The Texting Game

I’m sure all of you have been through it before. You go on an incredible date and once you get home you think about how you’re already falling for that person. Then you continuously glance at your cellular device every 5 seconds with those puppy dog, glazed over eyes. Doing this with high hopes that he/she will write to you saying how much they enjoyed the night as well.

Tuesday night I came home from my date feeling extremely giddy and slightly infatuated. I had mentioned for him to message me saying he got home safe as it was a very foggy night. However, I didn’t hear from him and by 1 a.m. I thought it’d be best to turn my phone off to try and get some sleep.

However, my mind kept repeating all of the nights events over and over while lying in my bed. Somehow or another I got to sleep but I woke up to my room still incredibly dark and not a sound in my crazy, loud household. I felt wide awake and looked over at my alarm clock which read: 4:10 a.m. Shit. I knew it was going to be a long night. I kept rolling back and forth from side to side and couldn’t sleep. I tried listening to music but that didn’t help. At some point I must have fallen asleep again as the second time I woke up it was daylight and the sounds of my cranky sister screaming for breakfast and my 3 cat’s meowing for food told me it was time to get ready to head to class. I checked my phone and still no message. Slightly disappointed I took off my makeup from the night before (didn’t want to go to school with raccoon eyes), had a bowl of cereal and hopped on the bus.

As the day went on the lack of sleep was getting to me. It was hard to focus on anything my professor was lecturing about as I kept wondering if he had written. After class I checked my phone only to get a message from my friend who had written ‘did he message you yet’. No… he did not. I was beginning to freak out. Maybe he didn’t mean anything he said the night before. Did he think I was a horrible kisser? If he did… screw him! If  that was the case though, why would he have said to me after we shared that moment it had been one of the best nights he had in awhile? On the other hand he could have just been really busy that day… so as much as I wanted to message him I waited.

Sure enough I got a text that evening from him saying ‘Hey! How was youuuuur day?’ My puppy dog eyes reappeared and I wanted to immediately respond but then I thought to myself… when does the ‘game’ end? Do I have to wait and respond in an hour to keep him wanting more? Do guys even think about it or do they just respond whenever they get a chance to? Sometimes I freak out at myself for over analyzing all the small details but I can’t help myself. So about 20 minutes later I messaged him saying I had a class in the morning. I also said I had a great time with him. I didn’t really ask him any questions but when I pressed the enter button I was hopeful he’d write back saying he had a great time too.

No response.

So I wonder if I should text him again later today with a question this time or maybe just ask if he wants to talk on the phone? I find it so awkward asking a guy if he wants to talk… maybe I should just call him tonight.

Guys… your thoughts? Am I over analyzing the situation? Girls – what would you do?

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17 thoughts on “The Texting Game

  1. well if you think about it like this: how is he supposed to respond to your text if there’s nothing really that warrants a response? lol.

    we, as girls, have an awful habit of over analyzing things. I’ve just come to the conclusion that we can’t help it, it’s in our DNA. What we can help is how we deal with it. We can’t seem too available at first, so I’m glad you waited some time to text him back.

      • he’s a guy….they’ll probably never say what we want them to say LOL. the way I see it is: if he’s still talking to you then he’s interested. that’s all you need to worry about.

  2. I wish I could offer my sage like wisdom here, but as you can see, I’m in the same boat. I’m just as dumbfounded and confused as you. Though, I do think the first commenter has a great point. I hate playing games and maybe that’s why I’m still waiting for my guy to contact me. I say, if he’s worth anything, no matter what you do (text, call, Etc), he would still dig you.

  3. Keep yourself busy. I think you’re driving yourself a little crazy with all this thinking :)

    Don’t do the pursuing, let him do that. This is the most annoying part about being in a heterosexual relationship–this is a generalization, but men tend to *want* to do the pursuing. Don’t make it easy for him. Don’t wait for his texts, go do something fun and be productive. Show him that you have a great life and show him that he should want to be a part of that life. You’ve shown your interest and now its his turn.

    And if for whatever reason, he doesn’t return your feelings/interest, the world is a big place :) I’m glad you got one down on your bucket list!

  4. Yeah, this is always difficult to think about and handle. I would have handled the situation pretty similar to you. But after a couple times of trying to contact him and getting little or no response, I’d just stop trying. There could be a bunch of different reasons why he doesn’t respond, but in the end, if you really meant something to him and he wanted to get to know you, he’d try and find a way to do it. I wouldn’t fret and like asociologyphdstudent said just go out and live your life. Rather than wasting time worrying about this guy, go out there, have fun, and maybe you’ll meet a better guy!

  5. Oh, I so know how you are feeling. They are guys. They aren’t analyzing every single syllable like we women do. He’s just texting when he feels like it And I think he likes you…he did text back. :)

  6. I think you are overly dependent on your cellphone. I don’t even have a cellphone. No I don’t need: I don’t have children and his are adult ( 33 & 31, yea older than folks here.) And my partner doesn’t have one either.

    We’ve been together…for last 22 yrs. What I’m trying to say is that:

    *non-cellphone use reduces over obsession of requiring feedback from the other person, too often.
    *you focus on living now and not worry so much about someone else, a cellphone call away (I mean he’s not your child and you’re not his child. So no need to constantly check for each other’s responses.)
    *develop trust in each other..even if you don’t hear from each other for 6,9 hrs.

    It’s ok, we do shop separately without consulting by cellphone and trust each other to buy right stuff or reasonable stuff.

    When you date just make sure you and he aren’t using cellphones for 5-6 hrs. solid. That’s your test. And try it …over and over. You have to love, be at peace with each other’s company without any cellphone, computer interruption.

    • Thanks! I certainly agree… it’s not healthy for any relationship to be based on constantly using technology as a means of communicating back and forth. Much better not to rely on it and rather just enjoy each others company in person. Hopefully the guy I am seeing will realize that soon enough and ask me out again!

  7. Hey! Little late to the party here … but I think when guys are interested they find a way/reason to call/text whatever. That’s not to say that he doesn’t like you — he might like you just fine but for whatever reason he’s just not in pursue-mode. Doesn’t that ever happen to you? You go out with a guy and don’t follow up? Or you’re talking to a guy online and you just sort of let it go … There’s nothing wrong with him, you just stop talking.

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