Tonight I went on a date with another ‘fish’ who I started talking to last week. He was 28 (7 years older than me), a lawyer and looking for a relationship. I thought, this guy may in fact be the winner of my heart. I had never talked with a guy who was 28, but I figured that I need a guy that is at least 24, 25 – who has maturity and a sense of where he is going in life and what he wants versus the majority of guys my age who are looking for something more casual.
I knew he was a bit shorter than me before meeting him. However, it wasn’t until we met tonight that I realized he was in fact quite a bit shorter than I imagined him being. Although, I was willing to look past that as he appeared in front of me as cute as in the pictures I had seen. We decided to meet up for drinks at a location he suggested which was closer to his area than mine but I was fine with it. Once we sat down one of the first things I learned was his apartment was conveniently connected right next to where we went. He even threw in a wink. I knew he was just being flirtatious though so I went with it and we talked for an hour sitting down at a booth. The music was loud but it was still easy to converse with one another. By that point I felt comfortable from the cocktail except conversation wasn’t flowing as naturally as I hoped it would. I guess part of my mind was still preoccupied with knowing his place was right next door. Throughout our conversation, he would make remarks like ‘you should come over to my place to watch such and such movie sometime’ and ‘I have the place to myself’. He was checking his phone several times towards the end of the hour and I wondered if he was losing interest. As I was nearing the end of my cocktail a panic button clicked inside of me and I excused myself to the washroom and called my friend to pick me up. When I sat back down conversation started a bit slow but got back to a steady flow. He offered me a second drink but I politely declined. At which point I was interrupted by my phone again to see a message from my friend saying she was waiting outside to pick me up.
I apologized and explained my ride was here early and he was a bit caught of guard saying that was one of the earliest ending Saturday night outings he’d be on. I agreed and felt bad but he still sweetly paid the bill and when I offered to pay he said ‘no… don’t worry, you can pay next time’.
I’ll probably need a night to sleep on it, but I just don’t know if he’s the guy I’m meant to be with. I know you don’t always feel butterflies the first time you get to know someone (although I did feel them with the last guy I dated who turned out to be a bit of a coward). It could have just been fear that had taken over me… as I knew I wasn’t ready to go back to his apartment on our first date and knowing it was right there made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I question whether 28 is too old and with that age comes too much experience. I wouldn’t call him a player at all, in fact he came across as a gentleman which is rare to see a lot nowadays. However, he knew the right things to say (of course, he’s a lawyer!) and maybe I found all those factors put together a bit intimidating which didn’t allow me to fully relax as much as I could have.
A) Would you date a guy 7 years older than you? B) Should height ever be an issue or does that just make someone look completely shallow? C) Is it the new norm to check your phone while on a date or is that just being rude?