Yesterday I was on such a high from my hot chocolate date on Sunday. I saw Business boy was on Facebook chat in the evening but I decided not to message him. I presumed he wanted to wait a bit longer before messaging me. Today has been quite the emotional roller coaster. By this afternoon, it had almost been 48 hours since we had seen each other and still no message from him. I started questioning everything. Did he not find me attractive? Was I too sweet for him? Did he not feel the same connection I did?
On Sunday when I got home from my date, I had told one of my best friends in Germany how amazing I felt it went. We Skyped this afternoon and I told her how I was feeling confused as to where his head was at. Part of me wanted to write to see how he was doing, and also to tell him what a small world it was that my dad and his parents may have gone to University together. The other part of me wanted to wait for him to write to make sure he was genuinely interested in getting to know me more. I agreed with her that he could just be shy and was waiting for me to write to him. I mean, he seemed pretty confident when I met him, but maybe it was too old fashioned of me to think that the guy should always be the one to take the next step. So I bravely composed a text message to him at 3:48 pm:
Hey! How are you? This is kind of a small world but I think my dad and your parents may have gone to University together.
I figured he wouldn’t respond til he finished work so I continued Skyping with my friend and then watched some television to distract myself. The hours ticked by and still nothing. I had dinner around 6:30 pm and afterwards I thought I’d check to see if he had been on Facebook recently. I typed in his name and when I clicked to his page all I saw was ‘Add as a friend’. My jaw literally dropped. I felt numb and couldn’t contain my emotions.
I began over analyzing everything. Was this guy feeding me a load of shit on Sunday? Was there any truth to what he made me believe we had in common? The tears kept flowing and I couldn’t make sense of why he would just drop me like that without any explanation. More questions continued popping into my head. Maybe he thought I was a stalker. Though I thought he would find that small world story so cool? Maybe I should have waited and instead completely blew my shot with him.
After having taken a few hours to calm down and decide what to do, it became very clear to me this guy owed me an explanation. At the very least to say the attraction wasn’t there on his end. I just couldn’t believe he would delete me and ignore my message as if I didn’t ever exist and we never met up. I wrote again at 8:15 pm:
So you delete me off Facebook and I don’t even get an explanation? Wow. I really thought you were different. Can you at least tell me what was so bad that I deserved that?
11:30 pm and still no response. You know what – I think I got my closure. This guy was obviously not who I thought he was. I mean, he didn’t have to give me a ride home if he wasn’t interested. Then to drop me out of the blue with no explanation? I don’t deserve that.
So I felt pretty down tonight. Dumb-founded and completely caught off guard. Going from an extreme high to low. Self-conscious and upset with myself for believing he would be different.
As for continuing my search online: I think I’m going to take a break for a little bit. Don’t worry though, there will definitely be more stories to report without a doubt. I’ll just find them in places I’d least expect to.
Do you have any theories to what could of happened with him?