Menchies or Munchies?

I chatted on the phone about three times with Kevin, one of my most recent potential suitors from POF, prior to us meeting the other night. Each conversation was about an hour long, and he was really growing on me. His voice was sexy, and he had just the right balance of sarcasm and humour. During our first hour long phone conversation, we decided to ask each other random questions back and forth. Both of us share the same favourite colour: purple. We both take the subway everyday to get to work. He’s allergic to cats: major strike against him. Although as we continued asking each other questions, all of what we shared in common made up for that large strike. From everything we gathered about each other, he created a story of ‘how we met’, if the two of us were to work out:

We were both on the subway, en route to work. With suburbangirl4love being so directionally challenged, she asked me for directions. Something clicked and we decided to exchange our names to add each other on Facebook. From there we saw we had several mutual friends and decided it would be cool to go out and get to know each other more. So on our first date, we grabbed a bite and then proceeded to buy each other purple shirts.

He then proceeded to go into how lame he thought it was (sounded better in his head and regretted saying it out loud). I thought it was really cute and told him I wouldn’t change a thing.

So Kevin and I decided to meet at Menchie’s (frozen yoghurt place) Wednesday night. Being in condo sales, Kevin works about 10 hours each day so it was nice of him to meet up with me after work. Menchie’s closes at 11pm week nights so we had decided to meet for 9:30. He texted me around 8:30 to say he was about to leave downtown and he’d probably make it home for around 9:30. I told Kevin to text me when he was about to leave to head over to meet me.

I waited and waited in anticipation. 9:30 turned to 10. I finally heard from him to say he was leaving his house and would be there for quarter after. So I thought… okay, we’ll at least have 45 minutes to hang out. I walked over to Menchie’s and sat outside waiting for him. Within 5 minutes, I literally got 3 different mosquito bites which just made my fidgeting worse.

20 after 10, Kevin arrives and first thing I think: super cute but definitely shorter than me. I get up to hug him hello and I awkwardly bend over a little to hug him. Yes, he was definitely a bit shorter.  Anyway, I put that aside and we walked into Menchie’s. He told me it was his first time which was cool so I showed him how it works and proceeded to greedily fill my cup with Cake Batter, Peanut Butter and Cookies n’ Cream Frozen Yoghurt. Then the usual toppings: cheese cake bits and strawberries. My salivation almost made me forget about him for a second. Then my brain snapped back and we went to the counter. He said it was on him. (Bonus points!)

We sat down and conversation went really well. We picked up from our phone conversations and I found out we shared a lot more in common. 11pm arrived and the Menchie’s crew started closing up which meant we were going to be kicked out soon. I suggested we walk and talk around the plaza. We got up again and I noticed the height difference, although it didn’t bother me as much this time. We started walking around and the mosquitos instantly attacked us. We sat down on a bench and continued talking. That’s when I get call #1 from my mother. I pick it up and she asked where I was. I told her I was just hanging out in the area. Of course, she started freaking out, asking me to be more specific. I mouthed to Kevin how she was being a typical, overprotective mom. For laughs, I put her on speaker phone so he could hear how worked up she was getting about me (out of love, of course). I had told Kevin she knew who I was with beforehand. He said that was cool, because for all she knew, he could of been some serial killer.

Kevin proceeded to shout into the phone about how I was in safe hands. Oh, and that we were just getting high and drunk. I immediately went off speaker phone and told my mom none of that was true. My mom knows me, so she believed me, but she of course got very concerned about him after she heard that. Not because she worried about him influencing me, but apparently because she found him to be too nonchalant considering he had never met her before. I said I’d keep her updated. We then walked over to sit on the grass and there were definitely some flirtatious vibes going back and forth. It had only been about 20 minutes since phone call #1, and then I see my mom calling again. I pick it up and she said that she was going to send my dad to pick me up in the next ten minutes. I said to her that Kevin offered to give me a ride home. She then proceeded to freak out at me: “Listen to me right now. Please, do not get in the car with him.” She continued and her voice kept growing with concern and anger for me to listen to her. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like she was ruining the end of my date. I could tell Kevin was getting frustrated and God knows what he was thinking about my family and me. I hung up on my mom (I know, horrible). Kevin then said:

It’s getting kind of late, and I know we both have to get up early for work tomorrow. Do you still want a ride home?

My mom’s voice got in my head and I told him I was just going to walk home (as much as I would have loved for him to drive me home). He understood. I felt like an idiot. We hugged goodbye and there really wasn’t any mention of seeing each other again. I felt like the night could have ended on such a better note if my mom hadn’t interfered.

My dad found me about halfway home so I hopped in the car but was too angry to speak. When I got home I stormed to my room. My mom came upstairs shortly after and apologized several times. She felt really bad, but was genuinely concerned about me getting into a car with him.

I was really upset with her that night, but I forgave her soon after. As her actions were only out of love and concern for me.

I texted Kevin shortly after I got home to apologize for what happened and hoped he didn’t get the wrong impression of me or my family. I told him I freaked out at my mom and he responded, saying I shouldn’t blame her. So update: I haven’t heard from him since then. You know what though, if he’s not going to give me a second chance based on that, then he really isn’t worth having in my life. Your thoughts?

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8 thoughts on “Menchies or Munchies?

  1. This would potentially be a deal-breaker for me. At a certain age I expect a little more independence from Mom and Dad. At 21… ehh, maybe I’d cut you a little slack. Maybe. But I remember being with one girl who literally had to call to check in with Mom every half-hour. And she was 25! No bueno. Nobody wants to deal with overprotective parents. Saying you freaked out at her afterwards might not be the best way to impress, either.

    Just curious – how old is this dude?

    • Hmm. True! I texted him on impulse that evening and if I were to have waited a bit longer I most likely wouldn’t have mentioned about how I reacted towards my mom. Can’t change the past though.

      He’s 23.

  2. Look, I think it’s a little deeper than that: I doubt the influence of your Ma had much to do with it. Short guys (or, shorter, if you prefer) will tend to back off if they get the feeling that it’s an issue. The humour bit with your Ma was a bad call on his part and he’s probably embarrassed about that.
    He’s in sales, right? So he’s going to be looking to “close” a date. He’s going to be lacking in confidence anyway (all sales guys are, below a certain level of success). If you like him, you will have to make the next move. Make it a daytime thing – invite him to a BBQ with other friends or something: find out if he *is* inappropriate or whether it was just nerves. He’s looking to take the lead from you, too.
    No-one wants a pussy for a boyfriend – stealing from someone else, “you’ve already got one, why would you want another?”. Yet, sometimes, especially in the world in which we live now (that of instant gratification), a boy needs to be shown that it’s safe to take that lead.
    Or are you really that interested, anyway?
    Boy x

  3. No one wants overprotective parents. A lot of guys I know literally turn the other way if they have to deal with an overprotective parent. Its simply unacceptable at your age! Your in the adult world now..being over 20 and all. Its time to have a chat with your parents and be independent. You shouldn’t have a curfew at your age.

  4. I wouldn’t have even taken a call from my mother on a date! That is just odd. Reading this I wondered if you were still in high school, but the other comments indicate you are not. I think he probably got scared off. You might need to set a few boundaries with your parents.

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