Where is the Spark?

Hey everyone,

So yesterday I went on a date with a new online match. We had been talking on and off for the last 2 weeks and our conversation was really fluid and comfortable – despite only talking online and through text. I learned he was a teacher, 5 year age gap (which I really didn’t feel was a big deal as long as the connection was there) and we lived 5 minutes away from each other. Very convenient. We even added each other on Facebook. Which I really am against – as although I may sound like a horrible person, I feel the majority of us instinctively judge someone based on looks and sometimes pictures really don’t do a person justice. However, he was the one that suggested it so I crossed my fingers that the attraction would be there on my end. Sure enough he wasn’t the cutest ‘fish’ I’d ever met, but he looked very tall which is a major bonus in my books, seemed to have a good circle of friends and wasn’t a party animal which is something I’m turned off by. I feel it’s really excessive the amount of pictures people post online showing their drunk faces and beer in hand – I just find it as a sign of immaturity. I also learned we had quite a few mutual friends. So I thought, this guy seems genuinely nice – and I’m excited to meet him.

I asked if he wanted to go out for dinner as a post-birthday celebration (as he had just celebrated his birthday a few days before) which he agreed to. He had offered to pick me up which I actually agreed to as we had been talking for awhile and my gut told me that was an okay decision. So at 7:30pm he promptly picked me up and we said hello and conversation was again as predicted, very natural in-person. He was cute, but again, I wasn’t sure if the attraction was there during the car ride to the restaurant. I gave him an envelope with a card in it I had made wishing him a happy birthday. Conversation was smooth, except I found he lacked a bit of personality (as he appeared a bit too serious).

When we got out of the car I learned he was actually about my height which was okay, although in my mind I had expected him to be taller from his description. We sat down for dinner and again we kept asking each other more questions. We learned little things that we had in common like we both loved the same flavour of ice cream and had similar music tastes. So the commonalities were there, although as we were half-way through dinner he seemed to yawn a few times which I wasn’t really sure what that was a sign of. He also asked me several times – ‘what do you mean by that?’ which made me think I wasn’t making sense to him or he just wasn’t processing certain things I was saying. Hence me having to sometimes repeat myself over again. After, we wanted to go buy a scoop of ice cream (our favourite flavour) – except we were 10 minutes too late. Both disappointed, we decided to go to a local bar and have drinks. I thought he would hopefully loosen up a bit more and I would get a bit more personality. We even played a game of air hockey which was fun EXCEPT I still felt something was lacking.

Great guy, many commonalities. However, I was really trying to tell myself there was a physical attraction there, and unfortunately there just wasn’t. I wasn’t sure if it was because of that lack of personality or the fact that there was such a large age gap. So at that point after air hockey I suggested we leave.

When we got in the car he decided to open the card. OH NO… Well it wasn’t bad or anything. It simply said something on the lines of ‘I’m excited to see where this will go’ and I felt like such a horrible person as in my mind I didn’t think it would be going anywhere after all. After reading the card he half-smiled and then leaned towards me and kissed me. I was a bit caught off guard so I just simply smiled back and it was then silent for a little bit. When he dropped me off he told me he had a great time and would love for me to text him tomorrow (being today). I nodded although I knew I probably wouldn’t.

I feel we all have to follow our gut. Not saying it is always right. However, I feel like if I were to see him again I’d just be leading him on unfairly. On the other hand, is the spark generally there the first date? Did he kiss me prematurely? That could be the case, although from past experiences I have felt stronger connections on first dates. So high hopes ended with disappointment. Positive thoughts though from this point forward.

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2 thoughts on “Where is the Spark?

    • Aw. Don’t say that. I do believe it’s important to get to know someone over a period of time to see if those sparks can potentially develop. Which is why I asked myself if I made a firm decision not to see him again too prematurely. I do believe everything happens for a reason though. Ultimately it’s about moving on and just trusting your instincts!!

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