What to Do with an Overly Passionate Pen Pal from New Zealand

Oh the situations I get myself into. Thought I’d share about my on and off pen pal over the last several months. He’s from New Zealand. How may you ask I got in touch with him?

My friend and I a few months ago were having lunch and discussing how great it would be to find pen pals again and send them letters through the mail the old fashioned way. So we excitedly ran back to my house and started the search online. A solid hour later still there was nothing like we wanted. It seemed every pen pal site was online/ email based. For the fun of it, my friend created an account for me to see what kind of messages I would get. So a week later NZ boy writes. He seems very interesting (same age, in biochem, studying abroad in Australia, etc.) So I thought there was no harm in writing back as he seems legit and he did write me a very lengthy email. So we begin corresponding back and forth a few times – not so frequently as I’m pretty busy with work and he writes me.. I’m telling you guys paragraphs upon paragraphs of information. Some bits more interesting than others. Nonetheless when I do read his message I make myself some tea and cookies and settle in to then respond.

NOW, when I say we’ve been talking a few months – I mean to say it’s only been a few messages to him on my end and a few more from his end. We’ve exchanged one or two pictures but that’s it.

A week ago he started talking about how eagerly he wanted me to come visit NZ or possibly visiting here. How he’d cook for me, etc. Truth be told though, I wasn’t sure how comfortable I’d feel having him visit here, and had no plans to visit NZ anytime soon. From his pictures I didn’t think we’d have any ‘romantic’ chemistry (hate to sound shallow). Plus in his emails I started getting really turned off with the amount of ‘hahas’ and ‘:)’ which in his LATEST email 2 days ago turned into ‘;)’ and ‘x’s. When I’m talking ‘haha’ I’m talking this word is being used 3 times in every sentence. So yes, he writes again 2 days ago even though I haven’t responded to his last. He goes on about how he misses me and can’t wait to see me, etc.

So what do I do? Write back with a million ‘hahas’ and say your so funny. Well that would be cruel. Do I tell him I’m seeing someone? Do I just ignore and cut off further communication. Or do I just tell him I don’t want to lead him on but if he’s wanting a friend, I’m happy to continue talking. Please comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts!


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