Signed, Utterly Confused and Disappointed

Hello to all my new followers! I’ve now reached over 100. I feel so blessed to have so many of you following along my hilarious and crazy journey to find love.

First off, I was unable to go to the speed dating event two nights ago. As I mentioned, I’ve been battling a bad cold over the last week and have been on antibiotics for the last few days. I was disappointed not to go, if not for the experience alone, but I knew it was best to get fully better and not expose my cold to anyone. The one positive thing I hoped from getting a cold was a sweet, sexy rhasp to my voice… but NO. I woke up to my phone ringing the other day to confirm an order I made to a print shop, sounding like a 70 year old man. I tried apologizing but it just continued getting worse. Luckily, my voice is almost back to normal.

Now if you can believe it, the guy I was talking about in ‘I Fed Him French Fries for Crying Out Loud!‘ finally took the initiative to reach out to me yesterday. However, it was surprisingly on the online dating site where our conversation initially started.

Heeelllu dere =)

Me: Hey stranger.

I couldn’t believe how ridiculous this was. I felt like we were back to square one and the mind games were starting again. It’s like we never hung out or kissed before. Quite honestly it felt like a slap in the face and it hurt.

I completely agreed with elizabethbennett2‘s comment, that he probably wasn’t into me as much as I was into him, and just wanted the “relationship” to die of starvation.

However, when I gave this guy space and finally came to terms with not seeing him anymore, he reached out in a form that I found very confusing and bizarre. After having gone on 4 dates, why was this guy messaging me on the site that everything started. Why not just call me and have a conversation? Even texting me is better than starting from square one again. Part of me didn’t even think I should respond. Although I couldn’t help but feel that maybe he still felt something deep within that pushed him to message me.

So as our online conversation continued, he proceeded to ask me about how my cruise was. He then told me he had a large amount of work to get done before the school year finished and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by it. Which made me think: Well, maybe I’m being too hard on him. Maybe he can’t commit to making any definite plans aside from focusing on his studies right now. But hang on… he can still make the time to go the gym a few times a week and continue having conversations with girls from the website? I’m busy too, but if I genuinely liked someone I would still make the time to see them. 

Then he asked me if I’ve received any crazy messages from anyone on the site recently. I was honest and told him I’ve received a few messages but I haven’t met up with anyone since him. He told me he hadn’t met up with anyone else either. However, he was still communicating with girls and even sent me an entire conversation thread he recently had with one of them. I was shocked. She was accusing him of just looking to sleep around with girls from the site based on a comment he made in his profile description. Which led into a heated back and forth conversation with him defending himself and telling her off. WHY would he be sending this to me. Why do I care what conversations he is having with other girls?

He also recently got back into smoking weed, and I have no clue whether that could have any effect on the way he’s been communicating with me. I promised myself I wouldn’t judge him for that. However, it is an issue if it dramatically affects his behaviour.

I always find the male mind a strange thing to wrap my head around, which is why I welcome opinions from all my readers about what they make of him. Is it time to ignore and move on?

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15 thoughts on “Signed, Utterly Confused and Disappointed

  1. Honey, I’ll tell you what happened, he wasn’t that into you and got bored one day on the site and messaged you to see if you were still around. Kind of like fishing, he wanted to see if you were still on the hook.

    Also, when a guy starts going off about how busy he is, it means he will disappear on you again. I’m saying this because this has happened to me SEVERAL times and I thought maybe something would come of it, it NEVER did. I had guys disappear on me to show up 6 months later begging to be back with me, to, guess what?, disappear on me again.

    No, don’t talk to him anymore, let dead dogs lie and it’s not a great mystery, he’s just lame.

  2. Without a shadow of a doubt, move on. I can tell you that this chap is a pathological liar: he hasn’t “recently got back into smoking weed”, he’s just realised that he shouldn’t have lied about it in the first place. He wove a story to see you, realised he quite liked you, panicked he’d be found out as partially a fraud, hid away for a few weeks exploring other avenues while being too much of a coward to own up to you, and is now attempting to backtrack. The reason the contact is over the dating site is so that it’s less personal; there are no call records or text message histories.
    And Elenamusic is spot on with the disappearing act: it was something I use to pull in my early twenties when I couldn’t figure out what I wanted, or what I was supposed to feel. It’s immaturity. He’ll get there, but not with you and not for a while.
    Boy x

  3. ughhhh…..guys are so strange. I mean…everybody has already told you that you should move on. I totally agree with them!

    I was in a very similar situation a little over a year ago. This guy I was seeing would pop up every so often and would often tell me how busy he was :/ it got to a point where I got so fed up and stopped talking to him. And he stopped reaching out to me every month or so.

    It sucks.

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