Butterflies: Fantasy or Fact?

I thought I’d post a follow up to my banker boy blog post.

We ended up going out on date #2 last week and it was a perfect evening. We started at Indigo where he told me to meet him outside, for me to find him holding a beautiful single pink and white rose to present to me. I was flattered but extremely caught off guard, as I had never been given one on a date before. He continued being a perfect gentleman throughout the evening. He bought us ice cream — and then he drove us to a romantic spot where we could walk down a path by a beautiful pond. There were benches and a gazebo. After having finished our ice creams on the bench, we walked down the path a bit and we had our arms around each other. I felt comfortable but then we approached a spot overlooking the water which was ideally the perfect spot for a first kiss. He still had his arm around me and we glanced at each other several times but neither leaned in to make the first move. Then there was the awkward silence staring out into the crystal blue water.

I began overanalyzing the entire situation, wondering why I wasn’t feeling butterflies in my stomach to kiss him. I thought to myself maybe that just means I’m not attracted to him. Isn’t one supposed to feel those butterflies by date #2? Especially in such a romantic setting? Option 2 was I was just overtaken with nerves, believing he had much more experience than me and was afraid of messing everything up.

You see, I’m used to dating younger, immature boys who don’t typically give me roses or compliments. I like the chase. I feel safe knowing they are approximately at the same level I am in regards to dating and aren’t looking for anything serious at the beginning. Whereas, this guy I was with was very much the opposite — and his eagerness to please made me scared and back off a bit (almost convincing myself I wasn’t attracted to him as a defense mechanism).

Now my friends believe attraction does need to be there to a certain level, but a relationship builds over time. I should stop over thinking things, and if I don’t feel comfortable with the speed at which things are progressing and I genuinely like him as a person (which I do) — I just need to be honest.

So which type of guy would you typically go for and what do you think are the most important qualities you look for. Is it just a fairy tale fantasy to think those butterflies should be there by date #2?


One thought on “Butterflies: Fantasy or Fact?

  1. Can’t say that I have any wondrous advice, but if he’s being a gentleman, I say go for it! You’ll find a much better friend in him than someone who can’t even control themselves. And don’t worry if he didn’t make the move, he’s probably kicking himself about it and the reason he held back is he was probably afraid of offending. As for the butterflies, don’t gauge your feelings by your stomach; on date two when I took a girl out, I was terrified.

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