometimes feel like a big let down and disappointment.

So yes, spring has officially sprung, but my love life is unfortunately still pretty cold.