An HBO show I’ve been obsessing over since its 2012 premiere is Lena Dunham’s “Girls.” The story follows the lives of several 20 something year olds in New York City and the challenges and tribulations they face along the way. The script is raw, real and relates so well to every other 20 something year old who has or most likely will experience similar life situations.
Dunham both directs and acts as the lead role ‘Hannah’ who plays her character so well; projecting to all her viewers such confidence in her own skin and makes us feel secure and inspired, knowing that we aren’t going through our day to day’s life challenges alone.
In the most recent episode that aired this week, Hannah was introduced to her next door neighbour who was in his 40s. What was initially meant to be an awkward meeting about dumping her garbage in his disposal bin ended up leading into a torrid sexual relationship. Everything was heated and passionate and he invited her to stay the night at his house. The following day she found herself in such a natural, happy place with him. Once the evening arrived, she came to the realization that she was worth feeling and being in a state of happiness. She fell apart in front of him, leaving herself completely vulnerable and exposed. As she continued talking he listened but you could sense he was withdrawing from the conversation and wasn’t as engaged and responsive as she hoped he would be.
Just like Hannah, I am constantly trying to get myself outside my comfort zone and experience things I would have never thought I would. The problem is aside from all the crazy adventures and life experiences and being there for my friends and family, I need to also make my own state of happiness a priority. Would I necessarily strip down all my feelings and insecurities on the second day of being with a guy? Probably not or else he’d start backing off a bit. When I told my best guy friend that I always have heart to heart conversations with my sister and we talk about how we’re feeling, he just looked at me strangely and said he never does with his brother. For most guys, it’s hard to open up and I guess for girls it’s different because it’s something we constantly do.
I think it’s important to share you’re feelings with someone you deeply care about, but you can’t engulf the guy with all your feelings in 20 minutes. It’s something that will naturally take time as you continue getting to know one another.
I question whether I opened up too much about my experience level with the most recent guy I’ve been seeing. That was a week ago and as much as I thought he was okay with moving slowly and getting to know me more he’s definitely been more distant. He’s still been texting and asking me how I’m doing but it’s been a week, and still no hint towards wanting to go out again. Truly, it’s probably for the better. As if I fully gave myself to him and that’s all he wanted, I’d probably never forgive myself.
Girls – at what point is it okay to start opening up about your feelings to the guy you’re seeing? Guys – what’s your take on all of this?