So today I made plans to meet up with an online dater friend. Super cute, musician (HOT!), lives in the area – check, tall – check. We’d been corresponding back and forth a few times and then he made the first move to meet up in person.. which let me tell you is incredibly refreshing versus the guys who ONLY want to talk online and wait forever before wanting to meet. Usually, I like to add the guy on Facebook first or at least discover more through conversation before meeting up but I just had a hunch we would click. This was because he asked me out on the phone which is even more refreshing as so many guys nowadays just keep the conversation online. He sounded exciting and mature. We talked for about 10 minutes or less (kept it short and sweet) and then he asked me out. We decided to meet at a mall somewhere between where the two of us lived.
So I didn’t want to get my expectations high but of course two days ago after the conversation.. it was already too late. I had seen YouTube videos he had posted of him playing his instruments and was pretty smitten over it.
We met at the mall today (so 2 days after talking on the phone) and we greeted each other hello with a big hug and he said ‘you look great’ which was really nice to hear. Really outgoing personality.. we started talking and it was as if we were so comfortable in each others presence – as if knowing one another for years.
So has it come to the end of my blog? Is this the final post where it seems I’ve met Prince Charming? Well.. unfortunately no. What happened afterwards was…
As soon as we walked into a restaurant to grab dessert, things changed dramatically. He motioned for me to pick whatever table I wanted – and as I walked in a certain direction he told me to follow him instead to one of his choosing. We sit down and instead of sitting face to face – he sits on the same side as me (tells me to move over). So I have a wall barrier to the right of me, and him to the left of me. I feel almost barricaded in. He then begins to be very flirtatious and starts stroking my hand and my exposed shoulder with his finger and keeps telling me how I seem like such an awesome, sweet girl. He takes my hand and interlocks my fingers with his. Despite me pulling my hand away and then covering up, and my body language very clear I wasn’t interested in anything of that sort right away – he continued doing so. I was trying to get bits of information out of him – yet he wasn’t giving me straight answers. He would laugh at things I would share with him (trying to open up) that were completely non-humorous in my opinion.
He then brought up the topic of SEX. Have I ever been with a black guy? Asian guy? He told me he’s not one to flat out say he’s looking for sex.. it’s just ‘when the moment is right.. it’s right.’ By the end of the conversation it became pretty clear that was all he was looking for. I felt like a fool for meeting him so prematurely. For exposing so much about myself prior to meeting – especially letting him look at my design portfolio website where he had access to all my work, and personal information. For buying into everything he said to me before the restaurant about how he seemed so intrigued / impressed with my work only to use that as a way to seem as if he was interested partially in who I was as a person.
I ended the date pretty early.. as my gut was saying to get out of there. I lied and said I had pre-arranged plans to meet a friend. As we walked out he said.. ‘to be honest, I don’t think this is going to work.’ Ha! I said ‘Yeah, well I agree. We seem to have very separate mindsets.’ He continued on by asking me if I’d like to still walk around a bit before my friend got there and I said no that’s fine. He kissed me on the cheek goodbye and I said ‘talk to you later..’ and then he responded with a disgusting ‘well probably not’ in a very sarcastic voice. I muttered ‘right’ and we walked in separate directions.
I was very disappointed. He made himself out to be Mr. Right but just ended up being Mr. Creepy. So I ended up doing a little retail shopping therapy. Walked into the first clothing store I could find in case he came wandering back to find me. Was for the most part really hating all the clothes in the store but there was one purple tank top with a lace patterned upper back that didn’t seem that awful. So I took it into the dressing room – called my mom asking to be picked up. Collected my thoughts, bought the tank top, got home, slightly regretted the purchase. Nonetheless.. that purple tank top will always have an interesting story to go with it.
So guys and girls, advice? Was he more to blame than me?