Hey blogasphere. I know it’s been awhile since my last post. Mainly because I’ve been really focused on school work, in other words, no contact with the male population except for the usual guys in class (no noteworthy stories there). Now that I’ve had some time to settle in I’ll share stories as I get em, starting with the current hot topic – the dating age gap.
So my friend encouraged me to check out the online dating scene which I’ve been somewhat skeptical about – especially just after seeing a movie called ‘Trust.’ Not sure if any of you have heard of it. Pretty much a 14 year old girl who talks to this guy over the Internet who she thinks is her age and turns out to be some 40 year old. Creepy and unsettling!
HOWEVER, I’ve actually heard a lot of positives about online dating experiences. A few of my friends actually had/ have long term relationships with guys/girls they met online and I thought well.. as long as I’m cautious, I guess there is no harm.
So I stumble across this guys profile – and he seems pretty perfect. Same religious background, tall (I’m talking basketball player height), same family values, also loves cats, loves kids, is ambitious, the list goes on. The only thing is I see he’s 25, but really I don’t think it’s that big of a deal. When I think about guys my age (20) compared to guys 5 years older like my cousin (who is like a brother to me). I feel that I connect much more with my cousin’s male peer group than my own. I think maturity is a big thing, and the truth of the matter is a lot of 20 years old’s are still figuring out what they want to do, and partying it up, soaking up their early 20s. Now.. at least my perspective is that 25 year olds have a pretty good idea of where they are going in life, or at least have found some area of interest. They are for the most part independent and aren’t so much talking ‘let’s go get drunk,’ but more so ‘I still like to party, but I’m more focused on my career now/ finding the right girl.’ This isn’t to say I don’t date guys my age or even a year or two older, but I don’t always feel that we are in sync with values and direction.
Anyway – so I send him a message and he responds with a really sweet one, and since then we’ve written back and forth on the site a few times, which turned into texting, and hopefully soon to be phone conversations. I mean it’s kind of ridiculous that the virtual writing back and forth goes on for such a long period of time, but you need to at least develop an understanding of the person’s character and their values before physically meeting up with them.
So I posed a question to my cousin and her friend last night during a family dinner. I asked if they thought a 5 year age gap was too large. They both agreed that it’s perfectly fine. It’s about the connection you have and their maturity level – at least for some people. They said the only area of concern is EXPERIENCE. It’s very true and more than likely if you date someone 5 years older they will have quite a bit more experience than you do – but it’s obvious to note that honesty is the best policy in regards to my personal experience. If I end up meeting up with this guy and really falling for him, I’d be honest about my experience (or inexperience). If he seriously is mature and the amazing guy that he sounds like, I don’t think that will be an issue.
I stumbled across a site called www.experienceproject.com. There is a whole section on stories of young adults/women dating older men. It’s interesting how a lot say they date men twice their age not just related to their maturity level, ‘been there done that,’ and experience but it’s ultimately the connection you have with that person.
Personally I’d feel iffy it was anymore than a 5 year age gap but from the conversations we’ve had I think I’m developing a pretty strong connection and I see no harm in meeting up for coffee and taking it from there!