Is smoking weed a turn on or turn off?

Happy new year everyone! As hopeful as I was to have found the right guy for me last year, the right one just hasn’t stuck yet. So I’ve reset the clock and I’ve told myself 2013 will be a great year. I’ll be graduating in a few months, have to start looking for a job (pretty nerve racking), but hopefully all my travels and experiences this year will also help me find someone special.

About a week ago I gave Plenty Of Fish another shot so I signed up and came across a guy’s profile which said he lived in the same area as me. Very cute; tall, blue eyes, looked Italian, and his description came across sweet and genuine. I messaged him and within a few hours received a message back. Since then we kept going back and forth figuring out how many similarities we shared from HBO TV shows to similar taste in music to mutual friends. Awkwardly enough it turned out I knew his ex-girlfriend from back in elementary school who he had been with for 4 years. However, I hadn’t talked to her since Gr. 5 so it would have been very awkward if I still kept in contact with her.

So we went from POF emails to texting back and forth which led to him asking me out of the blue yesterday afternoon if I wanted to hang out at his place that evening. He said, ‘I hope it doesn’t scare you off… I’m not just looking for one thing’. He told me his mom took the car that day/night to visit one of his older brothers in Waterloo so he was trapped in his house and would be busy working on homework the rest of the weekend. He suggested even meeting up for coffee at a local Tim Hortons but 1) I’ve never liked coffee dates (I find them uncomfortable) and 2) I knew he wasn’t lying about who he said he was. I called him and we talked on the phone for a bit and I really enjoyed it. So although some of you may think I’m crazy for going over to his place on the first date, I went for it. I told my mom and promised I’d text her once I got there to make sure I felt comfortable and she knew his address in case she didn’t hear from me.

I went over around 8:30PM and I immediately felt comfortable. He gave me a tour of his place and then took us into the basement where he had a pool table set up. We played a few rounds while getting to know each other which led to being a bit flirtatious as the games went on. Then he gave me a private show of him playing the guitar which was pretty sexy. I was on vocals, but it was very embarrassing… we just laughed it off. Somehow or another the conversation led into partying which then led into him asking me if I ever smoked weed. I said I’ve never smoked anything before. He was honest about how he used to smoke weed a lot and still does but has been on a break from it for awhile. He told me it helps keep him feeling productive. I told him I didn’t judge people based on that and I was fine with it but in the back of my head I wondered if I could date a guy who smoked weed frequently. What were the side effects? It was then edging towards 11PM and I felt as much as I wanted to stay and order in food (he suggested) and perhaps watch a movie, I wanted to keep him wanting more. Plus I had to get up at 6AM yesterday morning to go downtown for an 8:30AM class. So I had to make up a little excuse to leave early… although I felt bad since he was all alone. He was so gentleman like and helped put on my coat and then we hugged goodbye. I didn’t want to leave but out the door I went and hoped he’d write to me again soon.

Still haven’t heard from him yet, but hopefully he felt some sort of connection on his end as I felt on mine. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s still sleeping (it’s pretty crazy that I’m not still in dreamland on a Saturday morning). So the big question is – what do you guys think about dating a guy who likes to smoke weed? Purely weed… not cigarettes. Is it something that shouldn’t raise too much of a red flag?


8 thoughts on “Is smoking weed a turn on or turn off?

  1. I wouldn’t make a judgmental call on that one simply because people like to try different things. I actually admire that he told you upfront about it–its very bold of him to do, especially on a first date. His comment of “it helps keep him feeling productive” is kind of interesting. Is he an artist or something? Is he actually productive or just saying he “feels” productive?

    I guess its up to you if you are okay with it and okay with seeing this guy again. One of the things I loved about online dating was that I could filter out qualities that I didn’t want someone I was dating to have. In my head, if you admit to smoking weed, drinking heavily, don’t have a high school education, etc etc, we are probably not on the same wavelength to begin with. If you and him are on the same wave length, then it should be fine =)

    • Thanks!! All good points to consider. I do wonder about whether it actually makes him productive or it just gets him to ‘feel’ productive. I really do like this guy and he has messaged me since so hopefully I’ll see him again! I agree about not judging him based off of that. As everything else about him is great and quite refreshing in comparison to a lot of other guys I’ve talked to online.

  2. I’ve been there before and as someone who smokes occasionally I think that as long as he’s not just smoking weed and bumming around you should keep seeing him, if that’s the direction your heading in. You like him and he seems to like you, besides you might be the good influence he needs to whittle it down from frequently to occasionally.

  3. I think it’s all about personal preference. I personally will not date anybody that smokes weed. I don’t do it and I won’t tolerate it. Regardless of what people thing…there are many negative side effects that come with smoking it on a regular basis. So I just don’t want to deal with it.

    I say….keep dating him and you’ll see whether or not it’s something that bothers you.

  4. As you popped over to my blog I figured I would return the favour.

    Whilst i’m here, I will give you a male perspective:

    I don’t see the weed smoking as an issue. It’s not exactly a hard drug, is not life threateningly addictive and is something that a lot of people use to unwind. Personally I see it as no different to a glass of wine in the evening.

    As you like the guy and enjoyed yourself on the date I think you should continue to pursue this relationship. If things start getting serious then it may be worth addressing the weed smoking and asking him to either cut down or not smoke around you.

    • Thanks for commenting! Great to hear a males perspective on this. I agree that if things do get more serious I could bring the subject up again but so far it hasn’t been an issue and just been enjoying our time together.

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